We have a question for you that we hope you will answer. It’s important for you to know that your answer, as a result, can greatly help those who are considering marriage. Can you think of advice you can give? Here is the question:
WHAT KEY ISSUES SHOULD BE TAUGHT TO THOSE WHO ARE CONSIDERING MARRIAGE?
PLEASE ANSWER THIS QUESTION BY LEAVING A COMMENT BELOW
for those who are considering marriage.
(To see previous questions, visit our ARCHIVE)
Filed under: Question of the Month
(U.S.A.) First and foremost: Does this person have their own relationship with God? How important is he in their everyday lives? Second: Do they have HEALTHY self-esteem? Third: Are they willing to compromise and work on their differences about raising children, monies, roles of men & women in marriages? Fourth: What is their credit history? Five: What kind of marriage did their parents have?
(USA) 1. The relationship should be like a triangle. With God being the top point, the husband and wife being the bottom two points. The closer each of them get to God, the closer they will get to each other as well.
2. Show them that you NEED each other, and think of their needs before your own.
3. NEVER lie or hide things, talk to each other honestly
4. Tell them you love them as many times a day as you can, talk to each other throughout your day
5. Pray with and for each other
(SOUTH AFRICA) With God being the centre of your marriage and at the top point, I find that being very interesting… but how does this work, if 1 of the two at the bottom is closer to God and the other, not?
(SOUTH AFRICA) God should be the foundation of a relationship. When one considers marriage, they should not consider or take it as a way of gaining, because that has led to may marriages falling apart. BUT they should have the unconditional love, whereby they shall love their partner through thick and thin, for who they are and be willing to learn and adjust so their marriage can work.
Marriage is a two-way commitment, whereby, one should not concentrate on their own needs being satisfied by their partner but both parties should be happy. The devil fights many married couples by destroying their marriages. In this case, couples should always pray together even when they face challenges in their marriages. They should know how to handle their conflicts and resolve their issues in a proper manner and all this can be possible if partners respect and love one another.
One should also consider the fact that they are starting a new life with an individual who is different from them in terms of character, cultural beliefs, etc, in which case they should be willing to understand their partner.
(US) Love is not just a “feeling” like you see in movies and television. Yes, part of it is a feeling, but it is also a verb, an action, and a choice. It takes work to maintain a loving relationship – you can’t just stop trying to show love to your spouse.
(UNITED STATES) 1. Take seriously the command in 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 – Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer have in common with an unbeliever? (NASB)
2. Know what your vows actually say and mean. These vows are the words by which you bind yourselves together as husband and wife until . . . . “death you do part.” Study your vows – consider what the “for better” and the “for worse” will actually call forth from your integrity before God and your spouse. By the way, there will be many witnesses to watch you live out your commitment over the years. Part of inviting someone to your wedding is giving them an open door to discuss concerns when there appears to be trouble.
3. Husbands, study to know what your new job description will entail. Wives, submission is a key ingredient in your new responsibilities. Is this a man that you would with God’s help willingly submit to? Does he lead? Are you willing to follow?
4. You will be initiating a whole new culture of oneness with each one bringing bits and pieces from your past. Be willing to make peanut butter out of the individual nuts!
5. Well before you send out the invitations for the wedding event – make sure that each of you have exposed any past sins or situations that could wreck havoc on your marriage if discovered at some time in the future. Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed – you should enter into your marriage with nothing shameful hiding in your past. This gives each the opportunity to decide before marriage whether they are strong enough or willing to face any challenges ahead.
(RWANDA) 1) Consider that marriage is God’s idea (It is not good for man to be alone). Have you consulted God first? Is it really God’s true timing for you to marry?
2)Just be aware that you are not marrying an angel and that you won’t be living in heaven!
3)Every marriage is unique in its way. You cannot benchmark.
4)Marriage is dynamic. Love as you progress and love as you change.
5) Everything is possible with God so let God be the center and the foundation of your marriage, it will obviously work for you!
(NIGERIA) Marriage should be based on love that’s true and a person ought to marry someone who is all in one a spouse, a brother/sister and a friend.
(USA) 1. God First
2. Then always put your spouse and their feelings next
3. No matter how angry or hurt you are, never ever go to bed without speaking. We are not guaranteed tomorrow. Whenever we disagree, we may not be over it by bedtime, but before I shut my eyes, I tell him something like this: I am not over this or I do not agree with this but I do love you!
