The following are “Real Life” testimonies from people who have dealt with the issue of sex before marriage. We believe you will learn through what they have to say and will prayerfully find hope through reading what they have lived through and learned through. As in any issue, it’s important in these sex before marriage testimonies that you live, learn, and pass along what you have learned. This way we can all benefit from reading them.
Please prayerfully read through these linked article and see what God is telling you. And then apply what you have learned.
Sex Before Marriage Testimonies:
• GOD’S WAY IS ALWAYS THE BEST WAY
• WHEN GOD WRITES YOUR LOVE STORY: Why We Chose a Christian Courtship
• CONFESSIONS OF A SEX-STARVED GIRL
If God has given you a testimony, a personal experience you have lived through that could help and encourage others who are dealing with this issue, we would appreciate it if you would write it down and send it to us. Please send it even if what you have to write isn’t very long in length. Sometimes little is much, especially when God is in it.
Please share your testimony with us by going to the CONTACT section. Next, click on the “Contact Us” link and write it out for us there. Please don’t send it as an attachment, because we can’t open them. If you want to remain anonymous, please let us know. We will work with you to change names and details that could be problematic for you.We will not reveal your name and the name(s) of your loved ones if that is your wish. Our aim is to encourage others, not to embarrass anyone.
The purpose of this “Sex Before Marriage Testimonies” section is to help as many as it is possible. We hope you can help us to do just that.
11 responses to ““Sex Before Marriage” Testimonies”
(UNITED STATES) I have been married for 40 years. I feel God put us together for His reason but our lives have had its ups and downs. When we got married my wife told me she wasn’t a good girl. I ask her if it was more than one guy or just one. She said it was only one guy and it happened only three times. I knew better but my love for her was shown to me, due to an accident she had. I knew she was the woman I was to be with because I cried all the way to the hosiptal.
However, life hasn’t been all that perfect or wonderful because I felt for some reason she still had feelings for this man deep inside so I wasn’t the only one who had her love to myself. Why does that bother me so much to the point I am left alone at times to deal with it? Lost and confused I know that she is in my life for God’s reason and mine as well.
Have I forgiven her for the lies she told me? Yes. Do I feel I am the only one in her life even after 40 years? No. Physically yes, mentally no.
The man cheated on her got another girl pregnant and left her abandoned. Yet she finds forgiveness for this man and holds no resentment at all towards him. I do because she is a great women, kind, loving and well liked by all. Will I ever have peace?
I recently joined Marriage Missions and have come across your testimony, Ben. It’s true the feelings you are going through and I relate very much to you. I divorced and remarried 12 years ago. My wife & I were both not virgins, neither were we Christians when we married. It was worse before I became a Christian how I struggled to be with a woman whom I met, not a virgin. I was jealousy of her every time I saw her talking to any man. Her career involved dealing with people and this almost affected it.
5 years down the line we became Christians. And what an amazing God we serve. At first I continued to struggle but then God has been amazing. First, God started dealing with me. I started to see myself differently as I started to understand that I am a new creation. I forgave myself and realised that I was forgiven and God remembers my sin no more.
Amazingly I started to see my wife the same. She is a new creation and old things have passed away. She is cleansed by the blood of Jesus and I can be like Christ, forgive and remember her sin no more. I started to purposely renew my thinking and committing to love her. We started to work on our communication, sex, romance, just loving each other, and playing with each other.
Wow! It’s amazing; you can be free from the old thought. When they want to come you can hold them captive just by knowing you are cleansed and so is your wife. I’ve now started working with other young guys to help them receive this freedom in Christ. It’s not about knowing what she did, it’s discovering the hidden love God has reserved for the two of you, just like how Christ is enjoying us as His bride, yet we were once given to the devil. Enjoy the woman you are with now and allow God to make your marriage a blessing. May grace and peace of God be abundantly with you, Ben.
Elisha, We’re proud of you for the steps you made to line your thinking up with God’s. Sadly, many people don’t do that. But you did and you are continuing to do so, which blesses those of us who hear of your amazing testimony. And then for you to take on the mission of trying to help other young guys to receive the same freedom that is in Christ, Jesus, we are blessed all the more. Keep walking with God –helping others to walk with Him also. What you are doing is important Kingdom work.
First let me say , Peace of The Lord be with you and me. Today I’ve been married 24 years, large family with a legacy that stories are written about. I have been that strong marriage that others seek and dream of. My wife is beautiful and I firmly believe that she is the woman of my youthful visions; we are very affectionate and joyful.
We began dating 4 months after she broke up with her first love. I was a pledged virgin, a school prayer leader, and football player, with strong family and parents. She was without a father, a man hater of a mother, a straight A student, and a goofball of a boyfriend. She made the decision to sleep with him after a church retreat. She realized her mistakes after 6x and dismissed him within a 4 week period. She has never looked back;, only has mercy and love in her heart for him or anyone.
She treasures everything we have in Faith, Family and Love. Me? I think of him every time I say The Lords Prayer. Forgive, yes-mostly. They were young and foolish. Still bitter about it? Yes. If I knew what I know now, I don’t know if I would have worked so hard to build what The Lord has allowed me to build.
I pray often that The Lord will let me drop this stone, then some days I pick it up. All I can do is be sure that I don’t become the bitter man that the weight of my resentment requests. Ben you ask, “will I ever have peace?” That’s what my fear is too.
Hi Tom, can I ask what you mean by, you don’t think you would have built what you had built if you had known what you know now? Do you mean knowing it still hurts after all these years? Can I ask why you married her if you didn’t have peace about the situation?
