The following are a number of quotes that Marriage Missions individually posted on our Facebook site as marriage tips. They can still be used in a variety of ways:
• A church, ministry, counseling organization, or an individual can use them to share on their Facebook site, if desired.
• They can be used as points of discussion in marriage classes, mentoring, counseling, or coaching situations.
• Couples or individuals can use these quotes to discuss or consider the issues raised, allowing the Holy Spirit, our Wonderful Counselor, to speak further to them.
They make great discussion points for those couples who want to use them for conversation starters for a 22 Minute Date. (The guidelines are posted in the Romantic Idea topic.).Just make sure, if you use these quotes in a dating situation, you don’t get into heated arguments over them.
The point in sharing these marriage tips is to build marital relationship bridges, not construct walls of contention, causing a breakdown of communication. You can constructively disagree with these tips and with each other, and still learn more about each other and grow closer together, in the process.
It is our sincere hope that the tips below will help marriages. As you read them, consider:
1. Do you agree or disagree? Why or why not?
2. Do you have further thoughts on the issue, to apply personally or as a general rule? (If you’re reading them with someone else, please share.)
3. Do any scriptures come to mind, which apply to the marriage tip given? (If possible, please share.)
The following are quotes to note for your use (each paragraph stands on its own —for your knowledge, the original sources are noted afterward in parenthesis).
Please Note:
• Differences are healthy but they’re also frustrating. The biggest frustrations come when we think of opposites in terms of right and wrong. What that means is ‘I’m right, you’re wrong.’ This is like trying to convince a Norwegian that Egyptian is the right language or someone who’s Japanese that Spanish is best. It’s not an issue of right or best —just different. (Dr Steve Stephens)
• Just because you promised to love, honor, and perhaps pick up his (her) socks doesn’t mean you don’t sometimes feel like stuffing a sock in his (or her) mouth. But as the angry feelings come, remember to let them go until you can talk to your spouse without yelling. (Nancy Moser)Rid yourselves of all malice and deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. (1 Peter 2:1)
• Don’t sweat the small stuff. Mark puts his feet on the glass-topped coffee table. I rarely close a cabinet door. We’ve tried to change and when we remember to work harder at pleasing each other, I close the doors and he takes his feet off the coffee table. By remembering God’s words in Ephesians 4:2, “Be patient, bearing with one another in love,” we allow each other those foibles. They’re not important. (Nancy Moser)
• Marriage exposes and reveals who you really are when you enter into that covenant relationship. All the hidden places, and yes, defects too, will be made obvious. You’ll be “found out.” Transformation is at the heart of marriage. Scripture says we’re to be conformed to the image of Christ (Romans 8:29) and Christ is to be formed in us. (Galatians 4:19) The results should be evident in the marriage relationship. (Dr Norm Wright)
Also Note:
• We didn’t choose our parents, our siblings, our aunts and uncles. And our kids didn’t choose us. The only kin I’ve ever chosen was [my husband] Mark. And he chose me. Our parents will pass away. Our precious children will grow up and move on. But Mark and I are in it for life. Proverbs 3:3 says, “Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.” (Nancy Moser)
• Marriage takes work, and learning to share deep feelings and attitudes is part of the work necessary to enjoy intimacy in marriage. Jeff and I frequently remind other couples that when they got married, their spouse became the right person! According to Scripture, when you said, “I do,” you became a one-flesh union, and, “Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” (Matthew 19:6) (Cheryl Scruggs)
• Ask yourself, “Does my marriage qualify as a role model?” What can you begin doing to have it stand out in a way that would make others around you see your marriage & want to emulate it? Are you praying and thinking about ways you can do these things? The sooner we realize we’re called to be examples in our marriages, the sooner we’ll begin to follow God’s script and seeing our marriages grow in new ways. (Dr Norm H Wright)
• Here’s the crazy thing: the more we stop trying to get each other to be compatible, the happier our marriage has been. Instead of our differences being insurmountable obstacles to happiness, they’re simply facts that make our relationship interesting—aggravating at times, to be sure, but ultimately more fascinating. (Mark Galli)
More Quotes to Note:
• Everyone who marries will encounter a season when the weight of the relationship ends up on his or her shoulders. Spouses get sick, distracted, selfish or overworked, etc. Life happens, the weight shifts, and suddenly we find ourselves wondering, Is this how God meant it to be? The choices we make during this difficult time are critical to the health of our marriage. (Susie Larson) PLEASE choose God’s way, not man’s.
