The following are scriptures and quotes we believe you’ll find helpful for living biblically in your marriage. We pray they will minister to your heart and inspire how you interact in your marriage.
Please Prayerfully Read:
• “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” (1 John 4:7-8)
• Love flows through a marriage that lives up to mutual responsibility. “Love is not self seeking; it’s not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong.” (1 Corinthians 13:5 )
• Foundation Verse for Marriage: “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” (Hebrews 10:24) Ask yourself: “How can I encourage him or her?”
• A true demonstration of love: “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for each other.” (1 John 3:16)
• It says in 1 Corinthians 13:7 that love “always protects.” That doesn’t mean love enables, covers over, or makes secret those things that should be brought to the light. But it is being prayerfully careful of when, where, and with whom we share personal details of our married life. To truly love our spouse is to show respect for their feelings. It is not about doing or saying anything that “cuts them down.” By doing so, we show that we don’t value them.
It also tells us in 1 Corinthians 13, “Love is kind.” It “is not self-seeking.” So by embarrassing our spouse, we dishonor not only him or her, but we also dishonor God’s Word. Even if our spouse dishonors us, we aren’t given the permission to retaliate in return. (Cindy Wright)
Additional Scriptures:
• In reading Luke 19:41-44, these verses can also apply to the enormous sadness Christ must feel as He sees “war” rage within marriages. It says, “As Jesus approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it and said, ‘If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace —but it’s hidden from your eyes. The days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment against you and encircle you and hem you in on every side. They will dash you to the ground, you and the children within your walls. They will not leave one stone on another, because you didn’t recognize the time of God’s coming to you.'”
The “enemies” that are described within these verses can be compared to the things we allow to come between us as a couple so we’re no longer living in loving covenant with our spouses. Not only will we be brought down —but also, and most tragically —so will our children.
As Oswald Chambers said, “If I allow any turning away from God in my private life, everyone around me suffers.” All of this is because we don’t recognize Christ’s redemptive ministry. It’s open to all that embrace Him as Savior, AND as Lord, as the foundation upon which our marriages must be built and maintained. It’s enough to make all of heaven weep! (Cindy Wright)
Keep in Mind:
• The apostle Paul said, “In all things, I have learned to be content.” That same statement can be applied to marriage. In 1 Corinthians, we see how Paul addressed many difficult relationship questions. The over-all answer that he seems to give is to “Be content in the situation where God has placed you. If you’re married, don’t seek to be single. If you’re single, don’t seek to be married.
Live God’s way, one day at a time, and he will show you what to do. Both marriage and singleness are gifts from God. One isn’t morally better than the other, and both are valuable to accomplishing God’s purposes. It’s important for us, therefore, to accept our present situation.” (Explanation from “The New Life Application Bible” of 1 Corinthians 7:3-11)
• Don’t isolate yourself, “Let us encourage one another —and all the more as you see the day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:25)
• Apply Hebrews 10:24 that says, “As far as it be within you be at peace with all men.”
• Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21)
Keep in Mind:
• As you weather those marital storms, that we’re warned in 1 Corinthians 7:27-28, that “those who marry will face many troubles in this life.”
• In Ephesians 4:15 Paul challenged Christians to live a life of “speaking the truth in love.” Our tendency is to do well on 50% of that verse. Some of us have mastered “speaking the truth.” We’re quick to point out anything that we see or perceive in our spouse and are willing to use any method (attacking, judging, etc.) to drive the point home. Others of us are stuck at the “in love” part of confrontation. We’ve come to believe in complete acceptance and tolerance of any behavior.
Often we become paralyzed with a fear of hurting someone’s feelings and withdraw into passivity and silence. Speaking the truth in love combines both of these concepts to allow us to confront sinful behavior without compromise, yet with absolute care and respect for the individual, saying things in a way that the person can accept. When a couple takes the stance of living out Paul’s challenge of “speaking the truth in love” to each other, the old models of judging and passivity must disappear. (Jeff and Lora Helton)
Please Know:
• The principles for living written in the Bible are the principles for loving in our marriages. (Cindy Wright)
• Be a difference maker. Give to your spouse, the grace that you would want from him and that you want the Lord to give you. Keep in mind these words, “He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” (Micah 6:8)
Pay head to the words written in Isaiah 1:17, “Stop doing wrong, learn to do right!” 1 John 3:16 says, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.”
