Be nice… be kind. I know this may seem like a simplistic message, but actually it’s not. It’s something that, unfortunately, we have a tendency to forget to do for each other, within our marriages.
It’s like we get a marriage license and it’s almost as if we get the attitude (demonstrated by our actions) that our spouse should just put up with our being snarky, and unkind. But a marriage license is not a license to do that, which we shouldn’t do. This is especially true of the one person we vowed to “love, honor, and cherish” for the rest of our lives.
I’m reminded of this right now because of the video series we’re helping to host tonight and tomorrow at our church. We’re showing the DVD series, Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage with Mark Gungor. We love this seminar and recommend that every couple watch or obtain the DVD’s to watch. It’s so much fun, and there’s so much you can learn!
Be Nice; Be Kind
One of the points that Mark tells the guys (repeatedly) is to “be nice to the girl.” Again, it seems obvious that this should be done. But it’s apparently not, because we hear from spouses all the time where kindness is neglected. It goes both ways. Husbands need to be nice to their wives and wives need to be nice to their husbands.
I read something in my devotional today that is true. It said:
“Marriages are damaged because of the way way distractions deplete our resources and destroy our relationships.”
We get so busy, we get so distracted and caught up in that, which is going on around us (caused by the tyranny of the urgent) that we forget to be kind to the one human being we should be most kind to —our spouse. Here’s where the old saying applies, “if you’re too busy to be kind, you’re too busy.” Something needs to go… and it SHOULDN’T be our spouse.
Treat Your Spouse Better Than Your Friends
On Facebook, the other day, I posted the following. It’s something we need to pay attention to (quoted by Dr Thomas R. Lee):
“Ask yourself if you’d treat a friend the way you sometimes treat your spouse. Would you criticize or put him or her down? Sometimes if we treated our friends the way we treat our spouse, we wouldn’t have many friends. Work to make him or her happy rather than better. Nurture that friendship. You know yourself and your spouse best. So think of ways you can strengthen your friendship and your marriage.”
And that’s it. That’s what I want to encourage you to do. This is your reminder. As Mark Gungor says, have a “stubborn commitment to do what is right.” Be nice. Be kind to one another. Remember, “Love is patient, and love is kind.”
“Love one another, as Christ Jesus has loved you, and gave Himself up for you.”
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this blog.
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