When you have fought with your spouse remember: “Anytime we reconcile… it’s a picture of what God wants to do with man.” (Author unknown)
“If you want real depth in your marriage, you need to learn to talk with each other spiritually.” ~ David Clarke (From the book: “A Marriage After God’s Own Heart”)
“True love doesn’t happen by accident. It’s deliberate, it’s intentional, it’s purposeful and in the end its worth it.” –Darlene Schacht
The above marriage tips were a few of the quotes that Marriage Missions International individually sent out and then posted on our Twitter site to help marriages. Below you can find more, which can still be used in a variety of ways:
• A church, ministry, counseling organization, or an individual can use them to share, if desired.
• They can be used as points of discussion in marriage classes, mentoring, counseling, or coaching situations.
• Couples or individuals can use these quotes to discuss or consider the issues raised, allowing the Holy Spirit, our Wonderful Counselor, to speak further to them.
They make great discussion points for those couples who want to use them for conversation starters for a 22 Minute Date. Just make sure, if you use these quotes in a dating situation, you don’t get into heated arguments over them.
The point in sharing these marriage tips is to build marital relationship bridges, not construct walls of contention, causing a breakdown of communication. You can constructively disagree with these tips and with each other, and still learn more about each other and grow closer together, in the process.
It is our sincere hope that the tips below will help marriages. As you read them, consider:
1. Do you agree or disagree? Why or why not?
2. Do you have further thoughts on the issue, to apply personally or as a general rule? (If you’re reading them with someone else, please share.)
3. Do any scriptures come to mind, which apply to the marriage tip given? (If possible, please share.)
With that said, the following are quotes to note for your use (each quote stands on its own —for your knowledge, the original sources are noted afterward in parenthesis):
• “Ask your man [wife] what 3 things are important to him [her] this holiday season. If at all possible make room for those things.” (Lori Byerly)
• A marriage is a like a house. When a light bulb goes out, you do not go and buy a new house, you fix the light bulb. –Happywivesclub.com
• “Real love is when you’re completely committed to someone even when they are being completely unlovable.” –Dave Willis
• “Great marriages are contagious, if you want a great marriage, surround yourself with couples who have one.” –Mark and Laquilla Lane
• In your marital relationship: “ENCOURAGE each other. Build each other up so much that nothing in the world can tear you down.” –Dave Willis
• “Extend grace. Your spouse will fail you -a given with imperfect people. But to forgive and love in spite of the failures is priceless.” (From Hot, Holy and Humorous)
• “Behind every case of marital dissatisfaction lies unrepented sin. Couples don’t fall out of love so much as they fall out of repentance.” (Gary Thomas, from the book, “Sacred Marriage”)
• “Use humor, but use it carefully. Remember, there’s a difference between being light-hearted and making a joke that may hurt your spouse.” (Nancy B. Peterson)
• Thanksgiving breaks the power of the enemy of our faith. Focus on gratitude and your attitude will change and often times so will your problems.
• Making continual choices to find ways to show your spouse that you treasure him or her can light up a home like nothing else.
• “Be wise! The tongue, like fire, is an instrument that can be used for good OR evil. Once a word leaves your lips, you can’t get it back.” (From book, “Marriage: Clues for the Clueless)
• “No matter how you started out, God can re-write your marriage story and give you an ending you never thought possible.” Ngina Otiende
• “A key to success in marriage is to help your spouse enjoy being married to you, and to do so continually.” (From Smartmarriages.com)
• Thanksgiving breaks the power of the enemy of our faith. Focus on gratitude and your attitude will change and many times so will your problems.
• “Give thanks not just on Thanksgiving Day, but every day. Appreciate and never take for granted all that you have” through Christ Jesus. (Quote by Catherine Pulsifer)
• May your Thanksgiving Day and marriage be blessed! Remember: “There is always, always, always something to be thankful for!”
• “Love asks for not just a little, or for a lot, but for everything. Unless one gives everything, one is not really in love.” (Mike Mason)
• “The miraculous glue of having fun together is what strengthens the bond needed for the other moments of tension. It’s an investment!” (Kelli B. Trujillo, from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “Parenting and the Marriage Mess”)
• “At least once a day, try to say something complimentary to your spouse.” …”Gentle words bring life and health…” Proverbs 15:4. (Steve Arterburn)
• When you don’t FEEL in love remember: “Feelings change: Commitments shouldn’t. …We must take every angry thought captive to Christ.” (Author unknown)
• “Marriage is the fire that family gathers around. The key is to never let it go out.” (Emily T. Wierenga)
• In your marriage relationship: “The best diet you can sometimes go on is the one that consists of swallowing your pride.”