• Guard yourself in your spirit, and don’t break faith. (Malachi 2:16)
Mutual Commitment of Submission Among Equals
• Prayerfully read the following based on 1 Corinthians 11:3: “I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” The commentary for the New Life Application Bible states: “Submission is a key element in the smooth functioning of any business, government, or family. God ordained submission in certain relationships to prevent chaos. It’s essential to understand that submission is not surrender, withdrawal, or apathy. It doesn’t mean inferiority, because God created all people in his image and because all have equal value. Submission is mutual commitment and cooperation.
“Thus God calls for submission among equals. He didn’t make the man superior. He made a way for the man and woman to work together. Jesus Christ, although equal with God the Father, submitted to him to carry out the plan for salvation. Likewise, although equal to man under God, the wife should submit to her husband for the sake of their marriage and family. Submission between equals is submission by choice, not by force. We serve God in these relationships by willingly submitting to others in our church, to our spouses, and to our government leaders.”
In Relationship:
• We are told in Ephesians 5:25-33: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any blemish, but holy and blameless.
“In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church —for we are members of His body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery —but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
The commentary for the New Life Application Bible explains these scriptures in Ephesians 5:25-33: “Paul devotes twice as many words to telling husbands to love their wives as to telling wives to submit to their husbands. How should a man love his wife? (1) He should be willing to sacrifice everything for her. (2) He should make her well-being of primary importance. (3) He should care for her as he cares for his own body. No wife needs to fear submitting to a man who treats her in this way.
To Go With This, Prayerfully Consider:
“The union of husband and wife merges two persons in such a way that little can affect one without also affecting the other. Oneness in marriage doesn’t mean losing your personality in the personality of the other. Instead, it means caring for your spouse as you care for yourself, learning to anticipate his or her needs, helping the other person become all he or she can be. The creation story tells of God’s plan that husband and wife should be one (Genesis 2:24), and Jesus also referred to this plan. (Matthew 19:4-6) (Commentary explanation for Ephesians 5:31-33)
• A very important principle for men to take to heart: “Speaking the truth in love we will in all things grow up into Him who is the head, that is, Christ. From Him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work” (Ephesians 4:15-16)
Coping Situations
• When you’re living in a “coping situation” in your marriage, you need to make sure that you put activities and “helps” into your life that will enable you to build up your energy back up. Living in a “coping situation” can drastically drain you emotionally, physically and spiritually. Therefore, if you deplete your reserve energy without restoring at least part of it back from time to time, you’ll find yourself in a crisis situation eventually.
The Bible tells us that we can “do all things through Him who strengthens us” (Philippians 4:13). But we have to make sure that we don’t neglect to plug into the source of energy so we can do all things.
• Let me ask you, “Are you prayerfully and carefully treating your spouse with the love, honor and respect that God would have you? Are you showing the love of Christ to your spouse?” If not, you may want to pray Psalm 51 with a sincere heart and ask the Lord to show you how to love, honor, and cherish your spouse as you promised in your wedding vows.
• “Fight truth decay —study the Bible daily.”
NEW TESTAMENT MANDATE
This is a review of some of the “one another” verses:
• Be devoted and give preference to one another. (Romans 12:10)
• Accept one another. (Romans 15:7)
• Care for one another. (1 Corinthians 12:25)
• Carry each other’s burdens. (Galatians 6:2)
• Forgive one another. (Ephesians 4:32)
• Encourage, build up one another. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
• Spur one another on to love and good deeds. (Hebrews 10:24)
• Confess your sins to one another. (James 5:16)
• Pray for one another. (James 5:16)
In Life and Marriage, Remember:
• We’re Christ’s representatives. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God’s work of making things right between them.” (2 Corinthians 5:20 -The Message)
• Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that. (Ephesians 5:1-2, The Message)
Be on the Alert:
• Beware of these statements, “He is” -or- “she is” -or- “I am” a private person.” PRIVACY CAN EASILY LEAD TO BEHAVIOR THAT GIVES INTO DARKNESS. (See: Proverbs 4:19; 2 Samuel 22:29; Psalm 112:4; Matthew 6:23; and Luke 11:34-36. Also read: John 3:19-21; Romans 1:21; 2 Corinthians 4:6; 2 Corinthians 6:14; Ephesians 4:17-18 and Ephesians 5:8-14. In addition, read: 1 Peter 2:9; 1 John 1:5-7; 1 John 2:9-11). Privacy can easily lead into secrecy. And secrecy leads to all kinds of trouble because it’s not exposed to “the light.”
