“It’s not enough to just earn money and expect to have it for the things we need. We need to manage our money. We must use the money in a planned and careful manner… the “B” word… budget. Some teach that Christians should have no concern for money, as ‘worldly’. And, Jesus said not to ‘worry’ about food, clothes, etc. (See: Matthew 6:25-34). Planning isn’t worrying… it’s being a good steward of what God has put under your oversight. It’s about managing money and not letting it manage us.” (Glen Williams, EHF, web-church.com)
Managing Money God Entrusts to Us
So how do you become a good steward of “what God has put under your oversight?” Part of the answer to this is realizing what God is entrusting to your care and then learning how to take care of it.
[A Christian financial counselor told us] “Most Christian couples I talk to don’t understand that all they have is God’s and that they’re only stewards for Him. They may know this intellectually, but it hasn’t become a part of their attitudes or lives. Consequently, they get themselves into debt. They also quarrel about money, and spend excessively on themselves.
“I’m convinced that if we could get people to understand the truth of the fact that all they have belongs to God and they’re only stewards handling His property, most of their problems would be overcome.”
My mind probed the truth of what he said. A “steward” is a person put in charge of the affairs or the estate of another, including supervision and management of accounts. The steward acts as an administrator of the finances and property for another.
“To be good stewards in our Christian lives, then means that we realize deep within us that we’re only managers and administrators for what belongs to God and is temporarily loaned to us. God tells us to be good stewards of our time, talents, and our possessions. But in reality, they’re His time, His bestowed talents, and His possessions— not ours at all. (Jack Mayhall, Opposites Attack)
Managing Money Guidelines
So, if that is the case, that I am an administrator for what belongs to God, what are some rules for managing His money?
To help you in your quest for learning how to manage money in God’s way, we’d like to refer you to an article written by Mark Rutland, which appears on the web site for Charisma Magazine. To read this article, please click onto the link below:
• THREE RULES FOR MANAGING MONEY
-ALSO-
Financial expert, Matt Bell brings out the point:
“When you can’t get your spouse to stop spending so much money (or start spending money, or buy better quality stuff, or stop spending so much to buy better quality stuff, or…), usually the issue isn’t really about the words coming out of your mouth while you’re arguing about it.
“It isn’t really about the spending or the saving or whatever else the issue seems to be about. There’s an issue behind the issue. It’s that he or she comes from a family where they always did it that way, or it’s because of a desire for more security or more freedom or…”
To learn more, please click onto the Crosswalk.com link to read:
• TWO STEPS FOR BETTER MONEY MANAGEMENT IN MARRIAGE
— ALSO —
There is something that most couples neglect when they are managing their finances —something that none of us, according to financial expert Dave Ramsey, says we should neglect. Please click onto the link provided below to read:
• LEGACY DRAWER: Keep Your Family Prepared
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International compiled this article.
If you have any additional tips you can share to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
Filed under: Finances in Marriage
(USA) These are just rules. What about people in difficult marriages with husbands who won’t be told what to do with their money? I am talking about a husband who:
1. lives from hand to mouth
2. gives very generous gifts without talking to wife
3. Has huge credit card debt and pays the minimum and gives the rest away without even thinking
4. Get’s into commitments of taking care of his adult siblings’ numerous children
5. Wrongly quotes/interprets the Bible “… Don’t worry about tomorrow…”
6. Very stubborn and arrogant and won’t be told what to do
Maybe Cindy/Tony or any other prayerful person somewhere can help. I am a committed wife. I love and willingly submit to my husband so divorce is not an option for us (I take my vows seriously). I need advice on prayer where meaningful discussions have failed. Rules/discussions don’t work with difficult spouses.
I need some encouragement to wait for God. Tony, Cindy or other experienced mature Christians, I need spiritual advice on perseverance because I will not let the devil win or smile as we drown in debt.
Hi Li, The reply that you received from Tony covered a lot of what we would have told you to do. (Thank you Tony.) But if those solutions don’t work, please don’t underestimate the ways in which God can take care of you, despite your husband not partnering with you on this. You may not have as much financially, as you would have had otherwise, if your husband had cooperated, but God can and will take care of all your needs as you look to Him.
