How do you deal with the situation, where you feel that verbal abuse is being thrown at you within your marriage? And how do you know if this isn’t just a “normal” matter of one spouse disagreeing with the other? Plus, there is also the matter of emotional abuse. There’s no doubt that both of these are destructive for you and your marriage relationship.
One thing we do here at Marriage Missions is to hunt for information that will best help spouses to understand the different aspects of marriage. This way each marital situation can be approached prayerfully, carefully, and better educated. The goal is to be led by our Wonderful Counselor, the Holy Spirit, to do what He shows is best.
Clarification Concerning Verbal Abuse And Emotional Abuse
With that in mind, we want to first deal with the topic of emotional abuse. It’s important to clarify what it is and what can be done about it. And then we’ll go on to the topic of verbal abuse. You can have one directed at you without the other, and yet, they often overlap.
First of all, we encourage you to pray before reading —that the eyes of your heart and mind will humbly be open to comprehend what God wants for you to know.
“Good and upright is the LORD.
Therefore He instructs sinners in his ways.
He guides the humble in what is right
and teaches them His way.”
(Psalm 25:8-9)
Secondly, it’s important to recognize emotional abuse for what it is. Dr Barbara Shaffer asks the questions:
“Can you identify a symptom of emotional abuse? More importantly can you define emotional abuse or identify any of its forms?”
To obtain some answers, please click onto the link below to read:
• CAN YOU IDENTIFY A SYMPTOM OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE?
More on Emotional Abuse
Next, it’s important to know even more about this type of abuse. Counselor, and author Leslie Vernick explains much more about emotional abuse in her book, The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope
Verbal Abuse
And that takes us to the issue of verbal abuse. Most often it overlaps with emotional abuse. But here’s a little peak into the way relationship expert, Leslie Vernick, explains it:
“Cursing someone out is bigger than just using four-letter words. Cursing someone is condemning him or her as if you’re their judge or even their god. When someone does that he (or she) believes they’re the superior one; and as such have the right to cast “judgment” on another’s character, personhood, or even actions in a demeaning or derogatory way. The Bible speaks to this kind of person. Jesus says, ‘If you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell” (Matthew 5:22).
First, Concerning Verbal Abuse:
“It’s helpful to make a distinction between an abusive incident and an abusive relationship. Since we are all sinners, we are all capable of some verbal abuse. (James 3:2). James also cautions believers that our tongue can be misused as a weapon to hurt other people. (Yes, the Bible speaks of emotional and verbal abuse). James describes it this way. He says the tongue is ‘restless and evil full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father; and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right!‘ (James 3:8-10). He also warns that if we ‘claim to be a believer and don’t control our tongue, we are lying to ourselves and to others‘ (James 1:26).
“Therefore, when someone who claims to be a Christian sins and verbally curses someone out, or just says something hurtful, he or she should immediately recognize that he has crossed a line and used his tongue as a weapon for harm. James clearly says this is not right. As does Paul in Romans 13:10 when he says, ‘Love does no harm.‘
“Once that line has been crossed, a sincere apology should be given; repentance before the Lord should occur and a strong effort to never repeat that kind of abusive speech should be made. However, when abusive behavior/speech happens again and again and again, then it’s not just simply crossing the line and being a sinner. It is being an unrepentant sinner who refuses to submit himself under the authority of God.” (From Leslie’s article, “Emotional and Verbal Abuse”)
Verbal Abuse: Intimidation and Bullying
So, what do you do when there is verbal abuse, intimidation, and bullying in your marriage? And what exactly IS bullying? Dr Juli Slattery says the following:
“Intentionally or not, a bully uses intimidation and coercion to get his or her way. Yes, women can be bullies too. A wife can skillfully use emotional coercion like humiliation and cynicism. She does this to ‘punish’ a husband who isn’t ‘behaving’ according to her desires. I’ve met powerful, competent men who panic at the thought of crossing their wives. Is this normal conflict or bullying?”
That’s an important question to consider. To help you with this issue, Dr Slattery recommends reading the following books. We also recommend them:
As far as emotional abuse (including bullying), author Mary Yerkes describes it this way:
“Emotional abuse leaves few physical scars. Its victims suffer no broken bones, torn flesh or spilled blood. Still, those wounded might describe it as the most painful and destructive form of domestic violence.”
