Marriage Missions International

Sex Between a Husband/Wife Is One of God’s Holiest Gifts

Marriage Missions Editors Note: Following this article there will be several links to other articles you can read on this same subject.

One of the best things I ever did for my marriage was to make our intimate relationship a high priority. For the first 10 years of our marriage, we struggled in this area. It wasn’t that we had any major physical or emotional problems, but more that we were self-conscious, self-centered, and perhaps a bit naive, especially for me.

For a long time, I didn’t know that sex was God’s idea and that it is a gift to us in marriage. I was surprised to see how much God said about it in His Word, and I was flabbergasted to discover that a woman could be sensual and godly at the same time. I’d always thought these two words couldn’t be used in the same sentence! But God rejoices greatly in this intimate physical union between husband and wife, which is part of His plan for making us one.

In my immaturity, I never realized how important the sexual relationship is to a man. I learned that sex is a huge need for a husband—emotionally and physically.

After I started meeting my husband’s needs in this regard, every other area of our marriage improved over time. The walls started coming down and the lines of communication opened. My husband became more tender toward me and was more responsive to my needs as well.

Things didn’t change overnight. I spent many hours talking to God about it. I learned that “the wife’s body does not belong to her alone, but also to her husband,” and that the same is true for the husband:

It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband.

Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I’m not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best counsel if you should choose them. (1 Corinthians 7:2-6, The Message)

Another verse that changed my thinking completely was: “The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame”(Genesis 2:25). I had to rid my mind of old mindsets and misconceptions and align my thoughts with God’s perspective.

As I have given my body as a “gift” to my husband, we have both enjoyed a very fulfilling intimate relationship that keeps getting better all the time. I also feel a deeper love for my husband than I did when we were newlyweds!

Best of all, I feel that God is at the center of our marriage. I thank Him for giving us this precious gift of intimacy.


The above article (plus more) can be found in the book, The Best Thing I Ever Did for My Marriage: 50 Real Life Stories -written by Nancy Cobb and Connie Grigsby published by Multnomah Publishers. It has 50 eye-opening, sometimes humorous true stories aimed to help wives problem-solve and better cope in the situations they find themselves in. This book is filled with “wise and wonderful counsel” in a wide variety of marriage issues aimed to build stronger marriages and is VERY inspiring and enjoyable to read.

— ALSO —

“Believe it or not, making love with your spouse is a spiritual,
as well as a physical, exercise.”

To learn more from author Gary Thomas, please click onto the Kyria.com web site link to read:

HOW SEX POINTS US TO GOD

— ALSO —

In this next article, written by Ginger Kolbaba, four sex therapists explain things you should know (and up to this point you may NOT know). But after reading this article, you will!

To learn more, please click onto the web site for Building Intimate Marriages to read:

SPIRITUALITY AND SEX?

If you have additional tips you can share to help others in this area of marriage, or you want to share requests for prayer and/or ask others for advice, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
Share

Join the Discussion!

But please observe the following guidelines:

  • Try to be as positive as possible when you make a comment.
  • If there is name-calling, or profane language, it will be deleted.
  • The same goes with hurtful comments targeted at belittling others; we won't post them.
  • Recommendations for people to divorce will be edited out–that's a decision between them and God, not us.
  • If you have a criticism, please make it constructive.
  • Be mindful that this is an international ministry where cultural differences need to be considered.
  • Please honor the fact this is a Christ-centered web site.
We review all comments before posting them to reduce spam and offensive content.


four × 8 =

Comments

4 Responses to “Sex Between a Husband/Wife Is One of God’s Holiest Gifts”
  1. Sitali from Congo says:

    My husband refuses to have intercourse with me. We can have 4 months without it. I am the one always asking for it. He told me that he does not want to have intercourse because I have had a bad attitude towards him, doing so, will teach me a lesson so next time I will think twice!!!

    He retaliates and I am devastated. Is this how things are supposed to be? God said the husband’s body belongs to the wife and vice versa? What should I do?

    He goes out at night by himself. I told him that we have the go out sometimes, both of us. He refuses. I am the one staying home with the kids. Sometimes when I ask him he says that I need to take care of the kids! here I am ashamed and mad etc… I am asking God to help me by the name of Jesus. I need advice. I do not want to fall into temptation. I have my needs. What do I do?

  2. Amy from United States says:

    We’ve been married 45 years and we only had sex once in our whole married life. He told me the day after we were married he hated sex, it wasn’t worth the so called excitement. Since that time he wants nothing to do with me. He treats me like a sister or room mates! He made his home in the basement and worked the midnight shift for over 40 years. We haven’t had dinner, conversation, slept together or done any thing that married people do.

    It was senseless for me to stay with a non-caring person, but I did and ruined my life like he ruined his. I regret we ever met, and worse regret getting married. In our mid 60s and I don’t care any more about him or myself. My married life will end the same way it started, alone and not wanted.

    • Mark from United States says:

      I read your post now in two separate places on the site and sad can’t even begin to describe your situation. I’m afraid the only help I can provide is to pray for your situation, and I do. I also pray you will be able to let go of the any anger you must harbor. That will only serve to destroy yourself again. “The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble” -Psalms 9:9.

    • Jenny from United States says:

      Amy, please go to a good Christian counselor. It seems to me that you have been abandoned on many levels and that your husband has not honored your marriage vows. I don’t want to give you advice other than to say that a good, wise Christian counselor should be able to help you sort things out and determine what to do.

Marriage Missions International