• It’s vital to “cultivate not just the love in your marriage, but also your friendship with your spouse as you grow older together.” (Lori Lowe)
• “It’s important not only to show your kindness to the world, but also to each other, within your marriage.” -Lilo and Gerard Leeds
“Criticizing your wife [or your husband] in front of others, even in jest, is always a bad idea. Always.” (Jim Killam)
• In your marital finances, realize that “credit card debt is a monster. Don’t fall for it, even for the short term.” -Jim Killam
• “Sulking. Pouting. Shutting your spouse out. It’s a lame attempt to punish and it’s more toxic than you might imagine.” Don’t do it! (Drs Les and Leslie Parrott)
• “If the grass looks greener somewhere else, it’s time to water your own yard. Invest in the marriage that God has given you.” (Craig and Amy Groeschel, from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “Baby, Loving You is Fun)
• “Marriage provides a daily opportunity to follow God’s example in how to treat your spouse as you love and give up yourself in service.” (Kelli B. Trujillo)
• “Ask yourself if you’re spending more time criticizing your spouse for his (or her) baggage than you are dealing with your own.” –Ron Welch (Gleaned from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “Confessions of a Controlling Husband”)
• “Don’t keep financial secrets from each other. They don’t remain secret. + Live on less than you make. Swim against the tide.” -Jim Killam
• “Body language, facial expressions and our attitudes contribute as much to communicating our thoughts and feelings as the sentences we speak.” (Lilo and Gerard Leeds)
• “Having fun together shores up those good feelings you have toward each other to help you get through the hard times.” -Lilo and Gerard Leeds
• “A happy marriage is a long conversation, which always seems too short.” –Andre Maurois
• “Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.” (Prov. 19:11) “Be blind—at least to petty offenses.” (Drs Les and Leslie Parrott)
• In your marriage, “be flexible about each other’s habits and temperament. Everyone has some quirks.” -Lilo and Gerard Leeds
• “When we feel less connected to our spouse, we need to lean into our spouses during this time, more than any other.” -Ashley Willis (From the Patheos.com article, “5 Ways to Reconnect With Your Spouse”)
• “You WILL change, so, fall in love over and over again. Always fight to win your spouse’s love just as you did when you were courting.” (Gerald Rogers)
• “Marriage is a promise—one you are to keep even when you don’t feel it—one you believe in and trust God to bless and strengthen with love.” (Emily T. Wierenga, gleaned from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “How to Stay Married in a World Full of Divorce”)
• “Don’t, absolutely don’t, reserve all your joy, smiles and energy for your kids—leave some for your spouse too!” (Kelli B. Trujillo, from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “Parenting and the Marriage Mess”)
• He who answers before listening—that is his folly and his shame. (Prov. 18:13) The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge. (Prov. 18:15)
• Don’t overlook small marital affections. No matter how “busy life is, your spouse deserves a good-morning kiss… and every kiss counts.” (Elizabeth L. Thompson, gleaned from the Tolovehonorandvacuum.com article, “What My Two Year Old Taught Me About Marriage”)
• “Don’t do anything in public OR in private that you wouldn’t want your marriage partner to see or know about.” –Lilo and Gerard Leeds
• “Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.” (Unknown) Remember: YOU are the “someone” who vowed to show love to your spouse.
• “Our lives should be more than just focusing on our marriage but on focusing our marriage toward what God’s mission is for us as a couple.” (Francis Chan)
• “Those who compare themselves against themselves are not wise. Find what works for your marriage and ‘work it!’” –Fawn Weaver
• “The moment your spouse feels understood, they become more motivated to understand your point of view.” –Les and Leslie Parrott
• “Strive to give your spouse the very best of yourself; not what’s left over after you’ve given your best to everyone else.” –Dave Willis
• “Remember simple acts of daily physical affection. Don’t underestimate the power of hugs and kisses to keep you connected and close.” (Elizabeth L Thompson -Gleaned from the Tolovehonorandvacuum.com article, “What My Two Year Old Taught Me About Marriage”)
• If you don’t have a good human role model to follow in marriage, apply yourself to learn from Christ, and in ALL ways, BECOME a role model.
