It’s confession time. We did not fight in healthy ways with each other in the first years of our marriage. In fact, our approach was toxic. It was all about, “Winner takes all.” And that is anything but healthy. We yelled, screamed and acted childishly. And we are not proud Read More…
Celebrating the Christmas season can be hard on relationships —particularly marriage. This may seem like a strange statement, but it’s true. You would think the opposite would be true. After-all, during the Christmas season you’re supposed to be celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ —”the Prince of Peace.” So your goal should Read More…
Do you and your spouse process information on emotional issues differently? Does it ever happen to you that one of you goes forth to bring up a conflicting issue and the other tries to withdraw? That’s not as unusual of a situation as you might think. It sure has happened Read More…
This week we’re sharing with you something our friend Debi Walter wrote. Debi and her husband Tom have a wonderful ministry at Theromaticvineyard.com. In this Insight, Debi points out something that is important for all of us to note when we are tempted to settle for that, which we shouldn’t. Read More…
“Isn’t it usually the day-to-day, wash-the-toothpaste-down-the-sink, close-the-toilet-seat kind of irritations about living with someone that can drive us crazy? It’s funny, but you can love someone deeply and still become easily bothered by the simple act of sharing space with them.” (Kristine Carlson, from book, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff in Read More…
You want change to happen in your marriage, but you don’t change what you’re currently doing about it even when you see it’s not working. Hmmm… the question comes to mind, “How’s that working for you?” If it’s working, then don’t change anything. But if it’s not, perhaps you need to make Read More…
It’s extremely rare (if ever) that spouses can live together and NOT disagree at times. But do we need an audience? Is it possible to argue and not involve others? Of course, the answer to the first question is, no, we don’t “need” an audience. The answer to the second Read More…
We’re going to take this week and next to talk about two different —and very important —models for marriage. This week we’ll focus on the DIVISION and STRIFE model and next week on the UNITY and OVERCOMING model. At the outset let me (Steve) say Cindy and I KNOW that Read More…
“The best place to start dealing with conflict is before conflict arises. That’s right, BEFORE a conflict arises. Every couple has their own combination of attitudes, emotions, and circumstances that set them up for conflict, but most couples are totally unaware of what they are. As you identify the factors Read More…
