This is a question we hope you can answer to help other couples who may be struggling in this area in their marriage. It concerns how to show love. So we ask you:
WHAT ARE SOME WAYS YOU SHOW LOVE TO YOUR SPOUSE?
Please answer this question by leaving a comment below
(To see previous questions, visit our archive)
Filed under: Question of the Month
(USA (TUCSON)) I show my husband I love him intentional; by having a date once a week (our time with no kids or interruptions), serving him tea when he comes in the door, sending him notes in his lunch and just calling him to let him know that I was thinking of him. We have a great relationship and friendship!
(USA) To really listen when she talks is one way I show love to my wife. Not to impatiently plan what I want to say next while she is talking, but to wait ten seconds or so to be sure she is done communicating the depth of what was on her heart, before I open my mouth. This does not always happen, of course, but is something to strive for.
(SOUTH AFRICA) One way of demostrating love is to forgive and not count how many times you have forgiven.
(USA) Sorry about the vagueness: (1) my wife is treasure immeasurable, (2) together, we {try to} find the adventure in everything, (3) we {try to} hold hands as if our lives depended on it.
(SOUTH AFRICA) I have been married for three years and I love my husband to bits. In the 5 languages of love he is a gift kind of person – he feels appreciated and loved when I buy him gifts, so I am making a point of it to get him small treats for his everyday doings. I will run a bath for him and tell him how much I appreciate him. I will help him around the house when he is busy working… in short there is very little that I will not do for him to show my respect, love and devotion. The sad thing is just that unfortunately he started taking all of this for granted and is not appreciating any of this. I will not give up on this marriage and I believe with my whole heart that God will guide us where guidance is needed. Take care.
(USA) My Valentine’s Day realization was that I needed to do something to express daily my appreciation and recognition of the actions and qualities I appreciate about my husband. I have done this through a daily blog at http://www.lovingyoutoday.blogspot.com This will be helpful to me on those days I feel under appreciated. I can look at these entries and be reminded of everything I love about the wonderful man I married.
(USA) Here are seven biggies I’ve learned over the years…
1. Do something for her that shows her she is thought of but without it being something routine or something she had to tell me about. Have to keep it interesting. Sometimes routines are endearing, like when a husband always orders for his wife at dinner, but my wife needs routines and more.
2. Take the time with her to give her affection and physical and sexual intimacy. When I really do this regularly, when I pursue her in this way on a regular basis, she is much happier and we are much closer. Emotional intimacy becomes more effortless and enjoyable, as well.
3. Brag about her to others while she is there or when I know she will hear about it… and do it even when she may never hear about it.
4. Be honest and transparent. This is me giving myself to her as I am. It’s not a perfect gift :), but it is a gift she loves, and it builds so much closeness between us. When there are things I’m hiding or that I’m building up inside me, she can see it on me a mile away. She wants to know I’m connected to her.
5. Listen to her without trying to fix her. Huge. Enough said.
6. Include her in what’s going on. When I get a card from my sister or had an uncomfortable talk with my boss… she wants to be included. So, I try to include her.
7. Take responsibility for something. There are few things that stress her out more than making her feel like her husband doesn’t take care of her. Conversely, when I step up and take care of things, especially without dilly-dallying when it comes to making a decision, it makes her feel safe and cared for.
I’ll also throw in one I was reminded of recently: Never go to get something out of your wife’s purse! Respect her personal, private space. She’ll love you for it!
(REP. OF SOUTH AFRICA) I have a man who is not interested in things that I love. Whenever I try to involve him he refuses and that’s it. He prefers doing things with his friends than me and the kids. I love him so much and since last year I learned that he has been unfaithful to me and that when I was 6 months pregnant with our first child in 2010 he impregnated somebody else. They have a son together the child was born April 2011.
I’ve been very supportive since he broke the news last year June but he wouldn’t share anything with me. I’m trying hard to deal with it but it’s really hard because it’s like I’m the only one who want our marriage to work. He told me that he’s done doing whatever he was doing but his actions tell a different story, very cagey and secretive with his cellphone; he’ll never leave it with me for more than 5 minutes. He’s forever chatting with different women, flirting with them and all, exchanging semi nude pics.
I know all of this because I once got desperate and went through his phone! I want to move away from what has happened a be a happy wife again but trust has gone and he’s not working towards regaining it. How do we move past all of this that had happened?