• Give your marriage the highest priority next to your relationship with God… realizing that this also involves your relationship with God.
• Give your spouse a blessing. “Notice what you like about your marriage partner, and let him or her know.” –Lilo and Gerard Leeds
• “When we commit to opening our minds to see life from our spouse’s point of view, we gain empathy and can offer forgiveness much more easily.” (Gary and Carrie Oliver, from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “The 3 Most Important Choices”)
• “Finding relationship solutions is not about assessing blame. It’s not about winning or losing. It’s about making your marriage better.” (Whitman and Bartlett, The Marriage Mender)
• “In a world increasingly averse to commitment, marriage gives witness to the love and sacrifice of a committed God.” It’s a serious mission! (Sharon Hodde Miller, gleaned from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “Married… to My Church?”)
• “Focus on what you both have in common, not on what divides you, what you admire in each other, not what you might want to criticize.” (Lilo and Gerard Leeds)
• Pro-actively “combat wrong attitudes by taking captive each bitter thought you have toward your spouse, evaluate them and let them go.” (Kim Harms)
• “As you slip between the sheets take a moment to inventory your sex life and if need be, get intentional about how to make it better.” Les and Leslie Parrott)
• “BE SILLY… don’t take yourself so seriously. Laugh. And make your spouse laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.” (Gerald Rogers)
• “You don’t HAVE a great marriage, you BUILD one —brick by brick, and skill by skill.” Are you building up, or tearing down your marriage? (Quote by Lilo and Gerard Leeds)
• “If we want to Love, we must learn how to forgive.” (Mother Teresa) “…Forgive each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Eph. 4:32)
• Infusing a little humor and fun into your everyday lives together may be your best path to restoring, or revitalizing your marriage.
• “My spouse’s ‘speck’ is not my business, but MY speck or ‘plank’ definitely IS!” For clarity, see: Matthew 7:3-5. Be a “self-inspector.” (Quote from Beth Steffaniak)
• “The 1st to apologize is the bravest. The 1st to forgive is the strongest. The 1st to forget is the happiest.” (Happywivesclub.com)
• “Married couples should think in terms of emotionally connecting with each other even more than communicating.” (Based on quote by Nick Vujicic)
• “Shared activity is one of the supreme gifts of married life, and it’s an insurance policy against the fading of passion and intimacy.” –Les and Leslie Parrott
• “For all the ways that marriage blesses us, God gave us marriage to better serve and glorify him. Marriage commitment matters.” (Sharon Miller, gleaned from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “Married… to My Church?”)
• “A great marriage doesn’t happen because of the love you had in the beginning, but how well you continue building love until the end.” (Unknown)
• “Real love is when you are completely committed to someone even when they are being completely unlovable.” -Dave Willis
• “Apologizing doesn’t always mean you’re wrong and the other person is right. It just means you value your relationship more than your ego.” (Unknown)
• “Love is not blind it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it’s willing to see less.” -Julins Gordon
• “A good marriage is each for the other and two against the world.” (Robert Brault) Are you a good, godly partner to your spouse?
• “The covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church shines brightest in marriage when nothing but Christ can sustain it.” -John Piper (Gleaned from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “When Love Didn’t Give Up’ written by Margot Starbuck)
• “The 1st duty of love is to listen.” (Paul Tillich) “Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge” (Proverbs 23:12).
• When fighting: “take it private and keep it private. Whatever you’re fighting about it’s between you and your spouse. Keep it that way.” (Dr. Phil)
• “Finding solutions isn’t about assessing blame. It’s not about winning or losing. It’s about making your marriage better.” (Whiteman and Bartlett)
• “Fun in marriage isn’t something you merely tack on to your relationship as an extra; it’s integral to the health of your marriage.” –Steve Arterburn
• “Marriage isn’t just about becoming happier—it’s about becoming better. But in becoming better, we often find we’ve also become happier.” –Debra Fileta
• “Love isn’t what you feel, it’s what you do consistently over time.” (Matthew L Jacobson) Read 1 Cor. 13:4-7 and you’ll see that it’s true.
