The following are a number of quotes that Marriage Missions International individually sent out and then posted on our Twitter site as marriage tips, which can still be used in a variety of ways:
• A church, ministry, counseling organization, or an individual can use them to share, if desired.
• They can be used as points of discussion in marriage classes, mentoring, counseling, or coaching situations.
• Couples or individuals can use these quotes to discuss or consider the issues raised, allowing the Holy Spirit, our Wonderful Counselor, to speak further to them.
They make great discussion points for those couples who want to use them for conversation starters for a 22 Minute Date. Just make sure, if you use these quotes in a dating situation, you don’t get into heated arguments over them.
The point in sharing these marriage tips is to build marital relationship bridges, not construct walls of contention, causing a breakdown of communication. You can constructively disagree with these tips and with each other, and still learn more about each other and grow closer together, in the process.
It is our sincere hope that the tips below will help marriages. As you read them, consider:
1. Do you agree or disagree? Why or why not?
2. Do you have further thoughts on the issue, to apply personally or as a general rule? (If you’re reading them with someone else, please share.)
3. Do any scriptures come to mind, which apply to the marriage tip given? (If possible, please share.)
The following are quotes to note for your use (each quote stands on its own —for your knowledge, the original sources are noted afterward in parenthesis):
• Working on your marriage is your greatest witness of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Marriage is about the glory of God—not about the happiness of man.” (Dennis Rainey, from the Familylife.com article, “40 Lessons From 40 Years of Marriage”)
• “Marriage is the ultimate laboratory for developing in the fruit of the Spirit.” (From Marriage Works!)
• “Don’t be naïve. Infidelity usually begins with an innocent relationship that moves to an emotional depth that crosses a line of fidelity.” (Jill Savage, from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “8 Safeguards Against Getting Too Close”)
• In your marriage: “Make plans together. Be a team. You’re in this walk together; no longer individuals.” (See: Genesis 2:24, Ephesians 5:31) (Amy Allen, from redeemedmarriage.com blog, “Healing Sexual Sin In Marriage”)
• “Wives don’t want to hear what husbands think. Wives want to hear what they think —in a deeper voice.” The reverse is true of husbands too. (Quote by Bill Cosby)
• “Marriage should be the best place for 2 imperfect people to find acceptance and ongoing forgiveness as well as the courage to change and grow.” (Excerpted from Moments With You by Dennis and Barbara Rainey)
• “Never forget: you didn’t just marry a man or a woman; you married a son or daughter of God. Treat him, treat her, accordingly.” (Gary Thomas)
• “Little gestures go a long way. Ask yourself: Do I smile at him? Do I offer her a cup of coffee when I pour myself a cup of coffee?” (Pat Love)
• “A patient person shows great understanding, but a quick-tempered one promotes foolishness” (Prov. 14:29). Are you a foolish spouse? (Stephen and Alex Kendrick, from the book, “The Love Dare Day by Day”)
• “Sex in marriage should be a reflection of God’s love. Love is patient and kind. Love doesn’t force its own way…” (Marriage Works!)
• “Sociologist Linda Waite says 86% of unhappy couples that stick it out report being much happier 5 years later.” Persevere thru tough times. (Michelle Weiner Davis)
• “Love is your primary responsibility in marriage. Did you not vow to a lifelong love at the altar?” Don’t break the promises you made. (Stephen and Alex Kendrick, from the book, “The Love Dare Day by Day”)
• “Marriage is one of our main instructors on how love is supposed to be given and received” as it’s pointed out and taught throughout the Bible. (Stephen and Alex Kendrick, from the book, “The Love Dare Day by Day”)
• Like radar units, your children see the health of your marriage and it matters to them. Proactively make your marriage as healthy as possible. (CDW)
• “Love selflessly. Try to understand your spouse’s love language and give what they desire even if it doesn’t make sense to you.” (1 Cor. 13) (Amy Allen, from redeemedmarriage.com blog, “Healing Sexual Sin In Marriage”)
• “Censor marital advice (i.e. ignore naysayers). Surround yourself with people who value your marriage as much as you do.” -Laurie Wallin
• “An important truth is that we can’t unsay anything we say. We can never erase the things we say in moments of frustration or anger.” (H.B. London, from the book, “The Best Advice I Ever Got on Marriage”)
• Showing affection is important to build intimacy in marriage. Hugging and holding hands help you to connect on a physical AND emotional level. (CDW)
• “Your marriage is your greatest witness of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Marriage is about the glory of God—not about the happiness of man.” (Dennis Rainey, from the Familylife.com article, “40 Lessons From 40 Years of Marriage”)
• “Even if the good you see in your spouse is extremely small, nurture it with your words as you would a tiny seedling in unyielding ground.” (Joni Eareckson Tada)
• If you and your spouse approach life differently, don’t fight them; join them together to bring balance to work FOR you, in your relationship. (CDW)
• “We’re not the Holy Spirit. After seeking the Lord in prayer and if He is nudging you to talk to your spouse about an issue, do it —lovingly!” (Amy Allen, from redeemedmarriage.com blog, “Healing Sexual Sin In Marriage”)
• “The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate. It is focused attention.” – Rick Warren
• “If people put as much work into their marriages as they will have to into a divorce, we’d have a lot more happy families.” –(Sheila Wray Gregore -from the Tolovehonorandvacuum.com article, “Invest in Your Marriage”)
• “Jesus wants us to love real people—not ideal people—and your marriage is a lab for learning how to love like Jesus loves.” (Rick Warren, Rick Warren, from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “The Purpose Driven Marriage”)
• Everyone has the need to be noticed and admired, including your spouse. Pro-actively look for ways to say, “I notice you and value who you are.”
