I’m amazed how many “Christian” couples share their lives and home together, but they barely share a spiritual life together as a marital team. They may pray together at meal times (many don’t), but they don’t do much beyond that. Each may have a spiritual life individually, but they don’t do much to share it together.
Our Married Spiritual Life
I’m sure not going to throw stones at anyone for that because for a number of years, neither did my husband Steve and I. Truthfully, it never occurred to “share” our spiritual life together. Sure, we shared other aspects of our life together. And sure, we went to church together. Yes, we prayed together before a meal. But we didn’t do much spiritually together beyond that. That is… until a friend of mine challenged me on this. She told me that she and her husband pray together every morning. It transformed their marriage. They became MUCH closer after praying together than they ever were before.
So, I asked my husband if we could try praying together and he said yes. He said that it had never occurred to him to do this together either. That’s really sad, that it hadn’t crossed our minds previously. So we started to pray together, and we still do. Every morning and/or every evening (even if one of us is out of town) we pause and pray together.
Ours is usually a short time together (although sometimes it’s longer). We start out by talking a bit first. We each usually share something the Lord is teaching us. And then we pray together as we hold hands. It’s not a magic formula. You may find a different way works best for you. But the point is not HOW we do it, but THAT we do. We join hearts, hands and minds with each other and the Lord. It has united us in more ways than I can express.
We also join hearts and pray together at different times too —especially when one of us is struggling in some way. The other spouse will say, “Lets pray about this” or “can I pray for you right now?” And we do. Sometimes when something great happens we will pray united, thanking God for the blessing. Again, these are all different ways we can share our spiritual lives together.
Today I was reading a Thrivingfamily.com article titled, Closer to God and Each Other, written by Dr David Clarke. Dr Clarke gave us another idea that we’re going to use. And you might want to use too. Here’s a bit of what he wrote:
A Spiritual Life Shared Together
“At least once a week, Sandy and I share what God is doing in our lives. We usually do this in 30-minute ‘couple talk times.’ I want Sandy to know how I am doing in my relationship with God and how I’m growing in knowledge of Him. Sandy wants me to know how she is doing spiritually, too.
“We talk about what we’re experiencing in our daily quiet times. These are insights we’ve gained in our Bible study and how we’re applying Scripture to our lives. We also talk about spiritual victories and setbacks and how God is guiding us.
“We don’t deal in generalities. ‘How is your spiritual life doing?’ ‘Oh, it’s OK.’ What does that mean? Nothing.
“We’re honest, and we’re specific. ‘What has God taught you this week, Sandy?’ ‘He’s teaching me patience. I’ve been meditating on Galatians 5:22-23. Here are two situations God used this week to teach me the importance of patience. One was when I was at the grocery store…’
“Sharing our spiritual lives helps us grow closer to Christ. And because we’re opening up about the most important and intimate part of our lives, we grow closer to one another, too.”
I agree. I also agree with what Simone Signoret said:
“Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.”
Sewing Threads of Spiritual Togetherness
As you sew threads of agreement in prayer, it can’t help but draw you closer together. As a result, you will feel more connected to each other. You’ll find additional ideas for praying together and sharing more of a spiritual life with one another in the Spiritual Matters topic of this web site.
If you are both Christians, why not try these suggestions, or modify and try at least one of them?
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this blog.