• Never behave in a way that gives your spouse any reason to doubt your loyalty. “Being faithful is an attitude as much as an action.” (Quote by Lilo and Gerard Leeds)
• Within your marriage, “making sure that hurts are dealt with quickly through apologizing, ensures a softer heart!” –Beth Steffaniak
• “Get married. Stay married. What a concept.” (Unknown) It’s a concept God wants you to commit to once you marry and say “I do.”
• “Edit yourself: Couples who avoid saying every angry thought when discussing touchy topics are the happiest.” (Marriage for Life)
• Just because you marry, you don’t have a license to take each other for granted. Hug, kiss, share, show you care and say “I love you” OFTEN. (Cindy Wright)
• “Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing.” (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe) REAL love is “patient, kind…” as told in 1 Cor. 13:4-7.
• “If we treat our spouses the way we’d like to be treated, we’ll avoid many of the selfish actions that threaten our marriages.” (Whiteman and Bartlett – The Marriage Mender)
• “The beauty of sex within the framework of a God-honoring marriage is that there’s a love present that points to the love of Jesus Christ.” –Debra Fileta
• “Marriage partners are not made in heaven but are a product of on the job training.” (Frank Pitman)
• All arguments can become doorways to intimacy when you work to come up with solutions that satisfy both of you. – Gary Oliver
• “Marriage ultimately, is the practice of becoming passionate friends.” (Harville Hendrix) Do what you can to make it and keep it that way.
• “A married couple needs to lovingly, humbly, and kindly speak the truth in love so they grow to be more like Jesus Christ.” (Mark and Grace Driscoll)
• “The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think TOGETHER.” –Robert C Dodds
• “Behind every case of marital dissatisfaction lies unrepented sin. Couples don’t fall out of love so much as they fall out of repentance.” (Gary Thomas – Sacred Marriage)
• “Habits that cannot be changed can often be worked around. Using separate tubes of toothpaste is far easier than fighting about the caps.” (Lilo and Gerard Leeds)
• “A spouse who only showers you with praise, never disagrees with you, avoids all conflict is an enabling rather than a sanctifying friend.” (Mark Driscoll)
• “Tickle, tell jokes, make out! Play games, go for a run or whatever it is that makes you and your spouse smile from deep down inside.” (Kelli B. Trujillo, from the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “Parenting and the Marriage Mess”)
• “Mercy and truth have met together, righteousness and peace have kissed” (Psalm 85:10). Question: are they meeting together in your home?
• “A happy marriage is a selfless journey in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” –George and Yvonne Levy
• “Love is what is left in a relationship [particularly a marriage relationship] when the selfishness is taken out.” -Nick Richardson
• “Keep it relevant [when fighting]. Don’t bring up old grudges or sore points when they don’t belong in this argument.” –Dr. Phil
• “Every enduring marriage involves an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person –your spouse.” (Gary and Norma Smalley, It Takes Two to Tango)
• “Laughter’s the best medicine. Laughing together makes it better possible to hurt together when you must.” – Carwin Dover
• “Christians should be the guardians of marriage and the enforcers of the covenant they vowed to keep.” –Tom Neven
• “Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.” –Tom Mullen
• “In marriage, it is never about having my way. It is rather discovering OUR way together.” –Gary Chapman
• “Try to focus on what’s good about the marriage. You’ll find it makes a big difference in your attitudes toward your spouse.” (Whitman and Bartlett, The Marriage Mender)
• “Whatever you feed is that which will grow. Are you feeding bad attitudes, negative emotions and thoughts about your spouse?” (Author Unknown)
“A great marriage isn’t something that just happens; it’s something that must be created.” –Fawn Weaver
• As a follower of Christ, “I must rest in my Lord’s care and conviction of anything my spouse is not doing right.” (Beth Steffaniak of Messymarriage.com)
• “The small day-to-day things you say are more important than any other of the overarching communication issues.” (Clifford Notarius)
• “If we treat our spouses the way we’d like to be treated, we’ll avoid many of the selfish actions that threaten our marriages.” Whiteman and Bartlett – The Marriage Mender)
• “We can choose to fight to the bitter end or to a better end.” Choose your battles wisely. Sometimes it’s better to just let the issue go.
