STANDING FOR THE HEALING OF MY MARRIAGE
I am standing for the healing of my marriage.
I will not give up, give in,
give out, nor give over
’til the healing takes place.
I made a vow; I said the words; and I gave the pledge.
I gave a ring; I took a ring; and I gave myself.
I trusted GOD, and said the words, and meant the words:
in sickness and in health,
in sorrow and in joy,
for better or for worse,
for richer or for poorer,
in good times and in bad…
so NOW I am STANDING.
I will NOT sit down, let down, slow down,
calm down, fall down, look down nor be down
’til the BREAKDOWN is TORN DOWN!
I refuse to put my eyes on outward circumstances,
or listen to prophets of doom.
I will not buy into what is trendy, worldly, popular,
convenient, easy, quick,
thrifty, or advantageous.
Nor will I settle for a cheap imitation of God’s real thing.
I will not seek to lower God’s standard,
twist God’s will, rewrite God’s word,
violate God’s covenant,
or accept what God hates—which is namely… divorce!
In a world of filth, I will stay pure.
Even though surrounded by lies I will speak the truth.
Where hopelessness abounds,
I will hope in GOD.
Where revenge is easier, I will bless instead of curse;
and where the odds are stacked against me,
I will trust in God’s faithfulness.
I am a STANDER!
And I will not acquiesce, compromise, quarrel or quit…
I have made the choice.
I have set my face, entered the race, believed the Word,
and TRUSTED GOD for the outcome.
I will allow neither the reaction of my spouse,
nor the urging of my friends,
the advice of my loved ones,
economic hardship,
nor the prompting of the devil
to make me let up, slow up, blow up, or give up
UNTIL MY MARRIAGE IS HEALED.
This Poem:
The above poem, which centers on the position of standing for your marriage, is featured on the web site Rejoiceministries.org. Rejoice Ministries has an outstanding outreach that encourages and gives hope to those who are standing in the gap believing God for a miracle in their marriages.
You can read the testimonies and the stories of restored marriages on their web site:
To read them, please:
Additionally, as you are standing:
If you are standing for the healing of your marriage because of betrayal, standing in prayer is important! Below is a link to a web site where you will find prayers posted that you can use. We encourage you to use them to help in your healing. You can pray them word-for-word or use them as an outline—adding more as you feel led.
We pray they help you:
• 5 PRAYERS WHEN YOU FEEL BETRAYED
And when you are standing, believing God will help you, despite the fact that the marriage looks like it is over, here are several prayers you can use. Again, you can pray these prayers word-for-word because they express your heart. Or you can use them as a stepping stone to add or adapt them in some way to express the cries of your own heart.
• 3 PRAYERS THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR MARRIAGE
May God bless you as you stand, pray, and believe!
If you have additional tips you can share to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
Filed under: Save My Marriage Spiritual Matters Surviving Infidelity
(USA) I am a stander! Blessed be the power of the blood of Jesus that covers my marriage today. I am a Stander!
(USA) I left my husband after having a series of nervous breakdowns. The pressure of getting married and having children from previous relationships are some of the reasons I broke down. I also wasn’t taking care of myself like I should have been. Me and my husband got married very quickly after dating a short period of time as we had grown up together.
During my breakdown I destroyed some of our property, which my husband has yet to forgive me for. I also wrote him a scathing letter and posted it on his website (I am letting you know how hopeless my situation seems, but I am still STANDING). Up until that point, my husband had been supportive.
Once he knew how I felt about some parts of our marriage at the time, he was “done”. Afterall, Proverb 12:4 states “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.” I rotted my husband’s bones with my actions. I blamed a lot of my breakdown on his lack of support and sex drive. We were both unemployed and spending all day together, which was not healthy. I could not convince my husband of that. There are so many reasons why that I would be here all day posting. I wish I found this site prior to getting married for my education and edification.
