STANDING FOR THE HEALING OF MY MARRIAGE
I am standing for the healing of my marriage.
I will not give up, give in,
give out, nor give over
’til the healing takes place.
I made a vow; I said the words; and I gave the pledge.
I gave a ring; I took a ring; and I gave myself.
I trusted GOD, and said the words, and meant the words:
in sickness and in health,
in sorrow and in joy,
for better or for worse,
for richer or for poorer,
in good times and in bad…
so NOW I am STANDING.
I will NOT sit down, let down, slow down,
calm down, fall down, look down nor be down
’til the BREAKDOWN is TORN DOWN!
I refuse to put my eyes on outward circumstances,
or listen to prophets of doom.
I will not buy into what is trendy, worldly, popular,
convenient, easy, quick,
thrifty, or advantageous.
Nor will I settle for a cheap imitation of God’s real thing.
I will not seek to lower God’s standard,
twist God’s will, rewrite God’s word,
violate God’s covenant,
or accept what God hates—which is namely… divorce!
In a world of filth, I will stay pure.
Even though surrounded by lies I will speak the truth.
Where hopelessness abounds,
I will hope in GOD.
Where revenge is easier, I will bless instead of curse;
and where the odds are stacked against me,
I will trust in God’s faithfulness.
I am a STANDER!
And I will not acquiesce, compromise, quarrel or quit…
I have made the choice.
I have set my face, entered the race, believed the Word,
and TRUSTED GOD for the outcome.
I will allow neither the reaction of my spouse,
nor the urging of my friends,
the advice of my loved ones,
economic hardship,
nor the prompting of the devil
to make me let up, slow up, blow up, or give up
UNTIL MY MARRIAGE IS HEALED.
This Poem:
The above poem, which centers on the position of standing for your marriage, is featured on the web site Rejoiceministries.org. Rejoice Ministries has an outstanding outreach that encourages and gives hope to those who are standing in the gap believing God for a miracle in their marriages.
You can read the testimonies and the stories of restored marriages on their web site:
To read them, please:
Additionally, as you are standing:
If you are standing for the healing of your marriage because of betrayal, standing in prayer is important! Below is a link to a web site where you will find prayers posted that you can use. We encourage you to use them to help in your healing. You can pray them word-for-word or use them as an outline—adding more as you feel led.
We pray they help you:
• 5 PRAYERS WHEN YOU FEEL BETRAYED
And when you are standing, believing God will help you, despite the fact that the marriage looks like it is over, here are several prayers you can use. Again, you can pray these prayers word-for-word because they express your heart. Or you can use them as a stepping stone to add or adapt them in some way to express the cries of your own heart.
• 3 PRAYERS THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR MARRIAGE
May God bless you as you stand, pray, and believe!
If you have additional tips you can share to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
Filed under: Save My Marriage Spiritual Matters Surviving Infidelity
(USA) I love this poem as it exuberates my feelings. I have been dealing with separation of my wife followed by threat of divorce. But thru our Lord Jesus he gives me strength and guidance to fight the good with perseverance and determination till my marriage is healed or he sees fit that I have done all I could. Only he can tell me so.
To everyone dealing with trouble in their marriage, do not give up and do not stop praying to the Lord as you will be blessed for your trust in him and the fight you put forth for your marriage. Anytime I have felt weak and overcome I have prayed to the Lord and he picks me back up and readies me for whatever may come next. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding (book of Psalms). Sustain your faith in the Lord. I appreciate your prayers and I will always remember all of you in mine.
(USA) Billy – thank you for your words – they gave me great encouragement. I need to learn to pray for my marriage miracle – 2nd separation in one year – my anger issues – her unhappiness/facebook issues. I am miserable, and yet when I read your words, I was uplifted.
(USA) I’ve come across this prayer and I believe God can and will heal my marriage. I thought I was out of love with my husband and was done with him. I started seeing another guy but then everything hit me and I realized that I am so in love with my husband and want to try and work things out.