When we give the vow to enter into a marital relationship, we give up the right to secrecy. There is a difference between privacy and secrecy. (To better understand the difference please read the article, Privacy Vs Secrecy in Marriage.) Be careful of the statement, “what they don’t know won’t hurt them” because often it will.
In Marriage:
• God wants to take the “two of us and make us one.” The enemy of our faith wants to take the “oneness of us” and make us into two. The goal is to lead us to the place of “creeping separateness.”
“The killer of love is creeping separateness. It’s taking love for granted, especially after marriage. It’s ceasing to do things together —finding separate interests. Additionally, it’s ‘we’ turning into ‘I.’ …The failure of love might seem to be caused by hate or boredom or unfaithfulness with a lover. But those were results. First came the creeping separateness: the failure behind the failure.” (Sheldon Vanauken)
• As you read Matthew 5:31-32 you can see that “Jesus is trying to move us from easy divorce to a deeper commitment to marriage.” (Dr. Roger Barrier)
The Influence of Others
• Make it a priority to be involved with other couples on a regular basis, in order to support and be accountable to one another in your marriage relationships. Church small groups and Sunday schools are ideal. Hebrews 10:24-25 says, “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another and all the more as you see the day approaching.” (Alistair Begg)
• The surprising result of being honest about your fears and insecurities is that people may actually be more drawn to you (Dr. Todd Linaman) “The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way, but the folly of fools is deceit.” (Proverbs 14:8)
• The enemy of our faith tries to divide us because he knows that “united we stand, divided we fall.” He fans the flames of rivalry and pride. How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!” (Psalm 133:1)
• What are you feeding in your marriage? Do you spend your time focusing on the negative or on the positive aspects of your spouse? The Bible tells us in Philippians 4:8-9: “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable —if anything is excellent or praiseworthy —think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me —put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”
Unity in Marriage
• Prayer for marriages: “May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.”(John 17:23) This is also an example of how God wants us to function. God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit are separate individuals within the Godhead, yet they are one in purpose. In marriage the husband and wife are different individuals and yet they are to be one in purpose. (Cindy Wright)
• Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes (author unknown). “A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back.” (Proverbs 29:11)
• Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. (Romans 14:19)
• The lips of the righteous knows what is fitting, but the mouth of the wicked only what is perverse. (Proverbs 10:32)
• An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips. (Proverbs 24:26)
• Jesus said, “I came that they might have life and have it to the full.” (John 10:10) When applying this message to marriage, it’s not that those who don’t have a personal relationship with Christ can’t have a good marriage. They can. We’ve seen this to be true. But to have a full, rich, abundant married life together, Christ is the key. Marriage is all about the love of God displayed through ordinary people. (Cindy Wright)
Listen and Be Wise
• “There are two hindrances to good communication that must be overcome. There’s the bad habit of lazy listening and hasty speaking.” (John Lavendar) (Goes with James 1:19)
• Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance. (Proverbs 1:5)
• The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice. (Proverbs 12:15)
• The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly. (Proverbs 15:14)
• He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise. (Proverbs 15:31)
• He who answers before listening —that is his folly and his shame. (Proverbs 18:13)
• The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge; the ears of the wise seek it out. (Proverbs 18:15)
• Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise. (Proverbs 19:20)
• Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge. (Proverbs 23:12)
• Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. (James 1:19)
Be Aware of What You Say and How You Say It
• A quiet and gentle spirit disarms men. (Dr Charles Swindoll) This is in reference to the scripture that says, “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. It should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” (1 Peter 3:1-2 and 1 Peter 3:4)
• Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t say it mean. “Speaking the truth in love, may [we] grow up in all things into Him who is the head —CHRIST.” (Ephesians 4:15)
• A wise man’s heart guides his mouth, and his lips promote instruction. (Proverbs 16:23)
• The lips of the righteous know what is fitting, but the mouth of the wicked only what is perverse. (Proverbs 10:29)
• Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Proverbs 12:18)
• A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. (Proverbs 17:27)
• A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions. (Proverbs 18:2)
• Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Philippians 4:29)
Make Sure You:
• Put away perversity from your mouth keep corrupt talk far from your lips. (Proverbs 4:24)
• He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin. (Proverbs 13:3)
• My mouth speaks what is true, for my lips detest wickedness. All of the words of my mouth are just; none of them is crooked or perverse. (Proverbs 8:7-8)
• The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Proverbs 18:21)
• A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. (Proverbs 29:11)
• Love is not rude; it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, and keeps no record of wrongs. (1 Corinthians 13:5)
Biting Anger
• If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. (Galatians 5:15)
• In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. (1 Peter 2:11)
• Remind the people to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men. (Titus 3:2)
• Think of your marriage as sacred ground. It’s a union God has sanctioned, not just because you were determined to come together but also for God’s purpose. “So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” (Matthew 19:6)
• Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so? (Amos 3:3)
• The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 5:2, “Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few.”
