I Don’t Even Like Him—How Can I Pray for Him?
Have you ever been so mad at your husband that the last thing you wanted to do was pray for him? So have I. It’s hard to pray for someone when you’re angry or he’s hurt you.
But that’s exactly what God wants us to do. If He asks us to pray for our enemies, how much more should we be praying for the person with whom we have become one and are supposed to love? But how do we get past the unforgiveness and critical attitude?
Honest with God
The first thing to do is be completely honest with God. In order to break down the walls in our hearts and smash the barriers that stop communication, we have to be totally up front with the Lord about our feelings. We don’t have to “pretty it up” for Him. He already knows the truth. He just wants to see if we’re willing to admit it and confess it as disobedience to His ways. If so, He then has a heart with which He can work.
Power of Praying Wife
If you’re angry at your husband, tell God. Don’t let it become a cancer that grows with each passing day. Don’t say, “I’m going to live my life and let him live his.” There’s a price to pay when we act entirely independently of one another. “Neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 11:11).
Instead say:
“Lord, nothing in me wants to pray for this man. I confess my anger, hurt, unforgiveness, disappointment, resentment, and hardness of heart toward him. Forgive me and create in me a clean heart and right spirit before You. Give me a new, positive, joyful, loving, forgiving attitude toward him. Where he has erred, reveal it to him and convict his heart about it. Lead him through the paths of repentance and deliverance. Help me not to hold myself apart from him emotionally, mentally, or physically because of unforgiveness. Where either of us needs to ask forgiveness of the other, help us to do so.
If there is something I’m not seeing that’s adding to this problem, reveal it to me and help me to understand it. Remove any wedge of confusion that has created misunderstanding or miscommunication. Where there is behavior that needs to change in either of us, I pray You would enable that change to happen. As much as I want to hang on to my anger toward him because I feel it’s justified, I want to do what You want. I release all those feelings to You. Give me a renewed sense of love for him and words to heal this situation.”
A Challenge
If you feel you’re able, try this little experiment and see what happens. Pray for your husband every day for a month using each one of the 30 areas of prayer I’ve included in this book. Pray a chapter a day. Ask God to pour out His blessings on him and fill you both with His love. See if your heart doesn’t soften toward him. Notice if his attitude toward you doesn’t change as well. Observe whether your relationship isn’t running more smoothly.
If you have trouble making that kind of prayer commitment, think of it from the Lord’s perspective. Seeing your husband through God’s eyes—not just as your husband, but as God’s child, a son whom the Lord loves —can be a great revelation. If someone called and asked you to pray for his or her son, you would do it, wouldn’t you? Well, God is asking.
There is a time for everything, as it says in the Bible. That’s never more true than in marriage, especially when it comes to the words we say. There is a time to speak and a time not to speak, and happy is the man whose wife can discern between the two.
Pray Rather Than Say
Anyone who has been married for any length of time realizes that there are things that are better left unsaid. A wife has the ability to hurt her husband more deeply than anyone else can, and he can do the same to her. No matter how much apology, the words cannot be erased. They can only be forgiven and that’s not always easy. Sometimes anything we say will only hinder the flow of what God wants to do, so it’s best to, well, shut up and pray.
This is an excerpt from, The Power of a Praying® Wife
— TO HELP YOUR FURTHER —
Below are linked articles to read to guide you to pray for your husband in different ways than you might have otherwise thought:
• 10 Things Praying for Your Husband Does for You (the Wife)
• 30 Days of Praying for Your Husband
Filed under: For Married Women Spiritual Matters
(CANADA) Hey thanks a lot Lynne and Cindy. Lynne, I’ll try doing what you suggested and set a day and time that we can talk with my husband. When he came home he did apologize for saying no to the talking. He just said he’d had a bad at work and just wanted to rest.
I have read the emotional distant spouse and I’m trying to understand how to deal with the issue. I think for me what is bothering me is that the only time we talk about the marriage is when we are at the Pastor’s house and after that that’s it. I feel that this isn’t helping us at all.