Additional Information to Help You
To discover what Mary lived through and learned about this form of abuse, we direct you to a posted article for Focus on the Family. After reading the article, also read the additional articles they suggest in the series. We believe they will help you gain a fuller picture of this type of abuse:
• UNDERSTANDING EMOTIONAL ABUSE
Christian counselor, Dr Barbara Shaffer writes the following concerning emotional abuse. (It comes from the article, “Emotional Abuse: The Abuse Beneath Abuse.”)
Dr Shaffer writes:
“Abuse in the context of an intimate relationship involves a persistent pattern of behaviors. It is not simply a mistake. Nor is it an isolated incident or a sudden loss of control. The goal that motivates all forms of abuse is to exercise power and to control…
“Physical abuse can leave bruises, and break bones. It can cause various permanent, structurally based impairments, like hearing and memory loss. These observable signs of impact signal the need for healing, assistance, protection, and safety. In contrast, emotional abuse is characterized by invisibility and great subtlety. It leaves no obvious mark that would call attention to injury, danger or the need for intervention. Although abuse comes in varied shapes, intensities, and every forms, it has an emotional component.
Definition: What exactly is emotional abuse?
“Emotional abuse is foundationally an attitude of entitlement and profound disrespect. It discounts at every turn the inherent right of the other person to dignity, separateness and autonomy. The other person is seen as only a contemptible object. Out of entitlement and disrespect spring the various behaviors that use anger, violence and/or contempt to induce fear, guilt and shame. The other person is thereby controlled, punished, or demeaned.”
Additionally, here’s something Kerby Anderson points out that is important to note:
Verbal Abuse Doesn’t Leave Evidence
“Almost everyone knows of, someone who has been verbally abused. Perhaps you are involved in a verbally abusive relationship. It is also possible that no one even knows your circumstances. Verbal abuse is a kind of battering. It doesn’t leave evidence comparable to the bruises of physical battering. You (or your friend) may be suffering in silence and isolation. In this article, tackle this very important issue in an effort to understand this phenomenon and provide answers.”
To learn what Kerby Anderson goes on to explain, read this Probe Ministries article:
“Harsh words can destroy your marriage. Here’s how to defuse verbal abuse.”
Dealing with Verbal Abuse
If you do want to know how to deal with and defuse verbal abuse we recommend that you prayerfully read the following articles. We need to tell you that they are not Christian articles per se. But they are very good ones. So, if you read something within them that you feel God would object to, please disregard that particular piece of advice. But overall, most of the advice can be very valuable. As you will see, one article will lead to links to others to read. Please read all you can. It’s important to glean through what you read to decide what will work for you in your marriage.
The articles we recommend you read are:
• YOUR VERBALLY ABUSIVE WIFE, WHAT CAN YOU DO?
Also, the ministry of All About Life Challenges can help you to better recognize verbal abuse. They also show you ways to avoid depression and find hope. This is important when you feel beaten up verbally. To learn more, please read:
Lastly, the following scripture is something you may find helpful to pray:
“Guard my life and rescue me.
Let me not be put to shame,
for I take refuge in you.
“May integrity and uprightness
protect me,
because my hope is in you.”
(Psalm 25:20-21)
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International compiled this article.
If you have additional tips to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
Filed under: Abuse in Marriage
(UNITED STATES) What do you do when a husband was raped as a child, parents angerly divorced, blames and hates his mother secretly, has no relationship with his father and dislike his sister because she belittled him while growing up? This is the man I married and as a result, I will not lie, I became angry. We dated off and on for ten years before getting married. I should have known better because our relationship was very, very rocky.
I was raised with my parent three sisters and a brother. He did not like the closeness of my family and he tried to stop me from being so close with them. He would tell me that I was different than my sisters and that he was trying to make me more independent of them. When I met him he owned a house and a condo and he thought he was better then me. When he met my family he claimed he loved the “family thing” but it was not true. I had hope that once we got married it would change things. I was wrong, it became worse.
When we had our first child he dropped me off at my parents house and left us there. I became angry. Four year later we had our daughter; she was a premmie. He abandon us for five months while our daughter was on a heart monitor and I was mentally shot.
Now, five years later, I am angry. As a result I have become a “mean” woman and he now calls me a BULLY. My chest hurts, my body hurts even when I think of him. He does not talk to me, we do not have sex, at all; anything can set us off. He tells me that I am a bad mother, that’s how I went into pre-term labor.
I really want to end the marriage but I only stay because of the children and financial reasons.