After my last breakdown, I left my husband and moved in with my parents. My daughter now lives with her birth father. My husband and I never stopped speaking. He hugs and kisses me when we see each other. We continued intimacy until I began to realize I was using intimacy to keep his attention sometimes. That’s how I stumbled upon this site. I wasn’t sure if I should remain intimate throughout our separation. My husband will not discuss anything “deep” with me, but is very responsive and affectionate with me. There is a grave disconnect he refuses to acknowledge. This disconnect is the threatening factor in our marriage. I said so many hurtful things to him, he is finding it too hard to forgive, but doesn’t want a divorce. It is a horrible limbo, but I decided to STAND. God can and is completely healing me and our marriage. I call those things that be not as though they were according to Romans 4:17.
I felt as though I had lost my entire world just a few months ago, then the Word crept in my life. I had forsaken church, neglected a relationship with my savior, depended on doctors and drugs instead of Jesus. I put my trust in man and not God. I had an ephiphany, not a mere breakdown. Since I have been reading my Bible before turning on a television or speaking to anyone, my life has changed. My separation is still painful, which is how I ended up here, but I am so glad I found this prayer to STAND on. There are so many self help marriage saving solutions out there, but this prayer and the article on GLEANING on this site have been like a cold glass of water in the middle of Death Valley to me.
It confirmed I cannot promise my way back into my marriage, I cannot whine, beg, cry, demand my way back into my marriage. I cannot manipulate or game my way back into my marriage, but I can stand on the Word of God and that will get me back into my marriage and not only that, but it can make the dry places refreshed. The same resurrection power that raised Jesus from the dead is the same yesterday, today and forever and can do the same for my marriage. I speak life to the “dry bones” in my marriage. I refuse to allow unforgiveness to tear us apart.
I have been separated for 8 months now, seeing my husband each week with hugs and kisses and this madness will end. I am taking care of myself with excercise and proper medication. I am working on returning to work and most importantly I am drawing nearer to God. Nothing replaces the prayer and the Word in your life. I have my daily affirmations, a prayer journal and determination that STANDING is going to restore, renew and heal my marriage.
I have also decided intimacy is not for separation, not in my case at least. If he wants or needs “intimacy” he can have it INSIDE our marriage, not waving from the outside.
Love,
Michele STANDING for family and marriage restoration
(RSA) Amen to that!
(USA) Hello, I have a issue because I have been separated twice. We currently are separated again due to not getting along and financial stress. When we separated I didn’t know who this man was anymore that I married. What I didn’t understand is when a man and woman are separated, things are totally different in getting back together. My husband wouldn’t even speak to me, only through text messages. It has been a 1 year as of 8/31/2008. I wonder everyday if he will file for a legal separation or even a divorce. I don’t want a divorce so that’s why I won’t file. Do you think I should just file for the divorce and stop waiting?
(USA) Are you still standing?
(UNITED STATES) All children are unique and respond differently to divorce. Depending on the nature of the child – age, emotional maturity, happiness, resiliency to trauma – the easier to more difficult it will be for children to accept a divorce.
(USA) No do not file for d*v*rc*! God hates d*v*rc* and so do you. Keep praying and standing for your marriage. Use this time that he is away to get closer to Jesus. Lean only on Him and do not listen to those that follow society’s norm of moving on. Let God change your heart and then ask Him to let your spouse get to see the changes in you. He will start coming around more if he sees that you are not the contentious woman he left behind. Do not let the circumstances dictate your decisions. Keep your eyes on Him. I speak to you from the same situation and I forgave my husband and I only see the my mistakes and they are many. At first I prayed to God to change him and one day He showed me that I needed to change and allow God to work on my dead marriage. It will be worth the wait.
Sincerely
(USA) I just read you comment for someone else, and it only makes me realize even more in my time of trouble that my husband and I are going through this. (He is saying that the “title” scares him and he just wants to get a legal separation and possibly a divorce then start back to dating.) I say no that is ludicrous. I know that God has a big future for our lives together (even when we have both been prophesied over by more than three different people). To be short and sweet… I am not going to give up the fight and I have to keep myself surrounded around people who know Christ and have a relationship with Him.
Thank you for that comment… reading these comments only inspire me to keep pressing forward when I want to give up.
(USA) Patricia, is your marriage healed?
(USA) I and my husband have problems having a child naturally and we had planned in IVF and adopting if it did not work. My husband lost his job, we had to forclose on our house because we will not be able to afford it and it will affect the time of our plan for IVF.