Cindy I do agree with you that I need to listen more to God coz I do know that He is speaking to me, and there are days when I’m too engrossed in my problem, that I don’t hear Him. When the day comes for us to talk, I’ll give my husband the chance to open up and for me to listen. He has so much stuff bottled up. I did let it go though, and I’ve asked God to intervene. I know I need to change some habits. Satan is really trying to get to me. I can tell by the way I’m feeling and the thoughts that I’m having. But I have refused to go back to where I was.
On a positive note, I do thank God that my resentment and bitterness is gone. I never thought that day would get here. It has taken a lot of prayer, but what did it was when I let everything go, and asked God to fight for me. I’m doing my best to be loving to my husband and remember the things that I loved about him. it’s hard to do when he’s so distant and arrogant. I’m reminding myself that it’s just a front to hide his emotions. Pray for me so that I may be able to truly hear what God is saying and the wisdom to know how to deal with issues. Love you all.
(USA) Anne, I am so glad to hear that you are getting to where you need to be with discernment. I will pray that you can listen to what GOD is saying. Please pray that I am able to do the same. I’ve been trying to face a lot of problems by myself again and reluctantly I am realizing that now. So you’re not alone in needing prayers in that department.
You’ve kind of been an inspiration to me. I hear all that you’ve gone through and it comforts me. You’re an awesome reminder that it’s possible to get through hurt and grow with GOD in the process. Sometimes we all need that reminder especially when hurt can sometimes shut doors and open a window for the devil. Keep doing what you’re doing and if you have any advice along the way don’t hesitate to share. I am in the boat with you.
Cindy what you wrote to Anne really hit home for me too. Thank you very much.
Ladies, I also have a question if any of you have some advice. I went through the sexual issues links on this site and wasn’t able to find anything really helpful. My husband has been wanting the past few days. I surrendered to his wants in the effort to do what I thought was right. However, I didn’t feel very connected and it honestly felt like sex vs. making love. There really wasn’t any intimacy but it seemed as if he was trying.
Then last night it happened again but this time it didn’t seem as if he tried at all. He was just in it to make himself feel good. I told him how I felt and he apologized but I am still having a hard time with this. I don’t feel connected with him intimately. How do I get that intimacy back? He’s been great lately about making sure I know that he loves me, which has been a blessing. Knowing he loves me has helped fight off a lot of doubts and the devil praying on my insecurities, but that love is just not showing though in the bed room. Are there any suggestions? Spicing it up is not the problem, Sometimes I think it’s too spicy now. I just feel like an object and like… like a wife. Thanks Love, LYNNE
(CANADA) Hey Lynne, nice to hear from you. I’m doing ok considering. I’m glad that I can help you Lynne. Cindy, I honestly can’t thank you enough for suggesting I read the book Sacred Influence. I remember when I bought it I prayed for it. I prayed that I would get the answers I was seeking the last few months. Every page has an answer to a question I have asked God. It’s amazing how God speaks to us. So thank you so much.
I started journaling last week Thursday and I promised myself that in the midst of my storm I’ll find 5 things that I’m grateful for. I tell you that has helped a lot. Last night I had 9 things. Who would have thought? And some of it was what my husband had done. I’ve learned to thank God for this storm. Because of His love He wants me to be the woman He created me to be and to be the wife He created me to be.
The best thing I did (which was in the book) was to pray and thank GOD for my husband’s strengths and to pray for my weaknesses. I realised I was asking God to change me but I was always praying for my husband’s weaknesses and not his strengths. Lynne, I will tell you this has helped, because despite what he’s doing I remember the reasons why I fell in love with him. It also helps me to remember that he is human and he’s not perfect and God loves him unconditionally too.
Granted I’m still hurting because of the continual friendship with this other woman, but thanking God for the positive things that happen around me, is encouraging. I know that God will open my husbands eyes. We are going to talk on Tuesday so please pray for me and my husband. Pray that I will listen to him and understand his pain and what he’s feeling and there’ll be honesty and no angry words exchanged. Pray for me too, that I’ll be able to be bold enough to express how I feel about his "friendship" without using harsh words but with words of love and affirmation. I’ll see and pray if this is the best day to talk about it or when we are with the pastor. Please pray for our meeting with the pastor on Wednesday. Any advice for this let me know. Thank you all so much for your support and prayers.
