My ears perked up when I heard her say, “We just celebrated our 55th anniversary and you know how we got here?” I was compelled to listen intently. I knew wisdom would be on her lips. Charlotte loves Jesus. Her husband, Rocko, loves him too. They both serve our church in countless ways, and she encourages my walk with The Lord every Sunday morning —this past Sunday was no exception.
I sat down and said, “So, tell me how did you manage to make it to 55 years together?”
Wisdom from 55 Years Experience
“You know Debi, when we got married Rocko was a different man. I loved him, but he changed. Then I learned to love who he had become. And he did the same for me.
“There were times when I didn’t think we would last. There were times when I knew we would last. And there were times when I hoped we wouldn’t last! But God helped us make the necessary changes during all those seasons. And here we are.”
I knew in that moment that her words were needed nuggets of wisdom for all marriages to hear.
Wisdom from Seasons of Marriage
How often do we go through similar seasons in our own marriage —times where it’s so good you have no doubt that your relationship will stand the test of time? Times where the future seems uncertain and you’re tempted to fear? Times where the conflict or hurt is so deep and so painful you hope it won’t last? The third one is probably the one that is most surprising. But it’s true.
Marriage that is good isn’t always on the mountain-top of marital bliss.
In fact, a good marriage faces some of the fiercest storms and comes out on the other side stronger and more in love than it ever was before. But those who quit in the storm miss this very important secret. Perseverance through the rough times is worth it —it’s a transition —like giving birth to something new.
Wisdom on Display
Finally, I asked Charlotte what she thought was the secret to a lasting marriage. She said without hesitating, “Rock is the most unselfish man I have ever known.”
Such wisdom on display, and so simple. If we want our marriage to grow stronger as the years pass, we must stay the course no matter what our feelings scream at us. And we must love our spouse unselfishly. We must put their wants, needs and desires above our own.
And there’s no better time to start than today. What is one thing you can do for your spouse right now that is an unselfish way to love and care for them?
This blog is written by Debi Walter of Theromanticvineyard.com web site. This is a ministry with “A Rich Harvest of Ideas to Help Your Marriage Grow.” We encourage you to visit The Romantic Vineyard often. Debi and her husband Tom (a wonderful couple and dear friends of ours) see it as their mission to help nurture and enrich marriages. They also infuse them with love and laughter! You won’t want to miss the great info they share, which can help you in your marriage.
Filed under: Marriage Blog