• “‘Bearing with one another in love‘ (Eph. 4:2) should be a motto you carry into every day and every potential altercation with your mate.” (Stephen and Alex Kendrick, from the book, “The Love Dare Day by Day”)
• In your marriage relationship: “Don’t rest on your laurels. Continue practicing the three T’s: Time together, Talk, and Touch.” (Michelle Weiner Davis)
• “Marriage calls us to an entirely new and selfless life …Any situation that calls me to confront my selfishness has enormous spiritual value.” (Gary Thomas)
• “If God’s purpose for each of our lives is to make us look more like Jesus, what better tool could he use than the marriage relationship?” (Rick Warren, from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “The Purpose Driven Marriage”)
• “A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It’s when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.” (Dave Meurer)
• “A couple that prays together shares an intimacy that cannot be created by any other means.” (Marriage Works!)
• On sensitive issues, it may be good to rehearse what you want to say before voicing it. Don’t just dump your words out; choose them wisely. (CW)
• “Marriage is our society’s most pro-child institution. If you want kids to do well, then you want marriage to do well.” -David Blankenhorn
• “Every marriage knows difficulty. But everyone can be joyful by focusing on God’s purposes and His glory instead of individual happiness.” (Bill Elliff, from Growthtrac.com article, “8 Lies That Destroy Marriage”)
• “Many problems in marriage would be avoided or quickly resolved if husbands and wives followed the counsel in James 1:19.” Read it; apply it. (Stephen and Alex Kendrick, from the book, “The Love Dare Day by Day”)
• “Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.” (Barbara De Angelis)
• A friendly marital reminder: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” (Ephesians 4:2).
• Regulate technology devices while on vacations. It’s good to get “unconnected” from the distractions. Instead, “love the one you’re with.” (Dave Boehi, from the article, “Setting Boundaries for Mobile Technology”)
• Keep in mind: “You are not responsible for fixing your marriage. But you are responsible for doing what YOU can to make it better.” (Sheila Wray Gregoire, from the Tolovehonorandvacuum.com article, “Living in a Loveless Marriage”)
• “Study, learn, and become passionate about marriage. If you want to have a great marriage, talk to some people who are doing it right.” (Kirk Cameron, from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “Love is Worth Waiting For”)
• “Seeing our spouses as God’s sons or daughters helps us love them despite their imperfections.” (Gary Thomas)
• When your spouse comes home, do you roll out an emotional “Welcome” mat, where it’s possible for him or her to enter to feel loved and valued? (CDW)
• “Invest in your relationship as early as you can, as much as you can, and as often as you can!” – Krafsky
• “When talking to a friend about marital problems, do so with your heart focused on finding solutions, not to get someone else on your side.” (Marie Osborne, from the Crosswalk.com article, “Friends Help Friends Stay Happily Married”)
• “Satan is the accuser (Rev 12:10), and loves accusing your mate. Don’t join him. Lift your mate up!” (Marriage Works!)
• Be mindful: “just because you’re going thru a rough patch it doesn’t mean it will always be that way.” Marriage goes thru ebbs and flows. (Sheila Wray Gregoire)
• “For the Christian, the 1st question we should ask ourselves when doing anything is, ‘Will this be pleasing to Jesus Christ?'” -Gary Thomas
• “Marriage is a life-long process designed to teach you to see the needs of another person as more important than your own” –your spouse. (Rick Warren, from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “The Purpose Driven Marriage”)
• When arguing with your spouse: “If you need a timeout, take it —but agree on when you’ll come back.” (Drs Les & Leslie Parrott)
• “Forgiveness doesn’t mean you forget what happened. It just means you’re no longer going to let it rule you.” (Marriage Works!)
• “When a friend talks about her (his) spouse, be careful how you respond. Don’t encourage more complaining.” It can cause even more problems. (Marie Osborne, from the Crosswalk.com article, “Friends Help Friends Stay Happily Married”)
• Remember that you’ll “give an account on the Day of Judgment for every careless word” you say to your spouse (Matt. 12:37). Speak love. (CDW)
• “Love is patient and kind…” (1 Cor. 13:4). “Patience helps you give your spouse permission to be human. It understands that everyone fails.” (Stephen and Alex Kendrick, from the book, “The Love Dare Day by Day”)
• Make a point of intentionally looking for something positive about your spouse daily. Then tell him or her what you see that you appreciate! (CW)
• “Happy marriages BEGIN when we marry the ones we love, but they BLOSSOM when we love the ones we marry.” -Tom Mullen
• “To avoid hurting each other’s feelings, pick the right time and place, choose words wisely and be ready to hear the truth about yourself.” (Kira Newman, from the Simplemarriage.net article, “How to Be Honest Without Hurting Your Spouse’s Feelings”)
• When confronting your spouse, honestly consider: “Are your intentions really good? Or are you just taking revenge, or trying to wound?” (Kira Newman, gleaned from the Simplemarriage.net article, “How to Be Honest Without Hurting Your Spouse’s Feelings”)
• “Practice Kind Words. Learn to speak with kindness. It’s a day-by-day choice. When you flub up, back up, apologize and say it nicer.” (Lori Byerly from the Happywivesclub.com article, “7 Marriage Practices Worth Perfecting”)
• “Love is patient, love is kind.” –> Live these six words on purpose today to enhance your marriage.” (From 1 Cor. 13:4) (Quote from ministry of Marriage Works!)
