STANDING FOR THE HEALING OF MY MARRIAGE
I am standing for the healing of my marriage.
I will not give up, give in,
give out, nor give over
’til the healing takes place.
I made a vow; I said the words; and I gave the pledge.
I gave a ring; I took a ring; and I gave myself.
I trusted GOD, and said the words, and meant the words:
in sickness and in health,
in sorrow and in joy,
for better or for worse,
for richer or for poorer,
in good times and in bad…
so NOW I am STANDING.
I will NOT sit down, let down, slow down,
calm down, fall down, look down nor be down
’til the BREAKDOWN is TORN DOWN!
I refuse to put my eyes on outward circumstances,
or listen to prophets of doom.
I will not buy into what is trendy, worldly, popular,
convenient, easy, quick,
thrifty, or advantageous.
Nor will I settle for a cheap imitation of God’s real thing.
I will not seek to lower God’s standard,
twist God’s will, rewrite God’s word,
violate God’s covenant,
or accept what God hates—which is namely… divorce!
In a world of filth, I will stay pure.
Even though surrounded by lies I will speak the truth.
Where hopelessness abounds,
I will hope in GOD.
Where revenge is easier, I will bless instead of curse;
and where the odds are stacked against me,
I will trust in God’s faithfulness.
I am a STANDER!
And I will not acquiesce, compromise, quarrel or quit…
I have made the choice.
I have set my face, entered the race, believed the Word,
and TRUSTED GOD for the outcome.
I will allow neither the reaction of my spouse,
nor the urging of my friends,
the advice of my loved ones,
economic hardship,
nor the prompting of the devil
to make me let up, slow up, blow up, or give up
UNTIL MY MARRIAGE IS HEALED.
This Poem:
The above poem, which centers on the position of standing for your marriage, is featured on the web site Rejoiceministries.org. Rejoice Ministries has an outstanding outreach that encourages and gives hope to those who are standing in the gap believing God for a miracle in their marriages.
You can read the testimonies and the stories of restored marriages on their web site:
To read them, please:
Additionally, as you are standing:
If you are standing for the healing of your marriage because of betrayal, standing in prayer is important! Below is a link to a web site where you will find prayers posted that you can use. We encourage you to use them to help in your healing. You can pray them word-for-word or use them as an outline—adding more as you feel led.
We pray they help you:
• 5 PRAYERS WHEN YOU FEEL BETRAYED
And when you are standing, believing God will help you, despite the fact that the marriage looks like it is over, here are several prayers you can use. Again, you can pray these prayers word-for-word because they express your heart. Or you can use them as a stepping stone to add or adapt them in some way to express the cries of your own heart.
• 3 PRAYERS THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR MARRIAGE
May God bless you as you stand, pray, and believe!
If you have additional tips you can share to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
Filed under: Save My Marriage Spiritual Matters Surviving Infidelity
(MUSKOGEE) I am standing for my marriage. My husband wants a divorce and believes I don’t I love him very much. I was married before to an abusive man. When I got with my new husband I put up a wall so that I could never be hurt again. Instead I hurt my husband. I know I want so bad to have his love back but his heart is hurting. I tell him everyday that I love him and I am sorry, but he acts like he doesn’t even hear me. What can I do to make him understand that I love him and want are marriage to last?
(UNITED STATES) I am a stander. It has been almost 2 years and we are still married but my wife lives with her boyfriend and sad to say our 3 daughters are living with him as well. My wife is in the process of breaking it off with him but says she can’t be with me either. I have done a lot of work on myself in the time we have been apart and have done all I can to become the man of God I should have been all along. I have remained faithful to my wife, to my kids, to my God.
I pray everyday for my family, for our marriage, for God to intervene and reach out to my wife and call her out of the lifestyle she is living in and back to her walk in Christ… Please pray for Matt and Shanna and their 3 daughters.
(S. AFRICA) Today I make a Stand for my Marriage. I will not let Satan take anything more from me. My wife filed for divorce 3 months ago, She is doing a divorce care group at a different church than the one I attend. She refuses to even consider the idea of reconciliation. I have given it over to God now. I will fight till there is no breath left in me.
I ask that you all pray for my wife and our marriage. God Bless you all, Wayne
(USA) Thank you ALL so much for the post and also all the beautiful encouraging comments. I’m standing for my marriage. I’ve failed terribly for the past five years. I was not showing my wife love. I was selfish and cared only about me. But, God has been working on my heart. I now understand better and can love really. But, everything has consequences, my wife is unhappy of not having been loved for all these years. I admit.