• Spend time with friends but NEVER FORGET YOUR FIRST LOVE. Your spouse must take top priority, though this shouldn’t minimize the significance of friends. Don’t ignore friendships and more importantly, don’t ignore God or your spouse …Friendship is special. Keep it that way and don’t let friends undermine your character or your marriage. (Dr Steve Stephens)
• There are deep, spiritual ties to the simple, daily ways we treat our spouses and family. God designed marriage to have far more significance than our current culture estimates! Call me crazy, but I genuinely believe that if as Christians, we whole-heartedly sought God’s face and design in the area of family, that within one generation our world would look like a very different place! If we could all catch the vision of significance that a load of laundry done with the right heart, or a couple getting up early to pray with and for their family everyday might have, our lives and worlds would change! May God grant you His grace to see the significance He has hidden like valuable treasure in the simple journey of being a family. (E. A. Motl)
More Marriage Tips:
• Words and sentences can be used for good or evil. The apostle Paul wrote, ‘Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.‘ Our talk is either unhealthy or healthy. Unhealthy talk pulls a marriage apart, whereas healthy talk brings it closer together. So watch what you say. (Dr Steve Stephens)
• In his book Love Busters, Dr. Willard Harley refers to the “monsters” of criticizing, evaluating, and acting superior as “disrespectful judgment.” When disrespectful judgment takes place, relationships will fail. Strong families banish such “love busters” and don’t allow them to destroy the good in their homes. (Joe Beam) Rid yourselves of all malice and deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. (1 Peter 2:1)
Additionally Note:
• A good, lifelong marriage doesn’t just happen. …There isn’t any magic, mystery, or luck to having a lasting satisfying marriage. The path for such a marriage is well traveled; many have walked it. It is so well marked that any couple can have a successful marriage if they follow the path. What is the path? Jesus said, ‘I am the way the truth, and the life. No man comes to the Father but through me’ (John 14:6). Jesus is the path. Faith in Him and obedience to Him and to the Bible is the path for a godly, lifelong marriage. Jesus called us not only to be believers, but also to be His disciples. We cannot follow Jesus without submitting to His discipline –without living a disciplined life. Jesus instructs us to count the cost of following Him. (See Matthew 7:21-29; Matthew 8:19-22; Matthew 10:32-42; and Matthew 16:24-25; Luke 6:46-49; Luke 14:25-35.) In the same way, having a godly, lifelong relationship with your spouse comes at a cost.” (Mike Williamson)
• Plan a daily sharing time with your spouse. Couples who have a “sit down, look at me, let’s talk” time each day have a higher level of intimacy than those couples who simply talk “whenever and whatever.” So, what do you talk about in this daily sharing time? Just keep it simple. Here’s what I call the daily minimum requirement: “Tell me 3 things that happened today? How you feel about each of them?” (Dr Gary Chapman)
More Tips for Your Use:
• I’ve told couples not to go to people at work and hang out their dirty laundry—but sometimes they get more empathy from bars than from our churches! Sad but true. People who aren’t believers, as well as some believers, will tell you to get a divorce! Believers must stand in the gap and do what it takes to make a difference. We must help our churches become more intuitive, caring and concerned about others. (JB and Shugie Collingsworth)
