I read a quote by Bill Eliff, which got my attention because it’s something I’ve found to be true. It concerns our weaknesses and what we can learn from them. On this issue, Pastor Eliff wrote:
“My spouse’s weaknesses are not hindrances. Instead, they’re the doorways to spiritual growth.”
That statement can be true, if we apply ourselves to view weaknesses in such a mature way. But sadly, that isn’t always our approach —at least, it’s not always my approach. There are times when I rail against that, which stretches me outside my comfort zone and demands my growth. Whether it’s one of my weaknesses or my husband Steve’s, I don’t always want to let go. There are times when I don’t let God help me to get to a place of handling matters maturely. I want what I want, when I want it, with nothing standing in the way.
Mature Way to Deal With Weaknesses?
Does this sound immature? Does it seem to be babyish? Yes, I admit it is. I confess. It goes along with 1 Corinthians 13:11 which says, “When I was a child, I talked like a child. I thought like a child, and I reasoned like a child. When I grew up, I put childish ways behind me.” THAT should be my continual goal —to put “childish ways behind me.”
If there’s something I know for sure, it’s that marriage requires growing up. If that doesn’t happen it won’t work as God ordains. It’s when we cling to our personal “stuff” —that, which causes harm and division in our marital union that problems occur.
I believe author and speaker Gary Thomas summarized it right when he wrote:
“What marriage has done for me is to hold up a mirror to my sin. It forces me to face myself honestly and consider my character flaws and anti-Christian attitudes, encouraging me to grow in godliness.”
Yep! That’s what marriage has done for me. The marriage relationship has a tendency to bring all that is buried deep inside out into the open. And when it’s out there, it’s grow-up time. Either we confront our sinful attitudes, and the lies we tell ourselves so we properly deal with them, or we shove them away. We then let it cause more damage at another time. It’s our choice . God allows us that. But that doesn’t mean we always make the wisest choices.
Approaching Weaknesses Wisely
To approach marriage matters wisely, we first have to realize that we are not our spouse’s Holy Spirit… God is. We cannot change our spouse. Only he or she can make the decision to do that. We can suggest, “help” and pray for him or her. But ultimately, the only one we can truly change, and escort into the “doorway to spiritual growth” is ourselves.
To help in that process, the following is an EXCELLENT article, written by Bob Eliff. It’s one I hope you will read, and pass along to others, who may benefit from reading it, as well:
• 8 LIES THAT DESTROY MARRIAGE
An additional article you may find helpful to prayerfully read through is:
• MYTHS WE BELIEVE ABOUT OURSELVES AND MARRIAGE
I pray this helps.
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this blog.
Filed under: Marriage Blog