5 responses to “Survived an Affair – Cheryl and Jeff Scruggs”
(KENYA) I needed to hear this for I am preaching this coming Sunday on till death do us part. I needed this for myself and for my ministry so that those of us who think they stand should be careful lest they fall to Satan’s foolish parallel programs.
Hi Fred, So you and others better understand what caused the divorce, I found the “full version” of the Youtube video (which you can now view) and switched it out. Thanks for pointing it out that the first version didn’t give any background.
Obviously, what started out as someone “sharing marriage problems” with Cheryl and her relating to what he was telling her, it spiraled down into a full blown affair and eventual divorce. It shows the importance of guarding our hearts when we’re feeling disconnected from our spouse in some way and being careful of who we share our problems with. Thankfully, the Lord helped them to redeem that which looked as if it was permanently destroyed.
I am reading “I DO AGAIN” and Jeff & Cherry suggests young couples get a mature couple to mentor them. My wife chose to dismiss our 50th anniversary celebration to attend a Sunday school class member’s birthday party that she did not know about until the day of our anniversary. I have been asked numerous times over the years how to have a long, successful marriage and I gave advice. I now know how to have a long marriage, but not a successful marriage. We have been active in church activities our entire marriage. Anything can happen to anyone at anytime.
I have nothing for or against these two and their life choices. I’m merely making an observation. In every single ‘reconciliation’ after an affair story, I hear an unfortunate line from the poor sucker who was cheated on. “I had to face the things I needed to change”…wwwwwhhhaaaattttt? Since when does the person who is beaten have to become a better punching bag? Since when does a victim of rape have to wear more appropriate clothing? Mr. Scruggs may or may not have been the perfect husband, but that has nothing to do with her cheating and her divorcing him.
I’ve noticed there’s a whole, “he had to get over his anger” approach to this thing which is just bizarre to me. The excuse is because he was having a hard time forgiving, they couldn’t reconcile. Again, wwwhaaattttt??? He wouldn’t have had anger if she wasn’t cheating. Do we say to families of murder victims, “hey, I know he killed your family member, but your dislike of him is what’s holding us back from putting him in prison????” No. I’ve yet to see a reconciliation story where the cheater has to own what they did and the faithful spouse continues to be who they are.
It’s always ‘change for the cheater’. She was dissatisfied, right? Cool. Ask for counseling. Ask for a prayer meeting. Don’t cheat and leave your family. She knew who and what she was marrying, it’s not on him to magically change for her. Yet he did, which of course says a heck of a lot more about him than anything else. It’s nice they have resolved this and managed to get over it. She had her fun, she hurt her family, I just do not, nor will I ever, understand why HE had to change. Sounds to me like all the change really should have happened from her perspective. Not from his. My opinion though. Good luck to them and anyone else with this issue.
(KENYA) I needed to hear this for I am preaching this coming Sunday on till death do us part. I needed this for myself and for my ministry so that those of us who think they stand should be careful lest they fall to Satan’s foolish parallel programs.
(CANADA) This is a very touching piece of video…. but it doesn’t say why they got divorced initially. What was the issue?
Hi Fred, So you and others better understand what caused the divorce, I found the “full version” of the Youtube video (which you can now view) and switched it out. Thanks for pointing it out that the first version didn’t give any background.
Obviously, what started out as someone “sharing marriage problems” with Cheryl and her relating to what he was telling her, it spiraled down into a full blown affair and eventual divorce. It shows the importance of guarding our hearts when we’re feeling disconnected from our spouse in some way and being careful of who we share our problems with. Thankfully, the Lord helped them to redeem that which looked as if it was permanently destroyed.
I am reading “I DO AGAIN” and Jeff & Cherry suggests young couples get a mature couple to mentor them. My wife chose to dismiss our 50th anniversary celebration to attend a Sunday school class member’s birthday party that she did not know about until the day of our anniversary. I have been asked numerous times over the years how to have a long, successful marriage and I gave advice. I now know how to have a long marriage, but not a successful marriage. We have been active in church activities our entire marriage. Anything can happen to anyone at anytime.
I have nothing for or against these two and their life choices. I’m merely making an observation. In every single ‘reconciliation’ after an affair story, I hear an unfortunate line from the poor sucker who was cheated on. “I had to face the things I needed to change”…wwwwwhhhaaaattttt? Since when does the person who is beaten have to become a better punching bag? Since when does a victim of rape have to wear more appropriate clothing? Mr. Scruggs may or may not have been the perfect husband, but that has nothing to do with her cheating and her divorcing him.
I’ve noticed there’s a whole, “he had to get over his anger” approach to this thing which is just bizarre to me. The excuse is because he was having a hard time forgiving, they couldn’t reconcile. Again, wwwhaaattttt??? He wouldn’t have had anger if she wasn’t cheating. Do we say to families of murder victims, “hey, I know he killed your family member, but your dislike of him is what’s holding us back from putting him in prison????” No. I’ve yet to see a reconciliation story where the cheater has to own what they did and the faithful spouse continues to be who they are.
It’s always ‘change for the cheater’. She was dissatisfied, right? Cool. Ask for counseling. Ask for a prayer meeting. Don’t cheat and leave your family. She knew who and what she was marrying, it’s not on him to magically change for her. Yet he did, which of course says a heck of a lot more about him than anything else. It’s nice they have resolved this and managed to get over it. She had her fun, she hurt her family, I just do not, nor will I ever, understand why HE had to change. Sounds to me like all the change really should have happened from her perspective. Not from his. My opinion though. Good luck to them and anyone else with this issue.