Now, it’s been five months since my wife has been asking me to leave our home and that she wants a divorce. Though, I know she’s talking to another guy, I will STAND on my KNEES in prayer. I believe God’s word and I respect it and HIS will as well. I’ve got to see God operate a miracle in my marriage. I agreed to leave the house today because it’s practically impossible to continue being here. I choose to believe God and not the enemy or what everybody else is saying to my wife. They can’t have my wife. She’s mine. I’m standing on God’s promises and I will Him come though. Amen. Thank you ALL.
(ENGLAND) I am standing for my marriage. My husband moved out just over two years ago and recently filed for divorce. He says I don’t value him or really love him. In the past, it is true that I have not valued him the way that God expected me too, but I have always loved him and still do. He says he doesn’t really want it to go this way and my response has been that ‘he doesn’t want it, I don’t want it, so let’s not go ahead with it.’ But he seems adamant that he will continue with the divorce regardless of how often I ask him to consider mediation and counseling. Even my brother in law as spoken with him and tried to help him to see another way through this, but at the moment to no avail.
The divorce is set to go through on the 4th October. I have been praying and ask you to pray with and for me too. I can really see where God has been changing me and He has revealed things about my character that I never even realised existed. It is a continual journey and God has and continues to be very merciful and loving to me. I do pray for my husband that God will continue to speak to him and that through all this we will be friends first and foremost and that this time God will be our foundation. But despite everything, even the loneliness, God is faithful and by His grace I will STAND!
(USA) My wife moved out of our home over a month ago, leaving me to care for our 3 daughters ages 4, 5 & 8. Our 9 year marriage has been very cold lately and the trigger that brought the separation was her confession of her attraction to a fellow Church member who happens to be a friend of mine. Our marriage suffered mainly due to my unforgiving spirit and subsequent periods of rejection that she endured in my hand.
We all miss her, and more so me, having never realized how much I love her. When she confided in me about her attraction, I was furious and threatened to ask the man she supposedly was attracted to. I did eventually contact the guy and wisely grilled him whether he was aware of something between him and my wife, but sure enough, he was clueless about any such feelings from my wife. Now, I have been believing God to enable any kind of dialogue that may open a door for reconciliation but so far-nothing… not even a phone call to the kids! I hate separation.
(USA) I have been separated from my wife for almost 4 weeks now (married 8 1/2 years). She does not feel for me as a husband now and said the only hope that our marriage would be saved was God (we are both Christians). I use both the Stander’s Affirmation and P.U.S.H. as well as places like this website and Rejoice Marriage Ministries to keep me going in my stand. I pray, read scripture, listen to Christian music, and enlist others to pray for me and my wife. No matter what anyone says, I will stand and of course P.U.S.H. until my marriage is saved. God will do the work and move the mountains!
(USA) If your relationship partner says you are not worthy… agree with them and show them the door. What you are about to undertake will completely strip the self worth from you and change your life for the worst. Good luck on it and I wish you the best.
(AUSTRALIA) I am glad I came across this website because I am also standing for the restoration of my marriage and have been looking for ways to help myself and have my wife return to me after leaving me for another married man. At this point in my life I wish to rely on GOD for his assistance and the prayers of others. I loved the prayer “I am standing for the healing of my marriage” and will now use it.
My wife is a Pacific islander and we lived in her country between 2000 and 2009. She was born there and we have 3 daughters aged 8, 6 and 4 who were born in a neighbouring country. My wife and I married in her country’s registry and then also had our marriage blessed by our church. In 2008 my wife went overseas to study and within 4 months moved in with a man from her country who was married with a wife and 3 kids of his own. The relationship was found out and both my wife and her lover returned to their respective households.
In April 2009 my wife eloped with this man. As I wanted to save our marriage in August 2009, I left with my children and settled in New Zealand. My wife came back to our family in October 2009 but she left me and the kids again and went back to her home country in January 2010. She involved herself again with this married man and from January 2010 to December 2010 she has been living with him. She sent her wedding rings back to me in June 2010. I understand now she has no intention of coming back and wants our 3 young daughters who have been quite distraught, to accept what she is doing and made the comment that “this is what they will face when they are older.” My kids and I now live in Australia while my wife continues to live in the Pacific with this other married man.
It took me a long time to realise it but I did have problems which I now face up to. I learned to forgive myself as I knew (having received the Holy Spirit this year) that GOD had forgiven me too and in my heart I have forgiven my wife and this man. Even though they both probably curse me, I bless them. I have made some amazing changes in my life and am still doing so. I have put behind me my own selfish ways and am a truly wonderful and loving father to my 3 children. I am no longer setting poor examples for them. I am a changed man and I wish there was a way my wife could see this. It is difficult because we no longer have contact with each other and she has scales on her eyes.
