It’s only natural for abuse victim to look for some type of help and maybe find a way of escape. If you find yourself in that place, please work on Developing a Safety Plan first. (The above link will help you to put together a plan.)
Fortunately, the Internet contains many helpful web sites and articles that can also help in this mission. But we need to put out the warning that it can also cause more problems for the abuse victim if she/he isn’t as careful as she/he needs to be. Finding safety on the Internet is important.
Beware Abuse Victims: Your abuser may be spying on you
One of the problems a victim can encounter is that the abuser might have access to discovering or maybe even spying on what is being viewed on their computer. Isolating their victim is one of the many tools they use to keep their abuse from being exposed. It is also another way in which they can keep control of the situation. That is why it is important for the victim to find help in ways that doesn’t alert their abuser.
If you are being abused, you could endanger yourself all the more if you don’t take important precautions when you use the Internet to find help.
For this reason, you will find below information and links to articles giving you helpful information to better protect yourself.
Tips for Abuse Victims:
First, from the former web site, Stopfamilyviolence.org, here are a few tips they had posted, which you may find insightful:
• Computers record everything you do. It is IMPOSSIBLE to clear your tracks completely. Your computer stores hundreds of bits of information about everything you do with your computer, including information about which websites you’ve visited, your passwords, and what your emails say. Your abuser can readily track the websites you visit or read your email messages.
• If you suspect your activities are being monitored, they probably are. Abusive people are often controlling and want to know your every move. You don’t need to be a computer programmer or have special skills to monitor someone’s computer activities. Anyone can do it and there are many ways to monitor your activities —even without having direct access to your computer.
• Additionally, please know that email is not a safe or confidential way to communicate. Sending email is like sending a postcard through the mail. Anyone along the path can read what it says. If you need to talk to someone about the danger or abuse in your life, if possible, please call a hotline instead.
Additional Tips for Abuse Victims:
• If you must use email to discuss your situation we suggest you use an account that your abuser doesn’t know about. Set up a new account with a free email service like hotmail, yahoo, or gmail. DO NOT use a name or password that contains any identifying information. (Make sure there are no names, nicknames, initials, birth dates, zip codes, etc.) Instead use a name and password that contains a random mix of letters, CAPITAL letters and numbers (for example, HJ3v67Tn).
Make sure you can remember the user name and password! If you must write it down somewhere, put it in a place your abuser is unlikely to find it. And if the computer asks if you would like it to save your password or login information tell it NO.
• If you must use a computer that your abuser knows about, we suggest “safer” Internet surfing. For example, if you are planning to flee to California, don’t look just at California web pages for jobs, apartments, bus tickets, etc. Look for the same information in at least a half dozen other states too.
Safety on the Internet for those in abusive situations
Furthermore, this web site link directs you to an article to help you to erase your Internet tracks. This info is helpful for both wife and husband abuse victims (because there are many men who find themselves in this place):
• SAFETY WHILE USING THE INTERNET
And then to further protect abuse victims, the following information can be used to help you in your situation. We want to warn you though to “guard your heart” as the Bible tells us to do. You are very vulnerable to wanting to find love in any place that is possible. You may not even be intentionally hunting for this love. But because of the abusive behavior you have experienced, your heart is vulnerable to accept that, which you might not otherwise consider if your situation were different.
Please know that what your spouse is doing, is absolutely wrong. But also know that it does not excuse you in seeking or accepting affirmation in any way which is wrong. Guard your life, guard your heart, and guard your soul from the temptations the enemy of our faith flings your way. Please don’t complicate your heart and your life any further. Seek God’s love, not wrong love.
Protect yourself from computer control
Lastly, please use the information we link to below to even more specifically protect yourself from abusive control of your computer:
• HOW TO CLEAR YOUR WEB HISTORY IN ANY BROWSER
Please “Join the Discussion” by adding your marriage tips, comments, and prayer requests below.
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions wrote this article.
Filed under: Abuse in Marriage
Internet abuse really has several forms and today it is a big problem. I’ll take an example of forums. There is an Australian man, who has joined in many different computer technology related websites or forums. He behaves as he is a professional, and indeed he seems to know a lot about the subjects he’s talking about. But whenever he sees a counter argument, differentiation opinion from his own, or has another reason, he begins to talk very arrogantly. Sometimes it is just sarcasm, but usually it is not enough for him. He may begin to talk to other people as they have failed and even try to snub them. Sometimes he may claim that his victims are stupid, idiots, etc. He does not respect other people’s opinions either.
In one forum, where he was registered, moderators did not usually care about his actions. Once he had so bad of a flaming streak, and beign a member for years, he was finally banned. But that was not the end of the story. He was silent for about two years and registered to the forums again with a similar user name. Moderators just did not care and he is again insulting other people in the same forums. Like I said, this person has registered to multiple forums and has similar actions everywhere he goes, all the moderators just do not care.
We really need to find out the ways of how to keep discussions clean and civil. Saddest fact is that some people have even killed themselves after beign abused in the Net.
We whole-heartedly agree and do what we can to stop abusive banter. Thanks for sharing what you did. Many people forget that they aren’t an island onto themselves. We need to be aware of our words and actions, even on the Internet. What we say can cause profound ripple effects, not only in our own lives, but in the lives of those who are observing and quietly taking it in. That’s one of the reasons why we post the following rules: Please observe the following guidelines:
No name-calling, crude or profane language.
No hurtful comments targeted at belittling others.
Be mindful that this is an international ministry where cultural differences need to be taken into consideration.
Please honor the fact this is a Christ-centered web site.
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