I was an actress. I moved the California and I came back to marry him; he tells me flat out that I am the problem because I don’t know how to shut up. But if I don’t say anything he will not do anything, not even take out the garbage or put gas in the car. So I will do it and as a result, it is what it is. PLEASE HELP, I WOULD LIKE SOUND ADVICE?
(CANADA) Rena, I’m not telling you anything you do not already know yourself. You don’t need this man in your life. You can do anything you put your mind to and leaving him far behind is much better than staying with him and living that misery. Don’t allow him to be in charge of having a good life. I wrote something on this web site. My message is there for you to read. My name is Annie and I am from Canada. Please take care of you and your kids and dump him. You are who YOU decide you are.
(USA) I have been married to an emtionally abusive man for 25 years and 8 children with 6 still living at home. We homeschooled all of our children for all those years until this year. I put them in public school for the first time. The stress was killing me, because I had no help from him and going through affairs, forgiveness, 7 counselors (still in counseling), emtional abuse, neglecting the raising/training of the children, which he will deny.
I am finally getting my head straight and getting some strength back, and trying to decide whether to leave or not. We have no family around and our so called Christian friends don’t seem to want to have anything to do with us, because we never get asked to do anything with other families. I have my friends and some support there, but I am so lonely on the inside other than my relationship with God which is good, that I want to move back home which is 300 miles away.
I have never wanted divorce, but I’m wondering if I’m doing my children more harm than good staying in a unhealthy marriage. They do well on the outside, but I know they are lonely a lot because home is not a “happy” place. I really don’t know what God wants me to do. I have biblical reason to leave, but I do not like the thought of sharing my kids with anyone else, while they are growing up My youngest is 7, up to 17 yrs. old still at home. The 17 yr. old told me the other day that this was not healthy. I don’t know what to do. I feel tormented!
(CANADA) I also feel tormented; you’re not alone. Mine are 9 and 14 and I have been doing this for almost 20 years. I can’t really give you advice because I stopped loving my husband and I’m still in this. My children are always caught in the middle. Unbelievably I have great children. They are the only good in my life right now. I wish I could help. If I felt in control I wouldn’t have let him come back after I sent him to jail for choking me. If I could I would leave but mentally and financially I cannot. I want to do good for my children and insist I can fix it. If he would back off for a while and stop yelling I just might beable to do that. Is there any hope? I dont know. He thinks if I just love him everything will be good but how do you love someone that tries to yell it into you at least once every other day? I am very confused and mesed up.
(UK) Lynne, NI, I’m sorry to hear about your desperate situations. In Christ, there is ALWAYS hope. He has given us choices and options – you have them. Just take one step at a time.
Firstly, get some help. Call up a domestic violence crisis hotline and talk to someone. They are very professional, helpful and listen nonjudgementally. You need to have support. It is impossible to move forward without support.
Speak to a specialised abuse counselor. Your pastor can give you spiritual direction, but will be inadequately trained in domestic violence issues. Getting wrong counsel will cause further damage – it is too great a risk.
There are many great books. “Why Does He Do That?” by Lundy Bancroft is an excellent book by a man who worked with thousands of angry and controlling men. It debunks a lot of myths and will open your eyes to what is really going on. It will also give you clarity so you will be able move forward and not feel stuck.
“Violence Among Us” by Brenda Branson and “Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them” by Paul Hegstrom are both Christian books, written by survivors and perpetrators, respectively. “The Verbally Abusive Relationship” by Patricia Evans helps you see what verbal abuse really is, why and how it affects you, why and how your partner uses it and what you can do about it.
It doesn’t matter how long you have been it. I was caught in the cycle of abuse for over 20 years. God sets the captives free and He can do it for you. Praying for you both.
(AUSTRALIA) I have been married for 25 years now and the last 4 years have been so challenging. My spouse abuses me by demeaning me even in the presence of the children, calls me names, calls me useless, no brains, too fat (yet I am only 69 kg), and he tells me to go run up the hill whilst he goes to the gym and he is 84kg. He somes physically abuses me by pushing or pinching me on my thighs and tummy, he says he is showing me how fat I am and does not even appreciate my cooking, though I wake up every morning make up the bed, make breakfast for him, pack his lunch box, and drive him to the train station before I prepare myself to go to work.
I do all the washing and ironing and even the garden including lawn mowing. He just gives orders. Everything now is about him first. For 3 months he would not allow me to drive the car and he still expected me to do all the above before I leave home. Thank God the children are all teenagers. I have been hanging on because of the children so they can finish their high school. I have been strong all this time because he was not like that before. I do not know if the time he moved overseas for 3 years and I stayed with the children, and we later joined him has something to do with all this new abusive behaviour.