• As Christians, we have divine help available. In God’s power we can forgive as He forgives and love as He loves. Covenant marriage does not depend on human perfection —it is based on steadfast love worked out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit giving us the ability to give and forgive. An intimate relationship with God is the key to turning dreams into realities. (Dr Gary Chapman)
• A marriage requires a commitment of time, energy, and resources just to survive, let alone thrive and grow. No one would expect a garden to grow without a gardener giving it the proper care. But many people expect their marriage to grow and thrive without putting in time, energy, and money. Don’t be foolish. Every single day you need to do some things that will strengthen your marital relationship. (Gil Stieglitz)
• Every one of us is married to an imperfect spouse. We confront different trials, temptations and different struggles—but each of us faces the same reality: living as imperfect people, in an imperfect world, with an imperfect spouse. Learning to love, appreciate and to be thankful for that imperfect spouse is one of the most soul-transforming things you can do. I urge you to remain committed to it today. (Gary Thomas)
Added Marriage Helps:
• A prayer used at weddings: “May they not expect perfection that belongs alone to you, God. May they minimize each other’s weaknesses. May they be swift to praise and magnify each other’s strengths. And may they see each other through kind and patient eyes. At the end of their days, may they be found hand in hand, thanking God for each other, serving you happily and faithfully until one shall lay the other into your arms.” (David E. Hankins)
• There will be failures in every marriage. Although our covenants with each other have been seriously made, we will sometimes fail to live up to those covenant commitments. A good marriage is not destroyed by some failures, but a good marriage will be destroyed if we are not willing to deal with our failures and renew our covenant. (Dr Gary Chapman)
• It’s easy to forget that “love returns in waves… you have to wait it out.” Love is like the tides of the ocean. Sometimes they come in and passion is high. You feel the love and the relationship is wonderful. Then there are times when the tide is out. The relationship is dry and lifeless. You wonder if the tide will ever return. But if you’re patient and stay at the beach, romance can return to feel love again. (Dr Steve Stephens)
• James 3:2 lays out the human condition as clearly as anyone can: “We all stumble in many ways.” Because of the reality of sin, every marriage has difficulties. We’re not marrying gods and goddesses! We’re marrying people that the Bible promises will stumble in many ways. Once I accept that marriage is inherently difficult, I’ll no longer resent it when my marriage is difficult. (Gary Thomas)
Prayerfully Consider:
• If I don’t watch out, my mouth will spew all sorts of stray words into the air. Sometimes the words cut like a dagger and dagger wounds heal very slowly. It’s like I’ve told my kids, “Just because it pops into your head doesn’t mean it should pop out of your mouth.” That’s good advice. Proverbs 29:11 says, “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.” Don’t be a fool. (Nancy, Moser)
• In Marriage: “Virtually all couples silently ask each other, ‘Will you be a safe haven for my heart? Can I trust you to be there for me when I reach for you? Will you consider me and respond in the best interest of us both? Despite all our hardships and conflicts, do you really care about and value me?’ The answers to these questions are crucial.” (Dr Sharon Morris) May God help you to be the partner your spouse truly needs.