• In the way you deal with each other, marriage was designed by God to be a place of comfort and safety, not condemnation and critique.” BE KIND. (Quote excerpted from Moments With You by Dennis and Barbara Rainey)
• “You didn’t learn how to play an instrument well in one night. It will take time to learn how to ‘make music’ with your spouse too.” (J & G Murphy)
• Parent TOGETHER: “Negotiate disciplinary actions, rewards and other parenting policies in private so you present a united front to your kids.” (Whitney Hopler, from the Crosswalk.com article, “How to Negotiate with Your Spouse so You Both Win”)
• “The trick in a marriage is to tackle circumstances without attacking the ones we love. God can help. He knows about love. Even in battle.” (Janelle Alberts, from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “Marriage Takes Courage”)
• “Wisdom… is first of all pure; then peace loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere” (James 3:17).
• “Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. (1 John 3:18) Show with your actions that you value your spouse.” (Dr Greg Smalley)
• “What keeps a marriage healthy is that everything comes down to this truth: A husband and wife are one, as Christ and the Spirit are one.” (From The Mystery of Marriage by Mike Mason)
• When you’re angry at your spouse, don’t play the blame game. “You, and ONLY YOU, are responsible for your actions, and your reactions.” (Quote by Dr Scott Haltzman)
• “Write down thots about long-buried issues in letters to each other to avoid explosive verbal arguments and to present it clearly and calmly.” (Whitney Hopler, gleaned from the Crosswalk.com article, “How to Negotiate with Your Spouse so You Both Win”)
• “Words are not neutral. They either tear down or build up. They’re either hurtful or helpful.” Be wise in what you allow yourself to say. (Quote from Mark Merrill, from the Happywivesclub.com article, “5 Ways to Filter What You Say to Your Spouse”)
• Prayerfully consider that “you can choose to repay coldness with kindness, seeing this as an opportunity to grow” —personally and in Christ. (Gary and Carrie Oliver)
• “As you abide in Christ’s love, the love you have for your spouse will increase in the overflow.” (Stephen and Alex Kendrick, from the book, “The Love Dare Day by Day”)
• With your spouse: “Kiss passionately every day. Daily passionate kissing keeps the pilot light on so you can more easily turn up the flame.” (Joyce J. Penner)
• “It’s good that we do kingdom work for others, but if we don’t do it for our spouse, we need to question the good of other things we do.” (John Ortberg, gleaned from his Todayschristianwoman.com article, “Joy in the Journey”)
• “It’s easier to change a behavior when you’re in a loving environment than when you’re having your shortcomings highlighted for you.” (Dr Greg Smalley, from the book, “The Best Advice I Ever Got on Marriage”)
• “Marriage causes you to take responsibility for not just what you say, but how you say it —tone, body language, sarcasm and all.” (Debra Fileta, gleaned from the Crosswalk.com article, 10 Secrets You Should Know About Marriage”)
• “Be each other’s cheer-leader. Just as we want to be around people who make us laugh, we want to be with those who value and appreciate us.” (Gleaned from the book, “Intimacy on the Run” by Jeannette and Robert Lauer)
• “Success in marriage is less about doing big things than it is about doing little things day after day.” “Be ye kind to one another…” (Quotes from Tolovehonorandvacuum.com and Ephesians 4:32)
• During a marital dispute: “You’ll be more productive if you focus on the PROBLEM and work TOGETHER as a team to devise a way of avoiding it.” (Drs Les and Leslie Parrott, in Thriving Family article, “Learn to Fight Fair”)
• “The more you recognize the difficulties you bring to the [marriage] table, the more acceptance you’ll have of your partner’s foibles.” (Drs. Les and Les Parrott)
• Don’t spend so much time “connecting” with others thru Facebook, etc that you neglect your marriage partnership. Save time for him or her. (CW)
• “Bringing home a card [or a small special treat] ‘just because’ or remembering to fill the gas tank makes a spouse feel special and loved.” (Linda Janowitz)
• “Work on your relationship with God. Be in the Bible, learning from Him. As you grow closer to the Lord you grow closer to each other.” (Amy Allen, from redeemedmarriage.com blog, “Healing Sexual Sin In Marriage”)
• Before marriage choose the one you love; after marriage, love the one you chose …with the grace Christ has given to you.
