This is an article, which features couples whose marriages were saved and transformed. We asked some of the couples whose marriages were once in crisis and who now serve with us in ministry what they would say to you. Here is what each couple shared.
From: Mark and Debbie
To: The person trying to save a marriage alone
I (Debbie) want to say that if you are working on your marriage with an unwilling spouse, you must not underestimate the power that you have with God by your side. If your spouse is in sin, you don’t need to be his or her judge and jury. When I didn’t want to save our marriage, Mark had to learn to get out of the way so that God could convict me of my hard heart.
Learn to entrust your spouse to God and take care of your own side of the street. Your relationship with your spouse will never be as important as your relationship with God. The truth is, you are not going to heaven with your spouse by your side. You will stand before God on your own.
I (Mark) want to encourage you to pray without ceasing. It is the most powerful weapon you have! So many people forget that, and they get busy trying to play God in their spouses’ lives. I had to learn to entrust Debbie to God, even when I knew she was walking outside of God’s will. If you will reconcile with God first and do what He tells you to do, then when your spouse repents, you will be ready to reconcile. If your spouse never comes on board, then at least you will be able to move on knowing that you did your part.
From: Marion and Jeanne
To: The couple whose marriage is in crisis
We have been married 45 years, but there was a time when we thought our marriage would end in divorce. Even though we were Christians, you would have never known it by the way we behaved toward each other. I (Jeanne) used to secretly wish I could be a “godly widow” so I wouldn’t have to deal with our marital problems anymore. But God had other plans for us. Instead He wanted us to learn to take our focus off each other. We needed to put it where it belonged —on Him.
Jeanne and I (Marion) were married 10 years. We served in our church when our marriage fell into crisis. Neither one of us wanted to work very hard to save the marriage. But because we were Christians we felt that we at least needed to give it a shot. We want to encourage you as a couple to learn to pray together —from your hearts. A counselor taught us how to pray as a couple. Even though in the beginning we used the prayers to give little digs to each other, God used our prayers to reveal years of unresolved issues in our hearts. We never miss a day without praying with and for each other. We are praying for you too.
From: Clint and Penny
To: The couple or individual whose marriage looks hopeless
Nothing is impossible with God. We are grateful that God gave us a second chance when we remarried after being divorced for 11 years. But that wasn’t just something special He reserved for our marriage. As long as your spouse has not remarried, your marriage can still be saved. No matter how hopeless things might seem, stay focused on God and let Him lead you.
Think of your marriage as you would an invitation to a sacred dance with God. What is required on your part is to accept His invitation, take His hand, and let Him lead you out onto the dance floor. There you will apply the steps you’ve been practicing along the way. Sure, some steps will be much harder to take than others. That’s to be expected. There are stumbling blocks in every relationship and there will be times it seems that for every mountaintop you dance on, a valley awaits on the other side.
But remember that no matter how hampered your steps become, do not hesitate for a moment to listen to the music and follow God’s lead in whatever process He uses to mend your marriage. Keep dancing …and know that we’ll be dancing right beside you.
These testimonies (along with a lot of other helpful information) can be found in the book, Yes, Your Marriage Can Be Saved: 12 Truths for Rescuing Your Relationship. It is written by Joe and Michelle Williams, published by Tyndale House Publishers. This is a Focus on the Family book which gives “12 Truths for Rescuing Your Relationship.”
(UNITED STATES) Well, I have a problem with my husband. I try to be the wife that God requires of me but my husband puts me in the fire. He torments my mind. I know it is satan’s attack on me but sometimes, it hurts so bad that I lash out at him and say evil things to him. It does not make it better; it only get worse, and just think I am a Sunday School teacher! I feel bad because my husband does not go to church. He drinks, and stays out late after he get off work. When he does get home, I am in bed but he wants me to get up and warm up his food. I have to put it in the microwave. He comes in sometime about 11:00 clock at night and turn on the bedroom light, and say that he is ready to eat. All he has to do is push the microwave button.
I do not understand why is he so evil to me. He calls me bad names, and does not respect me as a wife. I know it’s the work of enemy trying to turn me back but I know in my heart that I must press on because it’s not about my husband, it’s all about Jesus and my salvation. I know Jesus said that he will not put any more on you than you can bear. I have been struggling with this for almost 18 years.