There are times when a spouse will decide to do things his or her own way, despite the fact that they vowed to enter into “marriage” which means they are to stop doing things their own way and instead partner with the spouse they have married. When this happens, all kinds of things go off kilter. We can see quite a few examples of this in the Bible: Eve and Adam and “the fall” (as seen in Genesis 3)… Abraham and Sarai, and how his lies to the Pharaoh, concerning their marriage, almost brought a nation down (as seen in Genesis 1:12)… Rebekah and Abraham, and the deception of her plotting with their son to deceive Abraham (as seen in Genesis 25)… Abigail and Nabal (as seen in 1 Samuel 25)… to name just a few.
When our spouse goes on and does something independent — something that hurts our lives together, we do what we can to try to respectfully approach matters in partnership together, but if that doesn’t happen (at least for the present time) we look all the more to God to redeem that which is disturbing to us. We look to Him for the type of grace that we truly need.
Paul D Tripp (in his book “What Did You Expect”) wrote something that relates to this: “There are moments in our marriages when we’re crying out for grace, not recognizing that we’re getting it. We’re not getting the grace of relief or release, because that isn’t the grace we really need. No, what we’re getting is something we desperately need, the uncomfortable grace of personal growth and change. With the love of a Father, your Lord is prying open your hands so you’ll let go of that which rules your heart but will never satisfy you. With the insight of a seasoned teacher, He is driving you to question your own wisdom so that you will let go of your understanding and rest in His. With the skill of the world’s best counselor, God is showing you the delusions of your control so that you will take comfort in His rule. With the gentleness of a faithful friend He is facing you toward the inadequacies of your own righteousness so that you find hope in His.
“When you are tired and uncomfortable because you have been called to live with someone who is not like you, what you tell yourself about what you are going through is very important. It is in this moment that you must preach to yourself the theology of uncomfortable grace (See Romans 5; James 1; and 1 Peter 1).”
Sometimes, when we’re faced with marital situations that seem unfair and we’ve done all we can to try to work through it with them, and yet there isn’t any change that we can see, the best thing we can do is depend upon the grace and peace God can give, despite the circumstances. It’s amazing how He takes care of our needs as we surrender our agenda and embrace that which He can give us. I wish my answer could be different, but that’s what I’ve seen to be true. Look to God to meet the needs you have that your husband just won’t. Despite where you are in this problem at this time, I hope that you will prosper in the ways that God intends for you. “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit!” (Romans 15:13)
(USA) Thank you Cindy for taking time to help me and reminding of something I ought to apply everyday of my life. My righteousness is inadequate so I should rest in His (God’s). Whenever I lose faith I find myself toiling and it gets the life out of me. I believe God has a greater purpose for us and these senseless challenges are meant to make us aware of a greater power.
Eventually, everything works for the good of those who fear God. Our battle is not is not against flesh and blood. God is in the battlefield for me. He is my strength. May God bless you for your faith in his word so much that you share it with others.
(USA) I’m flattered that you would value my advice. I’m sorry you find yourself in your current situation. The most important thing is that you are both on the same page, and hopefully it’s God’s page when it comes to finances. I’d look at the resources at crown.org and/or see if a local church is running a Crown Financial seminar. It really teaches God’s way to handle money.
Another good one is Dave Ramsey and his Financial Peace materials. The church next to ours is actually running that program as it started this week. The last link above is from Dave Ramsey’s website. Either are a great way of getting your financial house in order. But it takes both to be on-board with that. So the real question is how to encourage your husband to get on board?
Why not take Daniels approach? When Daniel was captured and offered all the rich foods, he proposed to the guards that he be placed on a different diet and after a time period, the guards would compare him to those who ate the king’s rich foods. After that period, it was Daniel who was the most healthy and the others were put on the same diet as Daniel.
” 1 In the third year of the reign of Jehoiakim king of Judah, Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon came to Jerusalem and besieged it. 2 And the Lord delivered Jehoiakim king of Judah into his hand, along with some of the articles from the temple of God. These he carried off to the temple of his god in Babylonia[a] and put in the treasure house of his god.
3 Then the king ordered Ashpenaz, chief of his court officials, to bring into the king’s service some of the Israelites from the royal family and the nobility— 4 young men without any physical defect, handsome, showing aptitude for every kind of learning, well informed, quick to understand, and qualified to serve in the king’s palace. He was to teach them the language and literature of the Babylonians.[b] 5 The king assigned them a daily amount of food and wine from the king’s table. They were to be trained for three years, and after that they were to enter the king’s service.