• “If your wife or husband is uncomfortable in certain situations, do your actions amplify their awkwardness, or work to ease their minds?” (Stephen and Alex Kendrick, from “The Love Dare Day-by-Day… A Year of Devotions for Couples”)
• Much of what we know of love, we learn at home. That goes for your kids too. They’re learning love from how you treat your spouse. (CDW)
• When arguing remember to talk with “I” statements, not “you”: “’I feel upset when you’re away so much,’ not ‘You abandon me every weekend.'” (Kira Newman, gleaned from the Simplemarriage.net article, “How to Be Honest Without Hurting Your Spouse’s Feelings”)
• LOOK for humor to laugh TOGETHER. “A marriage without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs –jolted by every bump in the road.” (Quote by Henry Ward Beecher)
• “God’s Word says we love Him thru the ways we treat and love others. So, how you love your mate reveals the sincerity of your love for God.” (Stephen and Alex Kendrick, from the book, “The Love Dare Day by Day”)
• In marriage, here’s a great goal: “Laugh more, gripe less, and be found guilty of giving too much love, grace and mercy rather than too little.” (Dennis Rainey, gleaned from the Familylife.com article, “40 Lessons From 40 Years of Marriage”)
• Your spouse wants to know that he/she has a significant place in your plans and schedule. Don’t push him/her to the bottom of your to-do list.
• Do you REALLY want to be heard? “The words you use, your volume, and how you use sarcasm and humor all change how she [he] hears what you say.” (Paul Byerly, gleaned from The-generous-husband.com article, “Helping Her Grow Up —The Talk” —pronouns were changed for quote)
• Look for things you appreciate about your spouse. Make a point of thanking him or her whenever it’s possible (sometimes in front of others).
• “The water you give to your wife or husband will help to bring about the fruits your will bear!” (Unknown)
• “Even if you’re tired, try to find at least a few extra moments to look into your mate’s eyes and talk about what was important in your day.” (Marriage Partnership Magazine tip – Winter 2004)
• “Marriage is like nature. The difference between a beautiful garden and a thorny wilderness is that one is tended, while the other is not.” (From Tolovehonorandvacuum.com)
• “Patience is called for in marriage—not just because your spouse benefits, but because it’s God’s nature to be ‘compassionate and gracious.’” (Stephen and Alex Kendrick, from book, “The Love Dare Day by Day”)
• In your marriage PLEASE: Focus on listening! “Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance” (Prov. 1:5). (Dr David Stoop, from his online article, “The Perils of Giving Advice – To Your Wife”)
• “If you’re considering a ministry or career move, ask yourselves and God, ‘How does this work for us together?” If it doesn’t, don’t do it.”
• In your marriage: “Keep your fighting away from your kids —unless you model how to resolve it (in healthy ways) in front of them.” (Les and Leslie Parrott)
• “By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35). Are you loving your spouse well?
• When you’re tempted to focus on your spouses negative traits “remind yourself of your own weaknesses and how Christ has forgiven you. (OUCH!)” (Marie Osborne, from the Crosswalk.com article, “Friends Help Friends Stay Happily Married”)
• Even though we live together in marriage, it doesn’t mean we should be less courteous or encouraging to our spouse than we are to others. (CDW)
• “If things are bad on the job, make sure things are good at home and vice versa. It’s not good if neither are going well the same time.” (From the Elevateyourmarriage.com article, “4 Ways to Keep Work Stress Out of Your Marriage”)
• “Every night, share one success of the day, one worry of the day, and one prayer request for an upcoming decision/project.” -Sheila Wray Gregoire
• “Love is best when God is 1st. The closer you get to Him, the more you’ll be like Him and passionately love your mate like He does.” (Stephen and Alex Kendrick, from the book, “The Love Dare Day by Day”)
• “You’ve got the power to do your part to make your marriage spectacular; don’t permit yourself to make it anything less than that.” (Quote by Dr Scott Haltzman)
• Before you speak, ask yourself: “Do I have good motives? Is my reason for saying it beneficial to my spouse or only for selfish purposes?” (Mark Merrill, from the Happywivesclub.com article, “5 Ways to Filter What You Say to Your Spouse”)
• When arguing with your spouse: “Avoid expressing contempt by rolling your eyes or being sarcastic —it’s toxic to your relationship.” (Drs Les and Leslie Parrott)
• “Probably the reason we go so haywire at Christmas with unrestrained buying of gifts is that we don’t know how to put our love into words.” (Harlan Miller)
• “Marriage: Love is the reason. Lifelong friendship is the gift. Kindness is the cause. Til’ death do us part is the length.” -Fawn Weaver
• “If we’re careful to guard what we say and do with the goal of remembering the Lord we belong to, the love in our marriages will be blessed.” (April Motl, from the Crosswalk.com article, “I am My Beloved’s and My Beloved is Mine”)
• “You’ve heard this one before, but it’s always worth remembering. We should always honor our spouse whether they’re present or not.” (Mark Merrill, from the Happywivesclub.com article, “5 Ways to Filter What You Say to Your Spouse”)
• “Instead of seeing marriage as a place to get all your needs met, view your relationship as a place where you can learn to give generously.” (Dr Scott Haltzman)
• “Be discerning. Realize when the ‘back and forth’ with your mate isn’t helping matters. Reassess the situation and try a different approach.” (Quote from the ministry of Marriage Works!)
• When is the last time you flirted with your spouse? Bring back the spark! Try it when you’re out somewhere together and even when you’re home.
