Individual Differences Between Men and Women

wedding-706408_640I am constantly amazed by how easy it is to overlook one of the more obvious facts about men and women: They’re different! There are many individual differences between men and women.

Feminists and others in the recent past have worked to blur the distinctions between the sexes. But this effort is ultimately doomed because God created us male and female —different.

… All of us know that men and women are separated by more than basic, biological nuances. But just how different are we? After considerable research, an author named Cris Evatt developed a general summary of male and female personality traits.

Of course, these are generalizations that may only apply in degrees to any particular person. Some items on the list probably relate more to social conditioning than real personality differences.

But you will enjoy reviewing and discussing the following list with your spouse:



More self-focusedMore other-focused
Needs less intimacyNeeds more intimacy
Fears engulfmentFears abandonment
Feels less resentfulFeels more resentful
Needs less approvalNeeds more approval
More independentLess independent
Often detachedOften emotional
An attention-getterAn attention-giver
Highly competitiveLess competitive
Strong drive for power/moneyLess important drive for power/money
Respect very importantRespect less important
Often obsessed with sportsSports less important
Talks mostly about “things”Talks mostly about “people”
Less talkative in privateLess talkative in public
Takes things literallyLooks for hidden meanings
Language more directLanguage more indirect
Less Responsive listenerMore responsive listener
Decisions made quickerTakes more time to decide
Gossips lessGossips more
Engages in put-downsEngages in backbiting
Focuses more on solutionsLikes to discuss problems
Less apologeticMore apologetic
Tells more jokes/storiesTells fewer jokes/stories
Less willing to seek helpSeeks help readily
Boasts about performanceBoasts less frequently
Nags less oftenNags more often
Often intimidates othersSeldom intimidates others
Issues ordersMakes suggestions
Often seeks conflictTends to avoid conflict
Likes to be adoredLikes to adore others
Fearful of commitmentEager for commitment
Sexually jealous of mateEmotionally jealous of mate
Accepts others moreTries to change others more
Thrives on receivingThrives on giving
More polygamousMore monogamous
More sadisticMore masochistic
More sex-orientedMore love-oriented
Has fewer close friendsHas many close friends
Likes group activitiesPrefers intimate encounters
Worries less about othersWorries more about others
More sensitive to stressLess sensitive to stress
Less trustingOften too trusting
More aggressiveLess agressive
Initiates warDoes not make war
Posture leans back morePosture leans forward more
Cooler/seductive sexinesswarmer/animated sexiness
Has more testosteroneHas more estrogen
Less into dietingMore into dieting
Less concerned about healthMore concerned about health
Worries less about appearanceWorries more about appearance
Takes more physical risksTakes fewer physical risks
Shops out of necessityOften shops for enjoyment


The Challenging Task

Whew! A list like that makes it clear why combining two people with different qualities and approaches to life into a marriage is a challenging task. And to complicate things more, sometimes a quality that attracted you to your mate— “He’s so funny!” —can frustrate you after marriage: “Why can’t he be serious once in a while?” That’s why you should often remind each other, “You are God’s perfect gift for me.” You need to trust Him and His plan.

This article comes from the book, Starting Your Marriage Right: What You Need to Know in the Early Years to Make It Last a Lifetime. It is written by Dennis and Barbara Rainey, published by Thomas Nelson Publishers. This book contains information on what you need to know and do in the early years to make your marriage last a lifetime. This would be a great book to give as a shower gift, or a wedding gift. It offers concrete ways to put important principles into practice to help you build a solid foundation for your marriage.

— ALSO —

Below is a link to the web site article. We believe it could help you recognize these differences even further. Please read:


If you have additional tips you can share to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.

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Filed under: For Married Men For Married Women

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One response to “Individual Differences Between Men and Women

  1. (USA)  I remember years ago on the radio, Dr. Dobson said that testosterone does something to the corpus collosum on male newborns which contributes to the fact that male brains and female brains then don’t work the same way. He said or implied then that the female brain would have more connections between brain hemispheres. Where could I get more data on that, research, or more info? Thank you.