I Don’t Even Like Him—How Can I Pray for Him?
Have you ever been so mad at your husband that the last thing you wanted to do was pray for him? So have I. It’s hard to pray for someone when you’re angry or he’s hurt you.
But that’s exactly what God wants us to do. If He asks us to pray for our enemies, how much more should we be praying for the person with whom we have become one and are supposed to love? But how do we get past the unforgiveness and critical attitude?
Honest with God
The first thing to do is be completely honest with God. In order to break down the walls in our hearts and smash the barriers that stop communication, we have to be totally up front with the Lord about our feelings. We don’t have to “pretty it up” for Him. He already knows the truth. He just wants to see if we’re willing to admit it and confess it as disobedience to His ways. If so, He then has a heart with which He can work.
Power of Praying Wife
If you’re angry at your husband, tell God. Don’t let it become a cancer that grows with each passing day. Don’t say, “I’m going to live my life and let him live his.” There’s a price to pay when we act entirely independently of one another. “Neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 11:11).
Instead say:
“Lord, nothing in me wants to pray for this man. I confess my anger, hurt, unforgiveness, disappointment, resentment, and hardness of heart toward him. Forgive me and create in me a clean heart and right spirit before You. Give me a new, positive, joyful, loving, forgiving attitude toward him. Where he has erred, reveal it to him and convict his heart about it. Lead him through the paths of repentance and deliverance. Help me not to hold myself apart from him emotionally, mentally, or physically because of unforgiveness. Where either of us needs to ask forgiveness of the other, help us to do so.
If there is something I’m not seeing that’s adding to this problem, reveal it to me and help me to understand it. Remove any wedge of confusion that has created misunderstanding or miscommunication. Where there is behavior that needs to change in either of us, I pray You would enable that change to happen. As much as I want to hang on to my anger toward him because I feel it’s justified, I want to do what You want. I release all those feelings to You. Give me a renewed sense of love for him and words to heal this situation.”
A Challenge
If you feel you’re able, try this little experiment and see what happens. Pray for your husband every day for a month using each one of the 30 areas of prayer I’ve included in this book. Pray a chapter a day. Ask God to pour out His blessings on him and fill you both with His love. See if your heart doesn’t soften toward him. Notice if his attitude toward you doesn’t change as well. Observe whether your relationship isn’t running more smoothly.
If you have trouble making that kind of prayer commitment, think of it from the Lord’s perspective. Seeing your husband through God’s eyes—not just as your husband, but as God’s child, a son whom the Lord loves —can be a great revelation. If someone called and asked you to pray for his or her son, you would do it, wouldn’t you? Well, God is asking.
There is a time for everything, as it says in the Bible. That’s never more true than in marriage, especially when it comes to the words we say. There is a time to speak and a time not to speak, and happy is the man whose wife can discern between the two.
Pray Rather Than Say
Anyone who has been married for any length of time realizes that there are things that are better left unsaid. A wife has the ability to hurt her husband more deeply than anyone else can, and he can do the same to her. No matter how much apology, the words cannot be erased. They can only be forgiven and that’s not always easy. Sometimes anything we say will only hinder the flow of what God wants to do, so it’s best to, well, shut up and pray.
This is an excerpt from, The Power of a Praying® Wife
— TO HELP YOUR FURTHER —
Below are linked articles to read to guide you to pray for your husband in different ways than you might have otherwise thought:
• 10 Things Praying for Your Husband Does for You (the Wife)
• 30 Days of Praying for Your Husband
Filed under: For Married Women Spiritual Matters
Needing prayer warriors to stand and pray with me for my husband’s salvation and restoration for my 20 yr marriage. My husband gave up on God and his family. He did have an affair, which I forgave him for. I have so much love and compassion for him as I see his hurt and anger for so many things he has not let go of all the way from his childhood. Would love to see my husband a changed man who loves God and bring him home. I know who the true enemy is and want my husband back.
I pray for the others above. Bonnie, I pray for you too because I’m in your shoes in which my husband also had an affair and contemplating whether or not to stay in our marriage because he feels empty, lost sight of God, lost passion for his job, overwhelmed with our finances, and lost feelings for me. Despite this, I want to save our marriage too. I’m praying for your husband and my husband to return and that God will restore pureness and love in their hearts.