As God Commands:
• Serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Galatians 5:13-14)
• Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others. (1 Corinthians 10:24)
• Everything is permissible —but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible —but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others. (1 Corinthians 10:23-24)
• Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. (Galatians 6:9-10)
• But wisdom is proved right by her actions. (Matthew 11:19)
• But I tell you that men will have to give account on the Day of Judgment, for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned. (Matthew 12:37)
• My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this —that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. (John 15:12-14)
• Love is both an intention and an action. “Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” (1 John 3:18)
If you have additional scriptures and/or tips to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
Filed under: Spiritual Matters
(USA) Dear brothers and sisters in Christ. I write these comments with a weary heart. On July 1 my wife Heather and I will have been married 4 years. Prior to this we had been dating for about 3 years. She cheated on me while we were dating and I forgave her. Two years later we were wed. I have not been the supporting loving husband I should have been. I have said many cruel and hurtful things. We always said divorce is not an option.
But in the last year my wife has lost weight and read a self help book by comedian Steve Harvey entitled “How to think like a man and act like a lady”. Since this I noticed a change in her. She has returned to her old self and away from God. Meanwhile all of my mistakes have been made known to me. And I caught her having inappropriate contact with other men. She has many secrets and is drawn out to the bars on the weekends.
I realize my mistakes and repent for them on a daily basis. I am seeking God every minute of every day. The outlook seems bleak but still I believe in Gods power. God has drawn me closer to him. We have two children one 19 months and the other 9 years ( i have raised him since a toddler) We have it all except unity. I am choosing not to follow her to the bars. She says I have been controlling. I have been very wrong.
I am making a stand for my family for as long as I am married. She told me she doesn’t want me and that she no longer is in love with me. But I will not believe it for I know God has a plan. I need your prayers. I believe God can make a way when there is no way. My pastor and other Godly men tell me there is hope and to continue to work on it. Please pray for conviction, healing, forgiveness, and strength.
(USA) My husband of 21 years sent me divorce papers dated April 19–the week after what I thought was a great and hopeful Easter with both sides of our family.
Through the mid 90’s I had struggled with depression, which began shortly after our first child (of 3) was born. It was difficult for everyone. Through the grace of God I have overcome, yet my husband cannot get past the years of my depression and how they affected him and our children. But even our children have been much happier and encouraged in the face of my recovery, and when my husband left to live somewhere else, it made no sense to any of us.
I have found this and another site to encourage me in my efforts as a stander, and am reading the Psalms every day. Our oldest son (almost 21 now) prays every night with me and goes to mass with me as often as we can. We pray to discern and to follow God’s will, and He has laid upon my heart that I must honor and uphold our marriage covenant.
My husband has been involved in Christian music ministry with several friends, and he has all but stopped playing for these ministries. I started attending the services where he played with him, and told him how proud I was of what he was doing for the Lord. Please pray for us and for our restoration. Praise God!