• It’s not a matter of finding the right person –mature love involves being the right person.”-Whitman and Bartlett (The Marriage Mender)
• “Keep it obvious that you two are in love —obvious to each other, and obvious to the rest of the world.” – Anne Ortlund (Building a Great Marriage)
• “Marriage is the joining of two different people for the purpose of our holiness, not necessarily our happiness.” –Debi Walter
• LOL: “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” -Rita Rudner
• “It’s not God-pleasing if you’re so busy helping everyone else that you have no time or energy for your spouse.” (From the book, “Marriage: Clues for the Clueless”) (Woods, Hudson, Dall, Lackland)
• “If an argument gets too heated, take a 20 minute break and agree to approach the topic again when you’re both calm.” (Marriage for Life)
• “True love doesn’t happen by accident. It’s deliberate, it’s intentional, it’s purposeful and in the end…it’s worth it.” –Darlene Schacht
• “The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they’re still alive.” Orlando Battista
• Look for ways to bless your spouse. “If you make your spouse feel special, you increase his or her desire to do the same for you.” (Gary and Norma Smalley, It Takes Two to Tango)
• “Love is no assignment for cowards.” (Ovid) Be brave enough to “walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us.” (Ephesians 5:2)
• “After you’ve said it, you can’t take it back. It may seem like a good idea to say something, but your spouse will hang on to that hurt.” (Dr Phil)
• “The key to close-knit communication is to make conversations ‘safe’—where opinions, feelings, and needs can be treasured and valued.” (Gary and Norma Smalley)
• “Give up on every emotion that doesn’t enhance your life. But never give up on love. It’s always worth the fight.” –Fawn Weaver
• To have a great marriage: “Every couple has to come to the point where they’re broken from going in their own direction.” (Tony Moore)
• “Marriage isn’t intended to produce happiness. It’s a mechanism to produce better people. Conflict is part of the growing up process.” (Corey)
• Think of some task your spouse hates to do. Offer to do it, or spontaneously do it on your own for him or her as an act of love.
• ”Marriage is a mosaic you build with your spouse. Millions of tiny moments that create your love story.” -Jennifer Smith
• “Unresolved anger in your home is more toxic that the radon gas that seeps up from the earth and threatens many houses across the country.” (Gary and Norma Smalley)
• “Become each other’s warrior and defender. Stick up for each other in front of the kids, extended family and in front of your friends.” (JoHannah Reardon)
• “If we could remember that we’re all a work in progress —ourselves as well as our partner —married life would be exponentially easier.” (Les and Leslie Parrott)
• “Whenever possible, return kindness for unkindness. Not only will it improve your marriage, but it will make you more Christ-like.” (JoHannah Reardon)
• There’s nothing better than feeling content in life regardless of what life throws at you because your marriage is Rock solid. –Carmen Smith
• “Talk honestly [and calmly] while problems are small to keep them from becoming big problems.” -Hot Holy Humoruous
• “A wedding is a key that starts the marriage.” After the wedding: “Marriage is made up of millions of small good choices.” – Unknown
• “If you court your spouse as you did when you first fell in love –you can very well fall in love again and again.” -Zig Zigler
• How can you say that you love Christ and not love and pray for your spouse? We’re told to love and pray for even our enemies.
