Asking the right question(s) for the situation at hand is an important thing to do. It can change the whole direction of what you are dealing with in your marriage. Some questions you can ask will draw you closer together. But others can push you further apart. It’s important to build communication bridges, rather than building walls. Mutually walking together with God and each other should be your goal.
Of course, the first important question that is asked before you marry is “will you?” Hopefully, the answer will be, “I will.” Another important question that is asked on your wedding day is, “Do you promise…?” Again, the hopeful answer is, “I will” or “I do.”
Ask the Right Question
But the questions we are addressing in this Marriage Insight are 3 different kinds that could help you to build your communication bridges to draw you closer to each other. They encompass investing, connecting and self-reflective questions.
The first group of questions concerns what we wrote about last week. They are questions that can help you to INVEST in your marriage. Keep in mind what Dr Steve Stephens says.
“It’s a sad state of affairs when we take better care of our cars and houses than we do our marriages. We change the oil, fill the tank, and periodically tune up our cars. We change light bulbs, wash windows, paint walls, unplug toilets, and re-roof our houses. But what do we do to maintain our marriage? The truth is: more damage is done than repairs are made. How important is your marriage?”
Make it a point to invest in your marriage more than in other things and people. It’s a VERY important thing you promised to do.
We hope you will take advantage of the tools we offer below that you can ask each other. They can be the “Right Questions” to help you grow and invest in your relationship.
Daily and Weekly Questions to Ask
Below are several questions you can ask each other so you can better connect with each other each day. There are others that can be asked monthly or weekly. We’ve given you the ones in a past Marriage Insight that you can ask each other every day to better connect. They are:
- Did anything positive or exciting happen to you today?
- Was there something that made you sad or disappointed?
- Is there something NEW that God showed you?
Below you will find links to the monthly, or weekly questions it is important to ask each other:
• WEEKLY CONNECTION TIMES WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• MONTHLY PLANNING TIMES WITH YOUR SPOUSE
We’ve also got other questions you can ask each other for those 22 Minute Date times that we hope you are spending together. (This is another great investment to make in your marriage relationship.) You can find them in two different topics:
Encouraging Honesty
Another question to ask is a self-reflective one. “How well do you encourage honesty? As a matter of fact, we have an article posted on our web site with that title. Within that article there are questions to ask yourself concerning how well you really do encourage your spouse to give you honest answers. You can read it at:
• HOW WELL DO YOU ENCOURAGE HONESTY?
Sadly, yes, some spouses do lie. But do we do what WE can to show that we are “safe” for them to tell us the truth? This is an important question to ask ourselves, and explore further. Keep in mind what we’re told in Proverbs 24:26. “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.”
That’s the kind of kissing we hope you will encourage. It’s one that we hope you will get from your spouse as you encourage honesty.
We need to LEARN to ask the “right” questions at the right time. If we’re sincere in wanting to grow our marriages into great ones, this is an important skill to develop. We hope you will.
“To this end we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of His calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by His power, so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.” (1 Thessalonians 1:11-12)
Cindy and Steve Wright
Filed under: Communication Tools Marriage Insights