I got frustrated and he did too and we start arguments and he wanted to leave with everything and I called the police to stop him from doing that and he has a hard time letting that go even now that we are trying to work things out. I am a christain and I believe GOD hates divorce but I am human and I worry if my husband will ever forgive me for going to the extend of call the police on him. He belives I wanted to get him locked up because I said I was scared when he kicked the coffee table down. Please for a christain advice on this . Thanks
(USA) My husband does not live at home right now & has filed for d*v*r*e. I also hate the word so won’t even write it. Very little communication from him, although we still go to the same church & he still attends. We are both Christians, so this is not an option to me at all. Please pray for restoration. Any encouraging words would be welcomed.
(UNITED STATES) 6 years ago I "stumbled" upon this website and printed off this prayer. I’m back again because I am standing with two of my friends for their marriages.
In 2003, I learned that my husband was having an inappropriate relationship with another woman. I was very upset because I could see that things would have continued to progress if I hadn’t found him out. I was hurt because he tried to deceive me and was willing to put our whole family on the line for selfish pleasures. So I kicked him out. I even went so far as to get a dog so that my children (then 7 and 9) would remember this period as "the time we got the dog" rather than "the time when Daddy left."
But then I decided that I was going to fight for my marriage – not let the devil just walk up in MY home, steal MY family, leave MY kids without a father, leave ME a single mother and give MY husband to another woman! I had prayed for this man, invested a lot in this marriage, and I didn’t want another woman to reap the benefits of MY hard labor. I DON’T THINK SO! I stood on this prayer for weeks – months. I had it taped to the back of my medicine cabinet door, I remember standing there saying the words, crying because I didn’t even know if I believed them as I was saying them, but I didn’t have anything else to stand on but the Word because there was literally NOTHING ELSE I could depend on. And when I tell you God moved on my marriage!
I used to think that the best thing God could do was let me get a divorce and give me a new husband. Well, he did give me a new husband, but I didn’t have to get a divorce, tear my family apart, take my kids through all those changes. He took the old husband I had and made him into a new man. (He also changed me, too, by the way.) So whatever you do – don’t give up on your marriage. Stand for it and watch God move. If you give this to Satan, what will he take next? This is a war, my brothers and sisters. Don’t hand over your family – fight for it and don’t settle for less than God’s best!
(UNITED STATES) Hey Mickey, my name is Dionne. I am going through the same situation just a little addition added to my family, my husband blessed me with a new baby from the other woman. How do I deal with that? Your comment encouraged me. It inspires me to stand for a healing on my marriage and know that if it be God’s will to end this marriage, it will be. Until then I Am Standing For The Healing Of My Marriage! Thank You Keep On Standing!
(UNITED STATES) Thank you so much for your post! I am 23 years old and just went back to my parents house with our daughter yesterday. Reading your post just helped me so much as I am at work today feeling like I am losing every part of me! But I am standing firm on the LORD’S WORD!!! I understood exactly what you meant by no one can have what you have worked so hard for! THEY CAN’T AND WILL NOT HAVE MY HUSBAND!!! Thank you for reminding why I have and will continue to fight for my marriage!!! He just has to know we are worth more and he cannot treat me badly ANYMORE!!! God works and I am going to stay steadfast!!!
(USA) I am so encouraged by the prayer and also your comments. My husband & I have been together for almost 11 years & married for almost 7. We both have had issues, he drank too much and I was controlling & had absolutely no self-esteem. It was “easy” to control someone who was always drinking. I was so scared of being hurt or “losing” him that this continued for 8 yrs and then he got a DUI and had to do 13 months in jail. During those months I came to realize I could be separated from him and not completely fall apart. After he got out we both had changed, he got into drugs and after only being home for 5 1/2 months he moved out, that was Nov 2011. We are still separated but I pray for our marriage to be restored and our family put back together daily. I pray for his deliverance from alcohol & drugs and also that God would continue to grow me and change me into the wife I was suppose to be. Whenever we go to church I always save him a seat beside me because one day I know he will be there to fill it. And on that special day all the honor, praise and glory will be for Christ Jesus.