• “Marriage is something more than personal —it is a status, an office that joins you together in the sight of God.” -Deitrich Bonhoeffer (From a wedding sermon he wrote while he was in prison, but was never able to deliver it in person)
• “Use anniversaries or other special times to discuss relationship goals for the year. Then make sure you celebrate achievements.” (Pat Love)
• “The greatest expression of love is time, and the greatest time to love is now, because you may not have that opportunity tomorrow.” (Rick Warren, Pastor of Saddleback Church)
• “The couple who prays together —stays together.” -Unknown
• “You cannot pry your mate’s heart open when it’s shut. But you can pray for his/her heart to be softened as a result of God’s love and grace.” (From ministry of Marriage Works!)
• Poor timing and careless use of humor and sarcasm with a spouse who doesn’t appreciate it, is like throwing oil on fire. It causes explosions. (CDW)
• “Good disciples of Christ also tend to make good spouses. Walking with God is better than a thousand marriage books or counseling sessions.” (Stephen and Alex Kendrick, from book, “The Love Dare Day by Day”)
• “Practice Generosity. Give without expectation …or kiss your sweetie 10 seconds instead of 2. It’s little things that matter most.” (Lori Byerly from the Happywivesclub.com article, “7 Marriage Practices Worth Perfecting”)
• Find a couple who has been successfully married a long time and “mirror their marriage.” Ask them for tips that can help you in your marriage. (CDW)
• “Each day think about 1 thing you’ll do to make more time together. Once that thing becomes a priority you’ll give it the time it requires.” (Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, from the book, “Your Time-Starved Marriage”)
• When we give into the impulse to say contemptuous words, it’s as if we throw acidic poison at our spouse. It eats away at our relationship. (CDW)
• When confronting your spouse: “Ask for honesty in return. This is one of the most crucial and hardest parts of having honest conversations.” (Kira Newman, gleaned from the Simplemarriage.net article, “How to Be Honest Without Hurting Your Spouse’s Feelings”)
• “God says a husband and wife have been made into one flesh. If we take God seriously then we must approach our marriage as a team.” (Amy Allen, from the Aredeemedmarriage.com article, “The Best Tool for Restoring Relationships)
• “Just think… if it weren’t for marriage many men and women would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.” (Unknown)
• Remember: “slander no one, be peaceable and considerate, and show true humility toward all men (Titus 3:2). This includes your spouse. (CDW)
• “Set boundaries with everyone outside your marriage to make it clear that your spouse’s interests are a higher priority than anyone else’s.” (Whitney Hopler, from the Crosswalk.com article, “How to Negotiate with Your Spouse so You Both Win”)
• “If you’ve ever had any problems in your marriage, and overcome them; be open to God using you to help other people overcome theirs.” (Quote from the ministry of Marriage Works!)
• Great advice for spouses: “Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.” -Proverbs 19:11 (NLT)
• “Those living in fellowship with Christ are able to access His toolbox for marriage. His Word will nourish & equip you for every good work.” (Stephen and Alex Kendrick, from book, “The Love Dare Day by Day”)
• “Remember, a 35-year marriage does not guarantee a year number 36. Take nothing for granted just because you have it today.” (Jim Smoke)
• “Practice Listening. Ask a question. Listen. Ask another question.” By listening with interest you’ll better know your spouse. (Quote from Lori Byerly from the Happywivesclub.com article, “7 Marriage Practices Worth Perfecting”)
• “Fight fair; you can’t take back hurtful words. Don’t share your spouse’s faults with your family. You’ll soon forgive; they may not.” (Posted on Engagedmarriage.com)
• The happiest couples in marriage are realistic in their expectations. Don’t fuel resentment by expecting more than your spouse can give. (CDW)
• “Don’t deprive one another of sex unless you BOTH agree to it. Otherwise, the enemy can prey on your physical appetites.” (1 Cor. 7:2-5) (Quote from ministry of Marriage Works!)
• “Love is an act of will, both an intention and an action.” “Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” (1 John 3:18)
• “The remedy for rudeness around your house is basic: make a deliberate decision to treat your mate the way you’d most like to be treated.” (Stephen and Alex Kendrick, from “The Love Dare Day-by-Day… A Year of Devotions for Couples”)
• “Provide support for your spouse during his/her stressful times —even if it’s only a hug, smile, or encouraging word.” –Marriage Works!
• What difference will the things you’re fighting about make in the light of eternity? Are they TRULY important? If not, release them to God.
• “Life can wear you down and wear you out. Disappointment chips away at faith. As a couple, you have to work to get to the finish line.” (Dennis Rainey, gleaned from the Familylife.com article, “40 Lessons From 40 Years of Marriage”)
• We’re told in the Bible that, “a gentle answer turns away wrath.” Keep in mind that “you can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.” (Emerson Eggerichs)
• “Pray: For your marriage, often… Pray for your spouse, even more often…. Pray for your friends’ marriages. Be dedicated and intentional!” (Marie Osborne, gleaned from the Crosswalk.com article, “Friends Help Friends Stay Happily Married”)
• “The single best day in every marriage is when two partners take responsibility for their part of the pie.” (Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott)
• “Make it a goal as a couple to have a model marriage to others. Not perfect, but one that models God’s love.” (Marriage Works!)
