Marriage Missions International

Emotional Abandonment: When Your Spouse Shuts You Out

When it comes to emotional abandonment:

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“It’s a complaint I hear regularly from people looking for help for their marriages:

  • ‘I feel distant from my spouse.’
  • ‘I try to get my husband to open up, but instead he just shuts down.’
  • ‘My wife just doesn’t seem interested in me anymore. I feel like we’re a million miles apart.’
  • ‘I don’t know if I love him anymore.’

“What we’re talking about here is emotional abandonment. Instead of physically leaving the relationship, your spouse simply checks out emotionally. They stop investing in the marriage, leaving their mate feeling detached and unwanted. To the outside world the situation can still look rosy, but in reality the relationship is dying a slow, quiet death.” (Dr Dave Currie with Glen Hoos)

Emotional abandonment might not even die quite so slowly and quietly, as the spouse who is shut out tries to grapple with what is happening. Sometimes there is a lot of screaming and finger-pointing within the home —which often seems to complicate the situation even further. And yet, what can the abandoned spouse do to turn the relationship back around in the right direction?

Honestly, it’s confusing —even to those who call themselves “experts” in marriage relationships because everyone’s situation is different. What’s especially tragic is that emotional abandonment is something that seems to be happening in epidemic proportions in marriages today, or maybe it’s just that we hear more about this in today’s world… it’s difficult to tell.

But whatever the case, this is something we need to address because of the devastation it is causing on so many levels to individuals within their marriages, families, churches, and society as a whole, as the family unit breaks down and goes in an unhealthy direction.

To give you some type of insight into what may be causing emotional shut downs and what a spouse can do to turn things around in a better direction, we have found several web site articles that we believe will help. Please click onto the links below to read:

HER HUSBAND WOULDN’T SPEAK TO HER FOR THREE YEARS

MY HUSBAND IS A MYSTERIOUS ISLAND

With this next article, written by Dr Dave Currie and Glenn Hoos, posted on The Power to Change web site, not only gives you solutions to consider but also gives you the opportunity to request to talk to a Marriage Mentor over the issue, which you may want to consider:

• EMOTIONAL ABANDONMENT: When Your Spouse Shuts You Out

If you have additional tips you can share to help others in this area of marriage, or you want to share requests for prayer and/or ask others for advice, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
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Comments

239 Responses to “Emotional Abandonment: When Your Spouse Shuts You Out”
  1. Anna from France says:

    My husband is so quiet and he talks to himself but his mouth moves. I keep asking him to talk to me and he gets angry and tells me to stop asking this. We are on holiday now and celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary and I am so lonely. He dwells on past stuff and gets really angry about people but it’s all going on in his head. He only talks about it when he has had a drink. He blames me for most things and never ever takes any blame for anything in life. I am really tired of this. Our sex life is not happening and this is down to me. I have lost all my libido now. I do not know where to turn.

  2. Sadbere from United States says:

    Hello, my husband abandoned me and children from USA coz he found a younger Philippines woman.

  3. Roger from United States says:

    Married 40 years and wife has breast cancer. She talks to me with hate. Blames me for all that is wrong in her life. Money is and has been a problem in our life. I make good money but it’s never enough. Life is not good.

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