My husband moved back to the room. I was gonna talk to him on Tuesday about it but on Saturday night I remember I prayed for it and asked God to close the gap that’s between my husband and I so that satan may not use that to his advantage. I tell you God is truly faithful coz my husband slept beside me the last 2 nights.
Lynne, I don’t know what’s the best advice I can give you. I can understand that you may not feel like being physically intimate with your husband considering the emotional disconnection that has gone on between you and your husband. All I can suggest is to be open with your husband and tell him how you feel. Please pray about it Lynne, because honestly, you don’t want to give satan any foothold in your marriage. Any open window that the enemy sees he goes in with full armor to destroy. Remember he came close to ending your marriage, but because of all your prayers and trusting in God, God came down and saved your marriage.
The enemy will try to get back what he thought was already his victory by destroying your intimacy with your husband. Remember that your hubby had the pornography addiction. Satan will tell him lies to get him back to that with the lie that, because there’s no intimacy in the marriage, he is justified to watch all that stuff (no way is it your fault that pornography entered you marriage).
Be thankful to God that your husband is trying to make up for his mistakes and that he loves you. Nobody said that getting back on track would be easy. It’s hard work and both of you must be willing to work at it and realise that the other person is trying to make the marriage better, and whatever little thing either of you does, both of you need to show you appreciate it. Both of you need to pray for your marriage. Have you tried praying together? I know my husband and I haven’t done that but I would like to start because that’s one way to bring you closer together. And you’ll be fighting the enemy of together. Read 1st CORINTHIANS 7:3-6 and pray that God may open the door for you and your husband. I’ll be praying for you gal. Loads of love. I truly have a friend in you. Remember you are not alone. Jesus is beside you and He’s walking with you. Just have faith.
(USA) Only by learning to press on in her relationship with the Lord, will a woman be able to handle her own pain, which will merely compound the marital stress if it’s allowed to churn out into negative words and reactions. The path to helping her husband and, therefore, ultimately helping herself, starts with her own walk with the Lord. (When Men fail to lead)
(UNITED STATES) Hello everybody, I have been visiting this site for a couple of months now and I find it very uplifting and inspirational. I applaud every last visitor of this site who is dedicated to Christ and your relationships. I was preparing myself for marriage and I found a lot of helpful information on here before I was hit with the worst news of my life!!
I have been in a relationship for 6 years now, I have been engaged for 2 months and I have a 4 year old daughter. I acknowledge Christ and I know that I have not lived my life according to his will but everyday I am making efforts to strengthen my relationship with Christ.
My world began to tumble down about 2 months ago. I learned that my ex fiancé was cheating. I immediately forgave him and then began reading together and studying God’s word and we even attended 2 sessions of pre-martial counseling. We focused on each other and what has gone wrong between us. I was devastated but I put my faith in God in I really believed that this was my future husband and we could get pass this.
On my weak days, I continued to pray and I asked God to give me a clear sign whether my ex fiancé was the man God made for me; in about 1 week God give me my sign. I continued to question my ex fiancé’s actions and I learned that he had not ended this relationship with the other young lady and he also had been dating another young woman for two years and she just had a 2 month old baby. He also had a few female friends that he talked to on the phone occasionally.
I was crushed….I haven’t even gotten over the first ordeal and then I was hit with this. He denies being the father of this child and a paternity test will take place soon, but as much as I am hurting I still feel like he needs me and my strength to get through this. He doesn’t deserve me and God has really strengthened me throughout this process. But I still have a lot of love for this man and I was really looking forward to day when we would become a family. I am seeking advice because my mind is fed up and tells me NO!! but my heart just wants to be there for him and tries to save us. What good is it to pray for something from God and then when he shows you something you ignore it?
I’m so confused…. my ex fiancé seems like he is really focusing on God to bring him through this situation. He has apologized to me and expressed deep remorse and sorrow. I’m just lost right now and I don’t know what to do please give me some advice and please keep me in your prayers.
(USA) ANNE, How did your talk with Steve go last night? Did you guys make any headway? I prayed last night that you did. Let me know. And what you said did give me comfort. I’ve prayed about the intimacy issue and I feel better, as well as my husband and I talked about it. He apologized for making me feel bad. He hasn’t tried anything since, I think he’s giving me time. Which oddly enough I think is GOD intervening. Love ya. Hope yesterday went good.