• “Love is like the 5 loaves and 2 fish –it doesn’t start to multiply until you give it away.” Find ways to give it to your spouse J (quote by Pam Smith)
• “All it takes to see the romantic spark doused with buckets of cold water is to expose major impurities in one’s character.” (Gary and Norma Smalley)
• ”It wasn’t the days of ease that made our marriage stronger and happier: It was working through the difficult parts.” -Karen Swallow Prior
• “When you’re married, find a new balance. Marriage should be about finding a new balance —not his way, not her way, but OUR way.” (Sheila Wray Gregoire)
“Recognize that work can be a danger zone. Don’t lunch alone or take coffee breaks with the same person of the opposite sex.” –Shirley Glass
• “Buy a notebook and place it someplace central. Every day, take turns writing down reasons that you’re thankful for your spouse.” (Tip from Focus on the Family, Canada)
• “Much of scripture can (and should) be applied to marriage even if it doesn’t have a ‘use this in your marriage’ directive.” Read and apply. (Lori Byerly)
• “Emphasizing the positive [with your spouse] builds momentum for continued work and change in a positive direction.” (Whiteman and Bartlett)
• “When a problem arises within the marriage, it’s the husband and wife vs. the PROBLEM, rather than the husband vs. the wife.” –Hot, Holy, and Humorous
• “There’s a huge difference between being genuine and being brutally honest.” Don’t be dishonest, but think twice before saying it. (Dr. Phil)
• “Sharing info is a shared responsibility: be sure your spouse is ‘tuned-in’ before making an important announcement or request.” (Tip from Focus on the Family Canada)
• “Closeness in marriage isn’t an accident. It’s a decision you make, and keep making every day.” (From The Word for You Today, 9/2/15)
• “God is not simply out to make you happy. He is trying to make you whole —in the image of His son.” (Tony Moore)
• “Morning’s first moments set the tone for the entire day. So… muster a smile and make your waking words to your spouse count!” (Tip from Focus on the Family – Canada)
• “Choices you’re making today in your marriage will impact choices your children will make in the future. They learn from your example.” (Debi Walter)
• BE AWARE: “Often a crisis unearths problems in a marriage that have either been buried or never resolved.” (Susan Healy Demosthenous)
• “Marriage succeeds only as a lifetime commitment with no escape clauses.” –James Dobson
• “Love is a verb. Without action, it is merely a word.” (Happywivesclub.com)
• “Love is giving the person what they need the most, deserve the least, at great personal sacrifice” [i.e. the love of Christ]. –Chip Ingram
• “The single most important thing we can do for the person we love is love them as they most desire to be loved.” –Fawn Weaver
• “A Marriage License, in reality, is actually a Beginner’s Permit” (Dr. Charles Swindoll)
• “When life comes crashing in, we often forget to set a guard at our mouth. It matters how we say things.” It’s something good to remember.
• “Remember the courtship? Make an effort to woo your spouse all over again. So many marriages fall apart because people just stop trying.” (Brent Rinehart)
• “It’s just as important to be filled with the Holy Spirit in bed with your spouse as it is in witnessing to another about Jesus Christ.” (Yvonne Bright)
• “Our feelings will not always lead us to do the right thing. Sometimes we have to decide to do it because it’s the right thing to do.” (Whiteman and Bartlett – The Marriage Mender)
• To handle conflicts in a biblical way ask yourself: “What does God want to teach me in this conflict?” Whatever it is, U can learn from it. (Josh McDowell, from the book, “The Secret of Loving”)
• “When your spouse blows off steam, listen carefully. Something important is there underneath.” – Anne Ortlund (Building a Great Marriage)
• “You can’t expect anybody to know your needs through simple intuition. If you want something from your mate –ask for it. Be specific.” (Dr Phil)
• “You can’t make yourself feel something you don’t feel, but you can make yourself do what’s right in spite of your feelings.” Pearl S. Buck
• When we give of ourselves to our spouse, we’re also giving of ourselves to God, and we’re bringing pleasure to His heart as well. (CDW)
• “Try to focus on what’s good about the marriage. You’ll find it makes a big difference in your attitudes toward your spouse.” (Whiteman and Bartlett – The Marriage Mender)
• “When you confront problems in your marriage, make prayer your first response.” (Unknown)
• “You can often say the hardest thing to your spouse, and he or she will receive it if you say it gently.” –Gary and Norma Smalley
• “You got married because you dated! It only stands to reason that a good way to stay married is to keep dating each other.” –Carwin Dover
• “Consider your mate as God’s instrument in your life, one through whom God may be speaking to you (See: Proverbs 12:1).” (From the book, “Marriage: Clues for the Clueless)
• “Be aware of Satan’s schemes —where wounds aren’t healed, the enemy comes in and causes more damage.” (Roger Barrier)
• “Speak up for your spouse when others are bashing theirs. Be consistent in the baby steps of building your marriage.” (Lori Byerly)
• “What setting enables your love for your mate to spark or even ignite? Feed the flames—don’t starve them.” –Dennis Rainey
• “True love isn’t found, it’s built. One day. One kiss. One conversation at a time.” (Maggie Reyes) Each day, build together = kiss and talk!!!
• God has a loving message He wants to speak THRU our married lives to draw others, who don’t know Him or need to know Him better.
