Random Words of Thanks

When was the last time you said random words of “thanks” to your spouse? Oh, we don’t mean saying thanks for passing the salt. It’s not even about saying, “Thanks” when they get something for you that you couldn’t get on your own. That’s nice; and that’s important but most people will do that.

We mean saying, “Thanks” for some of the things that your spouse does that could be overlooked. Just think about what they could be. We’re talking about random, every day (and often boring) stuff that a spouse does to improve your life together. And yet those things probably make your day a little brighter because they do it.

So, why not thank him or her? Why not give random words of thanks to your spouse for little (and sometimes big) everyday things that they do that makes your life a bit easier?

Giving Random Words of Thanks

Here in the United States, we’re celebrating a holiday called Thanksgiving. It’s a holiday dedicated to pausing and giving thanks to God and to others that have helped you.

Unfortunately, many people today forget or ignore the original reason why this celebration ever happened in the first place! Yes, it’s fun to have a day off where we get together with family and friends and enjoy eating a festive meal together! But the real reason behind it all is of utmost importance — to notice and give thanks for our blessings. Oh, how we pray we never forget!

And yet this morning during prayer time I (Cindy) realized that many of us also forget to say thanks —apart from this special holiday. We may not have “perfect” lives this side of heaven; and many of us live in very difficult situations. However, there’s always something for which, to give thanks. Things could always be much worse.

Random Words of Thanks are Overlooked Blessings

We’re told in the Bible in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 to, “Give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

That may be difficult at times, but there is always something, either apparent or hidden, for which we can be or will be thankful. We may not understand why God has allowed certain things to happen to us. But we need to trust His heart and trust that He will work good out of it. And for that, we can be thankful!

But it’s also important to express thankfulness to your spouse. You may have heard the term of performing “Random Acts of Kindness.” This means finding ways to bless others by intentionally doing something kind for them. It’s random because it’s done spontaneously (and is unexpected).

It may be taking them out to lunch or washing their car or filling their gas tank without being asked (like Steve did for me today). Or it may be tucking a little gift of money in a place where they will eventually find it with a note that says, “This is a little something for you to use. Enjoy!” Those are just a few examples of doing random acts of kindness for others.

But what about simply expressing to our spouse “Random Words of Thanks?” Gifts are nice, but so are gifts of random words of thanks.

Some examples of “Random Words of Thanks” would be to:

•  Thank them for getting up each morning to go to work. That may seem weird but there are many spouses who decide to be lazy. They don’t provide financially for their family, so they don’t roll out of bed to go to work. If your spouse does go to work, look for ways to express your thanks. (Or maybe your spouse is actively looking for a job to help support your family. That’s another reason to thank them. There is no law that says they have to do this.) This may surprise them, but tell them you appreciate their commitment in doing this.

•  Thank them for planning the meals, and shopping for the food. Thank them for the work they put in for preparing what you eat each day. Even if you helped in doing part of this, the initiative they showed in making sure everything was done should be appreciated. Some might say, “Well, this is all part of being married. This is what I expect!” The question is, “Why?” Where is it written in the marriage contract that they HAVE to do this?

Some spouses don’t and won’t do it. So, if your spouse does, then you are blessed, and it might be nice to let your spouse know that you appreciate it.

Also:

•  Thank them for being dependable and honorable. There are so many temptations presented in our world to act different than this. Plus, there are spouses who give in to the temptation to drink heavily, and/or take illegal drugs, and/or spend time in dishonorable places and situations.

If your spouse is dependable and mutually honors your marriage commitment, realize that you’re blessed to have a spouse who is a “Promise Keeper.” SO many spouses aren’t! They should be, but they aren’t. So, let them KNOW you realize it by thanking them.

•  Thank them for the little things they do that may have gone unnoticed in the past. These are things like: changing a light bulb when it’s burned out or taking out the garbage. It includes reading to the children (especially when it gives you time to yourself). How about thanking them for cleaning, dusting, vacuuming or sweeping, painting a room, gardening, and/or repairing something? You can also thank them for their purchasing food, and/or gifts for the family, and so much more — all without being asked to do so.

These are just a few things for which you can thank them. Now go ahead… think of others. And then express your thanks. Make each time you do this a time of “Thanks-GIVING,” not just “Thanks-BEING.” Being thankful is great. But we also need to also express it out loud. These are care packages for the heart that will bless your spouse.

Give Appreciation

We’ve known of marriages where the spouse has left the other for someone else because they said they felt unappreciated or taken for granted. Eventually they found someone else who lavished their appreciation upon them or have made them feel needed and “special” again.

We’re not saying this is right for them to have done this, because it is not in any way! But what we are saying is everyone wants to feel appreciated. And every marriage could use a little more loving care to make sure that each marital partner isn’t feeling neglected or taken for granted.

We didn’t take each other for granted before marriage, which helped us to fall in love with each other in the first place. But our needs don’t just go away because we place a wedding ring on our fingers. And they don’t go away because we sign a marriage contract. We need to be partners in ‘Thanks-GIVING” as well as “Thanks-BEING” before and especially after marrying.

Here’s the bottom line. Give thanks to God AND your spouse.

Do you express a heart of thanksgiving with your spouse? If not, then NOW is the time to begin! Remember:

“A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” (Proverbs 25:11)

Approach your marriage relationship with wisdom.

“By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established: by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.” (Proverbs 24:3-4)

Cindy and Steve Wright

— ADDITIONALLY —

To help you even further, we give a lot of personal stories, humor, and more practical tips in our book, 7 ESSENTIALS to Grow Your Marriage. We hope you will pick up a copy for yourself. (It’s available both electronically and in print form.) Plus, it can make a great gift for someone else. It gives you the opportunity to help them grow their marriage. And who doesn’t need that? Just click on the linked title or the picture below:

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