I quit talking to the other guy and have come back to the Lord. My husband wants a divorce and says he doesn’t love me but I truly believe that he does love me deep down. I have been praying for our marriage and for God to fix me. I wasn’t seeing any results so I became angry with God and became very depressed – but I was holding on my a thread.
Then all of a sudden my husband, son (22 months old) and me spent the whole day together and we had a blast. It was one of the best days I have had in a long time. I felt like I was flying, and I was so happy that I wanted to cry. I know God is working in him and in me and our marriage is being healed. I would like you to keep me in prayer and my family and marriage. I am standing strong for our marriage and I believe and know my marriage will be healed!..
(SOUTH AFRICA) Got married Oct 2010 and over a month ago I found out that my husband has been having an affair with his ex, whom he dated before we got married. I also discovered that they have a daughter together, which he never told me about. As you can imagine I was shattered beyond words and initially wanted a D*** but I don’t believe that is the solution or God’s will in this.
My hubby and I had major issues in our marriage and we both come from broken families and are still hurting about that. My hubby says he has feelings for this lady but he’s not sure if it’s because of the child or because he wants to be with her because when we had the problems in our marriage he wondered if he should have married her instead because all we seemed to do was fight.
In all of this I discovered how much I really love my husband and I want God to do a new thing in our marriage. I don’t want the old marriage back but I want God to do a new thing in both our lives together. We agreed that he moves out to sort himself out and use this time to find healing. We are both born again Christians, however, my hubby hasn’t been going to church much since the revelation of this as he has taken offense to what my Pastor said when he discovered this (trusting God to soften my husband’s heart even concerning that).
I’m really trusting God to move on my behalf and fight for me as I believe that nothing is impossible with God. Please stand in agreement with me for God to move in our lives and renew my marriage, humble my husband and remove any desire to be with this other woman. I am totally depending on God because I dont have the strength to fight this battle on my own. Thanks
(SOUTH AFRICA) I am standing for my marriage. The marriage standing declaration on this page is what I am standing with in Jesus Name. I know God is changing both of us and we are in a purifying fire no matter what. God is moving in miraculous ways in His time with both of us. We will be a family that will be a light to those battling families out there. To all standers-don’t give up! The enemy will flee when we come against his schemes to devour families. Our God will kill the devourer!
(USA) Hi my name is Lisa with Forever Marriage Ministries -I am truly amazed at all the marriage restoration sites available today. I get giddy with excitement in seeing God take back the sanctity of marriage. I give all glory to God for allowing the destruction of my marriage to get my attention and draw me back to Him. It was exactly 22 months from the time we spoke divorce to the day my husband moved home. That was the worst and the best 22 months of my life. God moved in me and made changes only He could make, allowing me to become the wife He created me to be and gave me a new love for my husband that was beyond my wildest dreams. Then God got my husband’s attention and brought him home.
The marriage we share today is better than I could have ever hoped for. God is true to His word -He heals hurting marriages and brings dead marriages back to life. What He has done for me and my marriage He will surely do for you. Trust Him. The Lord has placed upon my heart the ministry of restoration and I praise Him for each and every opportunity to share His victory in the restoration of my marriage. I want every hurting wife to know she is not alone,that divorce does not have to be the answer -Jesus is. For more on my testimony check out my website http://www.lisacmyers.com. Much Love to you all. xoxo
(IRELAND) Hi, I pray for all of you still standing for your marriages and those that have been restored that they will stay that way and you will continue to walk with God. I am at the beginning of my stand, just 6 weeks. My husband left me on the 18th of July and I am absolutely heartbroken. My husband is being very cold with me when he rarely speaks to me. He says he doesn’t care about me and wants nothing more to do with me. It’s crushing to hear someone you love more than you love yourself say those things to you. But I know that my fight is not with my husband but with the devil and the dark powers so I will bless instead of curse when I am hurt or sad.