I could rave on for hours but I just wanted to find out what other prayers might be out there that I could recite to help my situation. GOD knows my heart and knows I am hurting and I have changed. HE knows my kids are hurting terribly too by the separation. I could easily throw in the towel and things may get worse as my wife may divorce me and marry this other man after he has filed for divorce.
I believe with GOD everything is possible and ask that those that read this could pray that the scales be removed from my wife’s eyes so she sees the truth about Jesus Christ. Pray that her heart will soften so she can find a way of forgiving me and be willing to come back for the final time to stay and build on the marriage we have, and to raise and guide our children with me in this terrible world that the devil rules. I want to defeat the devil and not listen to those that tell me to move on and find another wife. Perhaps it is GOD’s will that my wife return to her family, but at present it is not my wife’s. Any suggestions? I would appreciate any advice, particularly biblical, as I believe in the power of prayer.
What an amazing testimony. I am so glad you found forgiveness and embraced the love God has for you and your beautiful children. I am encouraged by your faithfulness and willingness to look at the areas in your own life that you need to take account for. God bless you and thank you for sharing.
(NAMIBIA) Thank you so much for the encouraging comments. I am standing for restoration of my marriage and seriously building a hedge of thorns around my husband. It is emotionally toturing but I will stand still for my marriage. My husband is from a neighboring country, 1 days’ drive/2hrs flight. My husband didn’t have a permanent job and was paid very little until we got married. I have a permanent job with satifyging benefits in my country. We agreed that I would still live in my country so that both of us would work hard until he finds a permanent job then my daughter and I would move to live with him.
We went through hardship and humiliation but we stood together. My husband would broke down but I had been strong for him and he saw me as an angel for him sent by God. No matter how hopeless I felt I wouldn’t allow the devil to convince me with his lies because I wanted to be strong for my husband. I would visit him 2-3 times per year and he would visit me at least once or twice, depends on his work.
We are both Christians. Whenever we were together we would go to church almost every day for the worship services. Because he doesn’t speak or understand English well, I would teach him the Word which was preached to us by the man of God and we would find courage and have peace. It was an amazing journey as I prayed fervently to God to open doors for my husband to find a permanent, well paid job to be able to mantain us a family sothat we can live in one house as it supposed to be for a married couple.
For 7 years we have been trying to conceive without success. I have seen 3 different gynaecologists so far, I went through a lot of tests and they all confirmed that they couldn’t detect any problem. My husband is relaxed and feels it is unnecessary for him to see the doctor because the problem is with me since he could make a child while we were trying too. Many times he would mention that maybe my family has witched me, that I shouldn’t compare myself with his children and that he would die next to them. I have never given him a reason to make him say all these things and it really hurts me a lot. I have a 15 years old daughter from a relationship before and my husband has a 13 years old girl and a 5 years old boy (whom I only found out about when he was 3 months old). I was hurt because he has been with this women all along and was living together with her until he got her pregnant. He apologised and begged and I forgave him. Whenever I visited him, I would buy clothes for both children because in his country is very expensive.
1 year and 3 months ago my husband got a job in the best oil company in his country and he is being paid well with the best benefits. December 2009 I went for holiday to stay until January as usually. I found him being kicked out by the landlord because he has not paid the rent for 4 months since he was not being paid on a probation for 6 months (which was true though). He asked me to go back sothat I would go back in Mei when he start getting his salary. I left after a week and was heartbroken. Since then he has been having excuses that he wanted to organise everything first befor I go there. In October 2010 his mother, who loves me so much told me to pray because the mother of his son went to his place with her belongings and his son, demanding to move in with him. His mother and his sister managed to get her out.
In November, he got his leave and he came to visit for 3 weeks and he never mentioned it. We agreed I would go in the 2nd week of December which I did. When I got there I found out that when I left in December 2009 he was caught by our housekeeper with a woman in our bed and he fired her. After 7 months he begged his mother to beg her to come work for him again because she is very trust worthy unlike the other one who stole everything, even my clothes.
I couldn’t trust my husband because he would switch off his phone whenever he was with me. A woman came to look for him when he was at work and he claimed that she was his cousin which is not true. He would go out and promised to come back soon to go out, only to see him 2 o’clock in the morning. I would send him a message to explain how unhappy I was about the way he was treating me because he wouldn’t want to sit and have a conversation with me. He started using my messages an excuse that I am too jealous and he is upset that I don’t trust him.
I was supposed to come back on 10th January 2011 but on that Saturday 8, in the morning he said he was going to work until 1500. At 1300 he came home and told me that the next morning he would be travelling and he wouldn’t know if he would be back the same day. He told me that it would be better to go back with the busses which were leaving then because he might not be back till Monday. I told him that it wouldn’t be a problem because I could leave even on Tuesday since I will start working only on Thursday. He said he would go buy a ticket.