Nicole, Hey girl, nice of you to join us. Welcome. I read your comment a few days ago when I was on the go but honestly I kind of didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t respond right away. On this website there are some great articles about, is he/she the one, red flags, etc. I guess you have to ask yourself if you’re ready to enter into a holy covenant with this man. Forgiveness is the 2nd most powerful thing we have from GOD, and love is the first. However, GOD will tell you what to do if you listen. Spend your time getting closer to GOD right now and pray for your ex.
If your ex is trying to get closer to GOD then support that, but don’t forget about yourself. While he’s getting closer to GOD you should too, and if that leads to your being a family then that’s great. But don’t allow that to be your motivation, or his. GOD needs to come first or you’ll never be happy. God needs to be the reason, and the good things that follow (like your having a family with this man) is an awesome side affect. GOD comes first; happiness follows.
Allow him time to work on himself, and take that time to work on yourself, and your individual relationships with GOD. After fixing your relationship with GOD then you both can focus on fixing your relationship with each other in a way that honors GOD. GOD is the strongest foundation to build any marriage on. When you stray away from GOD, that’s when the enemy comes to play.
I am here if you ever need anything and I check periodically. Love ya, LYNNE
(USA) Hi Lynne, In reading your last post about the intimacy issue, what came to mind for me was this: I think it’s a great step forward for your husband to be coming to you especially after an attachment to another woman. AND you said he had some problems with porn, too, if I recall correctly? If so, then it’s a step forward for him to be approaching you. It may be awkward now but I imagine, over time, it will get better and more at ease.
If you feel like God is intervening and giving you a break, then it sounds like you’re already hearing/seeing the messages God is sending you. But I did want to add that. I think anyone who is coming off of an inappropriate relationship with another woman and/or a porn addiction (if that was the case), is showing great strides in trying to reconnect physically with his wife.
I must admit, because of my husband’s anger issue, which he has been going to God with, and God has been helping him with, I can’t say that sex has ever been really emotionally connected for me. It was never violent, but there were times when a conversation would crop up that would make him angry and that might inhibit things. But living with an angry person is, in general, an inhibitor to emotional fulfillment and connection.
I longed for the day I’d see that in my marriage (in ALL parts of it). I can’t say it’s here yet, for me, on a daily basis but I’ve seen glimpses. And even if it never happens, I know that’s why God has blessed me with my son and future children. I can at least establish an emotional bond with them and vice versa. Anyone who does not yet have peace (from the Lord) in their own heart will not be able to give that out to the people in their lives. So that is something to consider, too, about your husband.
Most of us can look at other Christians around us and tell who has true peace and who is just sort of faking it, or goes in and out of it. I know that because I remember what it used to be like when I’d "toil." It was a lack of peace. I don’t do that anymore. And that is not only peaceful, but a wonderful way to live life and face trials (big and small).
I love this verse: Matt. 6:28 (through 34). Christ says the lilies of the field do not "toil" (in terms of worrying) and neither should we. Here he is talking about worrying about where we’ll live, or whether we’ll have food and clothes. But I take a broader interpretation to mean we really shouldn’t worry about anything. And once you can get to that point, it’s such a great place to be mentally and emotionally.
I don’t know if I’ll ever have emotional fulfillment in my marriage, with my spouse, or if you’ll ever have that with your spouse in your sexual life. But the one thing that gives me hope is that whatever is lacking in my life, Christ can fill me up. Whatever emotional intimacy or connection I lack with my physical husband, I look to my spiritual husband (Christ) to fill that void for me.
Love and prayers, LT
(CANADA) Hey Lynne, thanks a lot for your prayers but we didn’t talk… I know, we ended up having guests, my-in-laws. And by the time they left, my husband was ready to go to bed. I wasn’t able to write because I was so tired. I’m glad though, that we didn’t go. What happened was, on Monday night we talked a bit. I did tell him how I felt about his friendship with this woman. He told me that she left their company. Some thing he told me was very hurtful too. He did it out of spite. I was just shocked, but I didn’t hide how I felt.
