All of Us Are Difficult to Love – Dave & Ashley Willis

All of us are difficult to love. Isn’t that true? If you’ve been married for more than a few days, you can see this is true. “In this funny and practical You Tube video, Dave and Ashley Willis explain why everyone begins marriage with baggage. Because of this, we’re all sometimes difficult to love. The reality is, your spouse needs your love the most when they deserve it the least.”

Difficult to Love You Too?

And the same goes for you. But God wants us to love each other because He first loved us. “While we were yet sinners, He died for us.” Dave and Ashley point this out, which is important.

So, to continue on with those thoughts, we posted below a few more on the issue of loving your spouse when it is difficult to love. Glean through them, asking God to show you what pertains to your marriage situation. Please prayerfully consider:

• “We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” (Sam Keen) “No, you are not marrying the perfect person, but you can love perfectly [as Jesus] and in that love, make them perfect” [to the degree that this is possible]. (Renae Willis) As Jesus said, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you…(John 13:34) (Renae Willis)

• “Marital love is not blind —it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.” (Rabbi Julius Gordon) “Make it a habit to see your partner as God sees them. God sees all and loves us anyway.” (Renae Willis) We love because he first love us. (1 John 4:19)

When It’s Especially Difficult Consider:

• “Seeing our spouse as God’s son or as His daughter helps us to love them despite their imperfections. I know my kids aren’t perfect, but I still want them to be loved.” (Gary Thomas)A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.(John 13:34-35)

• “Love needs to be stubborn. Love is not always easy. It can be difficult to love sometimes. The key to real love is being too stubborn to let it ever go away. If you do not stubbornly insist on loving your spouse, then it is easy for that love to slip away. Love must be stubborn to survive.” (Kelsey Robertson)

• “For most couples, the love they started with is not gone. It’s buried under years of anger, misunderstandings and resentment.” (

Despite Every Difficult Roadblock to Love Your Spouse Again, Remember:

• “Having made poor choices in the past doesn’t mean that we must continue to make them in the future. In our relationship, we can say, ‘I’m sorry. I know I have hurt you. But I would like to make the future different. I would like to love you and meet your needs.’ Confessing past failures and expressing a desire to make the future better is a choice. I have seen marriages rescued from the brink of divorce when couples make the choice to love and then learn to speak each other’s love language.” (Dr Gary Chapman)

• “Love isn’t just what you feel, it’s what you do consistently over time.” (Matthew Jacobson)Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, does not boast, and is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.(1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

• “You can give undeserved love to your spouse because God gives undeserved love to you. Repeatedly, enduringly. Ask God to fill you with the kind of love only He can provide, then give it to your spouse in a way that reflects your gratefulness to God for loving you. That’s the beauty of Christ’s redeeming love.” (Stephen and Alex Kendrick)May the Lord direct your hearts to God’s love and Christ’s endurance.(2 Thessalonians 3:5)

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One response to “All of Us Are Difficult to Love – Dave & Ashley Willis

  1. Reading these topics makes me want to cry, because I need them so much, and need for others to read them also. Many of them address what is happening in my marriage, and can heal my heart. Once again, take the time to read them and then share them with others. Another thing is that man’s heart has to be pierced and then opened to receive from GOD. I am opened, that’s why I feel like crying.