The following is a question that can give insight as it is answered. Christians marrying young can bring up many concerns. Do you agree or disagree? Please answer the following:
CHRISTIANS MARRYING YOUNG: Should we or shouldn’t we? Why or why not?
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(U.K) I think that getting married young is both a good and a bad thing. If you get married to the person you want to and intend on spending your life with and you are will to make it work, then yes. Getting married young also helps prevent sexual immorality in a society where sexual expression is encouraged and young people are bombarded with sexual images and ideas.
On the other hand, young people are not always ready for the commitment of marriage, the idea might be appealing, but the responsibilities that come along with it are not always considered. And there are those that get married for the wrong reasons, for example, trying to conform to societal norms and to satisfy others rather than themselves and God.
Both my parents and my husbands parents got married when they were young (17 – 19 years old), but neither of the families are still together. However, despite concerns of family members, my husband and I got married when I was 20 and he was 23. We have made commitments to each other and God that are not to be taken lightly and have agreed that regardless of the circumstances we will always try our utmost best to always resolve the problems we face in our relationship, because we don’t want our family and children to go through the same pain we went through when we were young.
I think people need to realise that the kinds of marriages shown in the movies of “they said I do and then lived happily ever after” is not an accurate representation. There will be good times, but there are also times when things are tough, a happy marriage isn’t something that just happens, you need to work to have a happy marriage.
(GHANA) Marriage is an institution ordained by God. God loves marriage and it is an honor for you to be married or not to be married. If through the help of God and His directions you have been able to achieve your heat’s desire, and you think you are now responsible thus in all aspects, then you go ahead. It does not matter whether you are young or old, but it takes maturity in the Lord. Do you really love God? With God all things are possible. Your marriage is possible and happier with God in it. Stay blessed.
(USA) Thanks Ivy, cause I’m a Christian. I’m 19years old and engaged and everyone keeps telling me that I’m too young; I have my whole life a head of me. But I don’t want to be without him. I want to make that commitment to God and my soon to be husband.
(UNITED STATES) I think it’s wonderful your getting married Congrats! I’m still waiting for the right man to come in my life and am 26 old virgin. :) Pray for me. Anyways I think it’s a huge commitment because you’re giving of yourself. Some advice is to learn to cook and keep a clean house. I know that sounds old fashioned but men love homemade food and a clean space. :) We do it best and when you do it in love and the Holy Spirit it’s not hard. GOD BLESS YOU!
(CANADA) My husband and I were married young. I was 20 and he was 21. We felt we were ready and prepared for this next step after dating for two years, and we looked forward to building our life together – ready for the joys and challenges. We were not interested, nor believed that as Christians, that is was ok to just live together. We believed that within the committment of marriage was how God meant a man and woman to live together.
When God brings someone into our lives that we grow to love and honour, and want to spend our lives with marriage should be next step regardless of age. This could happen when someone is young or old. Each age brings it’s own challenges regardless. For my husband and myself, we experienced financial stress and the challenges of a few different career changes while raising young children. Then again, this is possible at any age.
One thing I have noticed amongst a few friends that have married young, is that they do experience some regret later on, not with who they have married, but of not having had the experiences of being a young adult, like taking some fun trips with good friends, or the experience of living on their own and supporting themselves prior to marriage. This has created resentment and sometimes a ‘mid-life’ crisis. But then I know others too, who, although loved someone, decided they were too young, broke it off, and then experienced multipal short-term relationships creating mountains of regret. It’s important to pray about it and ask God to speak to your heart about your relationship. He will answer.
I think there are things to remember at any age. Ask yourself if you do marry, will you carry unrealized life experiences that could create problems in your marriage down the road? Also, knowing that committment to your marriage can sometimes be the only glue that holds during the hard times – and that’s ok as long as when those hard times come that God is the One to turn to while you work at loving your spouse again. And it’s also ok to ask for help or advice from a pastor or marriage counsellor – don’t wait.
(RSA) I once heard a preacher say that “marriage aint for babies but for adults”, and being married I can say that is true. Not in the sense of age but in the sense of maturity. For me, “young” is a relative term because you get people that are old but only in age and lack in all other areas that it takes to make a successful marriage.
It is therefore important for one to seek God as to when it is the correct time to get married, and once they believe they have heard God then trust him to sustain them in that marriage. He is the author of marriage therefore he has got the manual to make it work through anything. We need to be committed to the gift of marriage that God allows us to partake in as we prepare to share in the same communion with Him.