Everything you have gone through, I have too, but after my husband’s affair 17 years ago, he got cancer twice, I was right there, but as the years have gone by my husband has not forgiven himself. These 16 years has kept me on my knees, our family has been split. Our oldest son and my husband are in a split relationship. My husband had a heart attack and kidney failure last March, 2015. Was in coma 7 days, doctors said he would not make it. Well, I never received it, I went in and prayed and God heard me, 7 days later he woke up. They said he would be on dialyses, but no God healed him. I feel God is still working on my husband with the un-forgiveness issues. Oh did I say he was a Pastor. I love my husband, we have been together 46 years, God has truly blessed me today reading this article. I want my husband to feel the true love of God. He had a terrible young life, but I know God has brought my husband this far, by Grace and Mercy. He will also be 82, he had a cat scan this week for signs of dementia, but God can heal that too. See we serve an awesome God, so please never give up on God or your husband, God hasn’t.
Being together almost half century coming February, I found out he’s been approaching someone from HCM. He just got back from holidays with his friend. I have peace since I know the Lord. But I wonder now is history going to repeat? The Holy Spirit tells me to be patient, 1 Corinthians 13 love is kind. Would like to ask your advice. Should I see his app or keep silent and continue praying to the Lord. I choose to be happy, things know less, hurts less. Thanks. please keep me in prayers. God bless!
How really do I do this? my husband has had countless, I mean, it has been woman after woman for 16 years, sometimes several women at once. He has never been faithful ever since I met him and all these years/times I would forgive him thinking things will get better but it has just gotten worse. He sleeps with basically everybody, his friend’ wives, my friends, my sister and I just found out he has been having an affair with a girl that is exactly his daughter’s age. I’ve tried living by God’s commands, praying, fasting and now I’m at a dead end. I honeslty do not know what to do from here because he also doesn’t want to seek help and he doesn’t want a relationship with God. We have four young kids and I’m just torn apart I don’t know what to do
Please trust God, have You considered a Christian counselor. Keep praying for your husband, God see’s your pain.
My husband is having an affair with a married woman but also having an affair on her with another married woman. He doesn’t know that I’m aware of this and has told me that both women are just friends and that he needs to be separated to get closer to God, that’s not what I know. I’ve been praying for him and I will not give up because God will answer my prayers in his way and at his time. I know you are hurting and have gone thru a lot of pain but give your burdens to God and he will help you with your request. It may not be what you want at this time but it will be what is best for you and your children. I will pray for you and your family that you have God’s Armor surround you and your family. God Bless you.
Hi hun, keep seeking god. God will answer your prayer trust in the Lord and get a good christian councillor to help you. Don’t give up
Hi Nonto, I just want to encourage you to keep praying! As hard as it is, it might be best to seperate yourself for a time; maybe move into ur family’s place but by no means I’m saying divorce. Just sometimes things have to hit rock bottom for them to get a grip on life to how important it is having a beautiful wife and children! If he sees that he can’t have his cake and eat it too, which is you putting up boundaries on your behalf in a godly way, because Jesus wouldn’t want you to be treated like this. So pray about what boundaries to put in place because clearly he is like a teenager and he needs those boundaries and please do it in love and stick to it but also seek a Christian Counselor to back up ur decisions so you keep strong! God bless your heart, bless and protect family ☺️ In the Name of Christ Jesus!
Hi, my name is Christian and my husband’s name is Richard. He is in jail at the moment; he missed his court dates – not meaning to, it just happened that way. We went to see his mother in New York and while we were there her mother and brother put her in a mental hospital and abandoned her. She has brain injuries from a car accident in 2010 but she not mental. I found out which hospital she was in and would visit. Well, after she was there a week the Dr. saw she’s not mentally ill.
I was called to the hospital to speak with Dr. They asked me where she was gonna go since her mother wasn’t safe and I said she could come with us. So that’s why he missed court because our visit turned into bigger things. We are back home now and she is also with us. My husband turned himself in to do the right thing but the court’s are really wanting to give him prison time. I really need lots of prayer for my family. Thanks, in Jesus name.
Hi my name is Anisa. Please pray for me. My husband emotionally abuses me everyday. Now he says he wants to leave and all those nasty things. He also has affairs. Please, I am desperate. I have a little boy who loves his dad and I love my husband as well. I don’t want to lose him.
Praying for your marriage, Anisa. God has the last say.
Hi my name is Rosie, please pray for me and my husband Brandon. We are at a crucial point in our marriage. We have only been married for 1 and 1/2 years He is controlling, has fallen out of fellowship with God, has a lot of unresolved issues from his childhood and it’s taking a toll on our family. I don’t want to consider divorce, but the emotional and mental abuse in the relationship is too much. Everyday it gets worse. I have a 15 year old son who has become his punching bag, please pray for us.
My name is Krystle and my husband and I have been married for almost 7 yrs. We are currently separated and he lives with another woman, but I believe God has the final say and is the only person that can end our marriage for good… I’m asking that you all stand in prayer for us that God ressurects, restores and repairs our marriage.