• “If you think you’re ‘winning’ an argument—consider: how is it a winning situation if in order for you to win, your spouse has to lose?” (Dr Phil)
• “It’s important to share romantic times with your spouse, but even greater is appreciating and loving them even when you don’t FEEL romantic.” (Randy Carlson)
• “Marriage is the place where we get to live out God’s commands for serving, accepting, encouraging, forgiving and submitting to one another.” (Gary Kinnaman with Annette LaPlaca, in the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “What’s Wrong with Happiness?”)
• “Successful families are made up of encouragers—of ‘diamond hunters.’ They dig thru the rough looking for the good in each other.'” (Researcher Nick Stinnett)
• “When you talk about your spouse, choose your words carefully. Do you ‘share’ embarrassing things he/she would rather keep private?” (Marie Osborne, gleaned from the Crosswalk.com article, “Friends Help Friends Stay Happily Married”)
• “You are sexually pure when no sexual gratification comes from anyone or anything but your spouse.” (Steve Arterburn)
• Even if our spouse says or does something we find offensive, that doesn’t give us the pay back right to say or do that which is wrong. (CDW)
• “Marriage is more than hearts and chocolate, and romance isn’t just for Valentine’s Day —it’s for every day.” Love as God does in word and deed. (Quote from Growthtrac email)
• “Marriage works when spouses remember: they’re 2 sinners living together in a state of grace. It stops working when either of them forgets.” (Dave Boehi, from the Familylife.com article, “Me! Me! Me!”)
• In your marriage, protect each other from ‘hurry sickness.’ If needed, make a point of strategizing together how to slow down your pace.
• “In marriage you cannot NOT communicate. Everything you do and don’t do, say and don’t say, communicates.” -Corey (From Simplemarriage.net article, “Communicate to a Better Marriage”)
• “Listen. The most important part of communicating doesn’t involve speaking; it’s listening. Your spouse wants to be heard.” (Brent Rinehart, from the Crosswalk.com article, “7 Words That Will Change Our Marriages”)
• “Water your relationship a few minutes each week and it will thrive (rather than just ‘getting along’). If you don’t water it, it will die.” (Todd Sellick)
• Laughter is like taking an “instant vacation.” Look for ways to take lots of laughter vacations together with your spouse—starting today.
• “Let your conversation be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone” [spouse included] (Colossians 4:6)
• “Love does not die easily. It is a living thing. It thrives in the face of all life’s hazards, save one —neglect.” (James Bryden)
• “Words of accusation may come quickly to your lips. But love gets in the habit of swallowing them down before they add insult to injury.” (Stephen and Alex Kendrick, from “The Love Dare Day-by-Day… A Year of Devotions for Couples”)
• “It’s easy to pull at the fabric of our oneness with our words.” Just because you WANT to bark out harsh words, it doesn’t mean you should. (Quote by April Motl, from the Crosswalk.com article, “I am My Beloved’s and My Beloved is Mine”)
• “Your spouse needs to know that when you speak with friends or family, the words you use to describe them will be positive and honoring.” (Stephen and Alex Kendrick, from “The Love Dare Day-by-Day… A Year of Devotions for Couples”)
• Remember to pray for your spouse. “Prayer is the greatest of all forces, because it honors God and brings Him into active aid.” (E.M. Bounds)
• “We need to hear words of love and affirmations from our spouses. So become your spouse’s cheerleader.” Look for ways to encourage. (From the book, “Intimacy on the Run” by Jeannette and Robert Lauer)
• Words said in haste can come back to bite you. “The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of judgment.” -Proverbs 10:21
• Consider: “Even if you are right, and she [or he] is wrong, does that mean God has appointed you to be the one to correct her [or him]?” (Paul Byerly from The Generous Husband ministry)
• “Marriage isn’t the act of choosing the one we’ll receive forever. It’s selecting the one we’ll give to for a lifetime.” (Steve and Annie Chapman)
• “Never think that you are doing your children a favor by prioritizing them over your spouse.” (from Tolovehonorandvacuum.com)
• “It’s said that a successful marriage consists of 3 people: husband, wife and God. Involve Him more, even in the so-called ‘little things.’” (Brent Rinehart, from the Crosswalk.com article, “7 Words That Will Change Our Marriages”)
• “Don’t listen to a person who is negative and tears down your spouse’s character. Find role models who look for the best in others.” (Madeline West, who left this comment on Facebook page 12/12/2013)
• “Communication is the lifeline between two people.” “No matter what your communication bent, marriage forces you to bring the inside out.” (Debra Fileta, from the Crosswalk.com article, 10 Secrets You Should Know About Marriage”)
• “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.” (1 Peter 3:9)
• “Don’t let another day go by where the health of your relationship is sacrificed for a false sense of peace.” -Theromanticvineyard.com
• Each of us yearns to hear words of love and affirmation. Make it a point to be your spouse’s cheerleader. Lavishly show love to your spouse. (CDW)
• “Having a good, solid marriage is something that can make others believe that God DOES make a difference, and that lifetime love is possible.” (Tolovehonorvacuum.com article, “People are Watching Your Marriage”)
• True love aims at unity. “Never let the problem to be solved become more important than the person to be loved” (Barbara Johnson).