• Marriage is an anchor for your family, so investing in your marriage is investing in your family. Carve out time for two. For example: -Everyday, grab 5-10 minutes when you can touch base with each other. Share a cup of tea or coffee before the kids get up. -Plan regular dates. Our favorite is a “walk and talk” date. -Plan a 24-hour getaway. If your kids protest, tell them you’re doing it for their own good. (Dave and Claudia Arp)
Consider and Discuss:
• Why did Jesus choose 12 men with different personalities to serve as His disciples? I believe it was because he did not desire uniformity but, rather, unity —where each complemented the other as they worked as a team to accomplish God’s purposes. Likewise, in marriage there is a difference between unity and uniformity… The differences are there so that we complement each other and strengthen our effectiveness in serving Christ. (Dr Gary Chapman)
• Marriage presents us with countless opportunities to choose whether we’re going to be sacrificial, unselfish and loving or demanding, selfish and self-absorbed. (Kay Warren) “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others [including your spouse] better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4)
• Underneath every message your spouse communicates is a river of emotions that you can tap into. Don’t look for these feelings to be clearly labeled —they aren’t. The signs are subtle, hidden beneath the verbiage and the body language. Your spouse may not say, ‘I’m frustrated,’ for example, but he or she might reveal this in tone or demeanor. (Drs Les and Leslie Parrott)
• Communication comes in two varieties: unhealthy talk and healthy talk. Unhealthy talk is easy —just open your mouth and let the words roll out. These hurtful words can ultimately kill a relationship. Although unhealthy talk is deadly, healthy talk brings new life to a marriage. (Dr Steve Stephens) “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” (Proverbs 18:21)
Here Are Some Challenges:
• We call upon you to let your “happily-married” light shine. Happily marrieds are not “perfect marrieds,” but they have learned some of what it takes to create happiness in marriage. We encourage you to find ways to let people know that you love being married! Let those who are not yet married know that the adventure of marriage is worth the effort — that the rewards are worth the price! (Laura Brotherson)
• When you get married, create your Marriage Flag. Fly it at your wedding. Think of it as akin to establishing a country with its own mission statement and constitution. Talk about what it stands for and what it represents. You can add amendments from time to time, but establish the entity, and then protect it with intentionality. Do this for your marriage and for your kids. Where would they be without a country? (Anonymous)
• God said, “We made man in our image.” They call it the amagio dei. That means the man and wife are equal. You never the see the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost fighting over Who is going to have first billing. The Bible tells us that the Father exalts the Son; the Son exalts the Father; and the Holy Spirit exalts the Father and the Son. This is our model. (Pastor J. Ford) May you continually model God’s love in your marriage.
Please Note These Marriage Quotes:
• In order for a marriage to not only survive, but also to be fulfilling and successful, there needs to be three parties involved: the husband, the wife, and God. The reason marriages have issues in the first place is because every married couple is made up of two imperfect people. One imperfect human plus another imperfect human equals one imperfect marriage. However, if you add the presence of a perfect God into the mix of two imperfect people, then you then have unlimited possibilities for growing closer to the perfection God intended for the marriage relationship.
Whether that happens or not is determined by how frequently and fervently God is invited to reign in the hearts of both the husband and wife. It has to do with being willing to have three agree. You and your spouse can agree about something, but if can still be an issue if GOD doesn’t agree with it… If it’s a point of contention with God, it will always be an issue in your lives together. It will inhibit all that God wants to do in each of you and your marriage. You may agree on something together, but if it doesn’t agree with God, it opens the door for problems that undermines your marriage. (Stormie Omartian)
• Marriage is more than sharing a life together; it’s building a life together. What you do now is for both, and what is said for now is for both. Your purpose is now for the kingdom and giving glory to the image of God. (Dr Norm Wright) May your marriage reveal and reflect the heart of Christ in all you do and say in the way in which you live together as husband and wife.