I’ve come to learn to look at marriage as I do salvation – we never at any point discourage people from salvation. On the contrary, we encourage them to start at a young age to master the art of dying to self on a daily basis, which is really what we do in marriage. I am not in anyway suggesting that we encourage people to get married at a young age but I’m saying, when a Godly conviction is there, then who are we to say the moment must be forsaken simply because one is young. Only God knows that time for the word says: “For I know the plans I have for you…”
(USA) The question really misses the mark for me because age is not the most important variable. In my opinion it is the spiritual maturity of the individual that is the important variable. I married a few years after high school and we just celebrated our 26th anniversary. I believe we are together because within months after we married we accepted Jesus as our saviour and the Bible became our foundation. It also guides us to do many things together that gave (and still gives) us opportunities to be one flesh.
Did we have troubles? Yes we did, just like everyone else, but it was not our age. It was our level of spiritual maturity that was not sufficient to help us avoid some of the pitfalls. Consequently even if two people get married at an later age, if they are not spiritually mature, they will be in the same boat as the young couple. The word of God taught us the value of committment to our marriage, so that even when we did not understand our issues, we understood there was no quitting. Having the right mindset is what is critical no matter the ages of the couples.
I truly believe the verse that ends “…but with God all things are possible.” Marriage is not about careers and income levels; Hollywood proves that over and over. The world’s view of marriage is less about vows and committment and more about achieveing and accumulating and therefore it would make sense to me that age would matter. A 30 years old person can be considered too young to marry in our society but perfectly fine to jump in and out of empty relationships. Must a person be practical due to our modern economic times? Certainly, but that is no different than it has ever been that a man should be able to take care of his wife. If we are to speak of age at all it should be in the context of spiritual maturity.
(CANADA) Truth – I got married young but not too young …25… I had already graduated from a 4 yr collage at 20, started a second degree, traveled to 3 countries, explored and worked for over five years at a fufilling job moving up in my carrer so even though I was 25 I had a plethora of rich experiences. I was ready to settle and God answerd my prayers.
What I mean is that I graduated from college and while I was in college. I had a chance to be on my own even though I thought it would have been great to get married in or before collage – I am so glad I waited.
Marriage is awsome but it is more work than it looks like. It requires willing parties and it is not always perfect and the independance and the dynamics change – your life is not connected to another. It’s a big step. I think few people realize and that is why so many young Christians divorce; they are caught up with an illusion a false reality.
Being too young is a bad idea because you wonder later on what if I had done this and you also sometimes crave those days of being solo. It took a while for me to realize how much my life changed and when I did I was like – wow! I thank God I don’t have to wonder what it is like to go out and party with friends and stay out late with the girls – I did all that — and then some. I enjoyed myself and my youth and when I truly became an adult God saw fit and gave me a husband.
Scriptures that prove truth — Seek him and He will lead you. When we are anxious that is when the enemy steps in. The time we wait is the time God can deliver us and prepare us for his perfect mate. The Bible does say in Proverbs, enjoy your wife of youth. There has to be some kind of balance. God is a God of order – he wants us equally yoked to believers and to wait in His time.
My truth: Being a wife to man has its responsibilities – most men are babies – keep that in mind! Let God teach you how to walk in forgiveness and love first that is how you will have grace to have a wonderful blessed marriage. DO NOT GO AHEAD OF GOD – WAIT FOR THE APPOINTED TIME> HABAKKAH
(ITALY) Hi! I kinda agree with youth, but I would like to ask you a question, if you don’t mind: What do you mean by saying “most men are babies”? In which way/field of life? Thank you for your time.
(USA) I got married when I was 20 years old, and this is my 13th year of marriage. However, my boyfriend at the time became my friend first and then my husband. Marriage is not age appropriated, it should be based on the maturity level of both individuals. Young people should desire to get married vs. having sex out of wedlock which is sin in God’s eyesight. The word of God says it’s better to marry. So yes, If young people are interested in getting married they should. Society these days paints the picture of marriage to be unappealing and misunderstood. I believe the churches should offer pre marital counseling and marriage education. That way the young people know what to expect. God Bless.
(USA) I would recommend that young Christians do not marry. As Paul said, an unmarried (wo)man can dedicate time to God, versus having to split that covenant time with a spouse. I didn’t realize this until I married. Keep in mind that your spouse may want to have a “morning meeting” when you want to wake to pray or meditate.
Another thing is, many married couples, Christian or not, run into “what if” and “I wish” down the line. What if I had taken time to travel… I wish I had gone to X location… I wish I had taken time to get to know myself better. What if I had dated more… etc. Many people also have created soul ties over the years and when they marry (especially if marrying young) they do not understand how to deal with the involuntary memories of the past. Even during sex with your spouse!
