The following are Web Site Links and descriptions for various resources for those of you who are looking for communication tools. We pray they will be of help to your marital relationship.
• Focusonthefamily.com This is the web site for the great ministry of Focus on the Family. One of the many features of this web site can be found when you place your cursor over the top bar that says “Relationship and Marriage.” A drop-down box will show up and you can select a topic which will give you a number of articles to read. You can also select “Communication/Conflict.”
• Feeling Words Are you experiencing an emotion that you want to describe to your spouse but you don’t know the right word to describe it? This link provides a long list of words, composed by Steve Hein, which you can use for this purpose. Through this link, Steve also provides a way for you to purchase a more extensive list if that is what you need. Plus there is a list of “Common Negative Feelings “ that you can read through, to help you to better express yourself.
• Realrelationships.com This is the web site for Dr Les and Dr Leslie Parrott who are a husband-and-wife team who not only share the same name, but the same passion for helping others build healthy relationships. The Parrotts founded the Center for Relationship Development on the campus of Seattle Pacific University — a groundbreaking program dedicated to teaching the basics of good relationships. Their web site has free videos that you can view on your computer which gives relationship advice on many different subjects you will deal with in your married lives together including “Communication” and also “Conflict Resolution” as well as a drop down box on the top bar of their home page which has “Assessments” that you can use with their resources. We highly advise that you visit their web site to see what they can offer you.
• RETROUVAILLE (meaning, “rediscovery” and rhymes with pie), Retrouvaille.org. This is a program for couples with serious problems who are disillusioned, separated and/or on the brink of divorce. You’ll be helped by volunteer couples who have also “been to the brink” — who have experienced serious problems including affairs, alcoholism, gambling, violence, etc. or who have simply fallen out of love— but who have worked their way back. They’ll teach you how to fall back in love again and heal your own marriage and make it stronger than ever before. This successful program (85% when both partners work at it) teaches simple techniques of communication and exercises to work on forgiveness, healing, and restoration of trust.
The program begins with a weekend and includes 12 follow-up meetings over 3 months. These are not spiritual retreats, sensitivity groups, seminars or social gatherings — there are no counselors involved and you don’t have to say anything in front of anyone else. Couples discuss the topics and practice the skills in private. It has a blank envelope-donation system and is open to couples of all faiths and to the non-religious. They also have an international division which gives sessions in different countries such as Canada and South Africa, etc.
• 201 Great Questions -Compiled by Jerry Jones, published by NavPress. Whether you’re traveling with family, eating lunch with a friend, or getting together with a small group this book is one you’ll want. You’ll have the time of your life learning more about people you thought you knew—particularly your spouse.
• Cracking the Communication Code Workbook: The Secret to Speaking Your Mate’s Language -written by Emerson Eggerichs, published by Thomas Nelson Publishing. This book is founded on the principle that communication between couples has been dissected in thousands of books and articles, and yet why does it remain the number one marriage problem? “Because,” says Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, “most spouses don’t know that they speak two different languages. They are sending each other messages in ‘code,’ but they won’t crack that code until they see that she listens to hear the language of love and he listens to hear the language of respect.” Dr. Eggerichs’ best-selling book, Love and Respect, launched a revolution in how couples relate to each other based on Ephesians 5:33: “The husband must love his wife . . . and the wife must respect her husband.” In Cracking the Communication Code he shows couples how to speak each other’s distinctly different language-respect for him, love for her. The result is mutual understanding and a successful, godly marriage.
• Foolproofing Your Life: How to Deal Effectively with the Impossible People in Your Life -written by Jan Silvious, published by WaterBrook. This is a book to help you deal with difficult people. “In dealing with such people, we often try a number of coping strategies. Unfortunately, our best attempts at making peace often fail. This is because the difficult people in our lives are often what the Bible calls ‘fools.’ And dealing with fools requires a special kind of biblical wisdom. You’ve tried everything –from confrontation to passivity. You’ve found out what doesn’t work; now discover what does. Gain the tools you need to get along with others and conduct your relationships in a manner that honors God and preserves your sanity!
