The following are Web Site Links and recommended resources that will help you to deal with the destructive force of pornography and cybersex. We pray you they help your marriage.
• Bebroken.com: This site is designed to assist you in finding help, resources, and education on sexual purity. Whether you battle a sexual addiction or struggle lightly, you should benefit from the resources here. They also have a new men’s resource that you may find helpful. It is called Gateway to Freedom which is 3-day intensive workshop for men struggling with sex or porn addiction. This workshop provides practical, biblical tools for overcoming sexual addiction and living every day in sexual purity.
• Covenanteyes.com This software program is designed to hold people accountable when using the Internet. Safeguard your Internet world from the dangers, risks, and liabilities of Internet pornography. Once installed, Covenant Eyes monitors websites your computer visits.
• Christianrecovery.com: Christian Recovery International is a coalition of ministries dedicated to helping the Christian community become a safe and helpful place for people recovering from addiction, abuse or trauma. This is the best overall Christian recovery site on the Net with a broad focus on all recovery issues.
• Dirtygirlsministries.com Dirty Girls Ministries (DGM) is a non-profit ministry providing women with help, hope and healing from pornography and sexual addiction. Founded by author and speaker Crystal Renaud in February of 2009, the mission of DGM is to break through the stigma that surrounds female porn & sexual addiction by creating safe spaces for women to find help, hope and healing. And to train up others to do the same.
• Everymansbattle.com: They have over 648 free articles in the New Life Article Library which you can access by going to the upper tool bar and selecting “Articles.” They provide you the opportunity to search by keyword or choose an article category. A few of the categories are Sexual Integrity (where they have over 60 articles listed), Tools for Temptation, Addictions, and Rebuilding Trust. If you’re looking for ways to be encouraged, discover healthy family tips, make connections or find out about many more topics, there could be an article in there for you.
• Faithfulandtrue.com: This ministry with Dr. Mark Laaser is designed to help those who are struggling with a sexual addiction. As they say about their ministry: “We hope and pray that if you are a spouse, family member, loved one, or a friend of a person who struggles with sexual addiction you will also find our website beneficial and helpful. You may also feel hurt, frustrated, angry, and even question why you still love them as much as you do. Know that there is hope for you too. We know that breaking the silence about shameful secrets and finding fellowship is the way out. We hope the information on our site will be a great asset to you. We pray that this may be one of the places where you decide to be of strong faith and courage to reach out for help.
• Nacr.com: THE NATIONAL ASSOCIATION FOR CHRISTIAN RECOVERY is a ministry has resources for Christians recovering from addiction, abuse, or trauma. On this web site they offer a variety of different resources which you can obtain. They also have a section labeled “Library” where they have articles posted from their STEPS Magazine (which you can order on their web site). Some of the topics covered in the articles they make available to read are: Taking Moral Inventory, Recovery at Church, Spiritual Issues, Fear, Global Issues, Issues relating to Work, Theology and Recovery, Recovery from Substance Abuse, ADD and Addictions, Distorted Images of Self, Grief, Spirituality in Recovery, Sexual Addiction, Depression, Recovery Process, Victimization, Eating Disorders, Relationships in Recovery, Forgiveness, Men In Recovery, Codependency, Resistance to Recovery, Perfectionism, plus Interviews with those Asking for Help.
• Newlifepartners.org: This is a Christian online resource and support group for women whose lives have been impacted by husbands or loved ones caught in the web of pornography and/or sexual addiction. On their web site you’ll find sharing, caring, love, hope, and prayer to help you daily walk out the Lord’s plan for your life. They’re not a counseling group. They have no paid counselors —they’re a peer support group. This means that each of the ladies within NLP is going through something similar to what you may be experiencing. The resources available to NLP members include an email discussion forum, online chats, small group forums, Bible or book study groups and an annual retreat.
• Passionatecommitment.com: This is the web site for the Christian Sex Therapists Clifford and Joyce Penner and Associates. They have five therapists on staff to help those that need their help. All of the therapists see clients with a variety of individual, relational and sexual issues. Cliff or Joyce will assess your situation and connect you with the therapist of choice to best facilitate your therapy process. In addition to their therapy practice, Clifford and Joyce Penner and Associates, the Penners have available the following resources for healthy sexuality.