(USA) Good Evening to all; I stumbled upon this site and immediately found solace and comfort. I’m currently going through some troubled times within my marriage. I can’t speak for my wife but I’ve been 100% faithful and I sincerely believe she has too. After a lot of soul searching; I think we’ve fallen victim to allowing self interest place a wedge between us. My wife says she wants a divorce and is not up to discussing matters with me. We have been together 14 years and have 2 small children. I desperately want to save our marriage, but I’m lost as to what to do if she refuses to talk to me.
Please somebody pray for us both, as well our children.
(S.AFRICA) Dear Walter, Oh how I feel for you. My husband has left home and is currently working on an overseas contract which he never even discussed with me. He is asking for a divorce and wants to marry a women he met on the internet. He has cut all contact with me. I know how hard it is to deal with problems when your spouse refuses to talk to you – it is soul destroying. I pray everyday that we could at least talk face to face, it is so frustrating. Please do not give up. Pray and ask Gods help while you still have the chance. Do not let her go. You have to continue in kindness to resolve your problems. I will remember you and your family in my prayers.
(USA) Hello to all. This is a great site. I am enjoying it very much. I stumbled upon it trying to find a scripture for our 25th Wedding Ceremony. My husband and I have had a really rough 25 years. He does not serve the Lord and really has no desire to serve as he should. He says the Big Guy (God) knows all about him.
I can truly say that I do not love him as a wife should and I pray for God to give me that love for him but I have been struggling with it because in my eyes he has been unfaithful to me. By that I mean pornography on television and internet.
We have 4 children who have seen him in his viewing of this. When they were small they didn’t know what was really going on and now that they are adults except the youngest (9) they now know how disrespectful he has been to me.
We have not been intimate for 9 years. I have no desire to be with him. We still share the same bed but sleep totally separate. Depending on when he goes to bed I will go before or after him so we don’t have to speak to one another. I wanted to do this 25th Wedding Ceremony to get God’s Spiritual covering on our marriage and children. Please pray for us.
(BOLIVIA) I was studying and doing some research for a Bible study class I am speaking at next week. My intention was to gather scriptures that would minister to people on love and relationships, but ended up being ministered too. These scriptures are now a part of my daily confession to improve my life and marriage. Thanks for taking the time to research and share :)
(UNITED STATES) I’ve been married 14 yrs. My wife left me and four children 6 months ago for another man. It has been tough. I have forgiven her for the affair. Actually, I forgave her the minute she confessed to it but she was determined to leave. My faith in GOD and his word has gotten me through the past several months along with web sites like this one. I thank you so much for the encouraging word. Please pray for healing in my marriage. I love my wife more than she could ever know!!
(USA) The word of God is powerful and sharper than a two edged sword. The truth should be told in the church and allow people to know the truth so that they can receive from the almighty God. Divorcing, lies, drunkness, and smoking either cigarrettes or otherwise should not be found among the children of God. The church should serve as a mirror to outside world.
(BAHAMAS) My spouse is very focused lately on his hobby – playing pool. He comes in late at night and spends the quality time when he is home watching movies on professional pool and shows. He is snapping at me on mornings to work. I feel that he is tired from staying up late and still having his two jobs and a full time family.
He seems to feel he has everything under control but his insensitive comments and insults make me angry and we have gotten into it lately, more than normal. I PRAY CONSTANTLY. I HAVE BEEN WALKING IN LOVE BUT THERE SEEMS TO BE LITTLE RESPECT FOR MY FEELINGS AT TIMES. He always apologizes after the damage is done but how can he stop it altogether… Desperately praying for a change in a young marriage…
(USA) ALL I CAN SAY IS “THANK YOU”, I WAS SERIOUSLY HAVING A BAD TIME WITH MYSELF ABOUT AN ARGUMENT BETWEEN MY HUSBAND AND I. ALL DAY I HAVE BEEN BUSY @ WORK (but unable to focus); I went through several mood changes. He sent me a text telling me that “I don’t have to be with him to make up for our past rocky relationship, that if I wasn’t happy to just say so and he would walk away. That he’s not trying to hurt me nor does he want to”… And for the “life” of me, I was trying to find the scripture about people walking out of your life… and I came across this site instead. GOD IS INDEED GOOD!