He’s being very arrogant about this topic. We didn’t argue or anything but it just hurt to talk about it and not get an apology from him for hurting me. I cried to God to intervene. I left it all to God because I already told my husband how i feel. On Tuesday I was still hurting and my heart had hardened. I didn’t feel like talking and I didn’t want to cancel it. I prayed and asked God if I was really ready to talk. I’m glad that it didn’t happen.
One good thing that happened was that he has seen how hard I’ve been trying to work on our marriage and make some changes. He told me that made it easy for him to want to put 100% to the marriage. That’s all because of God, because of all the things He has shown me. I know it won’t be easy considering the fact that I don’t trust him and I don’t see anything that shows he will try to built the trust (maybe he will and he just hasn’t started). But God will help me and He’ll open a way.
I feel better today because God is really showing me what I need to do for my marriage. And that’s to love my husband and show him respect even when it’s so hard to do that. And he’s showing me to communicate to him and with him. We went to our pastor’s today and it went well. We are getting along with my husband and I do have a good feeling about it all. We are going away on the 16th for the weekend and I’ve been praying for that day.
I’m still praying for the day that we’ll talk. I know God is working in our marriage I know there are tough challenges ahead as we try to understand each other but this is where I put all my trust in God to guide me and us through this and help us to work together as a team. Continue praying for the day that we shall be able to talk.
Lynne, I’m glad I helped you a bit. Just listen to what God is telling you. Things will get better. The plan He has for you is greater than anything you could ever imagine. Pray for me to continue listening to God and to open my eyes to see what He’s showing me. Love you gal, and thank you so much for everything.
(USA) LT & Anne, You guys are right. It’s time for me to stop worrying. I am sorry Anne, that you didn’t get the opportunity to talk like you’d wanted. But I am happy that you got the opportunity NOT to talk if your heart wasn’t in it. Whatever your husband said to you that was so hurtful, let it be overshadowed by the fact that he said the other woman is no longer going to be working with him. That’s GOD working in all three of your lives. Now he and she are no longer going to see each other everyday, that’s a great start. GOD’s working here. What your husband said was just the devil being desperate to keep you focused on the negative instead of hearing the positive. I will definitely keep praying for you all.
LT, What I just said to Anne was exactly what the devil was doing to me, and you made me realize that. I am focusing on the lack of intimacy vs. the fact that he actually wanted to be with me. Which is also a very great start. I almost let negative feelings overshadow the positive. Thank you for helping me realize that.
Yesterday we spent a lot of time in passing just talking, and it was awesome. I realized that he really does love me and he’s making such an effort. And for some reason I am being just plain mean. Please pray that I can watch my temper and acknowledge how hard he’s trying. Love ya, Lynne
(UNITED STATES) Hey Lynn, Thank you for your time and advice. Everything you said is very true and I know now that I must start putting MY life back together with the help of Christ because I can’t do it alone. He is my strength, comforter, and friend.
I have really been trying to strengthen my relationship with God. This whole ordeal made me realize that God was 3rd or 4th in my life and that was NEVER acceptable. My fiancé and daughter were 1st, followed by my family and friends, and then my job. I didn’t become aware of this until the enemy began to take over my life.
I can honestly say that things are getting better. I can sleep now, I am not angry, and I have peace. God is bringing me through this. I am going to church more often, I pray 2 and 3 times a day, and I fast. God is going to give me my breakthrough. I don’t know what the future holds for me and my ex-fiancé, but I just ask that God shows me what he wants me to do, and I pray that my ex fiancé seeks God to help tackle his devilish ways.
I am currently reading “The Power of a Praying Woman”…..WOW this book is teaching me so much. I am learning how to talk to God and how to pray to God. Everything I am going through right now in my life is discussed in this book. My focus now is to build a relationship with God and to teach my child about our wonderful Savior.
I don’t know what the future holds for me but if it is God’s will, I hope I will live a happy and honest life with the person God has for me! ( of course I pray that it is with my ex-fiancé but if it isn’t I pray that I will be strong enough to accept that).
May God bring many blessing into your life Lynn…..thanks.