4. From the day you are married, you two are a family. Set your own traditions that will work for you two and not for everyone else in families.
5. Go to church together, Pray together, Stay together! Give your love, flirtations, affections, free time to the one that vowed to love you in sickness and in health, for better or worse. Marriage is what you make; it takes three: God, spouse and me! Even on my worst days, he is my soft place to fall. This has worked for us for 20 years!
(USA) 1. The prospective husband and wife should have a thriving, growing relationship with the Lord.
2. Realize that Love is a daily decision and that each communicate differently from one another. Listen to meaning and not just words. Use I feel … and never attack your spouse’s character. Instead of, “you always make us late”, say “honey, I feel stressed out when we are late.” Your spouse can’t argue with your feelings, but may come to understand those feelings because you are not attacking their character.
3. There may be times when both the husband and/or wife may not like each other. But agree to never put the task of “divorce” on the table ever.
4. Get Christian premarital counseling and discover each other’s personalities and how to understand each other’s personalities, love languages, and financial personalities.
Ask for advice from a marriage mentor couple or from a Christian couple if you cannot get premarital counseling.
5. Get to understand that your marriage is its own entity for the purpose of bringing glory to God and that both of you are on the same team. Work toward oneness not selfishness :)
(USA) 1. First and foremost marriage is a covenant relationship between Jehovah and the two parties. The binder of the covenant is Jehovah himself. The spiritual foundation of marriage far outweighs everything else. Mark 10:8; Genesis 2:24. There is never a time when Jehovah is not the reason for the relationship.
2. Each party will have a confessed relationship with Jesus Christ that has been witnessed by a majority of others.
3. Each person should know who they are:
a. Who they are as individuals, why they do what they do.
b. How they interact with others, how they behave in relation to others.
c. Who they are in Christ and why.
d. Together they should be able to explain who they are to each other and an objective third party in ways all parties understands.
4. Marriage is a relationship of six primary components:
a. Communication
b. Emotional
c. Financial
d. Intellectual
e. Sexual
f. Spiritual
5. A sold understanding that, while Jehovah made man as the head, he gave him a helpmate. Genesis 2:18. The helpmate was not created for doing the dishes, laundry or for sexual relations per’se. The helpmate was given so the two could walk in unity through this life helping each other as the Holy Spirit empowers them to make it home (Heaven) together.
(ZIMBABWE) I would advise to always put God first in your marriage. If you trust in him, and have faith and communicate with him he will sure guide you and protect you in your marriage journey. Always communicate with your spouse (be open to one another), and respect each other.
(SOUTH AFRICA) Will you love this lady and only this lady for the next 60 years? Love means never having to say you’re sorry. If you can honestly answer this with a yes, you will be happy for the rest of your life.
(USA) This is the primary list I think should be continually focused on, in both premarital and post-marital counseling. I believe it should be routinely taught from the pulpit and spoken about regularly in small groups.
1. The “vows” you are about to make/made are a binding covenant between you and God first. Second a covenant is made between you and your spouse.
2. You are entering into the covenant of marriage to have sex. Sex is neither a right nor an obligation; it is a duty within the covenant relationship of marriage.
3. A marriage covenant has three components, a spiritual an intellectual and a physical in that order. Each one has a significant and profound impact into the other two.
4. Within a marriage covenant a man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
5. Words have power, nowhere is this more manifest then in the marriage covenant “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
(SOUTH AFRICA) I feel that the number one thing lacking in all marriages today is a lack of communication, we just don’t do it anymore. Newly married couples should be taught to sit down once a week together – make time and share all the issues that are on their mind with open minds. If you trust each other and start this habit early on in your marriage it will make it much easier to communicate when times of hardship come.
(UGANDA) 1. Marriage is ordained by God and he is it’s author. Both parties need to understand this.
2. Marriage is work and in order for it to be good, you should both work towards making it good.
3. Communication is key in marriage, choose to listen and understand before you are understood and do not jump to conclusions too early.
4. Put your spouse first. Remember marriage is about sacrifice and it will work if you have this in mind. Things do not have to go your way all the time.
5. Be thankful everyday for the person God has placed in your life and love them with everything in you. Remember actions speak louder than words.