The following are scriptures and quotes we believe you’ll find helpful for living biblically in your marriage. We pray they will minister to your heart and inspire how you interact in your marriage.
Please Prayerfully Read:
• “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” (1 John 4:7-8)
• Love flows through a marriage that lives up to mutual responsibility. “Love is not self seeking; it’s not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong.” (1 Corinthians 13:5 )
• Foundation Verse for Marriage: “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” (Hebrews 10:24) Ask yourself: “How can I encourage him or her?”
• A true demonstration of love: “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for each other.” (1 John 3:16)
• It says in 1 Corinthians 13:7 that love “always protects.” That doesn’t mean love enables, covers over, or makes secret those things that should be brought to the light. But it is being prayerfully careful of when, where, and with whom we share personal details of our married life. To truly love our spouse is to show respect for their feelings. It is not about doing or saying anything that “cuts them down.” By doing so, we show that we don’t value them.
It also tells us in 1 Corinthians 13, “Love is kind.” It “is not self-seeking.” So by embarrassing our spouse, we dishonor not only him or her, but we also dishonor God’s Word. Even if our spouse dishonors us, we aren’t given the permission to retaliate in return. (Cindy Wright)
Additional Scriptures:
• In reading Luke 19:41-44, these verses can also apply to the enormous sadness Christ must feel as He sees “war” rage within marriages. It says, “As Jesus approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it and said, ‘If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace —but it’s hidden from your eyes. The days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment against you and encircle you and hem you in on every side. They will dash you to the ground, you and the children within your walls. They will not leave one stone on another, because you didn’t recognize the time of God’s coming to you.'”
The “enemies” that are described within these verses can be compared to the things we allow to come between us as a couple so we’re no longer living in loving covenant with our spouses. Not only will we be brought down —but also, and most tragically —so will our children.
As Oswald Chambers said, “If I allow any turning away from God in my private life, everyone around me suffers.” All of this is because we don’t recognize Christ’s redemptive ministry. It’s open to all that embrace Him as Savior, AND as Lord, as the foundation upon which our marriages must be built and maintained. It’s enough to make all of heaven weep! (Cindy Wright)
Keep in Mind:
• The apostle Paul said, “In all things, I have learned to be content.” That same statement can be applied to marriage. In 1 Corinthians, we see how Paul addressed many difficult relationship questions. The over-all answer that he seems to give is to “Be content in the situation where God has placed you. If you’re married, don’t seek to be single. If you’re single, don’t seek to be married.
Live God’s way, one day at a time, and he will show you what to do. Both marriage and singleness are gifts from God. One isn’t morally better than the other, and both are valuable to accomplishing God’s purposes. It’s important for us, therefore, to accept our present situation.” (Explanation from “The New Life Application Bible” of 1 Corinthians 7:3-11)
• Don’t isolate yourself, “Let us encourage one another —and all the more as you see the day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:25)
• Apply Hebrews 10:24 that says, “As far as it be within you be at peace with all men.”
• Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21)
Keep in Mind:
• As you weather those marital storms, that we’re warned in 1 Corinthians 7:27-28, that “those who marry will face many troubles in this life.”
• In Ephesians 4:15 Paul challenged Christians to live a life of “speaking the truth in love.” Our tendency is to do well on 50% of that verse. Some of us have mastered “speaking the truth.” We’re quick to point out anything that we see or perceive in our spouse and are willing to use any method (attacking, judging, etc.) to drive the point home. Others of us are stuck at the “in love” part of confrontation. We’ve come to believe in complete acceptance and tolerance of any behavior.
Often we become paralyzed with a fear of hurting someone’s feelings and withdraw into passivity and silence. Speaking the truth in love combines both of these concepts to allow us to confront sinful behavior without compromise, yet with absolute care and respect for the individual, saying things in a way that the person can accept. When a couple takes the stance of living out Paul’s challenge of “speaking the truth in love” to each other, the old models of judging and passivity must disappear. (Jeff and Lora Helton)
Please Know:
• The principles for living written in the Bible are the principles for loving in our marriages. (Cindy Wright)
• Be a difference maker. Give to your spouse, the grace that you would want from him and that you want the Lord to give you. Keep in mind these words, “He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” (Micah 6:8)
Pay head to the words written in Isaiah 1:17, “Stop doing wrong, learn to do right!” 1 John 3:16 says, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.”