(CANADA) Hey Lynne, thanks a lot for your message. You know I hadn’t thought that what my husband said was the devil trying to get things going in the wrong direction. It’s a good thing I ran to God. I can actually see how the enemy is trying to destroy what God is trying to rebuild. I’m learning things that I never thought about, on how to be submissive to my husband. It’s truly a journey of learning what God wants from me as His daughter and a wife.
I can’t read His word and not practice what He expects. I know the blessings will come from Him. I know that my husband and I will talk on the day that God has chosen. I know God is working on this marriage. I can feel it. I just can’t wait to see all the blessings He has in store for us.
I’m so happy for you Lynne that your husband is trying. I’ll pray for you gal that you’ll be able to deal with your temper. One thing I ask for, is for God to give me fresh new eyes so that I may view my husband as He does. Love ya gal.
There’s a good book by Stormie Ormatian -PRAYING THROUGH THE DEEPER ISSUES OF MARRIAGE. It’s a nice book that covers a lot. If you can get it that would be good.
Nicole, I’m glad God is working wonders on you. Keep on praying God has all the answers. I will pray for you.
(UNITED STATES) Thank you for your encouraging words Anne. I will pray for you and your family as well! Lynne, I apologize for the misspelling of your name. May God continue to shine on your life! Nicole
(USA) Good Morning Ladies, I am writing to ask for your prayers for me today. As I have said before, now and then I tend to have my weak days and I am not sure why they occur, but it just happens. As I have also previously stated, I feel as though my husband and I have been on a great path minus the affection I am missing. He will let me hug him, or kiss him on the cheek, but that is all.
Last night I decided to ask him for a real kiss goodnight and he wouldn’t budge. He only responded to leave him alone before he got angry. I am not even sure what made me try, I just felt like I wanted to and I thought maybe he would reciprocate for once. And I am not sure why he responded so harshly either. We have been getting along great. So needless to say, I went to bed hurt and I am having one of those weak days where I feel like I long to have someone hold me and kiss me so badly that I just can’t take another day!
I also have feelings that I don’t have to put up with this. I could leave and teach him a lesson showing him that I can easily find someone that is willing to care for me. I do know that this is the devil trying to enter my head, so please just pray for these feelings to leave me and tell me what I should be praying for! Do I pray for myself to be strong and hold on no matter what? Do I pray for his affections? I normally pray for everything but I want to be praying for the correct things!! Well ladies thanks for reading, I just felt the need to write today and vent because I am just hurting today. I look forward to your prayers and suggestions. Much Love!! Amber
(UNITED STATES) Hello Everyone, I am writing this message as I sit and listen to Yolanda Adams "Open My Heart". Where do I begin? My husband and I have been separated for a month now, and there are no signs of reconciliation. We actually do not even speak. For the first two weeks after he left I called every night and left a prayer on his voice mail. I signed us up for virtual counseling with e-marriage, (he didn’t participate) and I prayed for us almost every waking moment, but to no avail. At the end of the two weeks I went to see him and he said he had not had a change of heart and in fact he had filled out papers for an annulment….Did I mention we have only been married 5 months and we only had our ceremony two months ago. Hence we had only been living together for a month before he left.
Unfortunately, this is not the first time this has happened to us. We were engaged a year ago and moved in together. After three months, he left me in an empty apartment and with an expensive lease. (He’d bought the new furniture and other things that were gifted to us by his parents, so he felt obliged to take it all when he left. My son and I were left with only a patio table.) This happened last summer. Throughout that entire summer, I prayed for him and our relationship. Tragedy brought us back together. One late August night he showed up, with his mother, to tell me he was diagnosed with a Chronic Illness. He did not ask for my sympathy and at times he even rejected it. But slowly we got closer and closer and four months later eloped.
I’m not sure if that’s where we went wrong, because we did not get pre-marital counseling, or what. But it went downhill from there. After our marriage his mother had a discussion with him and basically told him that I used insider information to elope with him. Before we eloped she called me and told me she was upset with him because he seemed to be getting defiant with her. He did not want to help with the family business and taking his sisters to and from school. He also expressed his frustrations with me. I choose not to share this conversation with either of them. I felt that they came to me in confidence and it was not my place to repeat any of the conversation to anyone.