I am still hanging in there but I would like for you all to stand in prayer with me that my husband will be saved and that God, continues to give me patience, to run this race. I know I mess up sometimes, and say things to him that I’m sorry for later, but I go to God asking for forgiveness. I want to grow stronger in that area. Please pray that I will.
(SOUTH AFRICA) My fiancee and I seperated a few weeks ago, we never fought but it appears we had not been communicating enough and issues had been fermenting all the while. Even the seperation was peaceful and civil; both parties shedding tears. Without the holy spirit it would not have been possible to bear the pain even for a few hours. My heart is torn to shreds reading all the pain most of you are going through after having exchanged vows.
It’s so infuriating to see how the enemy is so brutal, I forgot my own pain while going through these posts. I kindly request that as you pray for your own marriage always bring another marriage to the alter with your own. It is not easy to think of someone else in these times but there is a secret in interceding for another while you are at your lowest.
(SOUTH AFRICA) My fiancee and I separated a few weeks ago. We never fought but it appears we had not been communicating enough and issues had been fermenting all the while. Even the separation was peaceful and civil, both parties shedding tears. Without the Holy Spirit it would not have been possible to bear the pain even for a few hrs.
My heart is torn to shreds reading all the pain most of you are going through after having exchanged vows. It’s so infuriating to see how the enemy is so brutal. I forgot my own pain while going through these posts. I kindly request that as you pray for your own marriage always bring another marriage to the altar with your own. It is not easy to think of someone else in these times but there is a secret in interceding for another while you are at your lowest.
(USA) Shirley, This is not your battle, it is God’s. Go to God in prayer and ask Him to make you the Godly wife He created you to be. Know that all things are possible with God if we believe. When we seek God’s face and make Him first in our lives, making no others our idols (such as our earthly spouses), He will fight our battles for us! “Let Go and Let God” fix your husband, you can’t. Know His Word, trust in Him! Blessings to you sister!
Lord, I pray for my sister Shirley and ask that Your grace and mercy fall upon her now. You are the creator of the universe, the creator of man and woman. You made woman to be the helpmate of man. Father, work on her husband. And take the anger that he is holding inside. Help these two seek You Father, and to love one another unconditional as You have commanded us to. Lord, I stand in agreement with Your Word and Your promises, that You hate divorce and that when we call upon You, You will hear our cries! Thank You Lord, that You have heard us and You will help us now. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Woman to woman I understand exactly how you feel. It seems as if you are under appreciated, verbally abused, and emotionally forgotten. But please dont underestimate the power of loving GOD first. I know you might say “I do love God first” but who takes up most of your thoughts each day? GOD or how angry you are at your husband? Or when will he come home? Or what is he doing? Its natural to think that way but in order to save your marriage you need to be into a SUPERNATURAL frame of mind. Ask God to fill up your days when your husband isnt around. If you have children then spend time with them, or sing gospel music, go to a park, take a walk, exercise, become a better you by becoming more like your heavenly Father.
I know it is hard but you must be submitting to your husband. Even if he’s a jerk because on judgement day you will be held accountable for going against the word of God. If he wants his food warmed up, then warm it up. As a matter of fact instead of going to sleep try to stay up to greet him and have the food warmed up with the shower running. Make it IMPOSSIBLE for your husband to find any fault with you and you will start seeing GOD chip away at his heart. GOD cannot move in your marriage until you fully surrender and line up with his word. GOD’s daughters are not mouthy, insubordinate, snappy wifes. As hard as it may be, YOU MUST DO THIS. GOD will be your comfort and your company you just have to seek him more. Stand against the devil and fight for your husband because hell fire awaits adulterers. Stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about what GOD wants to do in your marriage…but he needs your help to do it!
