Have you ever thought of putting together a “bucket list” of things you would like to do before you leave this earth? (Then you work on completing each one.) How about a marriage bucket list? Are you wondering what we’re talking about here? Joe McKeever gives a good explanation of what a “bucket list” would involve:
“This has become a popular parlor game and a best-selling theme for all kinds of books. It contains places to go, things to do, foods to eat, scenes to see, before you leave this world, or ‘kick the bucket.’ That’s what gave it the name ‘bucket list.’ Hollywood made a movie about this a few years ago.”
Marriage Bucket List
It’s something to consider doing. It can actually be fun. But we’re mostly encouraging you to make a marriage bucket list of things you can do together. We’re all for things we can do together as a husband and wife. There are so many things that can pull us apart in our marriages. That’s why we need to be pro-active in planning events to keep drawing us back together.
Some ministries recommend a marriage bucket list pertaining to dating ideas. Others recommend grander lists for married couples to do together. Jennifer Smith from the Unveiled Wife ministry recommended putting together a summer bucket list. She even titled it, How Summer Bucket Lists Can Protect Your Marriage. She made some great points in the article. They are ones that pertain to a summer list and beyond (like we are suggesting). No matter what, the following is true:
“The fun begins with sitting down to make the bucket list. Doing an activity like this with your spouse builds up hopefulness for the future, which contributes to a sense of security in the relationship. Plus you both get to add your opinions about what should be on the list. This requires both of you to yield to each other’s desires and listen to each other. Once you go on an adventure your senses get stimulated by the new scenery and the excitement in the discoveries you make. If you’re in any kind of a rut with your spouse or with God, this is a great way to climb right out of it!”
Creating Your Marriage Bucket List
Those are some great reasons to put your marriage bucket list together, and then enjoy the adventures. It can draw you even closer to one another. So, how do you create this list? One thing we encourage you to do is to look at the linked lists we’ll be giving you. Glean through the ideas and then compose your own marriage bucket list. Let your imaginations go wild. Take some from one list, some from others, and add your own. Just so you know, some of the lists are written from a Christian perspective. Others are not, but they still have some great ideas that you can use.
To start with, we are giving you a link to an article, posted on the Crosswalk.com web site. The author, Pastor Joe McKeever, actually wrote it for individual people to consider doing. But as we read through the list, we saw that most of these ideas can be adapted for a married couple to do together. Actually, it could be more meaningful to join together in doing them. We have done some of these already on our marriage journey. But this article now sparks other ideas that we want to put onto our bucket list to accomplish. See what you think. We encourage you to prayerfully read the list and discuss the possibilities:
• THE CHRISTIAN BUCKET LIST: 50 Things to Do Before Heaven
Below is a linked article that can inspire you as you look for what you would like to include in your own marriage bucket list. Marcus and Ashley Kusi came up with the ideas written in it. They are based on their book: Our Bucket List Adventures: A Journal for Couples. (You may even want to pick up their book to put your plans together and then journal your adventures.) See what you can discover for your own list:
• 115+ Bucket List Ideas for Couples
In another bucket list article, Jackie Bledsoe suggests that you “make a ‘movie’ together. But you may want to “write a book together.” That’s what we did. Someone asked us how long it took us to write the book, 7 Essentials to Grow Your Marriage. I thought about it and replied, 46 years. That’s because the book contains many of the “lessons” we’ve learned in our 46 years of marriage. It’s the Live, Learn, and Pass It On philosophy. If writing a book doesn’t work for you, then choose another, or several other ideas to do together.
Augusta Falletta gives some great ideas in her article, The Couples Bucket List You’ll Actually Want To Do. As she starts out in the article, she says, “Yes, ‘having a marshmallow fight’ is on here.” We love this idea! Augusta gives several really good suggestions for married couples to do together. This particular article is not written from a Christian perspective. (Be forewarned.) She suggests that you can do this with your “significant other.” But we can see where they are great suggestions for a married couple to accomplish together, which would make it all the more significant, as well as God ordained.