(BAHAMAS) Beautiful & touching testimony
(US) I’m also standing for the restoration of my marriage. I’s been 2 1/2 months since my husband announced "we’re just not getting along, I’m done". And then he left. This is our second separation. And it is so hard.
We have 2 children 7 & 8. It’s also very painful for my children as well. They want their daddy home just as much as I want..if not more. But I do know the Lord wants to do work in me first. This is very difficult for me, but I have to admit our marriage hasn’t always been an easy one.
I was very controlling, bitter-mean,unhappy(mainly with myself),jealous, trusting issues,etc. Not exactly a Godly wife. It’s a struggle with the lack of communication between us. Very little to none. As far as our kids are concerned, they see him maybe once every two weeks. It’s rough. We have been married for 9 1/2 yrs. And I can’t help but wonder is there hope for us?
(USA) Daisy, take care of yourself, do your masks, cut out all the junk, do spinning classes, and watch the word everday, in your car, on tv, keep thanking Jesus, for everything. And removeing your husband from home. Now Jesus has your full attention, he is your first love; then, He will take away the spirit if confusion. Out of your husband. And he will come home, but Jesus has to and will convict his heart. Just take this time to polish your self, and kids, and home. In Jesus name.
(US) Hang in there Theresa… I will be praying for you!
(USA) I have been back and forth on whether I should stand for my marriage. My husband has been gone for over a year now and is currently living with another woman. At first I was hurt and angry. I started drinking very heavy and thought that would make it better. I realized that it does not.
I see my husband does not want to be bothered so I decided to move on as well. I have tried dating over the past year but have not found anyone that feels right. I have tried to decide if standing full force is the right thing to do for my family. We have 3 children 4, 5 and 13 so they are hurting too. My husband is influenced by so many negative forces that I do not see a way of restoration or repair for our marriage. I do not know what to do.
(USA) Kenya, may God Bless you and hear your troubles
rejoiceministries.org/encouragingwomen.org
Give it to the Lord. Nothing is impossible for him. Pray for your husband…Fellow Stander
(USA) I just found this website. I too have been standing for our marriage. My husband told he had feelings for another woman (a coworker), in January. He moved out in February and filed for divorce in March. We have 2 girls (ages 12 and 15). The other woman is married and has also filed for divorce. My husband says what he has with her is "real", they have "talked about a future together".
I am tired of waiting. I pray, read the Bible and other devotions daily. Sometimes (usually) things seem hopeless. I feel scared and lonely. I miss my husband. I had no idea we had serious problems, but now he says we have had problems for years. We have been married nearly 17 years. Please help me.
(USA) Hello all, Maybe my story will encourage some here. I was the prodigal a little while back. I was/am in a marriage for 17 years. My feelings for my wife were as a roommate, not a wife. I reunited with a woman I used to love back in high school and we really hit it off. My wife found out but I was certain I wanted to start a new relationship.
I was convicted though the whole time, about hurting my wife and separating from my kids. The other woman got convicted too and we agreed to break it off. It was hard to do this for a little while but I did it in obedience to what I knew was right. My heart did a complete 180 for my wife. God really got a hold of me and I saw all the things I did wrong to my wife over the years. My heart turned around very quickly.
Unfortunately, my wife decided to move out of our marriage and separated 3 months ago. I am now a stander. I know what it feels like to be scared, lonely and discouraged. I just keep praying everyday for God’s mercy. I do believe that it is His will for reconciliation and that He hates divorce. Keep fighting. I believe the Lord has led us all who are standing to stand. Our battle is not against flesh and blood but against the spiritual powers of darkness.
(USA) Your story sounds almost exactly like mine. My husband’s name is even Chris. Just curious… how have things worked out for you since then? Hope you don’t mind me asking. Heather
(USA) Hi Ann, I’m sorry for what you are going thru. I to, am going thru the same thing. I know what you are feeling. DON’T GIVE UP! Satan has your husband & the other woman right now. Pray for him daily. Pray for her.
rejoiceministries.org and encouragingwomen.org are great websites! They will support you and encourage you for the ‘STAND’ of your husband and marriage. Read the restored marriage testimonies. And remember nothing is impossible for GOD. Fellow ‘STANDER’