(US) At the present time (and almost always), I am ANGRY at my husband. I am tired of always feeling this way. At times, I even hate him. My husband works 24/7 and has NEVER made time for our family. I have had to raise my two sons, 20 and 21, and my 10-year old daughter alone. He missed 90% of any activities they had going – including vacations. I DO EVERYTHING FOR THEM AND TAKE THEM EVERYWHERE!! He is always to busy with work to do or go anywhere. His excuse is that he must provide for the family. He is self-employed and I have told him many times to go and work for someone so that he is not so overwhelmed with the business. He will not hear of this.
He claims that he will never make the money he makes now if he works for someone else. I let him know that he probably can, since we will not have all the overhead expenses we have now. I worked as a teacher, but decided to quit to help take of my mom – who is not in the best of health, and so that I can be here for my kids. They have never really had any quidance from my husband and so I must do this.
One problem is that when my sons turned 16, my husband told me that I should stop treating them like babies. They were now old enough to know the difference between right and wrong. When I tried to correct them when they were out of line, he would intercede and tell me to leave them alone and to quit nagging them. He said they will grow up hating me the way he hated his mother because I am always correcting them. They soon learned who they wanted to listen to. This behavior has continued and my sons have gotten into some trouble, but our attorney has always managed to save them. When I blame my husband, he tells me that they need to learn on their own and that one of these days he will not be able to help them and they each will learn their lesson. WHAT KIND OF FATHER WOULD SAY SUCH A THING??? I told him this is what we are here for. To teach them the difference.
My husband grew up with a hard-core father and his mother was always nagging (I do not have a relationship with his family because they have done some dirty deeds to my husband. Of course, he cannot be mad at them because he feels they would dis-own him as a son. By the way, my children are aware of this). My husband also does not mind arguing with me in front of the kids. When I tell him we will discuss it when they are not around, he will follow me throughout the house until HE is finished. My kids lock themselves in the room and my daughter cries. This has been going on for quite awhile. I HATE HIM!!!
My son is also in a relationship that is not healthy. He is always arguing with his girlfriend. He said he learned this from my husband and I, and this is all he has ever known. I feel so sad about this. My older son is very moody also. He is just like my husband. He can be very rude to me at times, but will then be very nice. Deep down, he knows that I am the one he can count on.
I believe the only reason they have a relationship with my husband is on the days they are off from college, he pays them for the few hours they work with him. (I have paid for ALL their college expenses from my check when I was working and continue to do so from what I have saved).
I have thought about leaving many times, but did not have the courage to do so. We have been married for 28 years and he is all I have ever known. Our relationship was rocky even when we were dating. I KNOW THIS IS NOT WHAT LOVE IS!!! I am a very strong woman and I can’t believe I have stayed. I think it is because we have made several investments and HAD some money, but unfortunately my husband has used it all on the business. We are in the process of building a home and I do not know what to do about my marriage.
I need to stay so that I can recover (and will in this deal) for 3 years to get MY part of the money and start over, but I don’t know if I can endure this environment any longer. I know that if I leave my younger son will land himself in trouble because of the environment he keeps and the older one will live his life with so much anger he will dis-own our family and be lost (he has always needed me). WE have spoken to a priest and he has let my husband know what needs to change, but of course that only lasts for a few months. I am so depressed because of all of this.
I believe there is still time to save my daughter from all this grief, but I also know that she loves her dad very much and will be heartbroken if we leave – which will be to another city because he will never stop bothering me. I can go on forever with the reasons that I want out of this marriage. Can someone PLEASE HELP ME!!
(US) Thank You For The Scriptures they have been a BLESSING for me in many ways GOD BLESS THE CREATORS AND READERS.
(U.S.) This site is a blessing for marriage, and those standing for marriage. God’s words will heal and guide and make your marriage strong. http://allgodsgrace.com
(USA) Why is it that men marry but can’t seem to leave there mothers? Why do us wives have to fight for our right to love our husbands? Why can’t these mother in-laws just know that love and God are what make a relationship work not what they think or say behind your back? No matter what wives do to please the husband’s side of the family they never really take you in and love you.
Lord, help all those mother in-laws that hurt their sons more because they cause hurt in a marriage because they are selfish.
(INDIA) I’m going to marry and she is also the believer, what relation should be we maintain?