Young Christians, if you are ready and God permits, by all means be obedient! However, if you have reservations, or are more interested in the wedding, TAKE YOUR TIME. Once you say “I do,” you and your spouse begin the life long surgical process of cleaving. And some of you know just how painful surgery can be. You are marrying a grown person with ideas of his/her own, a past to overcome, a family that you may not care for, and his/her own relationship with God (or not).
Do not enter into marriage lightly. This is a Covenant agreement that God ordained before any other institution. He loves you, even when you act unlovely, and even when your marriage may seem unbearable. God does not like divorce. Do what you can to avoid one, starting with the marriage preparation.
(US) Stormie Omartian said that 40-yrs of age is about the time when we are a mature enough person to marry. She admits that most of us are not patient enough to wait until then, but it’s likely to be a rocky experience otherwise. I recently met a teacher who said he married at 39-yrs of age, 18 years ago. He said that he marriage is incredible. Men, if you are experiencing trouble then you better get Stormie’s book, “The Power of a Praying Husband”
(USA) I envy and totally agree with being older. Not many Christians really seek GOD on picking their partners. I’ve asked them and they assume God will just bless their choosing. My first marriage of 16 yrs failed. I begged GOD to bring him back and then I heard GOD say “I didn’t pick him for you.” I about fell over. GOD has the very best for us and loves to fufill the desires of our hearts. Matter a fact, HE knows us better than we know ourselves.
(NAMIBIA) Grace be with you all. The Bible says, that one should rejoice with the wife of your youth and I believe that marrying young should be encouraged under the guidance and context of what God intended marriage to be. If the both partners are Christians and led by the Spirit of the Lord, marriage can be the most rewarding experience they can enjoy. If the marriage institution is designed to help us reach the best of our abilities and purpose, why not start out whilst we are still young so we enjoy its fruits for a lifetime? Yours in Christ.
(UNITED STATES) I think that the age that people should get married depends on the maturity of the couple. There are some people who are thirty or older yet can’t handle a marriage. Likewise, there are people who are twenty who would have a successful marriage. If God is the foundation of your marriage and you are committed to never being divorced, then your marriage will be successful.
There’s no magic age to get married, but it’s when you are capable of putting someone else’s needs before your own, loving with true sacrificial love, have God as the center of your marriage, and can joyfully welcome children into your life. If someone doesn’t fit these criteria, or if they are unequally yoked, they should not be entering the sacred union of marriage.
So if You are 17 and you feel that God has brought the right one into your life, then the perfect age to get married is 17. If you are 35 when that person comes into your life, then 35 is right for you. People should be patient in waiting for marriage, but also not be purposely delaying marriage either. I
I am 17 and would not oppose getting married within the next few years. I trust God and I don’t think that I will be missing out on anything by getting married young. My true purpose in life is living for God, not what I want. I have plenty of time for fun in Heaven.
(ENGLAND) Marriage is not bassed on age. It is your choice when you want to get married. But I think 35 years old is the latest age you should be married.
(UNITED STATES) Agreed Ana! I’m 18 and getting married today. God heard me when I prayed to grow with my husband. And now I see why we’re marrying hound. He’s fulfilling our purpose, and even though his family is strongly against us, I know this is what God wants us to do. With God in our relationship we have been strong enough to stay virgins and honestly I feel that was the best decision ever!
We had one of the most happiest young relationships I’ve seen in all honesty. I love my fiancé and I understand God put this love here and this is his plan for us. All I suggest to anyone is to be lead. GOD BLESS!
(SOUTH AFRICA) Can you pray for me; so that God can reveal a good lady, so that I can get married? I do not want to use my wisdom in choosing a lady. I want God to guide me through with his grace.
(USA) I am a single 23 year old Christian male and I respectfully disagree with most of you on this topic (staying on topic to the question). There is a world out there who needs single people to live amongst the rest of the world. Paul speaks of singleness and Jesus and his disciples lived singleness out very successfully.
Young people aren’t considering that time is on their side. There is plenty of time to get married. Many people throughout your life will make good spouses. If you don’t get married young, it’s not a big deal. And people with more seasoning will make for a better spouse.
Though hidden, the bigger picture remains. Marriage will not teach you true selflessness. True selflessness comes through giving and getting nothing in return not only in your human relationships but your relationship with God. An individual learns selflessness through giving, sacrificing and forgiving unconditionally through your marriage to Christ, not your human marriage. I believe you have to be willing to give up your desire to be married in order to be ready for marriage. Although these are my opinions, most of my friends would never consider it. I feel like it’s the drug of love they are seeking, not Christ.