Later he phoned and lied that there wouldn’t be a bus on Monday or Tuesday and the only one was leaving within an hour. I felt we had to talk but he was reluctant. When he came to fetch me I asked him if he didn’t want me any more? He became angry and said I should find a man who will give me more attention and whom I will trust since he is not making me happy. I was shocked and cried hysterically but he asked our housekeeper to take my luggages to the car. He took me to the bus and started to apologise and beg me to understand why was it better to leave before he travels. I was hurting because I knew I would cry all the way back to my country.
The road is tiring with a lot of bumping because of holes. I felt humiliated and embarrassed in front of my housekeeper and neighbours. I couldn’t believe that my husband, my close friend, in whom I trusted, who ate my bread, has lifted up his heel against me. My husband, a man my equal, my companion and my familiar friend, we who had sweet fellowship together?
I prayed all the way that God would do a miracle to cause me to conceive too. When I reached the border the next morning, my periods started flowing with a terrible pain. I’m very dissapointed but I leave everything in the hands of God because I know He will not allow the devil to put me to shame.
When I arrived he sent me a message to ask if I have arrived safely. I responded and I didn’t say much. I decided I will not speak or complain anymore but will only talk to my faithful God and I know He will speak for me because I am His child. I will not give up on my marriage I will fight a good fight and I surely have the victory in Jesus Christ. Lets keep stand for the restoration of our marriages untill the last day. Remain blessed, my brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus.
(SOUTH AFRICA) “I Am Standing For The Healing Of My Marriage!” This is what gets me through each and everyday. This is what motivates me and this is what I use as prayer. For when I feel like my world is tumbling down… I read this and feel renewed!
(UNITED STATES) I am working to get my marriage back after 14 years. Little, little, baby steps.
I wish I had not let Satan take over. My husband is a good and trusting man, and I deceived him. Please help me, and pray that my husband sees the real change in me and will want to come back with me.
(USA) This is an amazing statement. Me and my husband have been married for 7 years tomorrow, been separated THREE different times in those seven years and I refused to give up. There was a point where I had to give it over to God and stop worrying about it every moment… and let me tell you I am a fighter and God rewarded my faith… he saved my husband!!!
We are now a few months into this spiritual journey together (for the first time) and it is amazing what having God in the heart of your spouse can do! For those out there thinking about divorce, I implore you, do NOT give up!!! Believe that God can and will take care of the situation the way He best sees fit! I am a living testament to it!!!
(SOUTH AFRICA) Thank you for your reply Lisa…it means a lot to me that NOT giving up is the right way to go… you have inspired me to keep on going… no matter how hard it is. I use this statement as motivation everyday… it’s the only thing that really keeps me going.
(UNITED STATES) I have been married to my husband for 15 years and we recently separated July 19th. He has already started dating a woman much younger than him. He tells me to move on but God has convicted me to stand.
We have separated 3 times before all because of trust issues and infidelity on BOTH parts. I take full responsibility for my actions in the marriage and ask God everyday to forgive me and make me whole again. I also pray for my husband to become the Christian man God intended for him to be. We have 3 children who are also hurting by this separation.
We are meant to be together, I am convicted by this fact. We love each other. I know he still loves me. He was so angry at me and although he is dating a new woman says he wishes we can be friends someday… I want my husband back. I REALLY want to save my marriage and dedicate our marriage to God to serve him. My husband is a school teacher and has a wonderful gift to teach. I know God could do a great work through us as a reconciled couple. Please pray for us!
(USA) I am in love with my husband. He has a disease called alcoholism, and it is trying to pull us apart. He gave in and moved in with someone and thought (said) she would be good for him, but the alcohol and drugs she had/has going on brought him to jail. I love him and I don’t want to give up on my marriage. He said he wants to get sober, and seems to want to try and work on our marriage.
He is a wonderful person when he was getting sober, and this girl met up with him, and immediately he got drunk, then one thing to another… Within 3 weeks he has ended up in jail. I am praying that God will help us work through this. I love my husband.
(USA) I am standing for the restoration of my marriage. My wife, Karen, and I have been married for 4 years and 5 months. We have been separated for 3 months. I am 63, Karen is 57. Please pray that the Lord will, by the power of the Holy Spirit, draw us back together.
In addition to the other issues that came to light, I have also come to realize that I had become insensitive and inattentive toward my wife. As is probably typical for most of us men, I didn’t realize it at the time.
Pray that the Lord will draw us back together. Pray that Karen’s heart will once again be soft toward me. Pray that God will bring, restoration, reconciliation, restitution on my part, and healing. I love her and want to be with her and minister to her as best I can.
I am willing to woo her and date her again, willing to basically start again as if we had never met. As of right now, Karen wants little contact with me.