It’s that time of year where gift giving is on the minds of people all around the world. Many consider giving fruit baskets, fruit cakes, or serve fruit of some type to family and friends. But we thought of another way to give out “fruit” as well. How about giving out the “fruit of the Spirit“ through random acts of kindness?
Just so you know:
“Random acts of kindness are selfless acts performed by a person or persons wishing to either assist or cheer up an individual… There will generally be no reason other than to make people smile or be happier.” (Wikipedia.org)
So, for starters, here’s an act of “kindness” that Jennifer Waddle suggests you could give to your spouse this Christmas:
“Give Them a Day Off. What could it mean to your spouse to have an entire day to themselves? No worries, no responsibilities, and no expectations. Give your spouse the gift of time, encouraging them to refresh and refuel before the holiday rush. [Or if that won’t work, you could give it to them to use soon after Christmas.] Assure them the kids are cared for, the chores are done, and they are free to enjoy.
“Ultimately, encouraging self-care is a way to show your spouse how valuable they are and that you respect their tireless efforts. Permission to rest means more than you realize, and it’s a selfless way to show kindness at Christmas.” (From the article, “10 Acts of Kindness to Strengthen Your Marriage This Christmas”)
Random Acts of Kindness Taken Further
Taking this a step further, how about carrying out random acts of “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control“ (pointed out in Galatians 5:22-23) with and for your spouse this Christmas season (and beyond)? As Mary Ann Romans suggests:
“Why not take this whole random acts of kindness idea to your marriage? There are two ways and two benefits to doing this. First of all, you can practice these random acts of kindness together. Not only will you be blessing the lives of other people, but you will also strengthen your marriage by working together and coming face to face with the reality of how blessed you are.
“You can also practice random acts of kindness for your spouse. This is both easier and harder than it might seem. You probably already do a lot for your spouse, but what if you did some extra things without being asked or without telling? Perhaps you find a lost object, put gas in the car, make a favorite meal, etc. Aim to find at least one new random act of kindness that you can practice for your spouse each day.”
Showing Fruits of the Spirit
Concerning these “fruits of the Spirit“ you can fruitfully show “love” many ways. Steve blessed me the other day when he offered me a foot massage. He knew I had been up on my feet most of the day. How WONDERFUL! He also asked me the other morning, “What can I do that would be the MOST help to you?” This is my “Love Language” for sure! I’ve blessed him by randomly making things peaceful and relaxing within our home. And yet I add a spark of romance at other times.
There are a variety of ways to show your spouse love in a manner that he/she best understands it. To help you with this we have an article on our web site titled, 100 Ways to Show Love to Your Wife HER Way. Plus, we have 100 Ways You Can Love Your Husband HIS Way, which can help you come up with ideas.
Another fruit is “joy“ where you randomly bring little spots of joy into your spouse’s life. One way I do this with Steve is to look for things that are funny to share with him (and he does that for me). Laughter really is “good medicine” (as the Bible says). It’s good for us as individuals AND it’s good for our marriage. Life is hard. So, it’s good to find ways to bring a smile to our spouse’s face whenever possible — not just at Christmas time.
Be Kind; Give Room
Concerning this “fruit of the Spirit“ there’s a helpful Crosswalk.com article titled “10 Tips to Prepare for the Holiday Season” written by Jim Burns. In the second tip, Jim wrote:
“Remember the holiday season does not eliminate sadness or loneliness. Problems and difficulties arise even during the holiday season. And, for some, it evokes painful memories from recent events or the loss of loved ones in the past. Give room for yourself and your family to experience these feelings. Try not to let them become a consuming focus. Make an effort to work through present challenges and conflicts.”
Steve helped me (Cindy) with this as we were decorating for Christmas. We found an ornament that my brother Rick (who died several years ago) had made for me. On the ornament, he wrote, “A brother is someone who knows the song in your heart and sings it when you forget the words.” How I miss his “singing” on this side of heaven. As I shared this heartache with Steve, he held me in his arms. And that brought me comfort. It lightened the load a bit and drew us closer together.
Look for Joy
Again, concerning these random acts of kindness, here’s another tip that Jim Burns wrote:
“Acknowledge the past but look forward to the future. Life brings change. Each season of life is different. Determine to enjoy this holiday season for what it is. Acknowledging the past, whether it was good or bad, is appropriate. But, if you find that this year has been a rough one and you don’t anticipate having the best holiday season ever, try not to set yourself up by comparing today with the ‘good old days.’ Take advantage of the joys the present holiday season has to offer.”
Sometimes it’s a matter of leaning into the joy God will give you when the enemy of our faith would love you to focus on things that hurt instead. As we said before, LOOK for ways to bring the “medicine” of laughter and joy into your life together this Christmas season (and beyond).
Fruit of Patience
Another “fruit of the Spirit“ is “patience.” It’s one of the fruits that most of us lack but need the most. Sometimes when Steve goes shopping with me, he’ll take off his watch, so he won’t be as impatient. And I work not to try his patience as much by hurrying more than I would if he wasn’t with me. Ask God to show you specific ways to bless your spouse with this fruit.
And then there is the fruit of “kindness,” “goodness,” and “gentleness.” Look for ways to be kinder in your words and actions. Keep in mind that when you’re too busy to be kind, you’re too busy. Take a deep breath. Regroup your thoughts and ask God for help and possible short cuts.
Hilary Berstein gives a very important tip on this that we can engage in this Christmas (and beyond).
“Watch what you say. It might be a lot easier to answer with a snappy comeback — or to say exactly what you’re feeling. (After all, you should be completely honest with your [spouse], right??) Start thinking before you speak, though. Before you blurt out whatever comes to mind, think about what you want to say — and then think of a kind way to say it.”
I was able to give the gift of “patience, kindness and gentleness” when Steve irritated me yesterday. I wanted to snap back at him in a very unkind way; but instead, I took a breath and responded with patient gentleness. That’s not always easy, but it’s important. Plus, it’s appreciated by the spouse who needs an extra measure of grace sometimes. And who doesn’t need more grace during the busyness of the Christmas season?
Add to the Fruit
It’s important to:
“Make every effort to add to your faith goodness. And to goodness, add knowledge. And to knowledge, add self-control. To self-control, add perseverance. And to perseverance, add godliness. To godliness, add brotherly kindness. And to brotherly kindness, add love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind. He has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.“ (2 Peter 1:5-9)
May we always remember what we’re also told in the Bible:
“Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.“ (Philippians 4:5) “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience. Bear with each other. And forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.“ (Colossians 3:12-13)
In unity with Christ, let us look for ways to give the fruit of the Spirit in random acts of love this Christmas season and beyond. And may God bless you in these efforts!
Cindy and Steve Wright
— ADDITIONALLY —
To help you even further, we give a lot of personal stories, humor, and more practical tips in our book, 7 ESSENTIALS to Grow Your Marriage. We hope you will pick up a copy for yourself. (It’s available both electronically and in print form.) Plus, it can make a great gift for someone else. It gives you the opportunity to help them grow their marriage. And who doesn’t need that? Just click on the linked title or the picture below:
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