• “A fast way to diffuse tension and disagreement in marriage is to master the art of apology. Take ownership for things you’ve done wrong.” (Debra Fileta, gleaned from the Truelovedaates.com article, “10 Things You Need to Talk About Before You Get Married)
• “We judge ourselves by our intentions. We judge our spouses by their actions. No wonder we think we’re better!” – Anne Moodie
• “You’ll be more successful at building your marriage when you and your spouse start working together instead of trying to place blame.” (Quote from the ministry of Marriage Works!)
• “They say it takes a village to raise a child, but the truth is that it takes a lot of stable marriages to create a village.” -Diane Sollee
• “Our lives should be more than just focusing on our marriage but on focusing our marriage toward what God’s mission is for us as a couple.” (Francis Chan)
• Do whatever you can to “avoid every temptation to run your spouse down when you’re speaking with others.” (Stephen and Alex Kendrick, from “The Love Dare Day-by-Day… A Year of Devotions for Couples”)
• “A mutually rewarding sexual relationship demands that both husband and wife deny ‘self’ and meet their mate’s needs.” (Dennis Rainey)
• There isn’t a special clause written in the Bible giving us the right to spout off “corrupt talk” towards our spouse (See: Eph. 4:29-32). (CDW)
• “Talking in front of your spouse to someone else about your partner’s good points is romantic. Take full advantage of the opportunity.” (Nancy Wasson, from the Marriageadvice.com article, “Ten Ways to Add Romance to Your Marriage”)
• “Hold hands when you argue. It forces you into a less combative posture and reminds you that you’re together in even this conflict.” (April Motl, from the Crosswalk.com article, “I am My Beloved’s and My Beloved is Mine”)
• “Encourage each other to pursue God-given dreams, and figure out a plan to support each other in practical ways as you do so.” (Whitney Hopler, from the Crosswalk.com article, “How to Give Your Marriage a Makeover in Only 10 Days”)
• “Make a commitment to yourself and your friends that you’ll speak well of your spouse always, in all circumstances, or say nothing at all.” (Marie Osborne, from the Crosswalk.com article, “Friends Help Friends Stay Happily Married”)
• “Conflicts are not a sign you’ve married the wrong person. They simply affirm you are human.” -Dr Gary Chapman
• “Nowhere in the Bible does it say that we should wait for someone else to do the right thing before we do the right thing.” (Quote from To Love, Honor, and Vacuum)
• “Safe-guard your marriage. If you take care of how things look, you’ll end up taking care of how things are.” -Jerry Jenkins
• “If you made a list of reasons why couples got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you’d have a lot of overlapping.” (Mignon McLaughlin)
• “God disciples of Christ also tend to make good spouses. Your role as husband or wife is enhanced by being a faithful and growing Christian.” (Stephen and Alex Kendrick, from the book, “The Love Dare Day by Day”)
• “Before marriage keep your eyes wide open, then after marriage keep them half closed.”
• “Tips from Veteran Couples: 1. Under-communicate criticism. Over-communicate praise. 2. Make your body language and your words match.” (Posted on Engagedmarriage.com)
• “When you feel burdened by your [spouse’s] weakness, ask the Lord to give you a reminder of your own weakness so you respond with grace.” (April Motl, from the Crosswalk.com blog, “The Power of Words in Your Marriage”)
• “Look for reasons to express your gratitude towards your spouse. Write it down daily, because gratitude is a matter of practice.” (Kim Hall from Happywivesclub.com article: “One Simple Idea That Makes Every Marriage Better”)
• If both spouses strive to “seek the Light” rather than strive to be “right”, a lot of our marital problems will resolve themselves.
• “Christ’s strength and glory does not shine through our perfection but thru showing each other His grace in the midst of our disappointment.” (Dr. Juli Slattery, from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “Scratch-and-Dent Marriage”)
• “The strength of your marriage depends on the choices you make to improve it.” (Doug Fields in his book, Creative Romance)
• “Work together to assist people God leads you to help. This doubles your impact for good and makes you happier as you make others happier.” (Whitney Hopler, from the Crosswalk.com article, “How to Enjoy a Happily Ever After Marriage”)
• “God-honoring sex is not dirty. But it IS flirty” with your own spouse! (from Hotholyhumorous.com)
• “Put a couple together doing something for someone else and you’ll see a marriage full of joy that is contagious.” (Debi Walter, from Theromanticvineyard.com)
• “What if your love is dead? If you have a covenantal death of your marriage, pray for a resurrection. All things are possible in Christ.” (Dr Tony Evans)
• “James 2:13 tells us, “Mercy triumphs over judgment.” We all could use a dose of mercy. Your [spouse] needs God’s mercy through you today.” (April Motl, from the Crosswalk.com blog, “The Power of Words in Your Marriage”)
• “Ask the Lord to put a ‘governor’ on your tongue today, to enable you to speak only words that reflect the heart of Christ.” (Nancy Leigh DeMoss, from the April 19 devotional page in the book, “The Quiet Place”)
• “Affluenza” is killing many families. Sometimes “downsizing” your stuff is the best way to provide for your family’s care. -Dr. Steve Ferrar
• “Love calls you to protect your spouse’s reputation. Unless they’re injuring you, themselves or others, you need to guard their honor.” (Stephen and Alex Kendrick, from “The Love Dare Day-by-Day… A Year of Devotions for Couples”)
• “A child-centered marriage is a recipe for disaster. Teach children early that their ‘happiness’ is not Mom or Dad’s reason for living.” (Terry)
• In your marriage relationship remember: “The first 4 minutes you’re with someone can set the tone for how the rest of the day will go.”