My husband is very angry with me because during the last couple of months of our marriage I neglected him. I must accept responsibility for my part in the breakdown of our marriage. I have turned to God for his help and comfort because I know that when the time is right God will reunite and restore our marriage. I know there will be days ahead where we all will feel like giving up but please know that’s going to happen. It may not be today or tomorrow it may not even be this year, but it will happen. Believe in what you are praying for and it will happen.
God will not separate what He brought together. He loves you and your prodigal regardless of the circumstances. May God bless you and keep you always and may you keep up your stand. And if you can please pray for me and James as well, I will continue to pray you all. God bless. -Eva x
(USA) Thank you for your words. I too am standing for to mos. now with what sounds the same with me. God has been at work on him and I, this whole time as I keep praying, and believing in him. I believe in him because his words do not lie. He says he will repair that; this is just a testing in our lives so that we may turn and lean on him. :) So don’t give up… keep praying and let him do his work in you and your marriage. He loves you… keep the faith… God bless you!!!
(USA) Is it wrong or showing a lack of faith by asking my husband to agree to a controlled separation?
I am standing and P.U.S.H.ing, but it is so painful to visit with my husband during our separation. I have suggested that we don’t speak to or see each other for a time.
We see one another about once per week and speak almost everyday. My husband won’t speak about anything pertaining to our separation. He totally shuts down if I bring up anything regarding us getting back together or divorce, for that matter. He won’t discuss anything “deep” insisting it causes him to resent the whole situation.
At the same time I suggested we stop speaking for a time or file for divorce and he is adamant that he doesn’t want that. He will even drop by if I don’t respond to his phone calls.
Sorry for the length of this question, but it is so very painful to interact with my husband, but not be able to be awkward. The last time we saw one another, I was more relaxed, but some uneasiness was still there. He wants sex and I don’t because I would only be having it to keep his attention. I want to really bad, but I feel peace in my spirit since I decided against sex until we reconcile.
I was the one to initiate the separation because I didn’t have a better solution at that time (messages on this site prove me wrong -hindsight is 20/20) and I can’t help but feel he is trying to make me see the error of my ways by allowing us to be in a weird limbo.
Would I be breaking our vows further by not interacting with him for a time? We have been separated 8 months and with no rules or agreement, I just feel horrible. We have never stopped interacting or being sexually intimate (I just stopped the sexual intimacy recently and he is still responsive and probably hopeful that too will pass). I am in pain regarding this, but always hopeful and optimistic about our restoration. I need help. What should I do?
(USA) I have to remember the below verse regarding the interaction with my husband because I would truly be heart broken if my husband were not caring for me. As I posted, the Lord unctioned me and pointed me to the below scripture.
Me not wanting to see him (the Lord spoke to my spirit) has to do with control and not pain. I am to wait on the Lord and think on those things that are of good report about our marriage and not focus on our separation. In my case, it would be a lack of faith and commitment to my stand if I were to BEG once again for guidelines.
God showed me I would be deceptive in asking for guidelines. I would want to hurry HIS process along and being controlling instead of standing. I also wanted permission to control my husband by asking you what I should have already known. I feel much better knowing the truth about my actions. (I think a controlled separation is the best way to go if at all possible and I wish I would have thought of that prior to separating. It’s just not time for us yet.)
Philippians 4:6-8 Amplified Bible (AMP) Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God. And God’s peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them].
