“Your wife is like an automobile.” That appears to be a strange statement to make, isn’t it? Yes, it is… but it’s also true. Your wife could be a person (like some automobiles) who requires high maintenance. Or perhaps she’s a low maintenance type of marriage partner. She could be “efficient” and “dependable” or costly—a wife who needs a special amount of attention. But as author Stormie Omartian says, “She needs fuel to make her run smoothly” regardless. Your wife’s spirit needs “gas in her car.” That’s where you come in as a praying husband.
She could be full right now with the “daily infilling of the Holy Spirit” and with infusions of your love. Or she could be running on empty, and need an extra dose of God’s infilling and your help. No matter what… as her husband, your wife needs you as her marriage partner to pray for her and to love her as God would have you. She needs for you to be her praying husband
To better understand what Stormie Omartian means when she compares your wife to an automobile, plus additional advice she has for you as a praying husband, please read:
• THE POWER OF A PRAYERFUL HUSBAND
You, as a Praying Husband
Stormie Omartian makes another comparison, as it pertains to you as her praying husband. She equates your marriage to be much like a football game.
“You and your wife are a team. And she wants the security of knowing that when things are tough and down to the wire—even when the enemy is already celebrating your demise and all appears to be lost—you have the faith to believe that up to the very last second everything can turn around. She needs the assurance you have a play in your pocket that can take you down the field with the ball for a possible winning score. She wants you to trust that with God nothing is impossible. And because of that you will never give up hoping for the impossible to happen.”
To learn more, here’s another article to read. It has the same title but different content, which is important to read:
• THE POWER OF A PRAYERFUL HUSBAND
To help you further as a praying husband
The following is something that Stormie’s husband Michael Omartian has written on a husband praying for his wife. After that, you will find a link to a prayer outline, written by “Huz.” Plus, you will find a link to another written prayer, which you can use as an outline as a praying husband, praying on behalf of your wife.
Michael Omartian writes:
“Prayer requires forgetting your own agenda and letting God set the agenda. Many times prayer would focus my attention away from the need to see Stormie change, and become more accommodating to me, to instead change me to be more accommodating to her. That’s scary stuff for the ego! But through prayer we have been able to make changes and work things out. Now we have been married for 28 years and I can’t imagine anyone else as my mate. But our problems only work themselves out when she and I join with God to solve them. That threefold cord will not be easily broken.”
Below is a prayer that Michael has used, that you can too, joined with God in:
PRAYER POWER
“Lord, I pray that You would establish in me and (wife’s name) bonds of love that cannot be broken. Show me how to love my wife in an ever-deepening way that she can clearly perceive. May we have mutual respect and admiration for each other so that we become and remain one another’s greatest friend, champion, and unwavering support.
“Where love has been diminished, lost, destroyed, or buried under hurt and disappointment, put it back in our hearts. Give us strength to hold on to the good in our marriage. Help us even in those times when one of us doesn’t feel love.
“Enable my wife and me to forgive each other quickly and completely. Specifically I lift up to You (name any area where forgiveness is needed). Help us to ‘be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving,’ the way You are to us (Ephesians 4:32).
“Teach us to overlook the faults and weaknesses of the other. Give us a sense of humor, especially as we deal with the hard issues of life.
“Unite us in faith, beliefs, standards of morality, and mutual trust. Help us to be of the same mind, to move together in harmony, and to quickly come to mutual agreements about our finances, our children, how we spend our time, and any other decisions that need to be made.
Also:
“Where we are in disagreement and this has caused strife, I pray You would draw us together on the issues. Adjust our perspectives to align with Yours. Make our communication open and honest so that we avoid misunderstandings.
“May we have the grace to be tolerant of each other’s faults and, at the same time, have the willingness to change. I pray that we will not live two separate lives, but will instead walk together as a team. Remind us to take time for one another so that our marriage will be a source of happiness, peace, and joy for us both.
“Lord, I pray that You would protect our marriage from anything that would destroy it. Take out of our lives anyone who would come between us or tempt us. Help us to immediately recognize and resist temptation when it presents itself.
Furthermore:
“I pray that no other relationship either of us have, or have had in the past, will rob us of anything in our relationship now. Sever all unholy ties in both of our lives. May there never be any adultery or divorce in our future to destroy what You, Lord, have put together. Help because it has developed a non-working part. I pray that we will turn to You—the Designer—to fix it and get it operating the way it was intended.