• Guard yourself in your spirit, and don’t break faith. (Malachi 2:16)
Mutual Commitment of Submission Among Equals
• Prayerfully read the following based on 1 Corinthians 11:3: “I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” The commentary for the New Life Application Bible states: “Submission is a key element in the smooth functioning of any business, government, or family. God ordained submission in certain relationships to prevent chaos. It’s essential to understand that submission is not surrender, withdrawal, or apathy. It doesn’t mean inferiority, because God created all people in his image and because all have equal value. Submission is mutual commitment and cooperation.
“Thus God calls for submission among equals. He didn’t make the man superior. He made a way for the man and woman to work together. Jesus Christ, although equal with God the Father, submitted to him to carry out the plan for salvation. Likewise, although equal to man under God, the wife should submit to her husband for the sake of their marriage and family. Submission between equals is submission by choice, not by force. We serve God in these relationships by willingly submitting to others in our church, to our spouses, and to our government leaders.”
In Relationship:
• We are told in Ephesians 5:25-33: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any blemish, but holy and blameless.
“In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church —for we are members of His body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery —but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
The commentary for the New Life Application Bible explains these scriptures in Ephesians 5:25-33: “Paul devotes twice as many words to telling husbands to love their wives as to telling wives to submit to their husbands. How should a man love his wife? (1) He should be willing to sacrifice everything for her. (2) He should make her well-being of primary importance. (3) He should care for her as he cares for his own body. No wife needs to fear submitting to a man who treats her in this way.
To Go With This, Prayerfully Consider:
“The union of husband and wife merges two persons in such a way that little can affect one without also affecting the other. Oneness in marriage doesn’t mean losing your personality in the personality of the other. Instead, it means caring for your spouse as you care for yourself, learning to anticipate his or her needs, helping the other person become all he or she can be. The creation story tells of God’s plan that husband and wife should be one (Genesis 2:24), and Jesus also referred to this plan. (Matthew 19:4-6) (Commentary explanation for Ephesians 5:31-33)
• A very important principle for men to take to heart: “Speaking the truth in love we will in all things grow up into Him who is the head, that is, Christ. From Him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work” (Ephesians 4:15-16)
Coping Situations
• When you’re living in a “coping situation” in your marriage, you need to make sure that you put activities and “helps” into your life that will enable you to build up your energy back up. Living in a “coping situation” can drastically drain you emotionally, physically and spiritually. Therefore, if you deplete your reserve energy without restoring at least part of it back from time to time, you’ll find yourself in a crisis situation eventually.
The Bible tells us that we can “do all things through Him who strengthens us” (Philippians 4:13). But we have to make sure that we don’t neglect to plug into the source of energy so we can do all things.
• Let me ask you, “Are you prayerfully and carefully treating your spouse with the love, honor and respect that God would have you? Are you showing the love of Christ to your spouse?” If not, you may want to pray Psalm 51 with a sincere heart and ask the Lord to show you how to love, honor, and cherish your spouse as you promised in your wedding vows.
• “Fight truth decay —study the Bible daily.”
NEW TESTAMENT MANDATE
This is a review of some of the “one another” verses:
• Be devoted and give preference to one another. (Romans 12:10)
• Accept one another. (Romans 15:7)
• Care for one another. (1 Corinthians 12:25)
• Carry each other’s burdens. (Galatians 6:2)
• Forgive one another. (Ephesians 4:32)
• Encourage, build up one another. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
• Spur one another on to love and good deeds. (Hebrews 10:24)
• Confess your sins to one another. (James 5:16)
• Pray for one another. (James 5:16)
In Life and Marriage, Remember:
• We’re Christ’s representatives. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God’s work of making things right between them.” (2 Corinthians 5:20 -The Message)
• Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that. (Ephesians 5:1-2, The Message)
Be on the Alert:
• Beware of these statements, “He is” -or- “she is” -or- “I am” a private person.” PRIVACY CAN EASILY LEAD TO BEHAVIOR THAT GIVES INTO DARKNESS. (See: Proverbs 4:19; 2 Samuel 22:29; Psalm 112:4; Matthew 6:23; and Luke 11:34-36. Also read: John 3:19-21; Romans 1:21; 2 Corinthians 4:6; 2 Corinthians 6:14; Ephesians 4:17-18 and Ephesians 5:8-14. In addition, read: 1 Peter 2:9; 1 John 1:5-7; 1 John 2:9-11). Privacy can easily lead into secrecy. And secrecy leads to all kinds of trouble because it’s not exposed to “the light.”