I have tried to talk to him about some of the issues in our relationships and he says there is no problem. He has mentioned several times that I should pack and go, that I am just like a plate, which he uses whenever he wants and puts it away (this refers to sex – the only thing we are still doing together because if I refuse most times he physically abuses me and takes all the bedding away from me and leaves me naked in the cold). We have not kissed in the last 4 years.
Sometimes I wonder why I am still in this marriage. I thank God that he is giving me strength everyday. He was a lay pastor before going overseas and now goes to church when he feels like it. He claims to be busy with work yet every weekend its gym 8 -11 am, comes home to eat and wash up, plays golf from 12 – 10pm and he works from 9 am – 12 midnight 5 days a week.
He is the man who does all the grocery shopping, because anything I buy is not acceptable to him. He will condemn it outright. So we have no family time and if we do it’s one of those days when he comes in at 10 pm. The children and I will be tired and ready to sleep but we struggle to keep awake. I have had enough of trying to explain to the children the dad’s behaviour. He has also introduced dancing and marathon run in his activities, but no time for family and church. I am only looking to God for peace and joy, and I now struggle to tell our children that marriage is good. Help is needed.
(CANADA) If you are living in an abusive marriage, I am asking you to stop and consider that living as a victim is not what God has planned for you and your life. God loves each one of us and He has given us the golden rule: You should love one another as you love yourself. Inherent in this directive is that we cannot love another person until we love our own self. If you permit your spouse to verbally, emotionally or physically abuse you and you make excuses for him or her, then you are complicit in their abuse.
Have integrity for your own spirit. God loves each one of us more than we could ever conceive of and He wants us to be happy. I tried to understand my husband’s abusiveness towards me and I struggled to live with him. I told myself that his history of abuse (physical, emotional and sexual) was to blame. I thought he had no control of this because of history and I prayed for him to heal and the personal strength to overcome. But I made a realization. My husband did not act abusively towards his colleagues, the neighbors or anyone else. He saved his horrible, degrading behavior for me and the kids. So he really could control himself. He chose to be abusive to us and he chose to NOT be abusive to other people.
Please, please people… do yourself a huge solid, as the kids say, and research abusive and controlling people on the web and reveal the truth to yourself. The truth shall set you free. Free to live a life God intended for you. God has also given us free will and free choice. God expects us to love ourselves and He has given us permission and a directive to do so.
I left my husband after 20 years. I truly believe that I turned over every rock to heal our relationship and when I realized that I had no control to change another person, I decided to change myself and stop taking his abuse. I also truly believe that my choice to walk away from abusiveness will be a positive model for my children to have, in case they find themselves living with abuse in their futures. I also truly believe that my leaving my husband will ultimately be the best opportunity for him to begin a personal, spiritual journey of his own for the first time in his life, about how his abuse history has impacted his life and behavior.
You are a treasured child of God. You have control only of yourself. Choose to be happy and whole, a person with integrity. If your spouse cannot share your vision for your life, then too bad for him. God will give you the strength to do the right thing.
(USA) Although it’s hard to end a marriage… I do agree on what you have stated.
(NAMIBIA) My husband only married me to stay in my country. Now that he has his domicile and papers, he treats me even worse than before. I want to ask, what can I do about this, marriage of convenience, that is becoming worse daily? My first marriage was also abusive.
(USA) How heart wrenching abusive marriage is. My experience with mental toying,and manipulation- started early in the relationship. I would see things that he was doing and it would hurt me- like looking at other women or needing to be the center of attention- I didn’t get it but I didn’t ask him about it. I would hold it in until I could take no more-then I would get depressed or go into a state of rage-yelling, screaming or crying- this I would do alone so no one could see this monstrous girl- I would plead with God to forgive me for my wretched behavior and hope that I would never react like this in front of anyone.
I despised myself- for these feeings and emotions. My warped relationship continued on as I discovered more uncertainty about this man-He said He loved God and could teach me the word-He knew it so well, he helped me recognize the sinful choices in my life-and helped purge me of those things-materialisim, feminist ideology, negitivity. He introduced me to sex and thought that it was ok for us to be bed companions-especially after he attended co-ed parties where there were “{so many girls} Again, I found myself compromising the very truths that were designed to keep me pure.