Please pray for me and my husband. He has really changed with me and I suspect that he’s having an affair. He is secretive, defensive, protective of his cell phone, stays out more than normal and have distanced himself from me. I am bitter, hurt, angry, sad, and wondering what I’ve done to deserve this. I’ve started to read “The Power of A Praying Wife and I’ve been encouraged and uplifted. I’ve begun to pray for my marriage, my husband and myself. I know I have a long journey ahead. Please prayer warrior stand with me in prayer. I want my husband back, the man that God gave to me. The enemy WILL NOT destroy us,
Praying for you Diane. God will restore what has been stolen.
I’m praying for ALL! Creator of the universe please heal the land…your people are crying out to you. Asking you to give them the desires of their ❤. We have the victory! Amen.
Please pray for my marriage of two and a half years. My husband packed up and left without a reason but I know it’s another woman. I truly don’t believe God put me in a marriage for a divorce. I love my husband and I’m praying God intervenes and helps us reconcile. My husband’s heart is so hardend towards me and I’m so afraid I’m losing him. I need all the prayer warriors to intercede on behalf of my marrage.
I need God to please give me grace to pray for my husband because he has placed me in a situation that makes me feel very bitter about him. He has hurt me so many times and continued to hurt me me.
We married for almost 14 yrs and have two kids 6 yrs and 3 yr olds. All these years, my husband hides his marriage to his family abroad; holds me as well not to tell, saying his mom is a heart patient (which turned out not true) and assured he will take care everything on time. With that his mom did engagement of him to another woman with his consent; later when the other family came to know about his marriage and kids they cancelled the engagement. But this woman was already in the country where we are now, so she came and see me and kids.
In the last 3 yrs my husband told he doesn’t have any relationship with her; and he said his mom doesn’t like me as his wife, so walked out from our life. But on and off he lived with me almost 1.5 yrs in the last 3 yrs. But last month I came to know that he’s is living with that woman in another province almost 2500km away (but still claim they are not in any relationship). Her family also wasn’t aware of this, and now they came to know about their living together and tried every means to convince her, but she is not listening or answering them. My husband never calls or sees our kids whenever he goes and live with that woman. He never pays a penny to our kids or me in the last 3yrs. Both of them made a lot of lie-story and badmouth about me to her and his families. Her family only told me everything, that’s when I realized his true colors.
That woman knows he’s still married to me and has two kids, but yes it is their decision I know; but not sure why they hide and told my husband is living and working in another place which is closer to my town and he not see or visit own kids. Every day every single second I remember his lies and think how emotionally I was broken and cried every time he said (lies) about his living, food, stay, heath and travel issues and all. Whenever I see my kids faces it is very hard to control my cries. We both do not have any friends or family in this country. So, its very hard to go through or get any help at all. Now I know that I was trapped in for his and his family’s financial betterment as he has taken a lot lot money from my working all these yrs and put me in a high credit card debt as well.
He shows care whenever he see the kids, but if he really loves them then he cannot live without see or talk to them, he talked to kids 4 times in 10months. I still love him I know, but now I know who he really is too. For my kids personal development at this younger age I want him back in their life, but not sure it will happen at least in their life. Please pray for us, Thanks.
Please pray for my marriage. My husband and I have been unfaithful and we are trying to build our family again. I keep bringing up the past (even though it’s one word or what I think is a simple question) and it gets him really angry at me. Please pray for me to forgive him totally because I need the forgiveness, as well. Pray that I will forgive how rude and disrespectful the woman was to me and that I’ll leave it in the hands of God for justice. We want to be happy and not fighting. Thank you.
Prayer request for my marriage. We have been separated for almost 4 years but have been in communication through all this time despite our separation he went to Central America approx 1 1/2 year ago. He stated he was going to see his kids and that he wanted us to get back together. Yet the time frame of a few months has extended to over 1 1/2 yrs. He was to come back on 3/29 and gave me a strange excuse and that he should be back if all goes well in 4-12 months. I feel as if I’m being strung on. I simply don’t want to be in communication with him anymore. I’m hurt and disgusted by him and realize I have not worked out my anger towards him. All that is floating in my head is divorce. Please pray the Lord’s will be done in my life and that I can let go of the brokenness of pain in my heart and bless him where ever he is, in Jesus name.
Can you please pray for my marriage? My husband walked away 4 months ago and I still can’t find healing cos I love him so much. No one understands what I’m going through. No one can feel my pain and now I just want GOD to heal me because I can’t see through my tears the plans that GOD has for me. All I want is to see him in the midst of my tears and pain.
Please pray for my spouse to continue to be faithful to me always, thanks. Please pray that Christ helps my husband not to see the European woman and still not sleep with that German girl please. Thanks a lot.