The following are a number of quotes that Marriage Missions International individually sent out and then posted on our Twitter site as marriage tips, which can still be used in a variety of ways:
• A church, ministry, counseling organization, or an individual can use them to share, if desired.
• They can be used as points of discussion in marriage classes, mentoring, counseling, or coaching situations.
• Couples or individuals can use these quotes to discuss or consider the issues raised, allowing the Holy Spirit, our Wonderful Counselor, to speak further to them.
They make great discussion points for those couples who want to use them for conversation starters for a 22 Minute Date (the guidelines are posted in the Romantic Idea topic). Just make sure, if you use these quotes in a dating situation, you don’t get into heated arguments over them.
The point in sharing these marriage tips is to build marital relationship bridges, not construct walls of contention, causing a breakdown of communication. You can constructively disagree with these tips and with each other, and still learn more about each other and grow closer together, in the process.
It is our sincere hope that the tips below will help marriages. As you read them, consider:
1. Do you agree or disagree? Why or why not?
2. Do you have further thoughts on the issue, to apply personally or as a general rule? (If you’re reading them with someone else, please share.)
3. Do any scriptures come to mind, which apply to the marriage tip given? (If possible, please share.)
The following are quotes to note for your use (each quote stands on its own —for your knowledge, the original sources are noted afterward in parenthesis):
Be pro-active! “Create an environment where love can flourish. Create the time & space, as well as the intentionality, for love to blossom.” (Dr. David B. Hawkins, Crosswalk.com article, “New Decade, Renewed Marriage”)
Do not withhold good to those to whom it is due, when it is in the power of your hand to do so -Prov. 3:27. Lavish your spouse with love!
“You can’t ignore your finances & you can’t ignore your marriage. Both require continuous cultivation or weeds & decay are inevitable.” (Tom and Debi, The Romantic Vineyard, article, “10 Hindrances to Cultivating a Romantic Vineyard,” posted on Theromanticvineyard.com, Feb. 10, 2011)
“Marriages don’t collapse overnight. They become bankrupt gradually because they lack daily deposits of love, communication & affirmation.” (Doug Fields)
“Marriage is like a long trip in a rowboat. If one passenger rocks the boat, the other has to steady it; or they’ll both go down together.” (Actual quote: A marriage is like a long trip in a tiny rowboat. If one passenger starts to rock the boat, the other has to steady it; otherwise they’ll both go to the bottom together. -David Reuben)
“The issue is not whether we ever argue with each other, but if we’ll allow God to keep our hearts soft toward each other as we disagree.” (Quote: Bob & Cheryl Moeller, from “The Marriage Miracle,” pg. 208)
“What would happen in our relationship if we elect to tickle our spouse’s funny bone instead of feeding our anger when accidents happen?” (Lynn, from Spiritually Unequal Marriage e-message)
If one considers himself religious & does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself & his religion is worthless -James 1:26. (Actual quote: If anyone considers himself religious & yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself & his religion is worthless -James 1:26.)
“Listen with an open heart, hearing what is there rather than what you want to hear. Listen for what is NOT being said.” The wise listen. (Quote by Dr David Hawkins)
“In communication you have to hear what your spouse is not saying. This helps you address the root and not the shoot.” -Eye2eyemarriage
“Pray for your pastors’ marriage. They are better able to minister to marriages & families when they are not in threat of losing their own.” (Quote from: http://twitter.com/#!/ThePureBed)
“Fidelity isn’t JUST not having sex outside marriage. It’s a suite of intentional efforts to protect & to promote a marriage’s integrity.” (Quote from: http://twitter.com/#!/ThePureBed)
“Having a strong marriage demands we TAKE time for each other when we can’t FIND time. Priorities require & inspire sacrifice.” -TPB (Quote from: http://twitter.com/#!/ThePureBed)