6 Among those who were chosen were some from Judah: Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah. 7 The chief official gave them new names: to Daniel, the name Belteshazzar; to Hananiah, Shadrach; to Mishael, Meshach; and to Azariah, Abednego.
8 But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way. 9 Now God had caused the official to show favor and compassion to Daniel, 10 but the official told Daniel, “I am afraid of my lord the king, who has assigned your[c] food and drink. Why should he see you looking worse than the other young men your age? The king would then have my head because of you.”
11 Daniel then said to the guard whom the chief official had appointed over Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah, 12 “Please test your servants for ten days: Give us nothing but vegetables to eat and water to drink. 13 Then compare our appearance with that of the young men who eat the royal food, and treat your servants in accordance with what you see.” 14 So he agreed to this and tested them for ten days.
15 At the end of the ten days they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food. 16 So the guard took away their choice food and the wine they were to drink and gave them vegetables instead.
17 To these four young men God gave knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning. And Daniel could understand visions and dreams of all kinds.
18 At the end of the time set by the king to bring them into his service, the chief official presented them to Nebuchadnezzar. 19 The king talked with them, and he found none equal to Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah; so they entered the king’s service. 20 In every matter of wisdom and understanding about which the king questioned them, he found them ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters in his whole kingdom.
21 And Daniel remained there until the first year of King Cyrus. ”
So why not propose the same to your husband? Divide the bills so each of you has the amount to pay each month. I.E. you have the same amount of debt he does. You have the same amount of cash he does, and you have the same monthly bills as he does. Do likewise with the income. One half the income goes into your account, the other into his. You practice what you learn from whatever Christian financial instruction you choose, he goes his way. At the end of the year, see who has more money, less debt, etc.
Unexpected expenses such as needing a hot water heater for the home are split by both. However, each of you is responsible for your own car, maintenance, repairs, fuel, insurance, etc. After then end of the year, you agree with the plan that has the highest net worth at the end.
Perhaps engage a Christian financial planner to help you establish the program and evaluate the results at the end of the year.
There is probably more to this than I’m saying, but it can prove which method results in the higher net worth and/or better stewardship of the blessings you’ve been given.
(USA) Thank you Tony for your kindness and the application of God’s word in the problem I adressed. God did extraordinary things for his servants like Daniel because of their humility and faith. My circumstances are a bit challenging right now and like I said, I am dealing with somebody who won’t be told how and when to do things. If the communication between him and me had been good, I am sure your suggestions would have improved the siituation.
But I will never say never because nothing is impossible with God. I look forward to a time we will be able to have meaningful discussions, with him listening to helpful advice. God has heard my prayers and will surely do away with the confusion and pain the devil has brought into my life.
(USA) Hi! I wrote because I can identify with the ongoing discussion here. My husband gives generous amount of gifts and would prefer for me not to know about it. He is even taking care of his siblings child/children and sends them to school. When I try to confront him, he tells me I’m greedy of money.
I know that we need to help others, especially our immediate family. I have also considered and have understood him about it because of our culture, and that is to help our relatives. But my concern is that we don’t have savings of our own, and we have 3 kids. Please help me understand if I’m wrong of confronting him about it or should I just let go and trust God even if until now he prefers I will not mind his giving to his relatives and family. What should i do so that this money matter will not be the cause of our fight? Thank you for the enlightenment that you can give my troubled heart and mind. Myra
Dear Cindy, The problem in my marriage of 16 years is that on finances as much as we split responsibilities, I have to remind my husband on a monthly basis on his payments, which he has since refused to arrange for debit orders.
There are many areas in which he does not see value. For example: I have life policy, retirement annuity and he does not have those. He embarks on projects that are not investments for future but takes money away from the family.
Kids have all basic needs but as a mother I understand their needs differently. We are now 46 and 49 years of age.
I have since decided to mind my own finances and continue investing on the future of the kids. He believes I like spending.
I want to say thank you so much for all insightful information in this site and also to be encouraged to fight the good fight of faith and stop fighting each other but I don’t stop putting down my opinions even if he makes his own decisions.