When we give the vow to enter into a marital relationship, we give up the right to secrecy. There is a difference between privacy and secrecy. (To better understand the difference please read the article, Privacy Vs Secrecy in Marriage.) Be careful of the statement, “what they don’t know won’t hurt them” because often it will.
In Marriage:
• God wants to take the “two of us and make us one.” The enemy of our faith wants to take the “oneness of us” and make us into two. The goal is to lead us to the place of “creeping separateness.”
“The killer of love is creeping separateness. It’s taking love for granted, especially after marriage. It’s ceasing to do things together —finding separate interests. Additionally, it’s ‘we’ turning into ‘I.’ …The failure of love might seem to be caused by hate or boredom or unfaithfulness with a lover. But those were results. First came the creeping separateness: the failure behind the failure.” (Sheldon Vanauken)
• As you read Matthew 5:31-32 you can see that “Jesus is trying to move us from easy divorce to a deeper commitment to marriage.” (Dr. Roger Barrier)
The Influence of Others
• Make it a priority to be involved with other couples on a regular basis, in order to support and be accountable to one another in your marriage relationships. Church small groups and Sunday schools are ideal. Hebrews 10:24-25 says, “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another and all the more as you see the day approaching.” (Alistair Begg)
• The surprising result of being honest about your fears and insecurities is that people may actually be more drawn to you (Dr. Todd Linaman) “The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way, but the folly of fools is deceit.” (Proverbs 14:8)
• The enemy of our faith tries to divide us because he knows that “united we stand, divided we fall.” He fans the flames of rivalry and pride. How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!” (Psalm 133:1)
• What are you feeding in your marriage? Do you spend your time focusing on the negative or on the positive aspects of your spouse? The Bible tells us in Philippians 4:8-9: “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable —if anything is excellent or praiseworthy —think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me —put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”
Unity in Marriage
• Prayer for marriages: “May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.”(John 17:23) This is also an example of how God wants us to function. God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit are separate individuals within the Godhead, yet they are one in purpose. In marriage the husband and wife are different individuals and yet they are to be one in purpose. (Cindy Wright)
• Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes (author unknown). “A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back.” (Proverbs 29:11)
• Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. (Romans 14:19)
• The lips of the righteous knows what is fitting, but the mouth of the wicked only what is perverse. (Proverbs 10:32)
• An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips. (Proverbs 24:26)
• Jesus said, “I came that they might have life and have it to the full.” (John 10:10) When applying this message to marriage, it’s not that those who don’t have a personal relationship with Christ can’t have a good marriage. They can. We’ve seen this to be true. But to have a full, rich, abundant married life together, Christ is the key. Marriage is all about the love of God displayed through ordinary people. (Cindy Wright)
Listen and Be Wise
• “There are two hindrances to good communication that must be overcome. There’s the bad habit of lazy listening and hasty speaking.” (John Lavendar) (Goes with James 1:19)
• Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance. (Proverbs 1:5)
• The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice. (Proverbs 12:15)
• The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly. (Proverbs 15:14)
• He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise. (Proverbs 15:31)
• He who answers before listening —that is his folly and his shame. (Proverbs 18:13)
• The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge; the ears of the wise seek it out. (Proverbs 18:15)
• Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise. (Proverbs 19:20)
• Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge. (Proverbs 23:12)
• Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. (James 1:19)
Be Aware of What You Say and How You Say It
• A quiet and gentle spirit disarms men. (Dr Charles Swindoll) This is in reference to the scripture that says, “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. It should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” (1 Peter 3:1-2 and 1 Peter 3:4)
• Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t say it mean. “Speaking the truth in love, may [we] grow up in all things into Him who is the head —CHRIST.” (Ephesians 4:15)
• A wise man’s heart guides his mouth, and his lips promote instruction. (Proverbs 16:23)
• The lips of the righteous know what is fitting, but the mouth of the wicked only what is perverse. (Proverbs 10:29)
• Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Proverbs 12:18)
• A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. (Proverbs 17:27)
• A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions. (Proverbs 18:2)
• Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Philippians 4:29)
Make Sure You:
• Put away perversity from your mouth keep corrupt talk far from your lips. (Proverbs 4:24)
• He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin. (Proverbs 13:3)
• My mouth speaks what is true, for my lips detest wickedness. All of the words of my mouth are just; none of them is crooked or perverse. (Proverbs 8:7-8)
• The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Proverbs 18:21)
• A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. (Proverbs 29:11)
• Love is not rude; it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, and keeps no record of wrongs. (1 Corinthians 13:5)
Biting Anger
• If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. (Galatians 5:15)
• In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. (1 Peter 2:11)
• Remind the people to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men. (Titus 3:2)
• Think of your marriage as sacred ground. It’s a union God has sanctioned, not just because you were determined to come together but also for God’s purpose. “So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” (Matthew 19:6)
• Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so? (Amos 3:3)
• The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 5:2, “Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few.”