• Porn-free.org: This web site helps people discover the truth about pornography and “sexual” addictions. While sex is a wonderful, God-given gift, it can be abused like a drug for a variety of reasons. Today, many people find themselves captive to addictive cycles of viewing pornography, masturbation, illicit sex, online affairs, prostitution, phone sex and other sexual activities. If you think you are addicted or know someone who is, this site may be helpful to you.
• Puredesire.org: Pure Desire Ministry International (PDMI) is devoted to healing men and women who have become addicted to sexual behaviors harmful to their social, family and spiritual well being. God has called Pure Desire Ministries International (PDMI) to help local churches and their frequently overloaded pastors, address the unspoken, undermining truth of sexual bondage invading our society today.
• Pure Life Ministries – Helping Hurting Wives: Whether it’s pornography, an adulterous affair, prostitution, or another sexual sin your husband is involved in, this ministry is here for wives who are hurting. You may feel totally alone, like no one around you understands. But as they say, “You can talk to us. We do understand your pain. Having been in your shoes, our women counselors are here to minister to hurting wives. We understand the overwhelming anger and shame you’re feeling. Like you, we’ve asked the questions over and over: Where’s God in all of this? How could He let this happen to me? How can God bring any good out of this? No matter what it feels like right now, God hasn’t abandoned you.”
• Puresexradio.com This ministry is “training men and educating women on biblical sexual purity.” When you click on one of the icons they provide, you are taken to a “Subscribe” page, a “Listen Online” page or a “Main Page” of their radio outreach to learn more about Pure Sex Radio. They also provide “Radio E-News,” which will come to your inbox as a “weekly email newsletter that keeps you informed on upcoming show topics, latest news, podcast info and more.”
• Settingcaptivesfree.com: This ministry offers Christ-centered Hope and Freedom, one heart at a time, to those in the grip of sin through accountability to Bible-based Truth resulting in the true enjoyment of Life in and for the Glory of God. They offer sermon videos, podcasts, and Bible Study tools in 14 different languages.
• Six Types of Sex Addicts This is a link to the web site for Dr Doug Weiss who is an author and therapist and director for the Heart to Heart Counseling center. He deals with sexual issues and sexual addictions in his practice. This web site offers telephone counseling, various resources —including free downloads and E-books, as well as the opportunity to participate in 3 day intensives.
• X3pure.com This ministry has online workshops “designed to help you get control of your life.” They make available online Men’s Workshops, Women’s Workshops, Couples’ Workshops, and Parents’ Workshops. This is a ministry where their goal is “to enable men and women to conquer sexual issues like pornography addiction and sex addiction and regain control of their lives.”
• Yourbrainonporn.com “This site is secular, although everyone’s views are welcome. It is primarily science-based and focuses on porn’s effects on the brain—male or female.” Although they “don’t offer a structured program,” they “do share suggestions as to how others have reversed the unwanted effects of heavy porn use. This site will help you understand exactly how today’s extreme Internet porn can alter the brain. Armed with that knowledge, you’ll realize that some primitive circuitry in your brain is just trying to do its job when it pushes you toward porn. And you’ll see how to outsmart it and restore your balance.”
• EVERY MAN’S BATTLE: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time-by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker, published by WaterBrook Press, a division of Random House. If I (Steve Wright) had to pick one book that should be a “must read” for all men, this is it! Arterburn and Stoeker tackle the issue of sexual temptation and lust in an honest, hard-hitting way. They’re writing from first-hand experience and use the stories of dozens of other men. They also give a practical, detailed plan for any man who desires sexual purity. This book is helpful, whether you’ve “fallen” in the past from sexual temptation or just want a way to remain strong today and in the future.
• HEALING THE WOUNDS OF SEXUAL ADDICTION -by Mark Laaser, published by Zondervan. This book is written by a former sex addict who is sensitive to the “shame of sexual addiction without minimizing its sinfulness.” It offers help and hope for regaining and maintaining sexual integrity, self-control, and wholesome, biblical sexuality. This book comes highly recommended by counselors, Pastors, lay leaders, as well as others who have been fighting this battle. Whether you know someone with a sexual addiction or struggle yourself, Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction points the way to understanding, wholeness, and holiness.