“Teach us to seek each other’s well-being first, as You have commended in Your Word (1 Corinthians 10:24). We want to keep You at the center of our marriage and not expect from each other what only You can give.
“Where either of us have unrealistic expectations of the other, open our eyes to see it. May we never waver in our commitment and devotion to You and to one another, so that this marriage will become all You designed it to be.”
This prayer is found in the book, The Power of a Praying® Husband
– ALSO –
Below you will find additional prayers you can pray for your wife, located at other web site locations. Please click onto the links below to read:
• HOW TO PRAY FOR YOUR MARRIAGE — A User’s Guide
• PRAYER PORTIONS: Praying for Your Wife
• PRAYING FOR YOUR WIFE HEAD TO TOE
If you have additional tips to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
Filed under: For Married Men Spiritual Matters
(USA) What is sad is when God says no to such prayers. I recall years ago, when my now ex-wife was in her affair and I got this book. I faithfully prayed every prayer in the book numerous times as I went through it daily, and nothing changed. The affair continued, no protections, no strengthening of the relationship, no insights on how to love, etc.
So how would I recommend this course of action to others, given how fruitless it was for me? Notice the key is in this statement, “…but our problems only work themselves out when she and I join with God to solve them.” If only one is praying, it apparently is a fruitless exercise.
Just felt the need to share that, lest anyone think that their prayers alone will help.
I almost lost my faith due to the lack of answers to the prayers in this book not to mention how the prayers of my family and friends to see the marriage restored were given a “no” answer.
I really don’t want to see anyone else have to experience the pain of knowing they are praying for something clearly in the will of God, yet God doesn’t act in a fashion that brings about His well stated will with regards to family and marriage.
(GUYANA) Dear Tony, One thing I’ve learn from God is that we need to examine our life. First, did you obtain the gift of salvation from the Lord? Did you confess all your sins to God and man (whoever you may have wrong)? Did God give you assurance that your sins are forgiven from the Bible?
If our life is not in order with God, we sometimes wonder why things are not working out for us, but sometimes we are the one who are hindering the progress.
Faith is something that has to be worked at. I don’t think people get married to be separated. We need to continue in prayer. Sometimes changes does not happen right away, sometimes it takes years. (Please read the life of JOB in the Bible) I have read a book too about marriage titled “His needs Her Needs”. Maybe you can read that too. May God help you to be strong and show you all his plans for your life.
(USA) Shanti, I’ve been a born again believer for almost 40 years. It’s only by grace through faith that I’m saved, that my sins are forgiven, and that I’m washed as white as snow through the blood of the lamb that was slain on Calvary.
I actually worked with Dr Harley’s son in coaching when I was still married to my ex-wife. I eliminated LB’s, worked on meeting EN’s (which she really wouldn’t allow since she had run off with her affair partner.)
So not only do I have the books, but I worked personally with the Marriage Builders team to no benefit to my former marriage. I have the notes, the assignments, etc. I’ve done the questionnaires. But then none of that is useful if your spouse doesn’t end the affair and do the work as well. So I’m now divorced and since remarried years after the divorce.
But again, it’s only by faith in God I still believe. Because if my belief require proof, I’d have left the faith years ago, given the lack of answers to prayer.
(UK, BUT AMERICAN) Tony, One thing I wanted to point out to you that you cannot think for one moment that God had a plan for your wife to have an affair! That is NOT God. Your wife chose to deceive and be unfaithful, probably despite God putting on her heart that it was wrong.
God does not control us because we humans have free will. You did the right thing; you prayed for her, your faith was strong, you were in the right place. Your wife did wrong, sinned, and hurt you and ruined your marriage.
Please don’t ever think or say that God had anything to do with your wife’s sinful behaviour. It was her choice and hers alone. God did not abandon you nor will he ever. Keep your eyes on Jesus, he does not disappoint – but people do.
(UK/USA) I am experiencing my husband’s third affair, and believe it or not, I only found out about all three of them on December 1, 2010. I knew our marriage was not perfect, as no marriage is, but I did not ever think that he was capable of doing what he has done to me and us. I know that it is permissable in the eyes of God to divorce, given his adulterous behavior, but God does not condem you if you and your spouse decide to do everything it takes to save your marriage. But you both have to want to do so… together.
Now that my husband’s betrayal has come to the surface, this man who once talked the talk of God, but was not walking it, has made a renewed vow to come back to God in all aspects of his life. Some of my family have called me a fool and have said I have no backbone for wanting to stay married to this man. But personally, I think I am pretty strong to believe that if my husband and I both stay in the light of God, that together we can make it. I believe in my heart, that God is going to honor me with my husband being the husband that I was intended to have almost 17 years ago, when we said our vows.
(USA) Sharon: Yes! God can and will head your marriage. But ONLY God can heal it. Please know that no marriage is perfect. You take two human beings with their own emotional baggage and personalities. Even if it is not perfect, there is absolutely no excuse for adultery. The number of “affairs” your husband has had indicates a brokeness within him that has nothing to do with you. In fact, it probably started long before you came in the picture (perhaps from childhood abuse or abandonment).
Now, that is no excuse for the way he has behaved, but as he begins to work with a Christ-filled counselor, he will hopefully be able to uncover and face the void that was in him that made him go to such a dark place to try to fix his feelings. God bless you both. I will be praying for you.
(INDIA) Please pray for my wife and myself. We are going through a rough phase. Recently I discovered that she is seeing another man and it has hurt me a lot. I usually get worked up very fast but this time I have been calm. I do not show my hurt to anyone but keep crying. I pray to God to destroy the relationship my wife is having with the other man.
Please pray for a reconciliation in our marriage. Please pray that my wife stops all connection with the other man and loves and cares for me again. I do not want to go through a divorce. I love my wife a lot.
(USA) My husband prayed with me nearly every day and always said, “Thank you Lord for our happy, healthy marriage.” and later I found out he was a sex addict having intercourse with prostitutes, among a lot of other stuff. How can I not lose faith when my marriage is now gone? He is with someone else, and I am all alone.
Each time I remember us praying together and him saying that we had a happy healthy marriage, and my husband praying with me, but he was also leading a double life (according to him during his disclosure) our whole 12 years of marriage, it makes me want to scream and ask God why? My husband, who hurt me, betrayed me, was horribly unfaithful, took a chance on getting a disease and giving it to me, is now with someone else and I, who was faithful, am alone.
Dear Sylvia, I can’t even start to tell you how sorry I am that you find yourself in this situation. If I could change it, I would in a mili-second. When my husband saw your comment, he pointed it out to me to read and told me he thought I should respond, when I could. He grieves for you and I do too. Sylvia, if I could give you comfort I would. If I had peace and help and hope for you — I would transfer it from my heart into your heart and into your life. All I can say is that my heart cries for you and prays for you.
You summed up the injustice of it all in your last sentence, “My husband, who hurt me, betrayed me, was horribly unfaithful, took a chance on getting a disease and giving it to me, is now with someone else and I, who was faithful, am alone.” Your clear and extraordinarily true statement describes the epitome of all that is wrong about adultery and all that is wrong about what your husband did to you –especially when you prayed together … how wrong is that? It’s the worst! He prostituted that which is good and pure into evil.
Sylvia, I can only imagine how this breaks God’s heart, as well. This is NOT what He wants a husband to do, in any way, shape, or form. He entrusted your husband to cherish you, not cheat on and deceive you. God gives each of us a free will and it has to be horrifying for Him to see what some of us do with that privilege. Tragically, so many of the trials and tribulations we are told we will encounter in this world come about because of the sinful choices, which people make –all of which, hurt the innocent. You are one of them. So, so sorry.
You have a lot to work through, because of your husband’s sinful decisions. I hope you will fall INTO God’s arms, rather than away from Him. It’s natural to question Him. You can even rant and rave. He can take that. But please know that He did not cause your husband to do this to you. God won’t MAKE your husband do what he should do –even though that is His heart. Because He gives everyone a free will, it would go against His nature to force us to live as we should.
