“Romantic”… what comes to mind when you hear that word? Is it candlelight dinners, midnight walks along a beach lit brightly by a full moon, snuggling in front of a roaring fireplace on a cold winter night, or maybe it’s just holding hands and walking and talking together without thinking about a care in the world!?!
I read a funny answer to that question in a Christianity Today article that one probably wouldn’t have expected. JoHannah Reardon wrote:
“One of the most romantic things my husband ever said to me was when I was puking my guts out after an airline flight. Feeling like the scum of the world, I apologized that I’d once again put a damper on our trip by getting airsick (for about the 3,000th time). His response? ‘You’re the bravest person I know.’ In that moment, I felt an ardent emotional attachment that was much greater than if he’d bought me 10 dozen roses and suitcases full of candy.” (From the article, “The Most Romantic Thing My Husband Ever Said to Me”)
That may sound weird, but actually, I agree. I’m not sure about “romantic” but it sure was heart-touching.
A Marriage That’s Romantic
Whatever “Romance” looks like to you, as a married couple, it’s important to MAKE the time to keep it as a vital part of your lives together —otherwise your love relationship could eventually become stale and rusty and could even fall apart out of sheer neglect.
After all, part of what helped you to fall in love with each other in the first place was the romance you experienced with each other —doing fun things together and enjoying each other’s company. And yet after the wedding we forget that. We get so caught up in the busyness and inertia of every day living that we forget to “romance” each other throughout the marriage. That can be a HUGE mistake!
“Few couples expect to maintain the intense, supercharged, adolescent-style relationship that marked the height of their courtship. In fact, most couples feel somewhat relieved when life begins to settle into a more normal routine and they can get about the tasks of real life again. But many marriages settle down too much.
“Within a few short years the sparkle has faded completely. Feelings have become mere memories. Romance has become something to read about in cheap novels. Spouses relate like roommates who share an occasional one-night stand. And together they face future years of disappointment and frustration” (Bill Hybels, from the workbook, Marriage… Building Real Intimacy).
Does that sound like any of the marriages you know? Has this been true of your marriage? Is your marriage settling down a little too much? Is the “sparkle” leaving your relationship? Or maybe it left a long time ago.
Mission of Igniting Sparkle
Whatever the case may be we hope you will ask God to help you with the important mission of keeping (or re-igniting and THEN keeping) the “sparkle” in your marital relationship. God, whose very name means LOVE, is ready to teach you what it will take to TRULY love your spouse. And what better way to honor God than to show love to your spouse in a romantic way!
To further help you in this vital mission, we have some WONDERFUL tools to help you. From the ministry of LifeWay.com, the following are additional ideas for you to consider. Even in the summer, there are great tips for you to use:
• TIPS TO WARM UP YOUR MARRIAGE
And then, the ministry of “The Romantic Vineyard” has some great tips for dates that you may be able to adapt to work for you and your spouse. Please read what they suggest. See if there’s anything you can use in your marriage, or adapt the ideas to work for you:
• ROMANTIC TIPS FOR WIVES ONLY
• ROMANTIC TIPS FOR HUSBANDS ONLY
The important thing is to do SOMETHING. Don’t “just settle.” Find ways to infuse laughter and fun into your married life together. By doing this, you continually infuse new life into your relationship. And those good memories help to carry you together through the more difficult times. ENJOY your life together… romance each other!
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this blog.
If you have additional tips you can share to help others please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
Filed under: Romantic Ideas
(NIGERIA) Going through Internet today and every other day, you get to read a lot of things that are threatening to marriage institutions. But thank God for yours. Couples throughout the Globes need this. May God continue to bless you for you to continue to bless the world. AMEN
(CAYMAN ISLANDS) I have been married for over 7 years now but, my husband is very jealous, angry and can become very abusive at times. His habits are becoming worst, like he searches my phone, he drives me wherever I go, he constantly tells me that I am having sex with someone else if their number is in my phone and he does not know them, even calling that individual late at night. If my car is having a problem and I find someone to fix it, he goes around saying I am sleeping with that person.
This is really getting to me and I am tired. I have always tried to stay honest in my marriage but recently I feel disrespected and abused; we still manage to have sex maybe twice per month but I am never happy when we do. I feel horrible, not that he does not perform well, it’s just that one feeling I can’t get out of my head “we don’t belong together.” I want my marriage to work because we still love each other and we have a 6 year old child that we adore but, now I am having second thoughs of having another relationship with someone else. I am feeling the need for romance, love, and care; I don’t know what to do? Can someone advise me before I make a bad mistake.