• “When I have learned to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now.” -C. S. Lewis
• “The best time to love with your whole heart is always now, this moment, because no breath beyond the current is promised.” -Fawn Weaver
• “There are 2 hindrances to good communication that must be overcome: the bad habit of lazy listening and hasty speaking.” See: James 1:19 (John Lavendar)
• “Change yourself to change your marriage. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you how YOU should change so your marriage will improve.” (Whitney Hopler, from the Crosswalk.com article, “How to Give Your Marriage a Makeover in Only 10 Days”)
• “Enjoy the 80% you really enjoy about your spouse and ask God to show you how to live with the rest and not to focus on it.” – Jim Elliot
• As a marriage partner: “Put your brain in gear before putting your mouth in motion. Wait until the right time to say what you need to say.” (Debi Walter, from Theromanticvineyard.com article, “Sowing Seeds of Wisdom)
• “Stay Spiritually Healthy. Beyond just going to church, keeping Christ in the marriage is essential to staying healthy and connected.” -Edward (From the elevateyourmarriage.com article, “11 Tips to Avoid a Mid-Marriage Crisis”)
• “Count your blessings. Gratitude for the gifts God brings that you and your spouse share will strengthen your relationship with each other.” (Whitney Hopler, gleaned from the Crosswalk.com article, “How to Enjoy a Happily Ever After Marriage”)
• “When you’re talking about your spouse with friends, family or co-workers, use words that affirm your love and affection of him [or her].” (April Motl from the Crosswalk.com blog, “The Power of Words in Your Marriage”)
• Remember: “A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man [or woman] quietly holds it back.” (Proverbs 29:11)
• “Giving a sincere apology is essential to relationship maintenance.”
• When you increase the positive behaviors in your marital relationship, the results are that you crowd out the negative.
• “Never leave the house without a passionate kiss for your sweetheart…giving a little passion to remember you by for the rest of the day.” (Beth Young, from the Marriageadvice.com article “The Crimes We Commit Against Our Marriages”)
• “Marriages don’t collapse overnight. They become bankrupt gradually because they lack daily deposits of love, communication and affirmation.” (From the book, “Creative Romance” by Doug Fields)
• Don’t speak vindictively to your spouse: “If you feel the need to ‘vent’ tell the Lord what’s on your mind, rather than blurting it out.” (Nancy Leigh DeMoss: April 19 devotional page in the book, “The Quiet Place”)
• “When you surrender the need to change your partner’s ‘faults,’ the things that irritate you can become the things that endear you to them.” (Adapted from Dr Les and Leslie Parrott’s quote: “When you surrender your need to change your partner’s ‘faults,’ the things that irritate you actually have a chance for becoming the things that endear you to them.”)
• With your spouse, find ways to “laugh a lot together. Study your spouse’s funny bone—find out what makes him or her laugh and use that daily.” (Les and Leslie Parrott, from Marriage Partnership article, “Get Closer”)
• “God has given you a mirror called your spouse. If a card was attached, it would say, ‘this is to help you discover what you’re really like!'” (Adapted from the quote: “God has given you mirror called your spouse. If a card was attached, it would say, ‘This is to help you discover what you’re really like!'” –by Gary and Betsy Ricucci)
• If relevant and possible: Trade turns with your spouse with your kids in the evening so you both have times with the kids and without them.
• “Humility yields the right to be right” -Jamie Stirling. Love “does not insist on its own way…is not irritable or resentful.” -1 Cor. 13:5
• “In your anger do not sin.” (1 Peter 2:11) Bitterness, rage, slander, and every form of malice (ESPECIALLY directed at your spouse) is sin. (CDW)
• “An important step towards maturity is learning to accept and even ask for corrective feedback in your marriage, and other areas of life.” (Dr. Juli Slattery, in the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “We’re All a Hot Mess”)
• “Give kissing some special consideration. Don’t take it for granted” and don’t take each other for granted. KISS your spouse and kiss some more! (Quote from Les and Leslie Parrott – From emailed devotional sent 2/19/2014)
• Saying your vows to God and each other on your wedding day is one thing–living them out when life gets tough is another. Be a promise-keeper!
• Today: “Pray that your spouse will not be overwhelmed by the stress of life, and will relax and find contentment in all he (or she) does.” (Karen O’Connor from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “The Prayers that Changed Husbands”)
• Blessed is the home where “seldom is heard a discouraging word.” Are you acting like a discourager or an encourager in your marriage?
• “Want your husband to talk more? Men like to communicate side-by-side. Women like to communicate face-to-face. Try doing things together.” (Sheila Wray Gregoire, from the Tolovehonorandvacuum.com article, “Reader Question: My Husband Doesn’t Spend Any Time With Me”)
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