Prayerfully Consider:
• Marriage is the foundation of the family and the family is the foundation of society. If we strengthen marriage, we strengthen the family, we strengthen the children and we strengthen the community. If your goal is to help improve the world, marriage is as good a place as any to start. (Diane Sollee)
• When you encounter problems you need to talk about to your spouse, “begin by approaching your spouse at the right time and in the right manner. Choose a time when he or she is not distracted or too stressed or tired. And approach your spouse in a non-confrontational manner. An angry tone of voice or condescending ‘parent to child’ approach will only cause him or her to shut down.” (Mitch Temple)
• What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. Plus, you quarrel and fight. (James 4:1-2) Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out. (Proverbs 17:14)
• You don’t marry one person. You marry three: the person you think they are, the person they are, and the person they are going to become as a result of being married to you. (Richard Needham)
• Great wedding advice: “Make love as often as you can and pay off your credit card debt every month. Put up a little sign somewhere where you will both see it everyday that says, ‘Make love, not debt.'” (Bill Doherty) “Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor [spouse] has fulfilled the law.” (Romans 13:8)
More Advice:
• Conflict is not a contest or a game to be won by the more clever or ruthless partner. Even if you are right or your way is best, what good is it if you win the conflict and jeopardize the marriage? (Dr Steve Stephens) “If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.” (Galatians 5:15)
• Conflict does not need to drive a wedge between you and your spouse. It can actually weld you together through closer understanding. Proverbs says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” If a conflict is approached with a healthy attitude, then both partners are sharpened. Each spouse respects the other when the disagreement is resolved. Both will have grown in their relationship. (Dr Steve Stephens)
• I love “folded” potato chips. When John and I eat potato chips together, he never says a word. He just smiles and hands the folded chips from his bag to me as he comes to them. We smile and know… Each one of those potato chips is a love note to me. (Linda Gilden)
• Marriage brings out a lot of bad attitudes in each of us. Biblical God-centered love in action is what makes a marriage a success. …God teaches us what love is, not based on human expectations, but on God-centered love. (Gary Thomas) “Let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.” (1 John 4:7-8)
Please Consider that:
• Couples need to make the most of little opportunities, even if it’s only 10 to 20 minutes here or there. If couples wait for the semiannual vacation trip to connect, they will drift apart — two weeks a year is not enough together time. To keep their marriage healthy, couples need to connect every day [even if it’s just finding “pockets of time where we can” together]. (Kirk Cameron)
• A soulmate marriage doesn’t mean that you’ve found someone you match up with on all the issues, on everything. That would be the most deadly, dull thing to even imagine. Instead, it means you’ve found someone and they don’t ever want to blow out that little light inside you and you feel the same way about them. (Diane Sollee) We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love (Tom Robbins)
• Understand that the heart of the problem in marriage is always the problem of the heart… The only One who can change the heart of a sinful man or woman and cause him or her to love unconditionally is Almighty God. A supernatural thing needs to happen. Without a new heart, all the great advice in the world will do nothing. (Kirk Cameron)
• When we begin to feel disgruntled in our marriage, faulty thoughts begin to formulate about our spouse or our marriage. We begin to believe the lies swirling through our head. When this begins to happen, it’s important to remember 2 Corinthians 10:5: “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (Cheryl Scruggs)
More Tips:
• The reason marriages have issues is because every married couple is made up of 2 imperfect people. 1 imperfect human plus another imperfect human equals 1 imperfect marriage. However, if you add the presence of a perfect God into this imperfect mix, you then have unlimited possibilities for growing closer to the perfection God intended for the marriage relationship (Stormie Omartian) That is, IF you participate with Him.
• Remember, you’re not alone: “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9) God is waiting to be consulted on all the decisions of our lives—quitting or taking a job, moving to a new city, or having children. In marriage, three heads are definitely better than one: husband, wife, and God. (Nancy Moser)
• We’re warned to ‘guard yourself in spirit, and do not break faith.’ Why do we need to be vigilant as to what enters our spirit? Because we dare not allow bitterness, apathy, lust, unforgiveness, anger, or unfaithfulness to enter our hearts. They are the unseen, often undetected terrorists that will infiltrate and sabotage the sacredness of our marriage vows. So post a guard at the door of your heart. (Robert and Cheryl Moeller)
• All our lives “sin” has taught us Pride, selfishness, sense of entitlement… I believe God designed marriage to bring us closer to him —to also teach us to be better servants, to gain respect, to strengthen our values, and learn to surrender. Most get married to “Be Loved,” but to stay married we must learn “To Love,” unconditionally as God Loves us. (Mark Cornelius)
Additional Facebook Quotes to Consider:
• Within your marriage, make sure you’re living out “clear, biblically-based principles” within your relationship and are not just going along with crowd mentality. “Even among Christians, we have sometimes misinterpreted the Bible by reading our cultural patterns into the biblical text rather than letting the Bible be the standard whereby we measure our cultural norms.” (Dr Gary Chapman) Do things God’s way, not man’s.