Michelle, It seems that as you have sought the Lord, He has given you the wisdom you were seeking. I’m proud of you — this has got to be one of the most difficult things you have ever done –to stand firm in faith on such a tough situation. Now please know however, that because you are standing, your position may be tested. The enemy of our faith has a way of doing that –to try to confuse us and wear us down. But don’t shift around as we’re told in James 1. Stand firm. And while you are doing so, keep seeking God to help you to grow in whatever way you need it while you are in this waiting room of your life. I pray strength and wisdom and help and hope for you. “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ –to the glory and praise of God.” (Philippians 1:9-11)
(USA) Thank you so much for taking the time to encourage and remind me to not be a double minded man unstable in all his ways. Also thank you for the prayer. I will stay in prayer and keep standing. :-)
(USA) When I was fixing my marriage the world’s way, everything was going smooth relatively speaking. Once I posted here and took a stand all hades broke loose and I FEEL more alone, but I know God is doing a work on me and my husband. My relationship with God is closer than ever. I have more peace each day even though my husband and me seem further apart than ever.
I know to walk by faith and not by sight. I am also learning to be submissive and gentle in this waiting period. I also know that my stand has ignited Satan into action, as 2 Corinthians 2:11 says “Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.” He comes to kill and to steal and to destroy, but praise God, Jesus came that we may have life and have it more abundantely.
Standing in spite of your circumstances is the hardest thing I have ever done, but praise God I won’t reconcile by strength, by power or by might, but by His Spirit saith the Lord. Michele still standing!
(USA) Funny thing is when I decided to quietly stand for my marriage the enemy attacks. I am not faint or losing heart, but I have had some days that have almost made me demand a divorce, so I know where the attack is coming from. Even though I feel a bit discouraged, I want to encourage anyone, including myself, to continue to stand.
Everything was going relatively well until I decided to stand on the Word and simply pray and trust God. It seems my husband’s time for me has diminished, he isn’t attempting to be intimate any longer. He isn’t consistant in calling like he was before I decided to stand. His loving affection toward me has cooled considerably. I will just believe:
Ephesians 6:12 “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”
2 Corinthians 10:4 “For the weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood], but they are mighty before God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds,”
It hurts, but the Word helps. I will still stand for my marriage in the face of adversity!!! I will be like David and encourage myself in the Lord.
(USA) Things are going much better – different than before, but better. We actually discuss deep issues as I had been praying for and my husband actually discusses them with me. We have had our moments during my stand, but I have taken the advice given to me stated in James 1.
I also ran across this prayer for other people standing for their marriage. It has been very encouraging to me in addition to the STAND prayer.
Heavenly Father, I thank You for Your promises and I know that You are not a man that You should lie nor the son of a man that You need to repent for what you have told me (Numbers 23:19). I pray a double portion of tenacity, determination, patience and strength to wait for all the things that you’ve shown me to come to pass. May my waiting be active and not passive so that I may be doing the things that you require of me to bring this prophecy into fulfillment. Impart to me a spirit of joy so that I can always wait with hope and without grumbling. I know that you are able to do exceedingly abundantly more than I could ever ask, think, imagine, dream or hope for (Ephesians 3:20) and I pray that your grace and peace will guard my heart and mind as I wait for your perfect timing, In Jesus Name. Amen.
(USA) I encourage you to separate from your husband. Women that try to stay in these types of relationships for too long develop major health problems.
(USA) I rebuke that in the name of Jesus. I am already separated and God is working all things together for my good. I stand against health problems, marital problems, prophets of doom and separation!
I will continue to stand for my marriage. Funny thing is I was feeling kind of down because things are going slower than I would prefer, but you have given me a renewed strength with this comment. I have let go and let God heal me, my husband and my marriage. Sometimes standing means letting go and letting God work in His own way in His own time. I will never give up on my marriage, I am a STANDER.
(USA) My husband assaulted our child, raped me, blamed his work and me for his actions and claimed my faith was weak because I became frigid following the rapes… I continued to submit because I felt if I did what he wanted and pleased him our marriage would become normal again. Instead he got more and more demanding and controlling. When I didn’t return to honeymoon level libido, he threatened to leave. He said why should he pay for a home, car etc for a family if his needs weren’t being met?