I justified my behavior with him and became so engulfed in him I forgot what I believed-I would occasionally wake up and say no to him that this isn’t right, but I’d find myself getting more and more involved- I believed this was a man that I could love and believed he loved me. I could not have been more deceived.
We would see each other for a while and then he would break it off- I would become so depressed each time or have secret rage towards myself for not being the right girl for him- not pretty enough, thin enough, intelligent and so on. I thought that maybe God was disappointed in me too. I hated myself but couldn’t understand that I had been seduced- that I had met an impostor.
The impostor-seducer married the raging monster and the abuse has gone on for over ten years. I no longer hide my rage but lash out at him- with everything in me- I am so broken. I want to end this painful sadistic relationship once and for all- but the catch i neither of us believe in divorce and we have three wonderful children.
(UNITED STATES) My husband and I have been together for 20 years. He was the love of my life. He is 54 and I am 55. I thought I knew everything about him, but I was wrong. I did not know that he was an alcoholic. He used to drink 2 or 3 times a week, but now it’s 7 days a week and he verbally, emotionally & spiritually abuses me every day. This has been going on for 5 or 6 years. I try to be a good Christian wife and he even accuses me of going to church to do the pastor. He tells me if I don’t like it to leave. He also verbally abuses his children.
I haven’t seen our grand kids in almost 3 years. He talks filthy to me in the bed and I just cry. I have asked him to stop with no avail. I won’t let him control me or tell me I can’t talk to the few friends I do have and that irritates him so bad that he talks about them as well as my family the same way behind their backs. I don’t know what to do.
I pay and have paid all the household bills for the last 5 years and now am on unemployement and am still paying all the bills. He doesn’t appreciate anything I do for him. I can’t leave because I have nowhere to go and my unemployement is not going to last much longer. He has even started to say that he is going to kill himself because he doesn’t want to live anymore, and when I don’t respond he tries to make me feel like I am the cause of all his problems.
He left his job 5 years ago to work at home… (web sites) BAD STUFF that God nor me are pleased with and now only makes about $12,000.00 a year. He refuses to go back to working for someone else and says I need to get out and start bringing in a paycheck again. It’s hard for a woman past 55 and less than a highschool education to get a job around here. Why is all of this happening to me? I need strength that only God can give, and someone to help me pray because I’m so upset most of the time I can’t even pray.
(USA) I’m really surprised at what I’m reading. I too am in an abusive relationship but after many years of trying to make it work. Changing everything about myself that I possibly could and it never being good enough. I finally realized that this is not a marital problem. This is an individual problem and until my husband realizes that and gets the help he needs, nothing is ever going to change. My husband has decided to hang on to his issues and anger and after 7 counselors and still no change, I’m leaving him.
The peace that I have experienced since I’ve made this decision is phenomenal. For you women, to think that you’re pleasing God by staying in an abusive marriage, is sad and ridiculous. We are to suffer for the sake of the gospel, not for the sake of a crazy husband. I urge you women to seek and ask God what He would have you do. I was where you are for eleven years and for the sake of my sanity and my child, I’m leaving.
(S. AFRICA) Good Afternoon All. I need some help from you all. My wife filed for divorce 09/02/2010 after 3 years of marriage, we have a 17 month old son. I was emotionally and verbally abusing her the last 18 months or so. She tried numerous times to make me change, but the devil had a hold on me, so she finally gave up. I have recently given my life to the Lord and I have been going for counselling.
My wife says that she sees such a big change in me, but refuses to even entertain the thought of us getting back together. She says the thought freaks her out. I have decided to give everything to God and let Him fix our marriage.
If any of you could offer me any advice on how to show my wife that I have changed, I would greatly appreciate it. God Bless.
(USA) Wayne: Time, patience, consistency, being a good dad and a good role model for your son, living for Christ without it being a temporary “show” for your wife, which means seeking Christ and all He can and will do through you as you give yourself totally to Him, yielding yourself to have Him help you develop your character despite and through trying circumstances (because you have to know that the enemy of our faith will work overtime to try to get you to fall) — those are all ways to show your wife that you have changed.
None of these are the ways we WANT to subject ourselves to… but you asked, and I’m telling you, there is rarely a time when this kind of action isn’t what it will take. First and foremost, God wants to develop your His character in you, so you will be the man He created you to be, and in doing so, you will be a blessing to others, such as your wife and son.
Plus, your wife has to be willing to open her heart and spirit to you again… and that is no easy thing. It will take extreme sacrifice on her part, so I’m sure she wants to be careful and take the time she needs to “risk” opening herself up to trusting you again.