• I believe if we understand the level of commitment God requires of us in marriage, we would do anything and everything we could not just to make our marriage survive, but to make them successful. You see, a Christian marriage goes beyond an earthly partnership. It’s a commitment involving three individuals —the husband, the wife, and Jesus Christ. (Dr Norm Wright)
• If you are a pastor, let me encourage you not to attempt doing all of the marriage enrichment in your church. Pray that God will raise up a lay couple who will take that responsibility. Lead the church to put monies in the budget to send this couple to marriage enrichment seminars and conferences where they can sharpen their skills in leading marriage enrichment. (Dr Gary Chapman)
• Being married creates the opportunity for change. When you’re married, you find out how much you need to improve yourself. It is prideful and selfish for anyone to get married and think they don’t need to change in any way. Each of us needs to change in many ways, some more than others, but God will start with the one who is willing. And the good news is, this is where His blessings will be directed first. (Stormie Omartian)
Keep in Mind:
• God never said we wouldn’t have problems. He said we will. And when you’re married you will not only have your problems, you’ll have your spouse’s problems as well. But the good news is that Jesus overcame those problems for us. When we align ourselves with Him in prayer and obedience, He’ll help us to either rise above our problems or walk through them. He’ll give you the power to be more than a conqueror. (Stormie Omartian)
• As changes occur in your lives, it is your challenge as a married couple to use them to draw yourselves closer together rather than allow them to tear you apart. Throughout your married life you will suffer losses —some small, some large, some even devastating. …How you respond to each will affect your marriage relationship and the story your marriage tells [to a world that needs to know our God]. (Norm Wright)
• Common courtesy plays a big role in happy marriages. People who are permanently married are polite to one another. They don’t want to hurt one another’s feelings, and they don’t try to make the other one feel humiliated. People who are married for life are extremely kind to one another. (Frank Pittman) “Love is kind… It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered…” (1 Corinthians 13)
• Is there anything more beautiful in life than a young couple clasping hands and hearts in the path of marriage? Yes, it’s an old man and an old woman finishing their journey together on that path. Their hands are gnarled but still clasped. Their faces are seamed and their hearts are physically bowed and tired but still strong with love for one another. Yes, there’s a more beautiful thing than young love. Old love. (Unknown)
More Advice to Consider:
• Love is not a feeling, but a choice we make daily. I choose to love Debi by how I treat her, prefer her and lay down my life for her. Left to myself this would be impossible, for the weed of selfishness would choke out all my efforts. But God, who is rich in mercy, helps me love her the way He has loved me. (Debi Walter)
• Sheila and I celebrated our 30th anniversary. She was asked her for our secret. She answered, “On my wedding day I decided to make a list of 10 of Tim’s faults which I’d always overlook. I figured I could live with 10!” When she was asked which faults she listed, she said, “I never got around to listing them. Instead, every time he does something that makes me mad, I say, ‘Lucky for him, it’s 1 of the 10!’” (Tim Hudson)
• “God has chosen to give us His Spirit that helps us say ‘no’ to ungodliness, to be good! As we consider goodness as it pertains to our spouse –any evidence of good that we see is a fruit of God’s Spirit at work in them. Why not take time to tell them the good work you see in them? After all, God took the time as He was creating the world to observe and declare what He saw as ‘good.’ Shouldn’t we do likewise?” (Tom and Debi Walter)
Tips to Note:
• Guard your heart for your marriage partner. I’m tempted to go to all the buildings downtown and put up a sign, “DANGER ZONE: Men and Women at Work.” Today’s workplace is the most common breeding ground for affairs. It’s the proximity and collegiality —the intimacy of working together, not bad marriages, that is the slippery slope to infidelity. (Shirley Glass)
• How easy it is to act as if husband and wife are the only relevant parties in a marriage. Marriage is ultimately about God. Marriage is amazing not because it brings people joy, or allows for a nurturing environment for children, or because it stabilizes society (though it does all those things), it’s awesome because God designed it to display His glory. The focus of a thriving marriage is the glory of God. (Dave Harvey)
• To have a flourishing marriage we must say no to some good things. Difficulty comes when we must decline interesting, and desirable people and activities to cultivate a great marriage. But don’t over-commit your time, so you have nothing to give in an emergency. When strains come on the marriage (and they will), there’s no time, energy, or resources to give. What usually results is a meltdown of the marriage. (Gil Stieglitz)
• With intentionality, MAKE time to connect with your spouse. “All the ‘little things’ of life can get in the way—you know what they are, I don’t need to list them.” Don’t allow that which is less important shove you away from spending quality time with your marriage partner. “You will never ‘find’ time for anything. If you want time, you will make it.” (Charles Buxton) “There is a time for everything under heaven.”