• “A perfect relationship isn’t ever actually perfect. It’s just one where both people never give up.” –ModernMarried.com
• “Want to be blessed as a married couple? Study the Bible and do what it says. We’re to be “doers of the word, and not merely hearers.” (James 1:22) (David Clarke, A Marriage After God’s Own Heart)
• “Meaningful touching outside the bedroom can create sparks in a marriage, and meaningful communication can fan the flames.” –Gary Smalley
• During holiday gatherings: “Deal with family issues another time. You don’t have to be a slave to old memories.” [See: 2 Cor. 10:5-6] (John Thurman, from his article “Holiday Reduction Stress Tips”)
• Christmas: How can a season that aims at driving us together cause us to push and pull ourselves further apart? Don’t allow it to do so.
• “One of the most amazing gifts in life is to find someone who knows your flaws, differences, and mistakes, yet still loves you.” –Unknown
• “Marriage is a promise—one that you keep even when you don’t feel it—one that you trust God to bless and strengthen and overflow you with love.” (Emily Weirenga)
• When you have fought with your spouse remember: “Anytime we reconcile… it’s a picture of what God wants to do with man.” (Author unknown)
• Regardless of where you are in your marriage, you have the ability to love so stubbornly that Christ can’t be denied. –Darlene Schacht
• BE AWARE: “John 10:10 says, the enemy of our faith comes to steal, kill and destroy. He definitely wants to do that in our marriages.” (Jim Daly)
• “Bitterness is an acid that hurts the object in which it’s stored more than the object on which it’s poured.” –Unknown
• “Smiling can brighten up not only your marriage partners day but yours, too.” (Marcus Kusi)
• “If you want real depth in your marriage, you need to learn to talk with each other spiritually.” ~ David Clarke (From the book, “A Marriage After God’s Own Heart”)
• “Having a ‘fun’ marriage takes a real commitment. We need to be willing to work at finding the hilarity in common moments.” (From the book, “Marriage: Clues for the Clueless”)
• When you’re together in the evening ask each other: What are 3 things that happened to you today? How do you feel about them?
• In marriage: “even if we disagree about everything, we can still be kind to each other.” –Mathew L Jacobson
• “Call your spouse during the day for no other reason than to remind your mate of your love.” (From the book, “Marriage: Clues for the Clueless)
• Make it a habit to “cultivate a habit of encouraging your spouse in public.” (Quote by Mandy Houk —from the article, “Spouse Interrupted”)
• Simply saying, “I love you” and “I believe in you” can make your spouse’s day. Bless your spouse today with your words and your actions.
• “See conflict as a problem to be resolved to the satisfaction of both teammates, not as a war to be won.” (From the book, “Marriage: Clues for the Clueless)
• 2 great tips: “Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.” “If you have to criticize, do it lovingly.” –Rev. Jay Tenney
• “Imagine how incredible our marriages would be if the first thing we thought of every day was, ‘How can I make my spouse’s life better?'” (Susan Passi-Klaus)
• “If couples put half the effort into marriage that they put into courtship, they’d be surprise how things can brighten up.” –Billy Graham
• “People say love doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend renewing it daily.” –Tolovehonorandvacuum.com
• “In marriage conflict, spouses don’t regret what they didn’t say. Hold your tongue, until God has a hold of your heart.” –Mathew L Jacobson
• Things NOT to do to your spouse: “Rolling your eyes in a condescending way. Clucking you tongue (in contempt, as if to say, ‘Well DUH!’).” (From the book, “Marriage: Clues for the Clueless”)
• “Happily ever after in not a fairy tale, it’s a choice that both spouses make daily.” – Fawn Weaver
• “Grow together in faith. For spiritual formation in your marriage, try memorizing Scripture together.” –Tip from Focus on the Family Canada
• “When was the last time you spoke words of affirmation to your spouse? Tell your spouse what you love & admire about them today!” (Tip from Focus on the Family – Canada)
• “If you sandwich criticism between 2 slices of sincere praise, you’ll be amazed at the difference in your mate’s reactions.” –Gary Smalley
• “Without forgiveness, cleansing and fresh starts, married life can become an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.” – Anne Ortlund
• “Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don’t count on harvesting Golden Delicious.” –Bill Meyer
• In marriage it is never about not falling, it is always about getting back up. – Dr Emerson Eggerichs
• Proactively do something that speaks love to your spouse. Do it ‘as unto the Lord’ making the most of the ‘present’ God has given you. (CDW)
• “Friendship fuels the flames of romance because it offers the best protection against feeling adversarial toward your spouse.” (John Gottman and Nan Silver -The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work)
• With your spouse: “Keep dreaming new dreams and making big plans together. Don’t get stuck in a predictable rut.” -Dave Willis
• “You need to commit as a couple to make your marriage safe …Safety is a crucial, if not THE most crucial, issue in marriage.” (Whiteman and Bartlett – The Marriage Mender)
• “The Golden Rule of a successful marriage: Whatever qualities you desire in a mate, develop first in yourself.” -Josh McDowell (The Secret of Loving)
• “Happily married people know that keeping score is what unhappily married people do.” –Alisa Bowman
• When you need to confront problems, make prayer your first approach, asking God for help, BEFORE you approach your spouse.