As God Commands:
• Serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Galatians 5:13-14)
• Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others. (1 Corinthians 10:24)
• Everything is permissible —but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible —but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others. (1 Corinthians 10:23-24)
• Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. (Galatians 6:9-10)
• But wisdom is proved right by her actions. (Matthew 11:19)
• But I tell you that men will have to give account on the Day of Judgment, for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned. (Matthew 12:37)
• My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this —that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. (John 15:12-14)
• Love is both an intention and an action. “Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” (1 John 3:18)
If you have additional scriptures and/or tips to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
Filed under: Spiritual Matters
(SOUTH AFRICA) Hi I love your site it makes me have hope that even in my marriage there will be joy day becoz of my God who is everything to me now. My husband seems not to be interested to have sex with me for the whole month now. He is he is treating me like his friend. I’m confused now coz I love him and I still have feelings for him. What can I do in this situation?
(SOUTH AFRICA) God will always be there for you.
(SOUTH AFRICA) I’ve read all the healing words about marriage. I’ve been thrown out of the house and I’m seven months pregnant, but thanks to the word of the Bible and advices from church, parents and family friends, I am happy.
We had 1 month and two weeks of fighting, insults, anger, lies and I ended up filling for divorce. But after a sudden change in my mind and heart I stopped the divorce and start to believe in God in forging myself and my husband. Now as I speak, me and my husband are on speaking terms with no more anger between us. I feel love and peace between us and are planning to go on a vacation before I give birth.
I am grateful to my LORD for answering my prayers. When the time is right I will move back to my house and reunite with my husband, and be one as the word of LORD says that HE has joined us to be one and no human can separate us. We will be together with unity.
I’ve written down the verses to read for him when we are on vacation. Your healing words are adding to what i believe in, on my marraige and most of all to God and HIS Son Christ!
(UNITED STATES) This is a wonderful site. But I need some guidance. My husband left on 9/18/10′ just a little over a year being released from prison, in which I stood by him the whole time. We have been married for 7 years. He has moved to another state and he says he wants a divorce. I do not want a divorce. I love this man. But I am worried that I have let my tongue get the best of me.
He said he loves me, but he wants a divoce. How can I fix what my big mouth did? Can it be fixed? I have been praying and fasting for the restoring of my marriage. I truly believe with God all things are possible. I am asking for prayers for restoriation of my marriage. I love this man. I want him to come home and get into church with me.
(USA) I was raised in church and yet found myself in the world by the age of 16. After many heartaches I would come back to church but it never seemed to stick and I just couldn’t seem to make it work. Finally after being so broken and God making a way for me to come back to him, I gave my life back to God and keep praying for God to make it different this time.
Soon after, at church one night, I went to the altar and was filled with the baptism of the Holy Ghost. It was it from that point, God changed me and my life in great ways. Well, during this time I was praying for God to send me a man to be my husband because he would know their heart in a way I never could. After praying for a good year God layed on my heart the man he wanted me to marry and I was shocked cause I knew of him but did not really know him. So I prayed and told God if it was his will he would make a way for it to happen and would bring us together some how. I did not search him out and didn’t even know if he even knew who I was.
Well, God was faithful and just three months later God made a way for us to meet up and we were together from that point on. We went to church together and tried to do all the right things but soon fell into premartial sex even though neither one of us believed in it. I prayed and prayed to be able to resist it but we kept falling back into it. We both loved each other so much by this point and were engaged to get married. I watched myself change back into the person I was before I was in church and our relationship kept getting worse and worse. I was putting my wedding plan not just before my fiance but before God has well.
We almost broke up many times. I would cry out to God to help and he would make things better but as soon as I would lose focus it would get bad again. By the grace of God we made it through our wedding day and things were good for like a week, but by this time I was not the person he fell in love with and he couldn’t understand. He thought because of others telling him that after we were married and I wasn’t stressed it would get better. But he knew what we were doing in secret before we were married and thought the change in me was just because of stress and not because I had fallen away from God, pulling my fiance with me because he was a weaker Christian than I was from the beginning.