Find your joy in the LORD OF LORDS AND KINGS OF KINGS! Put on your armour and close your ears to his belittling comments. Prepare yourself always for spiritual warfare. Fast and pray often and also accept the fact that he may be cheating on you but GOD says forgive. Forgive your husband in advance so when GOD cleans him up the enemy wont be able to use unforgiveness as a foothold to tear up what GOD rebuilt. Stand strong sister!! MARRIAGES ARE IMPORTANT TO GOD, HE WILL FIX IT. SUMBIT AND FORGET, SUBMIT AND FORGET, SUBMIT AND FORGET! *and stop telling people your business, they cant help you – thus sayeth the Lord*
Hi, my name is Annette, and I have been separated from my husband since August 19, 2016. My husband lost control of his emotion in an argument, throwing objects at me and punching holes in our bedroom door. I took out an order of protection to have him removed from the home. He is trying his best to save the marriage but, I want to move on. My husband has been to rehab twice, smoked crack in my house and he is a recovering alcoholic. Also he has a mental illness, bi-polar manic depressive. He said that his meds caused him to act out because he had a reaction to several the doctor gave him. He is now taking one pill for depression and he said it is working.
We are not supposed to be together but he comes over everyday trying to get me to realize he wants to work on the marriage. I had prayed for separation and now I have it. This is my third marriage and I would really hate to end this one. But he is 21 years younger and I feel I deserve to be treated better. I’m thinking with my head and not my heart. Any advice? Thanks, Annette
My seven year marriage has been very hard due to drug and alcohol addiction my husband has been suffering from. We’re both Christians, but he refuses to surrender his will to Christ. There has been unfaithfulness, lies, angry name calling, and destroyed property all from him, as I cried out to the Lord to show me what to do with all this. This is my second marriage and I really want this to work. I’ve turned it over to God, but I ask others to pray for us, Clint and Susie. Thank you, and God bless.
Praying for the Restoration of my marriage. My husband and I have been together for 21 years and we have three children. My husband has always been an awesome dad and a Godly husband and I have always felt grateful for him–though apparently he didn’t feel I was from recent comments. I know my husband is involved in an emotional affair online and needs deliverance from pornography, and alcohol and healing of PTSD.
About 6 months ago he decided he no longer wanted to attend church. With a major career change he has all the symptoms of a mid life crisis and does not want to be in this marriage anymore. It has been an emotional roller coaster and I started praying like I have never prayed before. My husband feels this is because I’m desperate and need his financial support. I am desperate in a sense but not the way he is referring–I am desperate to save my marriage because I do not want Satan to win and destroy my family. When I took my marriage vows I did so with the intent to keep them. I believe there is nothing impossible for God and I am standing on his word through this storm.
I first prayed that God change me–and he opened my eyes to the ways I had not shown my husband how much I appreciated him, to the ways I had tried to be in control. He has done a major work on my personality and I know that is genuine–even though my husband doesn’t think so. He says these changes are great but they mean nothing to him now. He doesn’t love me. I know Satan is doing a number on my husband and I have decided that regardless of the outcome I am going to stand on the word of God and I am going to love my husband through this. I am praying that first God will open my husbands eyes and draw him back to himself–my husband is truly a good man and he has the word planted in his heart–he seems to have blinders and muffles–a block right now.
And secondly that God will soften my husband’s heart and allow him to see that he has a family that truly loves him. God has given me a few words throughout this ordeal that I am holding onto: “Shut up and keep quiet regarding the situation” (so I do not talk to friends), “Hold ON”, “Never Give Up” “Be still and know that I am God.”
A friend of ours came over out of the blue–she said the Holy Spirit put us on her heart. She popped in one evening this week and she shared a testimony of what had been going on in her life and how she was overcoming through Christ Jesus. She also said she was led to pray for us and she did and the Holy Spirit was so present in that room–my husband and I both broke down–held hands and prayed and even prayed throughout our home to remove satan and we prayed over our children. Later my husband was distant and two days later he stated that he still planned to leave our home.
I know he has continued the online relationship with a much younger girl–I hear his phone go off in the wee hours. I have prayed to cancel every assignment from the enemy toward my marriage and to cancel every destructive tie. I am going to stand on the word and submit myself according to the word. I have felt God’s strenghth. My husband says he no longer knows who he is and wants to leave and find himself and his happiness again. God gave me the word that our marriage will be restored and it will be better than ever before. Has anyone else been in this place? Please pray for my husband to be reconicled to God and for me to be able to hear the path God has for me.