We encourage you to read, pray and see what you would want to add to your own list. Again, she gives some great ideas! (Just be careful of what you read or view of the other content on the web site.)
And then here’s another great goal to aim for concerning your marriage bucket list that you can work on together. Susan Merrill suggests this in her article, Take a Love Dare: Married Couples Bucket List.
“Pay off your mortgage.” We did that too. It took us a long time, and sacrifice to do so, but we did it. Every month, for years and years we added a little bit extra to our mortgage payment. Sometimes we could pay more, and sometimes it was less. But we tried to be consistent in paying at least something. And now that things are even tighter for us financially, we sure are glad we did! Not coming up with a mortgage payment each month is a relief!
A Great Goal
We can tell you first hand that it’s worth the sacrifice if you can do it. And it’s a great goal to work on together before you head for retirement. We know of several couples that have had to delay their retirement because their house is not paid off and they can’t afford to make those payments after retiring. If it is possible for you to pay off your mortgage sooner, we highly recommend it! (We also recommend that you read through Susan’s linked article. Plus read the comments below it to see if there are any additional goals you would like to put on your marriage bucket list.)
I found another bucket list that Susan Merrill wrote that has a lot of great suggestions. Susan gives a list of 20 possibilities you can choose from that you can do together. (You can find them in her article, Husband and Wife Bucket List.)
But there are two other things that also caught our attention in this article. One of them is an important challenge that she put forth. Here it is:
“Don’t wait until tomorrow to start chasing dreams with your spouse because we are only promised today. Enjoy all that life has to offer, together.”
She’s absolutely spot on with that challenge.
God’s Marriage Bucket List
And then the other thing that caught our attention is a comment that a woman Sandra made below the article. She wrote, “In meditating on the ‘bucket list’ (as a Christian), I began to wonder what God’s bucket list would be … something both husband and wife might consider for their OWN bucket list!”
That’s the challenge we would like to leave with you. Talk about what you and your spouse would like to include in your own marriage bucket list. But don’t leave God out of the discussion. What would God have you do together? Could it be that He wants you to work on your relationship so you leave a legacy of love for everyone to witness? Think about it. Pray about it. Then do as He leads. And please don’t wait to “start chasing” those dreams with your spouse with God leading the way.
Cindy and Steve Wright
— ADDITIONALLY —
We talk a lot about this legacy issue and so much more in our book, 7 ESSENTIALS to Grow Your Marriage. We hope you will pick up a copy for yourself (It’s available both electronically and in print form). Just click on the linked title or the “Now Available” picture below to do so:
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3 responses to “Putting Together Your Marriage Bucket List”
My wife and I are in the process of working down through our bucket list. Our motto in life is “Now, Not Later”. I have motor neuron disease (ALS) that began in my feet and legs and is working its way through my body. We have been on several vacation in the past few months and have more scheduled this fall. I am past the point of being able to walk, so a wheelchair is a part of each trip now. We are having fun and adapting to the increasing challenges of life. And in the midst of it all… praising God for each new day!
My dear brother, M. You have always been such an inspiration to the many people you’ve written to over the years on our web site. You have tremendous credibility when trying to help and encourage those who are suffering because you are living through the greatest challenge of your life and are still praising God in spite of all the pain and difficulty this disease is bringing into you and your wife’s life. What you have shared from what you’ve learned in your marriage has been a tremendous blessing as well.
We’ll probably never meet this side of heaven, but “someday” when we’re all on the other side I’m looking forward to coming up to you and thanking you personally for the contributions you made to Marriage Missions. I think we’ll also hug. :-) Cindy and I are praying for you guys.
Steve, Thanks for your prayers! In the midst of deep struggles in life, you reach a point where your very life on this earth can be riding upon the prayers of others. So… thank you!
I also look forward to meeting you and Cindy in Heaven, and yes… I’m sure we will all hug… :>) There are many others who I look forward to meeting there also… some who I’ve known and some who I have never met. And I’m sure that there will be many there who are there because the Lord used your ministry to reach them. It will be a grand reunion for all of the children of God… perfect Shalom for all of eternity! Many blessings to both of you, my wonderful friends following Jesus!