Our marriage was very rocky but we were praying and trying to make it work. We were both being shelfish and trying to change each other. Plus, he had a four year old son and my husband was not being the father I thought he should be and I tried to change that. I would threaten to leave and would go as far as taking my ring off and driving away. Every time he would come after me and we would work through it and pray.
I thought things were getting better slowly but surely, but I saw my husband changing and his new job was keeping him from church. Just one day before we were married two months he walked out and I broke. I turned to God and he has changed me back into the woman I was when my husband and I fell in love. It brought me so close to God. I love my husband in a way I never have. This is all God and I know that. He has strengthened me in such a great way.
But my husband has been gone for almost four months now and he has seemed to pull farther and farther from God. He refuses to have anything to do with me and has had a number of girlfriends and shows no shame in it. The few times I have managed to talk to him he claimed he wanted a divorce and as soon as he had the money we would be getting one.
I have prayed and fasted for him this whole time and believe God can turn this around. He wanted us together. I’m just afraid that we made so many mistakes that it will end in divorce because my husband is so stuborn. He is in the process of trying to get the papers started and I am praying and praying he wakes up and does not go through with this. I know if he would just come home and talk to me that God would change everything. I love him so much and he knows that I have apologized and told him how sorry I am but it doesn’t faze him. I do not believe in divorce and that God hates it. I want so bad for us to have another chance at this. I need a miracle to save my marriage and change my husband’s mind from this divorce.
(UNITED KINGDOM) I thank God who has divinely directed me to this ministry. Thank all for your encouraging comments. I pray that many marriages including mine will be healed and restored through this site
(AMERICA) I truly enjoyed reading the posts. I’ve have learned that serving God is a beautiful thing! we all go through life, and have made many mistakes. We have hurt people, and people have hurt us. But there is power in having a heart that forgives. We must continue to abide in God’s holy word. With him we can overcome any hurt,pain,and discouragement!!! May God bless each one of you!
(NIGERIA) PLEASE HELP ME WITH THIS TOPIC. I INTEND TO HANDLE IT WITH CHRISTIAN LEADERS. THE MEETING IS ON 29TH OF DECEMBER 2010. I AM WAITING URGENTLY. GOD BLESS YOU. THE TOPIC IS —–HELPING HURTING PARENTS AND FAMILIES IN CRISIS.
(USA) I have faith in the Lord and I know he works all things together for my good. I am confused on what to do. My husband is a pastor in training and comes from a long line of ministers, so he knows the word. But it doesn’t stop him from treating people like he is better than everyone, including me.
I know God made women as the help mate and the weaker partner, but the Bible also says to respect and consider your wives. I submit myself as I should. I live by proverbs 31, and I hold myself below him. But I don’t understand why he puts all the problems on me. The men are the bread winners and women are the housekeepers and teachers of the youth, and plans for, as well as makes all the things for the house. The man is supposed to make the decisions, and has the final say so, and I do my best to respect that (even though I knew how a few of them would turn for the worst). But it hurts me when the decisions he makes become my fault. I need prayer, and someone to talk to and share ideas with in hopes to pull our marriage out of the gutter. Please and thank you so much. God Bless you all. -Larren
(UNITED STATES OF AMERICA) Hi there, Thanks a lot for these scriptures because I am still believing God to be married.
Thanks and God bless your ministry! Prophetess Grace
(USA) My husband of 38 years recently got involved with another woman at work I had no idea that our marriage was even in trouble. He just told me one morning tht he no longer wanted to be married. He was not in love with me anymore. I was totally devastated!!! However through much prayer and supplication and fasting, My God has turned this situation around. He has recommited to our marriage. WE are working things out with the help of God. God can and will work things to your good if you just trust in Him. He will give you peace that passeth all understanding. He is faithful to keep his word. Don’t give up on your marriage, continue to confess his word and trust in Him. He will bring it to pass.
(UNITED STATES) My husband and I have been married for 4 years. I recently found out in November 2010 that he may have a nine month old child outside of our marriage. I am truly devastated and heart broken. We have two children together. The relationship with the other woman started after I gave birth to our son in 2008. During that time my husband never acted as if anything was wrong.
Now that I’ve found out he wants to be the husband to me he should have been from the start. My family loves him and hopes we can work things out. His family doesn’t have too much to say. His mother on the other hand, says that I should let it go and deal with it. She says that I shouldn’t throw his mistake up to him whenever I get upset about it; because It’s going to ruin our marriage.