Well, she eventually told him about the conversation (after our wedding) and I suppose they both realized that they had both talked to me. I’m not sure how this came about but the conclusion was, he was mad at her when he asked me to elope with him. She then told him that I should have realized that he was just mad at her when he asked me to elope with him. As I am the eldest of us (he is 23 I am 28). I really did not realize this. I sincerely thought he wanted to marry me, while I was hesitant about eloping, it was not for that reason…
As I said, this comes out a week after our official wedding. She also tells him how offended she is that I did not call her after the wedding to thank her or see how she was doing. To convey this, my husband does not speak to me for an entire week after our wedding and I cant figure out why. Finally we get into a heated argument and he blurts out.."you can’t even call and check on anyone and thank them for the wedding considering they paid for part of the wedding and you haven’t even scheduled a repayment". I was so stunned when he said this. Prior to our wedding I’d spoken with his mother and we had made an arrangement for repayment. I understand that it was inconsiderate of me not to call after the wedding, but I truly was swamped with work. I could not take off work after the wedding and I was just overwhelmed with adjusting. In my mind I felt like it’d only been a week, I had messaged her, but no actual conversation…
I’m not sure why I am even writing all of this…I just don’t know what to do and I am all alone. No one in his family will talk to me and he won’t either. I just don’t know what God wants me to do. Did I make the wrong choice this summer? I prayed and prayed to God. I told God how much I loved “T”, that it was unconditional, and I could be a good wife. I felt as if his diagnosis was a test of what I’d pledged to God. But was it the devil? Did he win?
I am now headed for divorce because of what? I am really losing my mind sitting her in limbo. Do I just sit here and wait for him to send me paperwork? It’s getting hard for me to function. I am trying to do the right thing… I don’t want to be bitter but when is enough enough? I prayed for strength in my marriage, for the strength to keep my vows, and I know that God doesn’t give you exactly what you ask for, rather he gives you the opportunity to get what you asked for, but this?
Every chance I get to be alone, I am crying and praying, and it’s effecting me physically and mentally. I’m trying my hardest not to let it get to me spiritually, because that’s all I have (and my son). I know getting a divorce won’t make this pain go away, but its really hard to just be….
(CANADA) Hey Amber, I’ve wondered how you’ve been doing. I’m sorry that you had a bad night and that you’re hurting. We all get weak days and trust me I’ve had my share. To answer your question, YES, it’s the devil defiantly telling you to leave your husband. The enemy can see that you are praying a lot and the two of you are getting along so he wants to break that and coz there’s a window open he’s getting in.
Leaving your hubby and getting another man is not God’s plan for you. God just wants you to draw closer to Him and trust him to work on you and your husband. I know it’s not easy to feel lonely and lack affection. I’ve been there. I don’t know whether your husband used to be affectionate before, but pray for him and pray for yourself too for God to show you how to appreciate your husband and how to do it. This goes both ways.
Amber, talk to your husband about how you feel and also ask him what he needs from you as a wife. If you’re both open and honest with each other you’ll both know how to work on it. After that, pray that God will guide both of you as you re-learn each other. God will never leave you nor forsake you. I’ll suggest you read SACRED INFLUENCE. Cindy referred it to me for me. It has helped a lot and I hope it will help you too. I’ll pray for you and your husband. Love ya gal.
I need some advice. Have any of you ever felt as though you love your husbands, but not the same way? That’s how I feel. At first I couldn’t figure out the unsettling feeling i was having, until I started thinking of all the ways to be loving to my husband and bring affection back to the marriage. Yesterday I wrote him a text and I told him I loved him. I knew he wouldn’t write those words but even after I wrote them I didn’t feel them. I hope I’m making sense. I know we’re so emotionally disconnected, but how do we begin re-connecting and showing affection when I feel this way?
This is why my husband and I need to talk. but something always comes up. Pray for me so that God may guide me through this and to get rid of this fear. A part of me does fear that my husband will not reciprocate these feelings and the affection. Then the other part thinks he will coz he used to be very affectionate, but that was before all this things. Let me know how to go about this. Thanks a lot for your prayers.