Marriage Missions Editors Note: Following this article there will be links to other articles you can read on this same subject.
One of the best things I ever did for my marriage was to make our intimate relationship a high priority. For the first 10 years of our marriage, we struggled in this area. It wasn’t that we had any major physical or emotional problems, but more that we were self-conscious, self-centered, and perhaps a bit naive, especially for me.
For a long time, I didn’t know that sex was God’s idea and that it is a gift to us in marriage. I was surprised to see how much God said about it in His Word, and I was flabbergasted to discover that a woman could be sensual and godly at the same time. I’d always thought these two words couldn’t be used in the same sentence! But God rejoices greatly in this intimate physical union between husband and wife, which is part of His plan for making us one.
In my immaturity, I never realized how important the sexual relationship is to a man. I learned that sex is a huge need for a husband —emotionally and physically.
After I started meeting my husband’s needs in this regard, every other area of our marriage improved over time. The walls started coming down and the lines of communication opened. My husband became more tender toward me and was more responsive to my needs as well.
Things didn’t change overnight. I spent many hours talking to God about it. I learned that “the wife’s body does not belong to her alone, but also to her husband,“ and that the same is true for the husband:
It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality —the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband.
Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting —but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I’m not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence —only providing my best counsel if you should choose them. (1 Corinthians 7:2-6, The Message)
Another verse that changed my thinking completely was: “The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame“(Genesis 2:25). I had to rid my mind of old mindsets and misconceptions and align my thoughts with God’s perspective.
As I have given my body as a “gift” to my husband, we have both enjoyed a very fulfilling intimate relationship that keeps getting better all the time. I also feel a deeper love for my husband than I did when we were newlyweds!
Best of all, I feel that God is at the center of our marriage. I thank Him for giving us this precious gift of intimacy.
The above article (plus more) can be found in the book, The Best Thing I Ever Did for My Marriage: 50 Real Life Stories -written by Nancy Cobb and Connie Grigsby published by Multnomah Publishers. It has 50 eye-opening, sometimes humorous true stories aimed to help wives problem-solve and better cope in the situations they find themselves in. This book is filled with “wise and wonderful counsel” in a wide variety of marriage issues aimed to build stronger marriages and is VERY inspiring and enjoyable to read.
— ALSO —
“Believe it or not, making love with your spouse is a spiritual, as well as a physical, exercise.”
To learn more from author Gary Thomas, please read:
— ALSO —
In this next article, written by Ginger Kolbaba, four sex therapists explain things you should know (and up to this point you may NOT know). But after reading this article, you will!
To learn more, please click onto the web site for Building Intimate Marriages to read: