Have you made it a point to say, “Thank you” to your spouse lately? We’re not just talking about saying thanks after he or she does something for you (although that’s important too). But lets ALSO remember to give thanks beyond those common courtesies. How about telling your spouse “thank you” for the person she or he is, not just what your spouse has done for you?
Here’s a marriage tip from the web site, “To Love, Honor, and Vacuum”:
“Instead of telling your husband you love him, tell him WHY you love him.”
Actively Practice Your Gratitude
We think that’s a great idea. It can be shared both ways. Why not sit down and write out a few of the reasons you most love about him or her? And then share them with your spouse. Actively practice gratitude.
Someone said, “Instead of focusing on what’s missing, learn to appreciate what’s already there.” We want to add, “and don’t forget to GIVE VOICE to that, which you appreciate.”
We’re told in the Song of Solomon, “This is my beloved; this is my friend.” Why not tell your friend (spouse) “thank you” for some of the things you appreciate about him or her?
The Thank You Challenge
The following is a challenge for you. Start out with this phrase, “Thank you for being you…” And then list several of the things you’re thankful for. Afterward, share your lists with each other.
Steve and I took this “challenge” last night. It was a very emotional time for us —in a great way. It endeared us to each other all the more. Someone else said, “It is not happy people who are thankful. It is thankful people who are happy.” (I’m sorry, but I really don’t know who gave that tip, but it’s true.) Steve and I are even happier than we were before we exchanged our “thank you’s.”
The Lord is pleased, no doubt, when we “encourage one another” as we’re told to do in the Bible. “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” (Proverbs 25:11) Speak words to your spouse that express your appreciation of him or her. The things you say to your spouse can become as “apples of gold in settings of silver.” They can make our spouse shine from the outside in, and then from the inside out. That’s a shine that brightens even cloudy days!
Give Thanks
So, during this time of Thanksgiving, why not say thanks to your spouse, as well? Thank God first, and above all, and then thank your spouse. And if you can, please tell us how it went by leaving your comment below. You might even share your thanks publicly on the web site. And then invite your spouse to see it. It has been said that, “Giving accolades in front of an audience is like giving care packages for the heart.” When you say something nice about your spouse to others, it sure can make them feel grateful that they have a spouse who brags on them. Give your spouse a “care package” for the heart whenever you can.
That’s what we decided to do. On the tail end of this Marriage Insight, we’re including a few of the things we appreciate about each other. We’re hoping they will inspire you to do the same with your spouse. Also, we’ll be including a few links to related articles, as well. We pray they bless your heart, and also your marriage.
Make sure you “encourage one another” whenever you can. And may your marriage be blessed!
Cindy and Steve Wright
— ALSO —
The following are our (abbreviated) lists saying, “I love you for…” and “I thank you for…” (Some of it was too personal, but here are some of the main points:
Cindy (talking to Steve):
“Thank you Steve, for being you…”
- I love you, and thank you for being such a kind-hearted man. You exhibit the love of God to me and everyone you are with, and I love that about you. You have helped me to believe that men can be good. (I had been hurt by many important men in my life. As a result, my view of men was tainted. But through our years together Steve has changed that.) You are faithful, kind, godly, loving, and I am blessed to have you for my husband.
- You have shown me love that touches the depths of my heart. Thank you for all you have done to make me feel cherished. Most wives never get to feel that depth of love. I know I am GREATLY blessed.
- Thank you for being such a good father. Our sons (and daughter in laws) are blessed to have you as their dad. And our grandchildren cherish you so much. Thank you for pouring your heart and life out to bless us in so many ways.
- I love how you make people feel valued. You have such a God annointed love that comes through as you spend time with people. I love that about you and am so blessed to watch you genuinely bless others. Thank you for being you.
- Thank you for making me laugh. We have so much fun in our marriage, and family life. I love you sense of humor, and the fact that you share it with me so much. Thank you.
Also:
- You bring sunshine and “son” shine (the love of Christ exhibited) into our home. Without you, our home is just a house. Every room is brighter when you enter it. Thank you for being you.
- Thank you for being my prayer partner. Knowing you pray for me and whenever you pray with me and over me, blesses my life. Thank you from the depths of my heart.
- I love sharing life together. You are my best friend, my companion, and my hero in so many ways. Thank you for putting up with my quirkiness, and for loving me despite them. I love you with all my heart!
- Thank you for taking such good care of me. Thank you for the foot massages, and for filling my car with gas. I appreciate how you make sure I have ice water to drink and so very much more.
- Thank you for being my marital partner, and my ministry partner. Oh, how I love ministering together —especially through Marriage Missions. You are an amazing man, and I am indeed blessed to be your wife.
Steve (talking to Cindy):
“Thank you Cindy, for being you…”
- I thank you for your commitment to God. I know it has given you a steadfast love for me for more than 47 years. You have been the most wonderful “helpmate” I could ever imagine having the privilege of being married to.
- You have challenged me to excel in everything in life. I thank you for that. Because you don’t settle for mediocrity for yourself, nor in me it has made me a better, more godly husband because of it.
- Thank you for being my best friend “for life.” I couldn’t even begin to imagine going through life without you by my side.
- I thank you for your unswerving dedication to our life mission and work. I know there would be no Marriage Missions without your passion. If it wasn’t for you people would have missed the blessing of this ministry in their lives.
- I love you SO much for your steadfast love for me. I know without that there is no way you could have put up with my 42 years of being a Type-1 diabetic…and all of the “stuff” it brought into our marriage.
Also:
- Thank you for being my best friend “for life.” I couldn’t even begin to imagine going through life without you by my side.
- Thanks too for (almost) always laughing at my jokes. Isn’t that what “best friends” do?
- You have blessed me with ALL of the prayers you have lifted to heaven for me; I know they sustained me through the hard times. And thank you for being my prayer partner. It’s wonderful being able to go to God together with any need we may have. Even when you’re mad at me you will still pray with me and that brings about faster healing in our relationship.
- I thank God that you are the mother of our sons. Thanks for all of the sacrifices you made by putting the needs of our kids (and me) ahead of your own. I also love to watch you with our grandchildren. It can easily see in their eyes the love they have for you.
- I love and appreciate you for enjoying the “simple things in life,” like our pizza and movie nights. We don’t have to go to fancy/expensive restaurants; we can hold hands and watch TV on the sofa and enjoy every minute of our time together.
- Quoting one of our favorite “old time” entertainers, Bob Hope – “THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES,” sweetheart!
ADDITIONALLY:
Here are some links to a few additional articles we encourage you to read on this subject:
Filed under: Marriage Insights