I don’t bring it up everyday but I do have questions at times. He doesn’t want to talk about it. He says he is stressed out too; because he hurt me and he brought this on our family. He says that he will do whatever it takes to keep this marriage together. And I feel that he should be more compassionate to my needs and feelings while we try to get past this issue. I truly love my husband and our family. I believe he loves me. Can anyone give me some help with my situation?
Hi Centrel, I’m so sorry to read of the painful time you’re going through in your marriage. Nothing is quite as painful as being cheated on by your spouse. You have my sympathies. As far as “help” that we can give you… the only thing we can truly offer is what we have posted on this web site in the various Topic sections. There are a lot of others that wrote articles and books that have gone through this painful experience themselves. It would be good to pray, read, and do what you can to get to a healing place — take advantage of the resources we make available and those we recommend that you believe would help you.
As you read, you will see that it is not at all unusual to have this take a long time to heal. Some marriages end up being better than they were before things got torn apart… others not so good. Every marriage is different because the dynamics vary with every individual within marriages. But yes, you have every right to ask questions that you feel are important for your healing. Just make sure you determine whether the answer to your question will help you to heal or will be one that will spark your imagination in a damaging direction. You need to be the one to make that determination. I’m glad your husband says “that he will do whatever it takes” to keep your marriage together. That’s a good start. I hope he follows through on that promise because things may drag on longer than he will want. Yet, it is YOU that needs him to help you to heal. He’s the one who decided to cheat. No matter what was going on in your relationship, it never warrants cheating.
Centrel, you have a lot to overcome… with a child being in the picture, it will be difficult to heal to the same degree that you could have otherwise. But if you lean upon the Lord and determine to get to a better place in your marriage, you can both figure out how to make this work… especially if the proper boundaries are put into place to protect your relationship from future problems in this area. The articles could help you as you work together. I pray well for you… I pray a blessing upon your life… May the Lord help you to get to a place where your tomorrows are better and brighter than today.
(GRENADA) To Centrel in the USA on 5 January 2011… GET A DNA TEST! If your husband truly wants to save your marriage, then he will do this and then you will be able to make secure, grounded and honest decisions [together] from there. And pray, girl, pray! God can and will turn this around for His good. When there is nothing else to do, just trust God.
Lastly, read this posting… http://www.marriagemissions.com/when-a-child-is-born-as-a-result-of-having-an-affair. You may get some comfort knowing you are not alone.
(USA) Hi. I have been married 7 yrs and am a mother of three. When my husband and I met my daughter was 7 yrs old and his son was 15 mo’s. 15mo’s after we married, we had our youngest son. We’d only been married a week or so when he had cheated on me the first time… with a man. Of course this really messed me up mentally; I’m almost positive I had a break down.
I became pregnant with my son during this emotional mental state. The last thing I wanted was a baby. I was extremely depressed my entire pregnancy. When he was born he almost died; 9 days of psychotic baby blues followed. Thank the Lord he lived and is very healthy now.
Throughout the 7 yrs of my marriage, my husband has been with two other women and 3 other men. I’ve asked God to send me a sign on what do. There’s really not much more to say – I can’t take much more of this. I haven’t wanted to live for a long time. I need to snap out of this as it’s making me a horrible person and an even worse mother. I can barely get up enough strength to get out of bed. Michele
(UNITED STATES) Michele, I know you are in serious pain. Please get tested for EVERYTHING! It’s obvious that your husband doesn’t know what he wants. Don’t put yourself or your children through this. You said it yourself, SNAP OUT OF IT. You are priceless… even if you don’t get a divorce, move on with your life. Concentrate on what matters the most to YOU!!! Put GOD first, Pray, Hold your head to the sky, put one foot in front of the other and don’t look back.
(USA) I have been married for a year now. Everything started out well. I must admit, there were many outsiders who doubted my marriage and my husband and our love for one another. He has been a wonderful provider and tends to our baby without fault or fail. Recently I found out that he has been communicating with a woman from a past relationship. He initiates most of their talk time and they work at the same location. Not to mention I work there also.
She has been sending him pictures of herself and he acknowledges them and tells her that they are beautiful. I feel that I have tried many things within my marriage to try to keep my husband’s attention but none of it has worked thus far. I confronted him about the other woman and he assured me that it would not happen again, but now I am stuck with the feeling of betrayal and wondering if there’s something that I am not doing in my marriage. I feel lonely and unloved.
I love my husband to the point where I would lay down my life but now I’m questioning his love for me. I have prayed to God to allow me to move on and get passed this but my husband is still being secretive which is not helping my healing process. I am so distraught. I am seeking scripture and guidance right now. I want my marriage and I want God to heal us.