“Beware of putting yourself in situations where you are tempted to shirk the fidelity promises you made to your mate.” (Marriage Works, found at: http://twitter.com/#%21/mrgwrks)
“Couples, words are tools to build or slay. They heal or harm, pray or prey. They promote a fall or light a way. Use words wisely everyday.” (Quote from: http://twitter.com/#!/ThePureBed)
“Take one hour on your anniversary each year to dream together …Even one hour increases marital longevity and happiness.” (Actual quote: “A recent national radio spot suggested couples take one hour on their anniversary each year to dream together. According to this marriage expert, even one hour increases marital longevity and happiness. Dreaming together deepens the spirit of partnership. -Renee Sanford -from Kyria.com article, “A Team of Two”)
“God uses his Word to bring insights about true love & marriage. One verse is 1 Corinthians 13:5, “Love does not demand on its own way.” (Elaine Creasman, from Kyria.com article “5 Keys to Staying Married”)
“Courageously avoid people whose intent is to fracture your marriage” –Marriage Works. “A perverse man stirs up dissension…” -Prov. 16:28 (Quote from: Marriage Works, found at: http://twitter.com/#%21/mrgwrks)
“Whenever we allow sin to rearrange the order of God & rest in it, we’re telling God “I’ll do things my way instead of the way you told me.” (Bob Coy)
“A crisis does not have to undermine a marriage. Don’t let the heartaches of life pull your marriage apart.” Choose to unite & not to fight. (Quote from Dr Steve Stephens)
“In marriage, winning arguments is counter-productive. If one wins, then each loses. Seek solutions that honor both points of view.” –E2EM (http://twitter.com/#!/Eye2eyemarriage)
We’re to be conformed to the image of Christ & Christ is to be formed in us. The results should be evident in the marriage relationship. (Actual quote: “Scripture says we’re to be conformed to the image of Christ (Romans 8:29) and Christ is to be formed in us (Gal. 4:19). The results should be evident in the marriage relationship.” -N. Wright -from book, “One Marriage Under God” page 26)
“Sow love when your spouse sows evil. Yes, easier said than done, yet doable through Christ’s power.” “I can do all things thru Christ.” (Quote from: Marriage Works: http://twitter.com/#%21/mrgwrks)
“The entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: ‘Love your neighbor [especially your spouse] as yourself.‘” -Galatians 5:14
“Abraham & Sarah’s marriage shows we can recover from failure in our marriage to see great success. God wants His promises fulfilled in us.” (Quote from: http://twitter.com/#!/ThePureBed)
Financially: “Couples who look to each other for accountability & support will reap the benefits of increased intimacy & wealth.” –D. Ramsey (Dave Ramsey, Focusonthefamily.com article, “Money Talk: The You in Unity is Silent,”)
“Marriage is like a garden: Killing weeds (problems) when they are small is much easier.” -TMB Tend to your garden TODAY, rather than later. (Quote from: The Marriage Bed)
“It is possible to make an idol out of your relationship. Guard the supremacy Christ rightfully holds in your marriage. It is all for HIM.” (Debi, from Theromanticvineyard.com)
Good marriage boundary: “When sending personal emails to the opposite sex (non family), CC your spouse.” -Tip from Marriagefire.com
Be pro-active: “Never stop saying, ‘I love you.’ The words ‘I love you’ never grows old—your wife or husband needs to hear them regularly.” (Sabrina Beasley, Familylife.com article: 10 Ideas: Surprising Ways to Increase Romance”)
In your marital relationship, remember: “Love always does what is best for others. And can empower us to face the greatest problems.” (Book: The Love Dare)
“For a week (or a month), instead of praying, Lord, please change my spouse,’ pray instead, ‘Lord, please change me.’ It’s an eye opener.” (Lori, from The Generous Wife)
Marriage is an intertwining of two hearts and two lives, along with God’s, so we can help each other live up to our full potential. –CW
“Be careful to protect your mind from the wrong stuff. Put the right things in your mind. Protect it. Shield it from the bad influences.” (Mitch Temple, from Focusonthefamily.com article, “Change Your Mind, Change Your Marriage”)
“Keeping sparks kindled in your marriage means keeping the wrong sparks out of your marriage—the ones that can engulf you into an affair.” (Laurie Lowe, from Lifegems4marriage.com article, “Arnold’s Last Marriage Lesson?”)