• “Maintain the ‘magic’ between you and your spouse. Keep saying ‘I love you’ and do your best to be giving your spouse your full attention.” (Jim Burns, from the Growthtrac.com article, “10 Tips for Treating Your Spouse Like Royalty”)
• “There is no hurt like the hurt that happens where we love, and when anything goes wrong in a marriage, that’s the place to be affected.” (Mike Mason)
• “Marriages heal when we stop looking at what our partner should do to make our marriage better… and instead look at what we need to do.” (Author unknown)
• “Learn to disagree without being disagreeable! When you’re mean-spirited you do more harm than good.” (Deborah Smith Pegues)
• “’I love you’ is a strong building block toward a great marriage. ‘I’m sorry’ is an equally strong one.” – Anne Ortlund
• “Even with an unbounding commitment to our spouse, we can still lose our marriages by erosion if we don’t keep replenishing the soil.” (William Doherty)
• “In marriage conflict, spouses don’t regret what they didn’t say. Hold your tongue, until God has a hold of your heart.” (Matthew L Jacobson)
• “Don’t just wait until you’re having problems to work on your marriage. Take small steps every day.” -Lori Byerly
• “Focus on and appreciate who your spouse IS, instead of focusing on who they are not.” -Kate (from the Onefleshmarriage.com article, “7 Things To Do For Your Marriage in this New Year”)
• Kiss your spouse “the way you kissed early in your relationship and marriage” –one good, long kiss that says, ‘You’re still the one for me.’” (Gaye)
• “Humbly admit your own contribution to problems in your marriage. Swallow your pride and apologize when and where appropriate.” (From the book, “Marriage: Clues for the Clueless)
• “What are your marriage expectations and concerns, now and in the future? Look for a good time to talk about them with your spouse.” (From Growthtrac.com)
• “How can you say you love Christ and not love your spouse?” We’re told to love and pray for, even our enemies.
• “Young love is when you love someone because of what they do right. Mature love is when you love someone in spite of what they do wrong.” (Mark Goulston)
• When your spouse arrives home; don’t just call hello from another room. Stop what you’re doing, go to the door and initiate loving contact.
• “Prayer Prompt: Ask God to help you create some small thoughtful routines that will bless your husband [or your wife].” –Lori Byerly
• “Loved the wedding –invite me to the marriage”- God … Have you?
• “Conflict can actually take us to deeper levels of connection, if we learn how to walk through it in healthy ways.” –Greg Smalley
• “It takes 21 days to make a habit and change a mindset. Become habitual about blessing your spouse!” -Kate (From the Onefleshmarriage.com article, “7 Things To Do For Your Marriage in this New Year”)
• “Any lasting relationship is built on true friendship. Your spouse is deserving of the courtesies and kindnesses you give to your friends.” (Woods, Hudson, Dall, Lackland, from the book, “Marriage: Clues for the Clueless)
• “Take a moment or two throughout the day to briefly call, email or text message your spouse your assurances of love.” (Tip from Focus on the Family Canada)
• ‘Without meaning to, we can communicate nonverbally that other people or activities are more important to us than our spouse.” (Gary Smalley)
• “When you’re talking, your goal is to be honest and sensitive. When you’re listening, do so with your full attention, energy, and focus.” (From the book, “Marriage: Clues for the Clueless)
In your marital relationship, remember: “true love isn’t found, it’s built. One day. One kiss. One conversation at a time.” –Maggie Reyes
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