Additionally Note:
• Your child is influenced by the state of your marriage connection. The more warmth and love between you and your spouse, the happier and healthier your child is. The more alienated your relationship, the more your child can be affected. This truth is a result of God’s design. God created marriage to connect people in a deep way that reflects His passion for people. Children are a fruit and response to that love and connection. (Dr. Henry Cloud)
• “Anger is only one letter short of danger.” In your anger do not sin. (Ephesians 4:26) If you have played the fool and exalted yourself, or if you have planned evil, clap your hand over your mouth! For as churning the milk produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife. (Proverbs 30:32-33) It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel. (Proverbs 20:3)
• There’s a woman who attended our church every Sunday loving and worshipping Jesus. She’d just divorced her husband. I asked why. She said, “Because he called me fat! I hate him! I want him to die and go to hell!” Seriously!? I think people are delusional. You can clap, sing, praise God and think you’re a Christian all you want, but the truth is you’ll have to answer to God for your lack of forgiveness. (Mark Gungor)
• Marriage reveals my spiritual weaknesses. It gives me the opportunity to master patience, forgiveness, faithfulness, goodness, and other virtues God is trying to build in us. In fact, that might be God’s most important purpose for your marriage — to help you to grow up. (Gary Thomas)
Consider:
• 1 Corinthians 7:12-14 (The Message): For you who are in mixed marriages—Christian married to non-Christian—we have no explicit command from the Master. So this is what you must do. If you are a man with a wife who is not a believer but who still wants to live with you, hold on to her. If you are a woman with a husband who is not a believer but he wants to live with you, hold on to him. The unbelieving husband shares to an extent in the holiness of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is likewise touched by the holiness of her husband.
• Tami and I have committed to never use the word DIVORCE. Just saying the word opens the option. Threatening it cheapens our integrity. Therefore, we strike the word from our vocabulary. We’re both committed to work thru any problem and grow deeper in our relationship (year by year). This doesn’t guarantee we’ll always feel wonderful about each other. What it does mean is that our love is more than a feeling. It is a choice. (Dr Steve Stephens)
• When there is love in a marriage, there is harmony in the home. When there is harmony in the home, there is contentment in the community. Additionally, when there is contentment in the community, there is prosperity in the nation. When there is prosperity in the nation, there is peace in the world. (Chinese Proverb) Love one another as I have loved you. By this all men will know you are my disciples, if you love one another. -Jesus
Quotes to Note:
• Have you noticed how you drift away from your spouse when you don’t make time to talk and interact on purpose, not just out of necessity? Have you noticed how you drift away from God when you forget to pray and are so busy you don’t make time to meet with Him? Just as we need to be intentional in our relationship with God to mature spiritually, we have to do the same in our marriages to grow closer to our spouse. (Dineen Miller)
• Our marriages are an earthly representation of our relationship to Christ, as his bride. When we see our marriages as training ground, we grow in our relationship with God. We can’t keep living on milk. We have to take a bite of the solid stuff to grow in our marriages and faith. Remaining in infancy keeps us from fully experiencing who God is, who our spouses are, and what our marriages and faith lives can become. (Dineen Miller)
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