“Understand that the enemy is anxious to see marriages fail, especially among Christians. Obeying God’s Word is our best weapon.” (Original quote: We need to understand that the devil is very anxious to see marriages fail, especially among Christians. Verses like these are meant for the tough times, and obeying God’s instructions is our best weapon. -JB & Shugie Collingsworth, from Lifeway.com article, “Doing the Right Thing”)
When you encounter a tough situation in your marriage, take authority over it with prayer in Jesus’ name to release God’s power to work.” (Original quote: “Whenever you encounter a tough situation in your marriage, take authority over it with prayer in Jesus’ name to release God’s power to work in both you and your spouse’s lives.” -Stormie Omartian, from Crosswalk.com article, Transform Your Marriage through the Power of Prayer”)
“People tend to do better when encouraged vs. criticized. Give your spouse something to live up to (vs. down to).” –Marriage Works! (Found at: http://twitter.com/#%21/mrgwrks)
In good marriages: “The partners are devoted to each other, but they also have a commitment to something higher than themselves.” (Cecil Murphey, from Kyria.com article, “Seeing the Sacred”)
“Please don’t compare your marriage to others and say “I’m OK”. Societies expectations are extremely low compared to God’s. Seek to Grow!” (http://twitter.com/#!/Eye2eyemarriage)
“Identify the condition of your marriage, determine what you want to change, & set goals for your relationship. It begins with you!” (Dr. David B. Hawkins, from Crosswalk.com article, “New Decade, Renewed Marriage”)
The earlier you train to spend regular time together, the easier & more effective you’ll be when future stealers of your couple time arrive. (Tim A Gardner, Kyria.com from article, “How to Spend Time Together”)
“Treat your spouse as if they are one of a kind and show them that you value their interest even above your own.” See: Philippians 2:3-4 (http://twitter.com/#!/Eye2eyemarriage)
With your spouse, if needed: “Bring back physical affection. Reach out & touch each other affectionately. Hold hands. Share kisses & hugs.” (Whitney Hopler, from Crosswalk.com article, “Create a New Marriage …with Your Same Spouse,”)
“As winds & sea waves, trees & bluejays join in Godly praise, so a marriage is right when mates unite to exalt the Ancient of Days -Dan 7:9″ (Quote from: http://twitter.com/#!/ThePureBed)
“It’s important to feed your mind positive marriage messages to combat the negative messages you’re fed from society.” -MW! (Marriage Works, found at: http://twitter.com/#%21/mrgwrks)
“Dream together, share your thoughts. If your spouse is distracted, then ask him or her to carve out 10-15 minutes just to catch up.” (Sabrina Beasley, Familylife.com article, “10 Ideas: Surprising Ways to Increase Romance”)
“Be encouraged in your marriage, and know that ‘God is not unjust to forget your work & labor of love.’” -Heb 6:10 (Marriage Works, found at: http://twitter.com/#%21/mrgwrks)
“Being a supportive mate may help us in our cause to be more supported by our mate. A seed produces its kind. Do unto others…” –TPB (Quote from: http://twitter.com/#!/ThePureBed)
In marriage: “Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.” -Galatians 5:26
“Place your marriage in an environment where it can grow: Good church, Godly friendships, Supportive family.” Most importantly: God’s hands! (Quote from: http://twitter.com/#!/Eye2eyemarriage)
It’s important that your kids see you model a good marriage for them, “so that they know what kind of marriage they want for themselves.”
“Where there is no vision, the people perish. Can we also say that where there is no vision, the marriage perishes?” Dream & plan together. (Quote from: http://twitter.com/#!/Eye2eyemarriage)
“Driving along a cliff is hard to do going in reverse. In other words, don’t bring up past marital issues while trying to resolve new ones.” (Rob Jackson, from Focusonthefamily.com article, “Talking About Sensitive Issues”)
“Don’t let the enemy’s plan, cause strife in your marriage. Ask God to help you settle disagreements in healthy, productive, & loving ways.” (Original quote: “Don’t let Satan’s plan to cause strife in your marriage through miscommunication succeed. Ask God to help you both settle disagreements in healthy, productive, and loving ways.” -Stormie Omartian, from Crosswalk.com article, “Transform Your Marriage through the Power of Prayer”)
“Choose to answer God’s call to forgive –no matter what your feelings. Trust God to help you forgive & give you fresh love for your spouse.” (Original quote: “Choose to answer God’s call to forgive — no matter what your feelings —and trust God to help you forgive and give you fresh love for your spouse in the process. Ask God to help you love the way He does, so you can be cleansed from all unrighteousness.” -Stormie Omartian, from Crosswalk.com article, “Transform Your Marriage through the Power of Prayer”)
