Below you will find web site links and recommended resources that deal with the issue of emotional and physical affair issues. We pray you will find them to be helpful.
• Affairrecovery.com This web site offers hope, support, and recovery for couples and individuals who have suffered the pain resulting from infidelity, betrayal, or sexual addiction. The Affair Recovery Center is a partnership of counseling professionals dedicated to the restoration of marriages crippled by infidelity. Their community includes numerous couples who have experienced reconciliation and renewal.
Some of the services they offer are: individual counseling, affair recovery groups, free resources, seminars, on-line study courses, plus subscription-only services for in-depth resources and ongoing support.
• Beyondaffairs.com This is the web site for Beyond Affairs Network and Passionate Life Seminars which was founded by Anne and Brian Bercht who are authors, Seminar Speakers, and Relationship Coaches. This web site is dedicated to helping couples and individuals heal from the devastating pain of affairs and build even greater lives together. You can also sign up at this web site for a free e-mail newsletter. They have a lot of helpful articles and information, which could greatly benefit those who visit their web site.
• Hopeandhealing.us Hope & Healing is a Christian based support ministry devoted entirely to helping couples who have experienced the heartache of adultery. It is led by couples who also have experienced this heartache, are still married and are committed to being the husbands and wives God intended them to be. Hope & Healing was founded and designed to support, encourage, offer hope and provide practical strategies for couples willing to grow through this crisis in their marriage.
• MarriageBuilders.com This is a great web site, featuring Dr Willard F. Harley, Jr. which has a whole section devoted to the subject of INFIDELITY and many other subjects on marriage. You will also be introduced to some of the best ways to overcome marital conflicts and some of the quickest ways to restore love. Dr. Harley has saved thousands of marriages from the pain of unresolved conflict and the disaster of divorce. His successful approach to building marriages can help you build yours. There’s even a “Discussion Forum” that you can use to ask questions.
• Newlifepartners.org This is a Christian online resource and support group for women whose lives have been impacted by husbands or loved ones caught in the web of pornography and/or sexual addiction. On their web site you’ll find sharing, caring, love, hope, and prayer to help you daily walk out the Lord’s plan for your life. They’re not a counseling group. They have no paid counselors —they’re a peer support group. This means that each of the ladies within NLP is going through something similar to what you may be experiencing. The resources available to NLP members include an email discussion forum, online chats, small group forums, Bible or book study groups and an annual retreat.
• RonAndNancyAnderson.com This is the web site for Nancy Anderson who wrote the book “Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome.” Her marriage was rocked to its foundation when she had an affair with another man. And yet their marriage survived this ordeal. You can also visit their blog at www.joyfulmarriage.blogspot.com.
• Restore Are you wondering if there’s enough left to save in your relationship? Take the proven path to restoration after infidelity. Restore is a 10-part video series, put together by Dave Carder, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. This online video series is designed to walk you through the process of recovering from sexual betrayal and broken trust in your relationship. Through Restore, you will have the tools, clear direction, and exercises to stabilize your relationship so that you can make wise decisions that are supportive of your children and your possible future together.
• Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome -Written by Nancy Anderson, published by Kregel Publications. As some reviewers have said —which we agree, “This is wisdom born of tragic but genuine experience. Because Nancy Anderson nearly ruined her marriage due to infidelity, she truly knows the misery that an affair can cause. Her honesty, vulnerability, and repentance provide marital lessons guaranteed to revitalize and strengthen couples who are susceptible to the lure of an affair.
She does a terrific job telling her compelling U-turn story of rebellion, repentance, and restoration. In the second part of the book, she gives helpful suggestions and funny examples that demonstrate how to create a healthy and satisfying marriage. She has a delightful way of teaching without preaching.” This really is a very good book for every Christian couple to read! We highly recommend it.
• Because I Said Forever: Embracing Hope in an Imperfect Marriage -by Deb Kalmbach and Heather Kopp, published by Multnomah Publishers. This book is by far one of my (Cindy’s) favorite books on the subject of marriage addressed specifically to women. It’s a compilation of true testimonies on various subjects of marriage lived out by different women who have and are living through some really tough situations and yet God has helped them to live victoriously despite the difficulties.
The authors have done an excellent job of “applying biblical principles to the challenging issues involved in a difficult marriage.” Women who read this book will “understand how doing things God’s way brings fulfillment and peace, regardless of the circumstances.”
• Close Calls: What Adulterers Want You to Know About Protecting Your Marriage -Written by Dave Carder, published by Northfield Publishing. In this book, Dave Carder, counselor, author of the bestselling Torn Asunder, and a sought-after expert on issues of adultery, includes eye-opening stories, clinical insights, and up-to-date data. He reveals what adulterers learned the hard way —and wants the rest of us to know. For example, every spouse has a “Dangerous Partner Profile” of the kind of person who tempts them. Close Calls should be on every church leader’s and marriage counselor’s required reading list.
• Godly Whispers: A 90-Day Devotional To Help You Recover From Your Spouses Affair, written by Marsha M Rozalaski, published by Marsha M Rozalaski. Did your spouse have an affair? Here you will find God’s deep love for you and His plan for your life and your marriage. With these devotionals you will be able to: – Face each new day with a renewed sense of hope – Turn what you’re experiencing into God’s loving plan for your life -Turn your pain and devastation into a new course with a distinct path – Uncover new ways of prevailing in the face of devastation – Feel God’s peace being poured out into your spirit – Feel wrapped by His love and carried by His arms – Experience God’s wisdom and comfort by knowing He is listening -Heal your marriage through God’s loving plan.