After the abuse became so bad I was encouraged to separate for the safety of the family. He has become suddenly religious. He says his ring finger burns when his wedding finger is not on it and that he wonders if my emails reminding him to have his mail forwarded by the postal service are actually from the devil. As far as I know he is still working, but makes it clear he is under no obligation to help make a house or car payment, if he does not live here.
He acts as if any help is a favor and should remove our fear of him. The whole family is doing much better with him out of the home. The sense of dread and tension is almost nonexistent now. It’s disturbing that he thinks he is fine having declared himself healed of having the devil in him, fully expects me to drop the protective order now that he has aligned himself with God or visa versa. He believes anyone or anything opposing him is a devil incarnate. I feel threatened by most of the content of his emails that attribute his crimes to the devil and because he is sorry he feels a good Christian wife is obligated to take him back to prove her faith. He keeps saying he loves me and the kids. I don’t believe what he has is love. I believe he is ill. Thoughts?
(USA) FOR YOU AND THE SAKE OF YOUR CHILDREN!! GET HELP IMMEDIATELY!!! DO NOT PLAY WITH THIS KIND OF DANGER!!!
(USA) I encourage you to separate your husband and go to a women’s shelter if one is available in your area.
(SA) Our 32 year marriage was wrecked by lies deceit, infidelity, debt, regrets,resentment, arguments. We both love the Lord and have been involved in missions and ministry. Our adult children and grandchildren are devastated as this was the least expected. Its been a year that we’ve been separated and he would come back then go back to his lover, then back, then we would make up, have an argument and back out again.
He did not want to go for counselling to help us through the process of healing. Now we are on the brink of a divorce he initiated, and says it’s his opportunity for a better life. I am content, our family’s God is busy working in our lives at this painful time in our lives.
(USA) Blossom, I pray that God returns your husband’s heart to you and that he forsakes anything that would inhibit your relationship. I pray that your children and grandchildren would be healed in Jesus name. I pray that you too have a testimony of the great things God is about to do in your marriage. I pray that the Lord restores, heals and recompenses you for the time you have spent apart from your husband. May the Lord bless you and keep you.
(USA) I asked the Lord to help me and my husband delved deep into our problems so that we could work our separation out. Be careful what you pray for because you WILL get it. What was once an easy separation on the road to recovery has been made a disaster area. What was once in the dark, has now come to light and that was my prayer.
Since God in his mercy granted me the answer to a prayer that has seemed to drive us further apart, I will ask him to work ALL things together for our good no matter what things look like in the natural. I will be moving from my parents home and was hoping he would join me. I pray he does. I’m still standing for the total and complete restoration of my marriage no matter how hard things seem right now.
Before we began to delve deep into our problems during this time of separation we dated, spoke every day and had an intimate relationship. I prayed we would move beyond that stage so we could resolve our problems and not pretend they didn’t exist. Now I have to be a “big girl” and deal with what I asked God for.
Oh God, if you are listening, please heal the wedge between us and allow us to resolve our issues. Please restore our marriage like you did Job’s life- make it better than it ever was. Allow me grace to stand still and see the salvation of the Lord. Open my eyes to see there are more for me than agaisnst me in Jesus name.
Merry Christmas -Michele Still Standing
Next year I will be giving a testimony regarding the healing of my husband, me and my marriage.
(MEXICO) I will STAND and never give up. I will do God’s will and not man’s… because I love the man Jesus Christ put in my path to be the only father of my children. I refuse to sin against God once more!
(USA) Praise the Lord me and my husband are getting back together. It has been one year this month that we were separated and glory to God we are now reconciling. It seemed as soon as I began to stand, Satan drove a wedge the size of the Grand Canyon between us, but praise God I kept standing! This is only the beginning as we have to work the ligistics out because we are separated, but God will work it all out just has he did this past year. For everyone standing for their marriage-don’t give up or give in. Fight the good fight of faith and your spouse will return to you. God’s perfect will shall in fact be done. -Michele Still Standing after 1 year Glory to God!!!