“You’ve been there. Your spouse says something, whether intentional or not, and it’s like a stomach punch to the soul. You feel assaulted, rejected, embarrassed. Immediately a counterattack strategy begins to form in your mind, one that will rival D-Day in its overwhelming impact. You feel deep anger. “You want Read More…
How do you deal with the situation, where you feel that verbal abuse is being thrown at you within your marriage? And how do you know if this isn’t just a “normal” matter of one spouse disagreeing with the other? Plus, there is also the matter of emotional abuse. There’s Read More…
When we think of domestic violence, we don’t often hear about husbands being abused. It’s usually the wife who is the reported sufferer. Yet, there are many husbands who are the victims of spousal abuse. Yes, husband abuse is real; it does happen. So why don’t we hear about husbands Read More…
When we’re angry we’re often tempted to deal with our anger in two improper ways. We stuff it or spew it; or, put another way: we hide it or hurl it. There are angry stuffers and spewers. These are two extremes, two ruts on either side of the road. (Dr Read More…
Do you and/or your spouse yell at each other when you fight? Did you know that yelling shuts down your ability to reason in healthy ways with your spouse? “When you yell at someone there’s a part of the brain that shuts down. It’s the part of the brain that Read More…
If Cindy and I (Steve) are going to be transparent with you we did not fight in healthy ways earlier in our marriage. In fact, our approach was quite toxic. It was all about “winner take all.” Does that ring familiar with how you and your spouse argue? If so, Read More…
It’s confession time. We did not fight in healthy ways with each other in the first years of our marriage. In fact, our approach was toxic. It was all about, “Winner takes all.” And that is anything but healthy. We yelled, screamed and acted childishly. And we are not proud Read More…
A few weeks ago we wrote about the War of Words that goes on in many marriages. This week we’re going to touch on the destructiveness of explosive anger within marriage. One can lead to the other, or be entirely separate if that “war” is waged in healthy ways. However, Read More…
Anger properly channeled and controlled is a good thing —a God-given thing. Like a gas flame on the stove, anger is not inherently destructive. It’s a legitimate emotion that has a legitimate function. But it can be helpful or harmful, depending on how we use it. If we don’t learn Read More…
Which couple, when they walk down the aisle ever thinks to themselves, “I’m going to get so angry that I’m going to hurt and emotionally damage my partner in a very deep and real way someday!”? Yet sadly, we all deal with anger in marriage. Every one of us gets Read More…