• Hedges: Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect It -By Jerry Jenkins, published by Moody Press. There’s so much that needs to be said on this subject that Jerry says very well. We can’t emphasize enough the importance of taking this subject seriously. This newer edition (previously published under the title of “Hedges”) also comes complete with a Study Guide, which will make the lessons personal. They’re designed for your own reflection or to talk them over with your spouse to help you to work through the different areas of your life that will need protective hedges put into place. We HIGHLY recommend this book to every married couple!
• Hope After Betrayal: Healing When Sexual Addiction Invades Your Marriage -by Meg Wilson, published by Kregel Publications. This is a TERRIFIC book for women who need to experience healing after finding out that adulterous sexual addiction has invaded their marriage. Not only does Meg, herself, greatly minister through her own personal experience, she also gives insight into the lives of several women and the journey they took to healing after finding out about their husband’s addiction and adulterous situations. The book also has sections after each chapter that can also be quite helpful. One of them is called “Path Lights” which contains related scriptures and quotes. And the other is called “Journaling” which poses questions and thoughts to help women to process through this difficult journey through journaling. So it’s like therapy of another kind. We can’t recommend this book highly enough.
• Love Must Be Tough: New Hope for Marriages in Crisis -Written by Dr James Dobson, published by Multnomah Publishers. In this book, Dr. Dobson offers practical help for the spouse who wants to hold the marriage together. He shows how to rekindle romantic interest and draw the offending partner back home. For new generations faced with ever-increasing threats to stable and loving bonds, Love Must Be Tough offers realistic hope.
• My Husband’s Affair Became the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me -Written by Anne Bercht (with Brian Bercht and Danielle Bercht), published on-demand in cooperation with Trafford Publishing. In this wonderful book the author Anne Bercht walks you through the painful ordeal she and her family experienced after she discovered that her husband Brian had betrayed her by committing adultery with another woman. You also read about the extreme difficulty of having a spouse who moves out to begin a new life with the woman he betrayed her with, and the eventual painful process of reconciling and rebuilding a new marriage together. And yet through it all, as Anne candidly reveals the emotional upheaval and anguish they experienced. You get a glimpse at to why she could eventually say her husband’s affair “became the best thing that ever happened to me.”
• Surviving an Affair -By Dr. Willard F. Harley and Dr. Jennifer Harley Chalmers, published by Fleming H. Revel. This book is a guide to understanding and surviving every aspect of infidelity-from the beginning of an affair through the restoration of the marriage. The authors Drs. Harley and Chalmers describe why affairs begin and end, how to end an affair, how to restore the marriage after the affair, how to manage resentment, and how to rebuild trust. It also guides you step-by-step from the devastating blow of infidelity to a loving and trusting marriage.
• The Divorce Remedy: The Proven 7-Step Program for Saving Your Marriage -written by Michele Weiner Davis, published by Simon & Schuster. Although this book does not come from a “Christian” perspective, most of the principles presented are very solid. She teaches you how to identify specific marriage-saving goals, move beyond ineffective, hurtful ways of interacting, and become an expert on “doing what works.” The author also offers solution-oriented strategies for readers to cope with infidelity, and midlife crises. And if you think you partner already has a foot out the door, this proven program is a recipe for change, even if only you participate. (NOTE: While we agree with about 95% of what this book presents, we do disagree with some of Michelle’s advice to couples who face an Internet Pornography problem. But, even so, we recommend this book to couples because the rest of the advice is very helpful.)
• Too Close to the Flame -written by Dr Gregg Jantz with Ann McMurray, published by Howard Publishing Company. In this book, Dr. Jantz bases each section on specific case studies. He offers guidance in identifying sexual manipulators and climbers, and spotting danger signals in friendships about to turn sexual, protecting family members from relatives or acquaintances who are sexual predators, knowing how to avoid sexual traps when advising church members, avoiding sexual pitfalls in professional and pastoral counseling, and more.
• Torn Asunder: Recovering From an Extramarital Affair -written by Dave Carder, Moody Publishers. This book is very comprehensive and is a great practical guide for dealing with extramarital affairs and we highly recommend it! There are a couple of parts that especially stand out and set it apart from other resources. One which is EXCELLENT is titled: “When Your Spouse Doesn’t Want You Back: The 90-Day Experiment.” You really need to get the book to have this as well as the other helpful information. (If you’re dealing with this problem and you can’t get this book in your country then please contact the publisher at the above web site and see if there’s something that can be arranged.)
• Unfaithful: Hope and Healing After Infidelity -written by Gary and Mona Shriver, published by David C Cook. This is an absolutely terrific book! We can’t recommend this book highly enough! It’s written by a couple who have been through this horrible experience themselves. “More than ten years ago, Gary Shriver shocked his wife Mona, with a confession of his three year affair —as well as a one-night stand.” It devastated their marriage! After Gary’s confession they struggled to keep their marriage together with all the strength they could muster and the Lord’s very real help! This book is a great road map to follow to recovery! We wish every couple that goes through this terrible experience could read this book because it’s packed with so much that could help them.