CHRISTIANS MARRYING YOUNG – Should we or shouldn’t we? Why or why not?

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CHRISTIANS MARRYING YOUNG: Should we or shouldn’t we? Why or why not?

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25 responses to “CHRISTIANS MARRYING YOUNG – Should we or shouldn’t we? Why or why not?

  1. (NIGERIA)  Marriage has no specific age. But before one should consider marriage, they should be emotionally, spiritually, physically mature and; financially indepedent. Pray and ask God to choose the right partner for you. I’m 23, single and still an undergraduate. I don’t see myself as neither too young nor too old to marry. My girlfriend and I, have been praying to marry at the time God has designed for us.

  2. (NIGERIA)  Age is the main factor for getting married. Maturity is what required rather than age. many have talked about spiritual maturity but we need to know that maturity/balances in all spheres matters: emotional, financial and outmostly ability to be master over situation and circumstances (M.SC). If any young person possess these in growing measures and thinking of marriage… then let the person move ahead because with the help of God the future is bright and the marriage shall be blessed.

  3. Hi I’m Gisselle I’m from Honduras. I’m 18 years old and my boyfriend is 19. We met 15 months ago in his church in New York. I live in Honduras. Therefore it has been a long distance relationship. I’m in my second year of college and so is he. We’ve talked about getting married. Some of our relatives and elders from his church support us and tell us it’s the best thing to do. I’m still insecure about it. My mom isn’t too open about me getting married so young and so, as my sisters. We have been praying since we first thought about marriage as a possibility. If you could write me to my email i would be grateful!

  4. I do not have comment but a problem that is eating up the very fibre of my Christian life. I am 28 years and I lost my parents 20 years ago but God has been there for me.

    7 years back I knew this girl that I have loved and nurtured physically and spiritually. When she confided in me of her situation as a virgin, I took an oath before God to preserve that no matter the situation and circumstance that, which I have done for the 7 years i know her. She is 18 years of age.

    Today, the problem I have is with the fact that we have been policed and investigated by my church elders who say things and contradict themselves. My deaconess said my fiancé is not worth being a wife to me because she doesn’t come from a worthy background. In April we were suspended because she spent some time with me at my place and all my church ministers could conclude was the fact that I am having sex with her, thus the suspension.

    About 1 week after, I was operated upon and she took care of me in the hospital. When I left the hospital, her family opted that I be with them as my wound heals and I recover. But my parish members deserted me on the grounds that because I am intending her I am not supposed to be at her place even if I am sick.

    Please, I wish to know, is it scripturally wrong for me to have gone there?
    Did I make a mistake to want to marry her? My church elders called her parents and insulted and humiliated them that the last time I spoke to her father on our issue he proved to be unyielding and difficult.

    I am now considered an out cast in the church and a sinner. The last counsel meeting we had they almost beat up my fiancé for letting me be at her place. The church says they are not standing against us getting married but they have rather made things difficult for I the man. Please what should I do?

    1. Ngam – My Name is Hannah and I am from Australia. I understand that practices in Cameroon and Australia are obviously quite different as we don’t have deaconesses and church elders (aside from ministers). However, I’d say some of their behaviour doesn’t fit with the teachings of the Bible? The Bible calls for our words and our actions to be matching, that we may put what we preach into action so that non-Christians may see what is true and that we whole-heartedly believe in our faith.

      In regard to what your deaconess said about your fiance not being worthy -no one is worthy of anything. We’re all sinners and it’s only by the grace of God and his wonderful love for us that we have love and relationships and marriage. We cannot measure the worth of a person by their status, it’s through their heart, their mind, the way they interact with people and their faith that we can truly understand people.

      It saddens me greatly to hear that you were suspended and that your ministers came to such false accusations. They remind me of the pharisee in the Bible who knew all the laws and yet didn’t follow them. They created earthly customs to follow, which were not prescribed by God. I’m praying that God will soften their hearts, that they may see where they’re straying from your word and reconnect with it.

      I would say it’s not scripturally wrong for you to have gone there, and at the same time it’s incredibly loving of this girl’s family to take you in; they seem such a blessing. The story of the good Samaritan calls us to help all and every in need, no matter where they are from. It is by no means wrong for them to have offered their hospitality to you or for you to have accepted.

      I don’t know whether you’ve made a mistake in wanting to marry her or not. From the way you speak of her, wanting to keep her pure, and how you worry for her suggests to me that you love her and that is a wonderful thing. However we cannot know the answers, everything is by Gods will and his plan. At times this can be hard to understand and we become impatient with wanting what we think we need, only God knows what we truly need and he will always provide it but in his time.

      I’m praying for you as God reveals his plan to you. I don’t consider you an outcast and a sinner. As long as you have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, in his death and resurrection on the cross that has saved you eternally for your sins, then when you ask for forgiveness from the Lord you will always be made pure in his sight. Which is one our greatest blessings as Christians.

      In terms of what you should do, it’s hard to say. I believe you should be trying to love your church elders (this may be very hard) not to win favour with them but so they may see through your words and actions that you are a man of God, whose faith will not be shaken by their deeds. It is important to continue loving this girl and her family also for the same reasons. And finally to be praying, as I will be, for you also, that God will make his plan known to you.

  5. I am 24 and my fiance is 36. We are getting married tomorrow. We’ve been together for six years – and we came to know Christ just last year. Before we became believers, it’s too easy for us to just live in together. But we wanted to honor God and our wedding day tomorrow is our act of worship to him. It will never be about the age. It’s all about Christ being the center of your relationship. Remember, God created Eve because Adam was never meant to be alone. We were all made to have relationship with God and with our brothers and sisters.