Rhonda, My thoughts and prayers are with you. I went through something very similar. My husband told me he was having an affair and my whole world dropped out from under me. I had no idea! We had our stresses after 20 years of marriage with a struggling business and teenage children. I also suspect it was a midlife crisis for my husband. I love him very much and I knew that he loved me, the deep, real kind, not just the kind of infatuation you feel at the beginning of a new relationship.
This feeling he was having about his lover made him think that maybe he never really loved me and he was afraid he would never be happy again unless he left me. I looked at it like a drug addiction. His thinking was all distorted until he could break free from the high. He did decide to give me and our family a try. I asked him to break all contact for 6 months. He did and the withdrawal was awful. He was so depressed.
I know it is hard Rhonda, to have nobody to talk to except God. It is wonderful to know we can tell Him anything and He feels our pain, but it is hard to get a hug. I also hung on to the pillars I knew were true: Love can conquer all things, God can use all things for the good of those who love him. And God told me that if we can hang on in love, our marriage would be better than we could ever imagine.
I did every thing I could to show my husband love. It was very hard at times because he really just wanted to leave. It hurt so badly!! But, if your husband hasn’t left, then hang on. Keep loving him in ways that make him feel love and eventually he won’t need the emotional affair any more and he will come back to you. My husband had felt abandoned by God and started to think that he didn’t even exist when he was going through the worst of it. After about 8 months, he said to me ” I know what love is now, and I love you!”.
It has been about a year and a half since that day and I thank God every day for keeping His promise to me. Our marriage is better than I could have imagined and my husband has found his faith again at an even deeper level. All things are possible through Christ who strengthens me.
Ali, thank you so much for sharing your story. EXACTLY what I need to hear right now. Perfect marriage, 2 arguments in 14 years and all of a sudden…well, you know. Unbelievable. I’m fighting the fight of my life. I’ve never prayed so much. He is worth the fight and the pain. Can’t wait until my amazing man once again can honestly and truly tell me he loves me. Please tell me your marriage is still better than you ever dreamed possible. God is faithful!
Hi I was lead this morning to come to your page and read your comments. Currently I am believing God to restore my marriage. Right now me and my wife are going though child custody and a divorce. By the grace of God she calls me from time to time and gets on my Instagram and likes the pics of our daughter and me. Any advice you can give me while waiting on God to work this situation out?
Please help me with healing and bringing my marriage happy again. Please let us heal and be happy again.
I am on the brink of divorce with my spouse. We have been separated for nearly six years. My spouse seems to have moved on whereas I want to reconcile. I was unfaithful during our marriage and the consequences have been horrible. I am praying for a miracle and believe that nothing is impossible with God. Thank you for the testimonies and encouragement on this site. And please say a prayer for us.
I pray for restoration to your marriage sooner rather than later. I pray divine intervention and that your marriage works for the Glory of God. May you be testament of healing in marriage. May your testimony help others also facing the same situation. I pray God heals your spouse and renews your love. In Jesus name
I pray that your marriage had been restored or soon about to be! I pray that God does miraculously what only He can do! I pray that you operate in the love of the Father with your spouse. I pray full restoration beyond your imagination in Jesus strong name!! Amen.
I need divine intervention in my relationship with Bertha. I’m engaged to her and every time I get serious to settle down with someone, something comes up. When I proposed to her she moved to another province and now its complicating our relationship. Please pray that she moves back to our province so we can settle down. I’m too desperate. I dont want to lose her like I lost all the people that I loved. She is doubting to marry me now. I really love her and believe the hand of God shall bring her back to me and derstroy the curse in my life that makes my relationships stumble. I suffer from lust, please pray for me. I desperately need her.
Due to depression and a stupid decision to leave the family home, I sinned again by seeing a woman I met online. We didn’t have intercourse but it was sinful enough what I did. I am praying everyday that Jesus will restore my soul and cleanse me so I can be the husband and father he wants me to be. Look after my wife and children who are innocent in all this. Please pray for them.
I am praying for your family and for you. It is my hope that you will wake you up to be the husband and father God desires that you be, and that your wife and family will not be destroyed by this, but will benefit from your renewed spirit and actions. I pray that as truth is revealed, God will minister to everyone involved. May this be the beginning of a more spiritual, compassionate, and giving life for you. God bless.