“Though you come from generations of failed marriages, you needn’t repeat the cycle. End it! Ask God for wisdom. Then, use it.” -TPB (Quote from: http://twitter.com/#!/ThePureBed)
“Your agenda should be to please God. If that’s your goal, you won’t hesitate to confront an issue that tears your spouse away from Him.” (Rob Jackson, from Focusonthefamily.com article, “Talking About Sensitive Issues”)
“Do right to your spouse. Give your best and not your leftovers. Whatever you sow, you will also reap.” Live marriage GOD’S way! (Quote from: http://twitter.com/#!/Eye2eyemarriage)
“Too many spouses tell friends and families what they should be telling their mate. Working marriages have communication.” -MW (Marriage Works)
“Often, it isn’t WHAT but HOW we speak that escalates a couple’s conflict. Tones detected count as much as words selected. Be kind -Pr 15:1” (Quote from: http://twitter.com/#!/ThePureBed)
“Give a little praise. Your mate’s good qualities will stand out + your spouse’s heart grows larger towards u as he/she feels appreciated.” (Sabrina Beasley, Familylife.com article, “10 Ideas: Surprising Ways to Increase Romance”)
In your relationship: “Some of the pressure we feel is God allowing circumstances to purify our motives until our plans & His will align.” (http://twitter.com/#!/Eye2eyemarriage)
In marriage: “As God points out our wrong attitudes or hurtful words, we can confess & repent on the spot.” As GOD leads, abandon pride. (Quote: Bob & Cheryl Moeller, from book, “The Marriage Miracle”, pg. 208)
“It’s typical that after you finish blaming everyone else for how you feel, you realize your heart is the source of the problem.” -J Hill (http://twitter.com/#!/Eye2eyemarriage)
“Building a strong marriage is difficult because it forces us to face our own worst enemy, our own selfishness.” -K. Colonel (Kentucky Colonel, from Agrownupmarriage.com article, “What Did You Expect?”)
Beware of dumping. “To simply relieve yourself of stored up feelings is not the best communication. The Bible says, ‘a fool utters all…'” (Quote from: http://twitter.com/#!/Eye2eyemarriage)
“Check your expectations. It isn’t fair to create unspoken expectations for your spouse & then get annoyed when they aren’t followed.” (Sabrina Beasley, Familylife.com article: 10 Ideas: Surprising Ways to Increase Romance”)
“Logic: God created people. God created marriage. We need to rely on God for people and marriage to work right.” -Eye2eyemarriage
“Laugh together. Marriage isn’t a business deal. U have the opportunity to be best friends if you’re willing to invest in the relationship.” (Sabrina Beasley, Familylife.com article: 10 Ideas: Surprising Ways to Increase Romance”)
“Give yourself fully & completely to your spouse. Marriage is not a ’50-50’ situation, but ‘100-100’ – each gives ‘all’ to the other.” (http://twitter.com/#!/Eye2eyemarriage)
“Bringing up dirt from the past that has already been resolved or supposedly forgiven, will keep your marriage from working.” –MW! (Marriage Works!)
“If the walls of our homes could speak would they cry hypocrite or genuine? Within the answer is the gauge of your integrity.” (http://twitter.com/#!/Eye2eyemarriage)
“Don’t mistake sex for intimacy. If closeness in your marriage occurs ONLY during sex, you are likely intimacy-deficient.” -TPB (Thepurebed.com)
“Marriage takes faith. You’re believing that God will take care of you as you selflessly serve & honor your spouse.” (Marriage Works, found at: http://twitter.com/#%21/mrgwrks)
It’s not only important “to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”
“Never say the word ‘divorce.’ This threat only plants seeds of fear & mistrust in your marriage, which can lead to bitterness & isolation.” (Sabrina Beasley, Familylife.com article: 10 Ideas: Surprising Ways to Increase Romance”)
“Be careful your parent isn’t sowing discord in your marriage. This easily happens when we don’t leave & cleave, as ordained. -Gen. 2:23-24” (Quote from: http://twitter.com/#!/ThePureBed)
In your marriage relationship: When you 1st realize you aren’t acting, as you should, STOP & apologize. Don’t keep adding fuel to the fire.
“Couples need to have a plan in place to disengage when emotions are heated & to re-engage their discussion within a reasonable time frame.” (Val Farmer, Marriage.com.au article, “Ten Ways to Have a Really Great Marriage”)
“A thriving marriage strengthens other marriages. Conquer your challenges and tell and show others what great things God has done.” (http://twitter.com/#!/Eye2eyemarriage)
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