I encourage you to go to the Bible and open up the book of Psalms and use it to pour out your heart to the Lord –praying whatever comes to your mind and heart. God knows what it is like to have those you love betray you. He cries with you. I believe that your tears and petitions to the Lord will eventually bring healing your heart. You will never be the same, but prayerfully, you will heal if you fight bitterness and unforgiveness. Otherwise, it will eat you alive and continue to cause more hurt in the future. I hope for you… I pray for you… I pray the Lord helps you, and guides you, and comforts you, and speaks to you, and works in and through you. I also pray He infuses hope into your heart that you will eventually experience better days –ones that will begin to bring a smile to your heart (even though right now, that must seem impossible). I pray God’s healing upon your heart and your life, my dear sister in Christ.
(AUSTRALIA) Hi there, I found your prayer extremely comforting as I myself am trying to save my marriage right now. My wife and I have been together for 6 years now and I have just found out that she is in love with another man. This obviously hurts me greatly but my wife wants to give us a shot. We have both drifted apart and neglected each other over the past couple of years and I desperately want to make it work and will do another possible.
I have also neglected my relationship with Jesus but now I am praying everyday and seeking his will and counsel. I know my wife would not be happy with the man she fell in love with and I will be patient and wait for her to deal with this.
What advice would you have for me as right now? I am very needy and emotional and this is frustrating my wife as she wants me to be strong?
(KENYA) Am currently reading your book and its been very difficult for me because I have stumbled upon intimate messages from 3 different men in her phone within the last 12 months. As you have written I have to learn to pray for her, but it’s hard to imagine even after apologising and telling me nothing ever happened between them I still feel very cheated and I am not sure what to do.
We have been married for 11 years, and have 3 kids who I love so much but have already started doubting if they are all my own after this discovery. What do I do? Currently we are on talking terms and I have forgiven her but after I started reading this book I think I still have a lot in my heart that I have not released. Please advise. I want my marriage to work.
(US) I would like to ask prayer for my wife of 12 years. I am a praying man with children and am trying to keep my family together. There was infidelity on her part in the past and I’m working to trust and truly love her again. However, it is very difficult. At one time I would have given my life for her but…
(INDIA) I was married to my wife for 1 and half year and we have been in love since 8 years and stayed together for 7 years. I was very harsh on her and she left me and went to her family 3 weeks back. When I tried contacting her she said the she is not at all willing to come back to me. I committed suicide but was saved by my friends. After hospitalization, I went to native and apologized to her in front of her family and requested for her to forgive my sins and advised her that next time no matter what mistake or lie she tells me, I will never raise my voice or be harsh on her. But she has not come to me.
Recently I heard from her relative that her mother and a few other family members were forcing her and were pestering her to abort the baby as she is in her fifth month of her pregnancy. Please pray to the Holy Father to change the hearts and minds of her family and show love and respect to me forever. I beg you to pray for me to the Holy Lord, that he may change the heart, soul and mind of my beloved wife to make her come back to me immediately, safe and healthy with everlasting love, affection and belief in me till death.
Soften her heart and tear down her walls towards me, Lord. Please Lord, work in my wife’s heart and help her see the beautiful life we had together. Restore our relationship with you, remind her of her vows. Do not let her deny our love, marriage, and born children. Turn her ears from the adverse advice she is getting from those who do not follow the words of God with whole heart. Show her a way to escape pride, selfishness, forgiveness through you, Jesus. Soften her heart and tear down her walls towards me, Lord. Show her the way back home to you and to me with a humble heart to be a godly wife and mother bringing glory to your name. Let her heart overflow with nothing but love for you, for me, and for our children. Shield our marriage in your full armor Lord, and do not let Satan destroy another marriage and family. Thanks be to God. Glory to you! Help all of those who are crying out for you. Help the marriages and families Satan is trying to destroy, as well. I pray this in Jesus name. Amen!
(USA) I need help. I’m a preacher; my wife and I have had problems but God was moving. Then her parents started pushing her to divorce so they can get my 2 girls. She’s so blinded. She listens to everyone but me. I got a Christian marriage counselor. She told my wife to divorce me. So I knew she wasn’t much of a Christian counselor. She did not even use the Bible. I got away from her but it was too late. Please pray for me. I love my wife so much.
(UNITED STATES) Hi my name is Willie and I have a great wife but I do a lot of dumb things. I am 26 and always say something crazy to make my wife look at me as less of a man and like a little boy. I love her and want to be a great husband.
I feel bad for you guys who have cheating wives.