God is good. I am dumped in a house for 11 yrs with 2 children. My husband lives next to me with another woman. The pain is too much from day one, especially when I see them. If I had a family I would run to mummy. I pray everyday but in vain. I know God still loves me.
I am separated from my husband. We’ve been together since we were teenagers…25 years now. There has been cheating on both sides, abuse of all kinds, and he has a serious drug addiction. He acts like he hates me most days but there’s still love there. He just wants to die, is in a dark place, and recently started sleeping with someone else; not to mention the drugs are the cause of most of this. I have stuck by him and loved him through all of it, but it also changed me into an angry bitter wife who is just surviving…Getting through the day, complaining about everything.
He wants nothing to do with me right now, but I’m not willing to give up on him. I feel like God is asking me just to pray for him hard right now, but also to not contact him…as much as it’s killing me not to, but I’m obeying. I believe in miracles and am asking the Lord for a miracle in our lives and our marriage. We didn’t put God first…It really all boils down to that. Am I right to not give up and keep believing in my marriage? Both sides of our Christian families think I’m nuts to still love him and want to be with him…Help please…I need some good Christian advice. Thank you.
Dina, I’m so sad for you that you are in this place. I have no doubt that you are heartbroken. I cry with you on this. As for your question to us — It’s never wrong to believe God for a miracle. That’s what faith is. It’s F.A.I.T.H. = Forsaking All I Trust Him. It doesn’t matter if the whole world thinks you’re “nuts” –they don’t live your life. They aren’t the ones who will live out the total raw results of your decision. Their motives may be loving… they don’t want to see you continue to go down this painful path. That is commendable. But that doesn’t mean they are right. The easier path, or an easier path may seem like the way to go, but that doesn’t mean it’s the one that that you SHOULD take.
I honestly don’t know what you should do. I’m not the one being cheated upon. But if there is even a shred of doubt about divorcing, I would say don’t. Don’t give up unless you believe, with everything in you, that God is telling you this is hopeless –that your husband won’t, in the future, respond to God’s nudges. And God does do that sometimes. I’ve seen it. I’ve also seen it go the other way where He says wait, or don’t. I wrote a blog about this a while back. You can find it at: https://marriagemissions.com/we-dont-counsel-anyone-to-divorce/. I know there are times when the cheated upon spouse, and/or abused spouse needs to divorce. I get that. But that is a decision between them and God.
I have seen many really wonderful Christians recommend divorce to someone. But I wonder, who are they to make that determination? They are not God. Marriage is a covenant circle relationship between God and each spouse. It’s the “cord of three strands” concept. No one else is included in that immediate circle. And no one else should decide for either spouse whether or not there should be a divorce. Support and love, yes. Pray, cry with, and be supportive. But don’t advise someone to divorce. Let them work that through with God. And then afterward, one way or the other, be there for that spouse as a support system.
So Dina… go the way you believe God would have you. Be prayerful, discerning, and careful with your heart as to how much of your heart you should expose to your husband at this point– especially with his “serious drug addiction” going on. You are dealing with a substance more than a person at this point unless he gets clean. But don’t let anyone, other than God, decide for you what you should do as far as divorcing your husband. Work on your bitterness, yes. I know God would have you do that. It’s biblical. Please know that we have a whole topic with great quotes and articles and such to help you on that journey. You can find it at: https://marriagemissions.com/category/bitterness-and-forgiveness/. I can well understand why you would be bitter, but that doesn’t mean that it’s good for you (or anyone else) that you are bitter. Work on that and see what God tells you to do about the rest.
It’s better to go slower, than to make such a drastic decision, unless you are absolutely clear of which way you should go (not from a human standpoint… but from a godly one). I hope this helps. I pray God gives you wisdom and light at the end of this very dark tunnel as you lean upon His understanding –not the understanding of others who are not in that sacred circle of a covenant marriage. God bless.
My husband and I married when I was 18, just fresh out of high school. He had been married before but was getting divorced at 21 when we met my Senior year. I got pregnant pretty quickly but I would have married him anyway. We were so in love and then of course the responsibility came, things changed. We did normal arguing then things got worse, turned loud, then violent, then great again. We were in and out of church and sometimes involved in leadership. Somewhere along the way he got involved with prescription drugs secretly.