(UNITED STATES) I am sorry to hear what you have been going through. If you feel like your marriage is worth saving then I believe it is. It will be hard to convince your husband that you are faithful but with determination you can do it. He must have experienced something in his life to act that way toward you. Only you can break the cycle.
The only thing I don’t approve of is if he is putting his hands on you. Just keep reassuring him that you are faithful. It took seven years for my husband to realize how much I love him. I can truly say it was worth the wait.
(USA) Strong jealousy is usually a personality trait that doesn’t go away. You can’t convince him that it isn’t true. My ex wife had a personality disorder and was paranoid of vaccinations. She thought they were poison. There was no way to convince her otherwise.
Marriage is a equal partnership and if he refuses to treat you as a equal partner you should consider separation.
(UNITED STATES) Usually, when someone is accusing they are often the one’s doing the things they are accusing you of! I don’t agree with divorce except with infidelity.Your husband needs to focus more on God and getting stronger in his faith so that he will focus on God and not you. It is the stronger of the 2 to help the weakened one.
You may not see the reason you two are together but GOD see’s the whole picture. Your TEST will soon be your TESTIMONY. Please confide in our GOD and ask him to help you help him …be sincere and remember he has your best interest at heart …ALWAYS! Stay encouraged. He didn’t bring you this far to leave you! Praying for you sister in CHRIST.
Hey people, I am aged 28. Wow! I am in marriage for 1 year. I am facing a big problem. My wife is accusing me of having sex with other girls but speaking honestly I never cheated on her and I don’t have peace of mind; some people say I should divorce her. Please help and what can I do!
Boyd, what can you do? Well, first ask yourself: “why” would your wife suspect you of this? I would assume she has told you why she feels this is happening. Do you “innocently” flirt with other women? Do you tell your wife that you think other women are pretty? Do you hang around with attractive women where you work? Do you look at pornography? Has your wife ever caught you leering at other women and you told her, “It’s nothing?”
You don’t say if you and your wife are Christians, but because you came to a Christian web site on marriage I’m going to give you a Bible answer for what you can do. 1. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that the only way you can cheat on your wife is to have the physical act of sex with another woman. Jesus was very clear in Matthew 5:28, “But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” 1 Thessalonians 5:22, “Abstain from all appearance of evil.” So, if you can say I NEVER look at a woman with lust and I always abstain from even the appearance of evil, then you are better than 99% of of the men I know. That’s because almost every male (between the age of 12 and death) has struggled with these – including me. 2. If you want to convince your wife that you don’t cheat, the best way you can do that is by becoming a godly husband who is willing to sacrifice his wants, his needs for the good of your wife. Read Ephesians 5:25-33 that lays out the very clear Biblical path for a husband to follow if he wants to win the trust of his wife. 3. GET NEW FRIENDS!!! Believe me the people who tell you that you should divorce your wife over this AREN’T TRUE FRIENDS! You need to find some godly examples of marriage (if you aren’t in a good church – find one). These are people who are cheerleaders and want to help other married couples STAY married.
I encourage you to go back to our web site and go into the For Married Men section and start reading. You can came to this web site looking for something to help you and you entered through the article Romantic Tips for Husbands and Wives. Try going into this article: 100 Ways to Show Love to Your Wife HER Way. Print the list and take it to your wife and ask her to circle three things on that list that you could do for her for the next week that would mean the most to her feeling loved by you.
Boyd, I’m going to guess you haven’t had any older men in your life who served as good examples of what a godly husband looks like. By coming to our web site and reading articles and following links to other web sites you will gain an education. A WORD OF CAUTION: Don’t think for a second that a good marriage just comes naturally. After your first year you have enough evidence that it is going to take work and sacrifice if you are going to love your wife the way she really needs it…and hopefully she will begin to find out what it means to be a godly wife and to love you the way YOU need it.
I hope you have the guts and the character to do what’s necessary to turn this around, because now I’ve answered the question, “What can I do?” I pray God’s blessings for the both of you on your lifelong journey. Trust me, it’s worth everything I’ve said. ~Steve Wright, Marriage Missions International