• HEDGES: Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect It -by Jerry Jenkins, published by Crossway Books. This book introduces you to ways to practice preventative medicine in your marriage. As Gary Smalley says, “Men need this book. In a warm, personal, and refreshingly honest way, Jerry Jenkins sounds a compelling call for us to protect our marriages and then skillfully teaches us how we can do just that. This may be the most important book on protecting your family you’ll ever read.” We agree! As Dr Frank Minirth says, “Every married person needs to be aware of the subtle traps that lead to this behavior, and Jerry not only exposes the precursors to infidelity, but also gives practical insights as to how to make your marriage a stronghold against it.”
• HOPE AFTER THE BETRAYAL: Healing When Sexual Addiction Invades Your Marriage-by Meg Wilson, published by Kregel Publications. This is a TERRIFIC book for women who need to experience healing after finding out that adulterous sexual addiction has invaded their marriage. Not only does Meg, herself, greatly minister through her own personal experience, she also gives insight into the lives of several women and the journey they took to healing after finding out about their husband’s addiction and adulterous situations. The book also has sections after each chapter that can also be quite helpful. One of them is called “Path Lights” which contains related scriptures and quotes. And the other is called “Journaling” which poses questions and thoughts to help women to process through this difficult journey through journaling —which is essentially what marriage counselors help you to do verbally. So it’s like therapy of another kind. We can’t recommend this book highly enough. We can see where it would be extremely beneficial to any woman who has been betrayed by her husband’s unfaithfulness —whether emotionally or physically!
• LIVING WITH YOUR HUSBAND’S SECRET WARS -by Marsha Means, published by Fleming Revell. This is a guide for women who have a husband struggling with sexual addictions and who seeks recovery and healing. Marsha offers specific, proactive steps you can take in your journey toward wholeness. Learn how to find the support you need, grieve the losses of sexual betrayal, and focus on your own spiritual growth, so you can begin the process of forgiveness and moving on. It’s filled with resources and study questions to encourage growth and will lead you toward resolution, freedom, and new life in Christ.
• MEN’S SECRET WARS -by Patrick Means, published by Fleming Revell. This book helps readers recognize the “at risk” factors that precede the development of a secret life. Drawing candidly from his own struggles and those of numerous other men, Patrick provides tested strategies for defeating the habits and secrets that threaten mens private lives (i.e. workaholism, sexual addiction, substance abuse, pornography, and extramarital affairs). A leader’s guide has been added to this paperback edition.
• 40 DAYS OF PURITY… Learning to Live a Life of Purity One Day at a Time -by Steven Cervantes. This workbook is designed to help men undertake the challenge of living a life of purity. It’s full of Scriptures and teaching from God’s Word, along with powerful insights and practical purity tips. This resource is invaluable to both the strong Christian, and the struggling saint. The workbook also includes: Thoughts on prayer, thoughts on support groups, suggested reading, helpful websites and more. You can use this resource individually or in a group setting. To order, you can call the Be Broken Ministry toll free at 1-800-49-PURITY, order online at www.bebroken.com or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
• SHATTERED VOWS: Hope and Healing for Women Who Have Been Sexually Betrayed– By Deb Laaser, published by Zondervan. This book is a sensitive guide for women who have been devastated by their husband’s sexual betrayal. It gives practical tools to “help women make wise and empowering decisions, emotional tools to develop greater intimacy” and spiritual tools to help transform suffering. It is “Debra Laaser’s personal journey through betrayal, her extensive work with hundreds of hurting women, and her intimate marriage two decades after the disclosure of her husband’s infidelity.” It provides “meaningful answers to the questions that arise amid the complex fallout of broken vows. …Even if a spouse will not participate in a program for healing, a woman who has been sexually betrayed can change her own life in powerful and permanent ways.”
• THE HANDBOOK FOR HURTING WIVES … Managing the First 30 Days After Discovering Your Spouse’s Secret Sexual Struggle -by Stephen and Tonna Cervantes. This Handbook is a powerful resource for women who have just discovered their husband’s secret sexual struggle. In this workbook a wife will learn: 7 basis spiritual truths, how to manage her emotional trauma, insights into the male sexual struggle, do’s and don’ts when dealing with his struggle, 30 days of daily devotions, and more.
This workbook has been reviewed and approved by Elaine Daugherty, wife of Be Broken founder Jonathan Daugherty, and is a woman who has “been there.” The insights and encouragement available through this handbook are invaluable. Use this resource individually or in a small support group setting. To order, you can call the Be Broken Ministry toll free at 1-800-49-PURITY by Howard Publishing Company, or order online at www.bebroken.com or email email@example.com.