I didn’t find out why he left until he actually left and other people told me. He went through a long strung out period; is still addicted in fact. I took up drinking then meth followed right in his footsteps. We got our son taken away last year and now I am about to regain custody. We have talked a million times about getting back together but he always says he doesn’t think it will ever work. But, I know anything is possible with God . I am six months clean and back in the relationship with God and praying daily for my marriage to reconcile and for Jake to come home with the Lord. I need help as to how to pray because I know God can fix this. He loves when things look impossible. HELP!
God bless you, Taylor and congratulations on your sobriety and the work you are putting in to get your son back. I’m so proud of you- you’re a fighter. It’s kind of interesting that you say you don’t know how to pray, but are praying every day. God hears you- there is nothing special you have to do or say- of course, you do have to confess Him as Lord and Savior first! As long as you are His child and speak from your heart, trusting He hears and is working things out on your behalf- you’re saying and doing the right thing. Hang in there and keep crying out to God- don’t give up.
Father God, I thank You for the wonderful blessing You gave the world when You created Taylor. Continue to give her the ability to stand firm upon Your word and promises, knowing that You are always with her and hear her when she prays. Help her to continue to do the good works necessary to get her son back and marriage on the right path. Watch over her husband and give him the desire to fully submit to You and be free from the strongholds that make him turn to drugs and violence. May they both be the parents their son needs and the spouse that the other needs so that You might be glorified. No matter how hard it may seem, help them to hang on to each other and to keep fighting for their marriage. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
My marriage is was so bad I didn’t know what going on. Hi my name is Ange I live in Australia port Macquarie. My husband and I have been separated off and on for 3 years. We married not even one 1 year under same roof and he broke loose. Our marriage got worse and worse to point of abuse. I didn’t know what happened nor what abuse was. I was constantly confused with the arguing. He constantly does just little things. It got so bad. I tried to bring it to the middle but he manipulated it with lies. I am not the problem you are and did get one to counsellors he made it didn’t get sort upsetting me there too and pastor my lord he made very difficult.
I needed up in refuge it was big game to him power and control and even still I went thru steps to sort again without him taking responsibility the government housing gave another chance under same roof to try and sort but within 2 months turn to he’ll still without the proper help because husband blame etc and wound take responsibility for his own neglect for any now his in a flats and taking drugs. When I met him he was an honest, loyal, reasonable man loving Christ and wife at the start.
I had 3 kids from previous marriages and they stay part time. But there was always something sabotaging our relationship if wasn’t us it was something or someone else influencing to make sure things didn’t run smooth even in simple things. Prior to being married I was separate 9 years before I met him. I told him I am not divorced in his eyes as far as I am concerned you are and will you be my wife. I spent months in prayer. I wasn’t hoping for marriage at all. As I was not ready at the time.
I divorced my 1st husband and waited but while going thru that my partner at time just dating went and did took pot and said if you’re going to be with me you cannot be on this. I’ve got children, but my kids I only seen short periods not often. He said I believe this is the Lord. I prayed and one day the Lord said go get him take to prayer mountain. I was enjoyed and drive 1 hr to go get him took there the first thing when got to meeting was this. You too come here. pastor everywhere. The man said this is the divine will of the Lord you will be husband and wife. The Lord said I have degreed this and it is my divine plan and destiny for you both. I hit the deck. After I got off the floor I said hey pastor just because I walk in here with this man it doesn’t means it is.
The next thing the pastor spoke again. It is the Lord’s plan and his divine will you have to plan for you both you both been called by me and I send you to nations. I ask conversation and within that night 2 others happen neither of this people knew what the other said. And spent six hours with pastor talking about my life he also spoke to my husband and said why do you want to marry her she been thru much. And the pastor spoke him intently and said some man just marry for sex. I married many who use when for sex. he said no I love her and I believe it is the lord. The pastor said go pray and see what the lord says anger it is up to you. But power of the lord keep hitting me. And waited and I said lord what do you want. I was divorced by then.
