If Walls Could Talk

If our walls could talk, they sure would have a lot to say! Have you ever thought about that? What do you think yours would say? Oh, we’re not talking about the moments between a husband and wife that should be kept private between them. We’re talking over-all… what would your walls say if they could talk?

It’s important to note that we’re told in Proverbs 24:3-4:

“By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established. Through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.“

In light of that scripture, is your home together being built with the treasures of godly wisdom and understanding?

If Walls Could Talk…

And what about love? Would your walls talk of the love that is spoken within your home (the type of love pointed out in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8)? Is patience, grace and kindness being lived out within your home? What about envy, boasting, arrogance, and rudeness? Do you rejoice “in truth” and speak the “truth in love” to your spouse? You may need to talk tough love to your spouse. But it is to be spoken in truth, motivated by love. That’s what we’re told to do in the Bible.

Again, if your walls could talk, would they speak of love? What about peace being lived within those walls? I remember several years ago when we were moving across country. Unfortunately, I had to be the one to find a home for us to move into. I never had to do that before but circumstances made this necessary; so I did.

Steve asked for two “requirements” from me as I looked for our new home. First, he asked that it didn’t have a lawn for him to mow. He was tired of maintaining a lawn. Check! I could do that. And secondly (more importantly), he asked that when I walked in I could feel peace within those walls. He said that every home we’ve had seemed to whisper a peaceful, “Ahhhhhhh!” when you walked through the door. (Many others have said the same thing about our home.) He wanted that for this new home too; and so did I.

The world could be crazy on the outside. But when you walked through the door of our home, you’ve been able to feel peace and love. Thankfully, I found one that fit these preferences.

Would Your Walls Speak of Love Lived Out and Spoken?

The main point isn’t what the house looks like physically. It’s what’s happening on the inside. If love and kindness isn’t lived within it, it isn’t a healthy one. So, how do you learn how to “live a life of love” as God would have you? We’ve found that the principles for loving are the principles for living, that are written throughout the Bible. (See Ephesians 5:1-2, as one example.)

So, that takes us back to our main question. If the walls of your home could talk, would they say you reflect the love of God in the way you interact with your spouse?

You might notice that we aren’t asking you about your spouse’s actions. That’s because you can’t control your spouse. You can suggest, talk to, expect and hope that your spouse will treat you well. And above all you can pray that God will help him or her to do so. But you can’t MAKE your spouse live by God’s standards for living. That is his or her choice.

So, our message is addressed to you personally. You can control the choices you make. That’s why our question is posed to you. What do YOU do? In what ways do YOU contribute to the love that is displayed within your home? The Bible says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.“ (Romans 12:18) And that includes how you choose to live with your spouse!

If Your Walls Could Talk

So, the question that we place before you (and us) is: If the walls in your home could talk, AS FAR AS IT DEPENDS UPON YOU, what would they say? And then, building upon that precept, if your walls could talk:

• Would they speak of your faithfulness in your marital relationship?

The Bible warns us:

“Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well.“ (Proverbs 5:15)

Even if your spouse is unfaithful, it doesn’t give you the right to be unfaithful as well. We hope you know that. Whatever you do, please don’t allow yourself to believe the lie that because you hurt so badly, solutions to cheat and do that which you should not, are acceptable. They are not. We’re told in the Bible:

“The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ. And do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.” (Romans 13:12-14)

Additionally, if your walls could talk:

• Would they say that you build up and encourage your spouse?

The Bible says:

We’re told in Proverbs 14:1: “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish tears hers down.” So, don’t allow your words and attitudes to tear down the spirit of those who dwell within your home. And that goes for men as well as for women!

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.“ (Ephesians 4:29-32)

Jesus said, “A household divided against itself will not stand.“ (Matthew 12:25)

Think about it. Are you a builder or a destroyer? If your walls could talk:

• Would they testify that Jesus is Lord of your life and that you bring strength into your home?

We’re told in the Bible:

“Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.“ (Psalm 127:1)

If The Walls in Your Home Could Talk:

• Would they say you’re a quarrelsome person?

If you are it’s important to note that we’re told in the Bible:

“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.“ (Proverbs 25:24)

However, that doesn’t let men off the hook in this type of situation:

“If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.“ (James 1:26)

In a related way, consider what Scott Kedersha asks:

“What if your arguments were broadcast for others to hear? 1. Would they hear gentle words? Proverbs 15:1 says, ‘A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.’ When we use harsh words, we make things worse. On the other hand, a soft, gentle answer helps resolve arguments. … 2. Would they hear humility or pride? James 4:6 says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’ … 3. Would they hear a Christlike desire to understand and listen? Proverbs 18:2 says, ‘A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.‘”

It’s important to note that we’re told:

“I tell you that men will have to give account on the Day of Judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.“ (Matthew 12:37)

If Your Walls Could Talk:

• Would they say that the Lord dwells within them and that others can clearly see the love of Christ displayed?

We read something written by Brant Hansen that gives an illustration of this. He wrote (in his book, Unoffendable):

“One evening, standing by the pond (in front of their home) a tipsy Finnish guy told me—’I’ve looked outside and have seen your family. I’ve watched you. And when I see your family, I don’t even know why, but I think about God.'”

That’s convicting! We don’t always know when others are watching us. But it happens. And we need to be aware of this.

As it pertains to this issue of walls (and witnesses) talking, the Bible says:

“Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you?“ (1 Corinthians 3:16)

Also note:

“You show that you are a letter from Christ… written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.“ (2 Corinthians 3:3)

Jesus said:

“By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.“ (John 13:35) 

So if your walls could talk:

• Would they testify that there you communicate the Gospel with and without words?

Are You a Light in Your Home?

Are you a light to your spouse, your children, your neighbors, and everyone who comes in contact with you?

Do you learn from your mistakes? And do you confess to God and those you offend, asking for forgiveness and working with God to stop this behavior?

Lastly, are you living an authentic life in Christ?

We’re asking you these questions to both challenge and urge you to consider your personal walk with the Lord and your walk within your home. We ask ourselves these same questions. And to that end we pray the Lord will help ALL of us to live faithfully for the rest of our lives here on earth. All of this goes along with something Jesus asked. He asked and then stated:

“Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I tell you? Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house, and could not shake it, because it had been well built.” (Luke 6:46-48)

That is our prayer for all of us. We pray we will build our marriages, our homes, and our lives on the strong foundation of Jesus Christ!

Cindy and Steve Wright

— ADDITIONALLY —

To help you further, we give a lot of personal stories, humor, and more practical tips in our book, 7 ESSENTIALS to Grow Your Marriage. We hope you will pick up a copy for yourself. (It’s available both electronically and in print form.) Plus, it can make a great gift for someone else. It gives you the opportunity to help them grow their marriage. And who doesn’t need that? Just click on the linked title or the picture below:

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