You emotionally abused her for 18 months and in that time, you left emotional wounds that will last a lifetime. She needs to see and experience safety from you over the long haul. And even then, it will be an uphill battle. But it is worth it. I’ve seen it work. But it’s tough. It’s tougher though, to leave devastation and “move on”… because that sure isn’t God’s way for us to live our lives as His children. Do your part and eventually, you will see fruit.
Whether she returns to you or not, I don’t know, but there is more of a chance of it if you do things God’s way, and don’t rush the process. And even if she doesn’t return, you will be doing the right thing.
Apply the perseverance that is talked about in James 1 and 2 Peter 1:1-10, along with “adding” what God says you should in those verses so you will be “effective.” This world needs more men of God (and women of God) to embrace what God is telling us to do — to communicate the Gospel as we live it out. Good fruit and good works are not grown overnight.
(S. AFRICA) Cindy, Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and advice. I will follow what you have said. I know that it is going to be a long uphill battle, I am prepared to fight for as long as it takes. God Bless
(USA) My husband doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong when he yells at me and calls me names and puts me down. The bad thing is that when he starts with me, I start back at him. It’s like I feel hurt and I want him to hurt like he’s hurting me. I want him to feel what he’s doing to me. I don’t know how to stop the cycle. I am praying for a change in me and for my husband. I don’t know what else to do. I don’t want to live like this the rest of my life.
(USA) First, stop responding in kind. When you do that, you are telling your husband with your very actions of perpetrating the very same abuse that it’s OK. After all, logically, as long as you are doing it, you are saying you are OK with it. That’s how you stop the cycle.
The only thing you can control are your actions. It’s unrealistic to expect that another person will feel what you feel. But if you want to give it a try, start with trying to feel what your husband he feeling when he engages in those put-downs, yelling, etc. What is it he’s feeling, that leads him to do that?
I really don’t believe we can feel what another person feels since we are all individuals. We can have some idea, but it will be very foggy. So you can try to feel what he’s feeling, or at least understand it. What does he fear when he’s acting this way? What is the underlying concern, or unmet need?
The other thing is you don’t have to just stand there and take it. You can set boundaries that if he’s going to name-call, you are not going to remain. If he wants to share, respectfully, something that is bothering him, you would be delighted to listen. But if he wants to call you, or even others that he works with, encounters in day to day life, etc, names, then you don’t wish to listen to such talk.
So stop engaging in the same behavior. It sends the message that you believe it to be acceptible behavior when you do the very same. Second, set boundaries, make them clear,and if you need to enforce them. If that doesn’t work, get professional help.
(U.S.A) I’m not sure want to do – he is so manipulative like his father. I know in my heart that he has been cheating on me. So secretive about where he travels every day. Everything is about his outward apprearance. I have caught him in lies, but he just denies everything.
(USA) If you already know the truth… make the choice. Can you love and know that he is doing what he does or can you heal and forgive and do much better? Inside my sister, you already know the truth.
(UNITED STATES) My Sisters, You read your word… You pray… Then you already know…Your worth is not measured in another’s ability to approve of you. Pray… Leave at the Lord’s feet… God did not sacrfice his son for you to live a life of unhappiness.
I have been abused… I sank deep and God heard my cry… My job is now to remind my women friends to NEVER LET GO… God created you and you are worth more than gold. Trust yourselves and what God gave you! Know when it’s time to leave… Don’t let your children learn what they see. Of course, the Holy Spirit can’t change it around. Have faith that ALL things can be forgiven… Even a marriage that you thought would last… Love yourselves…
(USA) My husband is verbally abusive. He belittles me infront of our young children, acts like I never listen and don’t know anything and I can never do anything right. Any little thing will set him of and then he yells about every little thing. I’m afraid for the kids (ages 8,3,2,) and they are starting to act out. Am I over reacting?
(USA) I am currently married to an emotionally, verbally and sometimes physically abusive husband. We’ve been married four (4) years and every day has been a disaster. He has a drug addiction and I am busy with my church. There is no talking to him, no going out, no affection, no compromise and barely sex. He is destructive and unbearable.
Claims to be saved and went to church with me once. I left him in March 2010 and he seems to be heel-kickin’ happy about his new life living with his family. It took me this long to get the courage to leave and I’ve been waiting for him to come to his senses and yet he doesn’t even call.
I eventually stopped calling him and I actually want to end this marriage and totally move on and not waste not one more month of my life with someone who obviously NEVER loved me.