I worried about telling my kids I only just courting and said lord I am afraid the hurt my kids here. so I said yes to this man and pastor lifted us up to lord and the power of the lord hit so much and seen myself as new and whole clean. Purer. I said to the pastor how going to tell my kids he said. fear not they be ok. Trust the lord. I arrange to meet with the kids and further husband at the time and they so happy for me. I thought great now I got a man who so loves and loves Christ and my kids no have a male in around with mum boy now I feel complete and whole got husband and kids and family again.
Wow a boy I was so happy until he’ll started HAPPING undercurrent within our wedding day all these things happened little by little I say what’s going on my husband said. It my ex husband crape. But it hurt he blamed anyone and me for problems and got so scared about stuff putting fear in me not faith because he did de years prior the lord saved twice and he seen heaven and he’ll a.the lord brought him back was serving the lord fully fell down on his own before met him turn back drugs this think has constantly drag him back every relationship his had has fallen apart which wasn’t many a.every girl. Constant cycle with him her. With women. They walk away crushed and with there own children.he had rejection for years from own mother hasn’t help me at all. And lives out of failmentality and rejection mindset and just before we got married a project said who knew nothing said the lord wanted to do healing after healing and your not a failure its a lie. But had to forgive a women. He said I have something for you bunt not yet its healing after healing.but you must forgive and leyt go. Its a women. I was just new to his life.
The next word was me you love the lord ameensley and wow the lord loves you so much.the word was the lords going to change the man in your life and the man around you will being to understand you. You prayed and prayed and the lord said you have answer within next 3 weeks he show me. Something be asking for 3 major areas you ask the lord . he answer you. And I got the answer 3 weeks later.confirmed in scripture thru other people he had no clue too. And the lord himself we got married within 6 weeks boy the whole married was involved around Christ the lot. Communion worship praise salvation call too and reception was about the bride of Christ. It was beautiful the photographer said this best wedding I’ve ever done in my life. She been doing wedding for years so purer and loving man I never seen nothing like this. Need help fast lack support church they don’t have skills to help really. Go to world it just more stuff.but I said lord I want to the worlds way I want follow you with this not man ideas they can make matters worse here. Pray the lord will showed the best steps to do. Right now and what his wants regardless of him. The lord know what’s right for all. Pray pray pray pray for the answers are clear to me specially now so can walk the the ways of the lord here. My emotion are rack because lack love coming across from him.
Hi, my name is Amanda from South Africa. My husband left me for another woman. Its been almost seven months since he has been gone. One day he came to the house and found prayers for my marriage, me and him. Now he is telling me that I am obsessed and I need help. Of which I tried to make him see that this is not what he thinks it is. This is what my God directs me to do for my hopeless marriage. But now recently he wants to go for counseling with me, not because he wants to save his marriage but because he want me to understand that he is not coming back. Please help.
Amanda, Keep praying. Your husband is feeling conviction. He may still not be in a good place, but keep quietly petitioning God to work on him. God is not on the same timetable as us. You can trust that He is at work, even if you don’t see evidence of it. I’m not sure if the counseling will help if your husband’s goal is to try to “fix” you and what he believes to be your delusions. In reality, he is delusional. He is so far off base to believe that what he is doing is right, and you are wrong in wanting to save your marriage. You both made vows and now he is trying to renege and doesn’t seem to be repentant about it. How horribly sad.
If you are going to a pro-marriage counselor who wants to try to help to reconcile your marriage, then counseling could be good. But if not, I’m thinking it really won’t help in any positive way. But pray about it and see how God guides you. I’m so terribly sad for you that at this present time your husband is putting your through this. It is so unfair, and so wrong. Pray and ask God to show you in His personal way if you are supposed to wait for him to wake up. Don’t let the amount of time of separation discourage you. You can see through these 3 couples that God is on a different time table. Pray for wisdom and strength and for your husband’s repentance. Even if he never reconciles with you, he still needs to repent. He is playing to the wrong god — the god of self-satisfaction–and is entertaining the enemy of our faith in the process. May God minister to your heart and your situation.
Please help me I feel so lost! My husband and I have been together for 5 years but married for 2. We have an almost 2 year old daughter and we recently moved out of my parent’s house and got our own apartment. Our relationship has been a tough one but every time obstacles come our way we overcome them.
