I am constantly amazed by how easy it is to overlook one of the more obvious facts about men and women: They’re different! There are many individual differences between men and women.
Feminists and others in the recent past have worked to blur the distinctions between the sexes. But this effort is ultimately doomed because God created us male and female —different.
… All of us know that men and women are separated by more than basic, biological nuances. But just how different are we? After considerable research, an author named Cris Evatt developed a general summary of male and female personality traits.
Of course, these are generalizations that may only apply in degrees to any particular person. Some items on the list probably relate more to social conditioning than real personality differences.
But you will enjoy reviewing and discussing the following list with your spouse:
MEN |
WOMEN |
| More self-focused | More other-focused |
| Needs less intimacy | Needs more intimacy |
| Fears engulfment | Fears abandonment |
| Feels less resentful | Feels more resentful |
| Needs less approval | Needs more approval |
| More independent | Less independent |
| Often detached | Often emotional |
| An attention-getter | An attention-giver |
| Highly competitive | Less competitive |
| Strong drive for power/money | Less important drive for power/money |
| Respect very important | Respect less important |
| Often obsessed with sports | Sports less important |
| Talks mostly about “things” | Talks mostly about “people” |
| Less talkative in private | Less talkative in public |
| Takes things literally | Looks for hidden meanings |
| Language more direct | Language more indirect |
| Less Responsive listener | More responsive listener |
| Decisions made quicker | Takes more time to decide |
| Gossips less | Gossips more |
| Engages in put-downs | Engages in backbiting |
| Focuses more on solutions | Likes to discuss problems |
| Less apologetic | More apologetic |
| Tells more jokes/stories | Tells fewer jokes/stories |
| Less willing to seek help | Seeks help readily |
| Boasts about performance | Boasts less frequently |
| Nags less often | Nags more often |
| Often intimidates others | Seldom intimidates others |
| Issues orders | Makes suggestions |
| Often seeks conflict | Tends to avoid conflict |
| Likes to be adored | Likes to adore others |
| Fearful of commitment | Eager for commitment |
| Sexually jealous of mate | Emotionally jealous of mate |
| Accepts others more | Tries to change others more |
| Thrives on receiving | Thrives on giving |
| More polygamous | More monogamous |
| More sadistic | More masochistic |
| More sex-oriented | More love-oriented |
| Has fewer close friends | Has many close friends |
| Likes group activities | Prefers intimate encounters |
| Worries less about others | Worries more about others |
| More sensitive to stress | Less sensitive to stress |
| Less trusting | Often too trusting |
| More aggressive | Less agressive |
| Initiates war | Does not make war |
| Posture leans back more | Posture leans forward more |
| Cooler/seductive sexiness | warmer/animated sexiness |
| Has more testosterone | Has more estrogen |
| Less into dieting | More into dieting |
| Less concerned about health | More concerned about health |
| Worries less about appearance | Worries more about appearance |
| Takes more physical risks | Takes fewer physical risks |
| Shops out of necessity | Often shops for enjoyment |
The Challenging Task
Whew! A list like that makes it clear why combining two people with different qualities and approaches to life into a marriage is a challenging task. And to complicate things more, sometimes a quality that attracted you to your mate— “He’s so funny!” —can frustrate you after marriage: “Why can’t he be serious once in a while?” That’s why you should often remind each other, “You are God’s perfect gift for me.” You need to trust Him and His plan.
This article comes from the book, Starting Your Marriage Right: What You Need to Know in the Early Years to Make It Last a Lifetime. It is written by Dennis and Barbara Rainey, published by Thomas Nelson Publishers. This book contains information on what you need to know and do in the early years to make your marriage last a lifetime. This would be a great book to give as a shower gift, or a wedding gift. It offers concrete ways to put important principles into practice to help you build a solid foundation for your marriage.
— ALSO —
Below is a link to the Crosswalk.com web site article. We believe it could help you recognize these differences even further. Please read:
• JUST HOW DIFFERENT ARE MEN AND WOMEN?
If you have additional tips you can share to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
Filed under: For Married Men For Married Women
(USA) I remember years ago on the radio, Dr. Dobson said that testosterone does something to the corpus collosum on male newborns which contributes to the fact that male brains and female brains then don’t work the same way. He said or implied then that the female brain would have more connections between brain hemispheres. Where could I get more data on that, research, or more info? Thank you.
You were right when you said these were generalisations. They certainly are and in my case (female), most are just not true. Terrible article.