(UNITED STATES) I can relate to your story. I met my wife when she was 16, and I was 20. He was a virgin, and I was not. We broke up. I got saved during that time. We were apart for a year and a half. I did not date anyone during that time.
She tried to get back with me for the first three months. We got back together after 18 months went by, and I found out during that short time (15 months) she had sex with 8 different guys. I was heart broke. It has been a painful thing for me, besides wishing I would have been a virgin for her.
We have been married for 29 years now. I love her, and would not want to be married to any one else in the world. I would marry her again. But it still hurts that she gave her self away so cheaply. It still hurts after 29 years of marriage.
(NIGERIA) I thank God that I come across this site. I was a virgin when I met the man I’m dating, but lost my virginity to another guy when we broke up. We later came together after a year but he was not happy that I had lost my virginity. After 10 months of our relationship we had sex. Now that I know what God wants for me, I have a change of heart and am praying for him also to have a change of heart cause we are both Christians. I pray that God will forgive us.
(NIGERIA) I am happily married for 14 yrs now to my highschool sweetheart. We both met on campus in one of our fellowship meetings. So we were and are still committed Christians. We were first friends on campus for two years after which we got engaged and courted for 5 yrs before we got married (pretty long courtship, right). We knew the importance of not defiling the marriage bed as believers, and we pulled through those five years leaning daily on the Lord to make it, by his grace we didn’t have sex or any form of sexual intimacy before marriage.
There were times our emotions and bodies would say yes, but the fear of God in us constrained us. We were not super humans, we felt what everyone feels towards the opposite sex. There were times we would even pray asking God for forgiveness for those feelings just showing up in the first place. Of course, we set boundries for ourselves, such as avoiding being in lonely places together, no deep kissing or other romantic acts that may stir up sexual emotions, importantly praying together not in private but in public like the chapel etc.
(US) My man and I have been together for 7 years. We’re living together and have two children. We’ve been going through a very, very hard time in sexual sin because we’re not married! Since we have committed the sin of having sex before marriage, we’ve been cursed in all sorts of directions in our lives. He constantly talks about what I don’t do for him in bed when that’s not the important thing. Our relationship is based on sex. There was no love, companionship, or any connection in the beginning …just sex.
We’re battling evil spirits right now and need to marry. Now I know why God sets those rules in the Bible on purpose. They mean a lot of things. Those rules are to help us live life easier! So I need to marry and right now that’s impossible. I’m going to try to just get a minister to marry us, and not do it legally because of our checks and money situation. Please pray for us; we need healing.
I want to encourage young people in the strongest terms possible to avoid the terrible mistake I made by becoming sexually intimate with my girlfriend before marriage. Now, 30 years later, we are still unhappily married, with a horrible rocky road behind us. This is my very abbreviated story.
I met my wife first year of college. We started dating, and all too quickly moved in the direction of intimacy. It wasn’t long before we were having sex almost every time we met. Was it fun? Sure, you bet. But it blinded each of us to who the other person really was. We never got to really know each other, just each other’s bodies. More than that, when troubles did come up, our raging hormones and the bond created by this type of intimacy over-rode those troubles. We couldn’t see how wrong we really were for each other.
Long story short, we married each other — and that was about the worst mistake we could have made. As we got to know each other through marriage, we discovered we are the living picture of “irreconcilable differences.” We have very little in common. We don’t really like each other, and we don’t like each other’s friends. My best friend won’t even come see me anymore, because my wife so obviously dislikes him. We constantly push each other’s buttons, just because of who we are. And that thing that brought us together… “good in bed” …well, there has not been much of that since shortly after we got married. We even discovered that we aren’t so good in bed after all.
Why are we still together? Only because we both really believe in that commitment we made — “until death do us part.” Only because we have both seen the fallout of divorce, and we don’t think that is an option.
My advice, as the guy who has “been there, done that” — spend your precious time before marriage getting to know the girl/guy you think you might marry. Don’t waste it sleeping with each other! Seriously, you will have YEARS ahead of you with your wife/husband sharing intimacy. But you only have a little bit of time learning about the person, to be sure that is who you really should marry. Sex before marriage clouds judgement and robs you of the opportunity to build a foundation that will create a strong marriage.
Wow, God really did know what he was talking about. Follow His plan, and I promise things are going to turn out a lot better. I sure wish I had followed His plan instead of going my own way.
WOW! This is powerful! Thank you for giving insight into one of the reasons why it’s smart to wait until marriage to be intimate with each other (with God saying, “do not” as the main reason). We found a lot of the same things to be true in our life together. We also did have sex with each other before marriage. And we regret it BIG TIME! We now see that we should have been getting to know each other in different ways. Those are the most important ways. But when you are obsessed with having sex… THAT is what you focus on, for the most part.
We thank God… literally, that we have found ways to work through our differences. It was rough for several years. But we are now happily married. And yet, we will always have the regret that we didn’t do things in God’s order of doing them. We opened the gift of intimacy–of fully knowing each other before we were supposed to. You can work out sexual issues after marrying–after you are fully committed to each other through the covenant of marriage. But first you must make sure that you are both committed to the same values–especially God’s values, and that you like and love each other, and are compatible. If you have that going on–you can work out differing sexual differences later. But if you don’t do things God’s way you are taking a BIG chance in how well you will be able to work out your differences.
Thank you Frank so much for sharing your marriage story and your heart on this web site. Experience speaks louder than supposition. And don’t give up on praying for your wife and your marriage. We have seen marriages turn around even after 30 years when the spouses are committed to the Lord and follow His leading. I pray this for you and for your wife.