Right now we have been separated for 3 weeks and it’s been really hard for me. I feel like he doesn’t care about our marriage and he says he doesn’t have time to fix it because he has other things to focus on (which is his job and making money to support our daughter). While I was pregnant he left me because he said he couldn’t stand living at my parents house anymore. We barely talked and when we did text we would always argue and things wouldn’t end well.
Well, we had our daughter December of 2015 and she was born with many complications. She was in the hospital for almost 3 months and we were still separated. After my daughter recovered, thanks to God, we got back together which was in March of 2016. Everything was going good but we would still argue but I felt like we were in a good spot. Then we decided to move out and get our own place because that would stop most of our arguments. My husband is the only one working because I stay at home and take care of our daughter who has many appointments and therapies.
Out of no where he calls me and says he’s been thinking about it and that I need to move out and go back to my parents. That he needs to focus on himself and that I haven’t been doing what he’s told me to do. He didn’t really clarify what that was but I’m guessing it has to do with me not cooking as much or cleaning as much. I would clean but with a toddler it was impossible to keep the house clean. I forgot to mention we had one of his coworkers move in with us and I felt like after he moved in our marriage started having more problems. My husband would never spend time with us; he was always tired to do anything. They would go to the store together and not include us.
I just felt like my husband was distant and wasn’t showing the love how he used to, that would make me mad. I would approach him about it then that would lead to arguments, until I guess he got fed up. I asked him what’s going to happen with us and he says it’s going to stay like this and he doesn’t want to talk about our marriage because he doesn’t have time for it. He hasn’t asked for a divorce yet but I read one of his messages with his roommate that said he wouldn’t get back with me and that he wanted to find another girl with a better body I guess.
I’m just so torn and I’d like to know what to do because I don’t want a divorce. I truly love him and I’ve been praying for him daily. We have always had problems with insecurities, trust issues, communication, jealousy and break ups. Sorry if this is long.
Hi Nancy. My heart really goes out to you. As I read your comment I was thinking how very complex this issue is. I’m truly sad for you and can only imagine your emotions. You ask for help, but truly, the type of help you need would take more than a comment here or there from me or anyone. The person helping you would need to ask questions and probe a bit more. We DO have a topic on our web site titled, Save My Marriage. And I recommend that you go into it, and prayerfully read through whatever God impresses you to read. Pray, read, and glean through the info to see what applies, and what you can apply. Perhaps God will guide you that way and you won’t need more. But if you do need more, I recommend you contact the ministry of Focus on the Family at http://www.focusonthefamily.com to talk to a counselor there. You will find their contact info on their web site. One of their counselors will give you a good start in finding out what you can do. I wish we could do this for you but we don’t have the same training they do and they would do a much better job. We’re marriage educators–not counselors.
I’m not sure what is going on with your husband. He seems disconnected and is distancing himself from jumping in and partnering you in marriage and in parenting. I don’t know if this is a selfish issue, or an issue where he is just overwhelmed by the complexity of married life, or if there are things going on between both of you that needs to be worked through. But perhaps one of the counselors at Focus on the Family can figure that out after talking with you and then can point you to the help you need. You definitely need to do something because it appears that your husband is entertaining dangerous ideas that can kill your relationship. You and he have a daughter to consider here. She truly needs both parents who are on the same page who will put her needs in the forefront as far as ONE of the reasons you both need to get it together and build a better marriage. There are others (like the vows you made before God), but she is sure a good reason. She needs parents who are united to give her the best start that she can get, considering her special needs. Please pray, read, glean, apply, and talk to a good marriage-friendly counselor (if needed). That’s the best advice I can give you. I hope you will and pray that God will help you as you do.
My wife—tonight—told me she wants a divorce. I don’t, and though she has said it time and time again during arguments, I feel like she really means it this time. I wanted to call my best friend and talk to him, but he is dealing with recent passing of his sister and I spoke to my mom earlier as I filled her in on the latest details prior to the “D” word that was dropped later. I am a Christian and I just recently started praying specifically against the spirit of Leviathan. I don’t want to doubt and lose hope, but this really hurts. We have been married for 4 1/2 years and we have a 3 year old and a 3 month old. The issue is finances. Please pray that God leads me by His spirit to a place of clarity and truth so I can move forward in love concerning “what do I do now?”