• How to Get Your Husband to Talk to You -written by Nancy Cobb and Connie Grigsby, published by Multnomah. This book is about what a wife “can do and say and think and change that will create an inviting climate for warm conversation.” It “is fun and practical —an easy-to-read primer of sorts that will help you resolve the age-old mystery of communication between the sexes. You can open this book to any section and pick up a tip or two that can encourage your husband to talk to you. So whether you have lots of time to read or just a few minutes a week, you’ll find this book helpful.
• Love & Respect –written by Dr Emerson Eggerichs, a Focus on the Family Book, published by Integrity Publishers. This is a marriage book that makes a difference! It delivers a revolutionary message. People are saying about this book: “I’ve been married 35 years and have not heard this taught.” — “This is the key that I have been missing.” — “It caused a light bulb moment for me.” — “You connected all the dots for me.” — “As a counselor, I’ve never been so excited about any material.” — “You’re on to something huge here.”
Based on over three decades of counseling, as well as scientific and biblical research, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife, Sarah, have already taken the “Love and Respect” message across America and are changing the way couples talk to, think about, and treat each other. What do you want for your marriage? Want some peace? Want to feel close? Want to feel valued? Want to experience marriage the way God intended? Then why not try some “Love and Respect.”
• Love List -written by Dr Les and Dr Leslie Parrott, published by Zondervan. This book contains 8 simple but very powerful usable hands-on principles to help you transform your marriage into the best it can be. It includes an insert with peel-off, his-and-hers “Clings” listing the eight items of The Love List to help you to live out the principles every day. As Les and Leslie say, “A few small actions—practiced on a daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly basis—can change everything for a couple. Little, deliberate behaviors quietly lavish love on a marriage.”
• Love Talk: Speak Each Other’s Language Like You Never Have Before – written by Dr Les and Dr Leslie Parrott, published by Zondervan. This book aims at helping you converse and communicate with each other. Couples consistently name “improved communication” as the greatest need in their relationships. Love Talk is a deep, yet simple plan full of new insights that will revolutionize communication in love relationships. Plus it includes “The Love Talk Indicator” which is a free personalized online assessment (this is a $30 value).
• Love Talk Starters: 275 Questions to Get Your Conversations Going -written by Dr Les and Dr Leslie Parrott. This little book is exactly what you expect. It has 275 questions for couples to use to spend getting to know each other better and to sharpen their communication skills.
• Love Talk Workbook for Men -written by Dr Les and Dr Leslie Parrott, published by Zondervan. This is the perfect companion resource to work through issues that are explained in the book “Love Talk.” Love Talk is a deep yet simple plan full of new insights that will revolutionize communication in love relationships. This workbook for men is full of lively exercises and enlightening self-tests that help you apply what you are learning about communication directly to your relationship.
• Love Talk Workbook for Women-written by Dr Les and Dr Leslie Parrott, published by Zondervan. This is the perfect companion resource to work through issues that are explained in the book “Love Talk.”Love Talk is a deep yet simple plan full of new insights that will revolutionize communication in love relationships. This workbook for women is full of lively exercises and enlightening self-tests that help you apply what you are learning about communication directly to your relationship.
• The Heart of the 5 Love Languages -written by Dr Gary Chapman, published by Northfield Publishing. This outstanding book will help you to express your love to your spouse in a way that he/she understands. In this new edition, you’ll also find a couple’s guide to help you work as a team. You’ll find that before you know it, you’ll learn to speak and understand the unique languages of love and effectively express your love as well as feel truly loved in return.
• When Sorry Isn’t Enough: Making Things Right with Those You Love -written by Gary Chapman, published by Northfield Publishing. In this book Dr Chapman teams up with psychologist Jennifer Thomas to dissect this difficult subject. The basic premise for this book is “that we don’t all agree on what constitutes a sincere apology.” That’s why so many apologies aren’t accepted. The authors emphasize that “you need to learn the ‘language’ of the person you are apologizing to: for one person, it may be expressing regret, while for another it’s accepting responsibility or making restitution.” This book helps you to see a fuller picture of the importance of knowing HOW to apologize to the other person so they understand fully how sorry you are. It’s not as simple as apologizing —it’s also knowing what the other person needs from you to know and accept your sincerity.