SOUL MATES or SOLE MATES

Everywhere you look, people seem to be seeking their soul mates. But there are a lot of things to consider when it comes to the term, “soul mates.”

It’s important to ask yourself if there truly is a soul mate out there for every person; or is it just a man-made term? Here’s what Gary Thomas says about this:

“Our culture has embraced a rather absurd notion that there is just one person who can, in the words immortalized by Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire, ‘complete us.’ This is a disastrous mindset with which to approach a lifelong marital decision.”

Here’s something to consider: Just because we walk through parts of our lives together, it doesn’t mean our souls are destined to be knit together for the rest of our lives. Being mates that are knitted together in our souls is more about MAKING our lives work together, than it is just thinking that destiny makes it work.

Want to learn more? Author Gary Thomas has a lot of interesting things to read on this subject. Please read this Boundless.org article:

• SOUL MATES OR SOLE MATES

Are There Soul Mates?

Here’s someone else’s take (from the Crosswalk.com article, “Do You Believe in Soul Mates?”) on this subject:

“I’m not sure the term soul mates is accurate in a biblical sense. Actually, I think this whole concept is worldly romantic baloney packaged as spiritually connected predestination.

“I have yet to find a passage in the Bible that hints at or promises a soulmate. It’s one thing to believe God will help you discern and choose a person who will complement your weaknesses and strengths in serving him. But it’s something else altogether to believe God has chosen one person out of the whole planet that only you can marry and serve him with.

“Two becoming one is the goal and a process. Adam and Eve were soulmates. Everyone after that has been by choice, convenience, family obligation, religious yoking, or some other reason.”

Marriage experts Edward Tauber and Jim Smoke talk more on this point.

They write:

“If you think there is only one person out there who is the right one for you, you are vulnerable to marry when you think you have found that person. There is much evidence that there are likely many people in the world who would make an acceptable mate for you. The risk of thinking otherwise is that when you believe you have found ‘the one,’ you abandon all sensibility. You are then driven to marry that person. Some people believe in soul mates because of their divorce experience. It didn’t work with my ex because he was the ‘wrong one.’ Now I will go and find the right one, who will be the opposite of my ex.”

They build a pretty good case in their Crosswalk.com article, that I recommend you read:

• MARRYING YOUR SOUL MATE: Does Such a Person Exist?

More on the soul mates issue:

“The root question is: Is there a predestined man for me, or do I just get to choose from the possibilities that come my way? I’m spinning my wheels trying to figure this out. That is because if there is a ‘one’ for me no matter what I do I can’t do anything to make it happen. And if it is a matter of just making a good choice on someone who happens along, then I am terrified that I’ll make more bad choices. I just can’t seem to settle this in my head to the satisfaction of my biological clock. And if prayer really changes things, why hasn’t it changed my singleness to married-ness?

“I’m scared, and God is so silent.”

Another Way of Looking At It:

The following article, written by Candace Walters, on the Boundless.org web site, gives another way to look at the above “root question”:

• IS THERE ONE FOR ME?

On this same matter, consider these words proposed by counselor, author and husband, Tim Alan Gardner:

“A soul mate isn’t something you find; a soul mate is someone you intentionally and prayerfully become.”

And to that, I say, Amen!

Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this article.

If you have additional tips to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.

Print Post