Making Marriage Work

We remember a speaker challenging us with the following question many years ago: “If you worked at your job the same way you work at your marriage, how long do you think you’d stay employed?” Ouch! But it was a good “ouch”! It stirred our thinking in the direction of Read More…

Nitpicking in Marriage

Nitpicking. We’ve done that to each other in our marriage WAY too many times. Have you? Nitpicking (as defined by author, Sylvia Smith) is “focusing on minor flaws, trivial issues, or insignificant imperfections in one’s partner or the relationship itself. It involves magnifying small mistakes or quirks and treating them as Read More…

Poisonous Putdowns in Marriage

Have you been on the receiving end of poisonous putdowns from your spouse, through words that were thrown at you? Have YOU thrown verbal assaults at your spouse? Either way, this can hurt your marriage relationship. When you think about it: “Hostile, poisonous putdowns act as cancerous cells that, if unchecked, Read More…

Communicate: Debate vs. Relate

When you communicate, do you have a tendency to debate or relate? How about your spouse? What is his or her communication style? When you talk to each other about something important do you walk away with a good understanding of what each of you said? My six-year-old was dazzled Read More…

Calming Down Arguments in Marriage

Do you find yourself involved in arguments with your spouse, where calming arguments down (or at least certain arguments) before you continue any further is best? If you don’t, it’s almost certain something will be said and/or done that would be ungodly. And then regrets and ill feelings swarm in Read More…

Healthy Fights Within Marriage

The question is: Can we have healthy fights within our marriage? The answer? Yes! But it will take intentionality to learn how to do that. Unhealthy fighting comes naturally when a sinner marries a sinner. And let’s face it… we all have a propensity to sin. That’s why we have Read More…

The Importance of Unlearning Some Things in Marriage

Most of us have been told that if we’re going to have a good marriage we’ll need to learn some important things along the way. That’s all a part of married life. Some will be good; and some will be bad. But what about “unlearning” some things? Can that be Read More…

When Spouses Process Information Differently

Do you and your spouse process information on emotional issues differently? Does it ever happen to you that one of you goes forth to bring up a conflicting issue and the other tries to withdraw? That’s not as unusual of a situation as you might think. It sure has happened Read More…

Delaying Confrontations in Marriage

Delaying confrontations with your spouse can sometimes cause problems. Waiting and piling one problem on top of another can be problematic. But on the other hand, sometimes it’s a good thing—particularly when it’s a time to H.A.L.T. That would be a time when either of you is Hungry, Angry, or Read More…