Pursuing Marriage Worth Finding

Do you want to marry someday? Are you ready to marry right now? You might even wonder why you haven’t found “that special someone” yet. You believe you are ready for marriage and you’ve been praying about it for a long, long time. But nothing has happened yet. I want to ask you though, are you pursuing marriage—one that is worth finding?

Perhaps God has a different plan for you, or maybe the timing is not the right for it to happen just yet. I’m not sure. These matters can get so complicated. But I’m going to give you a few thoughts and a few tools to help you either way.

First, I’m going to lead you to a few “tools” that can help you to pray for your future spouse, if that is God’s will for you. The following links take you to different web site articles that can help you concerning this matter. They give you specifics on how to pray for your future spouse.

Please read and prayerfully consider:

• HOW TO PRAY FOR A HUSBAND

• PRAYING FOR YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND

And:

• HOW TO PRAY FOR YOUR FUTURE WIFE

The Mystery of Why

You may wonder why your prayers haven’t been answered in the way you believe they should.

But here’s something to prayerfully consider that Bible teacher Beth Moore points out. She said, “If God puts a stay on things, you can figure that something is up. Things in heaven are coming into play with things on earth.” That’s a good point. Who but God knows the complexities of your situation in light of all eternity? You might think this is the “perfect” time. But there may be a lot of complicating circumstances going on beyond what you can see and perceive. These are things only God knows and understands.

Beth goes on to give another possibility:

“God never hangs a veil over our understanding accidentally. He is intentional. There is a reason. And the reason may be that He is calling you to faith.”

So, it could be that things aren’t put into place quite yet for that “event” to happen. And/or it could be that God is calling you to further trust Him. Or it could be that God is telling you (by the fact that it’s not happening) that it isn’t wise at this particular time. Consider that: “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.” (Proverbs 16:25) 

Possibly your reason(s) for marrying makes sense to you, but God might be protecting you from some type of “folly.” “It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way. A man’s own folly ruins his life, yet his heart rages against the LORD.” (Proverbs 19:2-3)

Author, Wayne Johnson points out a number of reasons that could be considered “folly” or “foolish” for marrying. Please read:

• FOOLISH REASONS FOR GETTING MARRIED

Will God Deny You Marriage?

With that said, however, it is also “foolish” to think that if your reasons are not the best at this time, you will be denied by God the “right” to be married. It doesn’t usually work that way. After all, a lot of people marry. Many of them are “good” Christians, yet they marry when they shouldn’t.

God gives us a free will and allows us to make mistakes. If you’re persistent enough, He might not stop you. But it’s something you also might live to regret. Just be careful that your desire to be married doesn’t turn into a type of idol worship of marriage. Being in a bad marriage is worse than not being married. Be careful of idealizing marriage.

Joy Eggerichs addresses this in the following compelling video that I encourage you to watch:

It would be good to consider that if God has been revealing truths to you through this article, and through other ways, this could be the best time possible to step back. Work on whatever issues you have, that should be dealt with before marrying.

But while you’re doing so, should you date? Julie Ferwerda addresses this important issue in the following Growthtrac.com article:

• SHOULD I WAIT OR DATE?

In Pursuing Marriage Consider Character Qualities

Also, the following is an article posted at Boundless.org that might help you to consider character qualities that can be important to work on developing. Suzanne Hadley “informally interviewed a dozen married couples to find out what drew them to their spouses and what made them stick around.” There are “10 characteristics rose to the top.” To learn more, please click to read:

• 10 WAYS TO BE MARRIABLE

God knows your needs. It’s not that He wants to deny you “the love of your life.” He wants to guide you to partner with Him along the road you are to travel.

Suzanne Hadley Gosselin, wrote about this in a two part series featured in a webzine. In it she discusses the importance of trusting God with your relationships. She wrote:

“One foundational truth about my singleness is God sees my need. Moments after creation, God takes a personal interest in Adam’s lonely state. ‘It is not good for the man to be alone.‘ (Genesis 2:18) God did not create humans to live in isolation. He designed us to long for and experience companionship and love. And if He had compassion toward Adam’s loneliness, I can trust that He sees and understands mine.”

God’s Partnership

To learn more concerning God’s partnership with you in this area of your life, please click onto the Boundless.org web site link below to read:

• TRUSTING GOD WITH RELATIONSHIPS (Part 1)

Suzanne goes on to write:

“I often notice people becoming uptight when we begin discussing the issue of trusting God with relationships. This is because they equate trust in God with passivity. But since when did ‘trusting God’ mean ‘do nothing?’ We’re all rather attached to eating, right? But do we sit at home waiting for meals to come to us? No, we work to purchase food. Similarly, if you want the job, you apply for the job. If you want to get involved in your church, you show up at the small group. And if you want to get married, you take initiative with members of the opposite sex by building healthy relationships with them and either pursuing or being open to pursuit.”

To read more, please click onto the Boundless.org web site link below to read:

• TRUSTING GOD WITH RELATIONSHIPS (Part 2)

Are You Pursuing Marriage that is Worth Finding?

Trusting involves having faith. And faith, by its definition is: F.A.I.T.H. which means: Forsaking All I Trust Him. Faith involves trust that forsakes doing things your own “logical” way.

Part of the wait, might be that you’re looking for your “soul mate” in “your pursuit of a marriage worth finding.” If that’s so, you might consider what author Gary Thomas writes on this issue.

As he says:

“In a biblical view, there is not ‘one right choice’ for marriage, but rather good and bad choices. We are encouraged to use wisdom, not destiny, as our guide when choosing a marital partner. There is no indication that God creates ‘one’ person for us to marry. This is because Christians believe that God brings the primary meaning into our lives. Marriage —though wonderful —is still secondary.

“…The reason it is so crucial to adopt the Bible’s view of “good and bad choices” over your destiny of finding ‘the one’ is that the former attitude allows you to objectively consider the person you marry. There is no objective measurement of ‘destiny.’ Powerful emotions can blind us to all sorts of clues; when we adopt the biblical attitude of making a ‘wise’ choice, we can use all that God has given us to arrive at a solid decision that should be based on a number of factors.”

To learn more, please click onto the Boundless.org web site link to read:

• SOUL MATES OR SOLE MATES?

As you’re pursuing marriage, please realize that:

“Whether or not you are being pursued, whether or not you have a boyfriend [or girlfriend], whether or not you are on the track to getting married, it does not define who you are or your value or what your purpose is here on earth. Remember that. Remember that you are created in God’s image. I’ll say it again: He made you in his image. (Genesis 1:26-27) He sent his Son to earth for you. (John 1:1-4) God has pursued you since the beginning of time and continues to constantly pursue YOU and wants relationship with you and desires to show you his love. (Zephaniah 3:17)

“Believe that. Savor it. Hold on to it each and every time you feel frustrated and dejected.” (Laura MacCorkle, from Crosswalk.com article “He Said – She Said: What’s Wrong With Me?”)

Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this article.

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