Marriage Missions International

The Power Of A Praying Wife

I Don’t Even Like Him—How Can I Pray for Him?

Have you ever been so mad at your husband that the last thing you wanted to do was pray for him? So have I. It’s hard to pray for someone when you’re angry or he’s hurt you. But that’s exactly what God wants us to do. If He asks us to pray for our enemies, how much more should we be praying for the person with whom we have become one and are supposed to love? But how do we get past the unforgiveness and critical attitude?

The first thing to do is be completely honest with God. In order to break down the walls in our hearts and smash the barriers that stop communication, we have to be totally up front with the Lord about our feelings. We don’t have to “pretty it up” for Him. He already knows the truth. He just wants to see if we’re willing to admit it and confess it as disobedience to His ways. If so, He then has a heart with which He can work.

If you’re angry at your husband, tell God. Don’t let it become a cancer that grows with each passing day. Don’t say, “I’m going to live my life and let him live his.” There’s a price to pay when we act entirely independently of one another. “Neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 11:11).

Instead say:

“Lord, nothing in me wants to pray for this man. I confess my anger, hurt, unforgiveness, disappointment, resentment, and hardness of heart toward him. Forgive me and create in me a clean heart and right spirit before You. Give me a new, positive, joyful, loving, forgiving attitude toward him. Where he has erred, reveal it to him and convict his heart about it. Lead him through the paths of repentance and deliverance. Help me not to hold myself apart from him emotionally, mentally, or physically because of unforgiveness. Where either of us needs to ask forgiveness of the other, help us to do so.

If there is something I’m not seeing that’s adding to this problem, reveal it to me and help me to understand it. Remove any wedge of confusion that has created misunderstanding or miscommunication. Where there is behavior that needs to change in either of us, I pray You would enable that change to happen. As much as I want to hang on to my anger toward him because I feel it’s justified, I want to do what You want. I release all those feelings to You. Give me a renewed sense of love for him and words to heal this situation.”

If you feel you’re able, try this little experiment and see what happens. Pray for your husband every day for a month using each one of the 30 areas of prayer I’ve included in this book. Pray a chapter a day. Ask God to pour out His blessings on him and fill you both with His love. See if your heart doesn’t soften toward him. Notice if his attitude toward you doesn’t change as well. Observe whether your relationship isn’t running more smoothly.

If you have trouble making that kind of prayer commitment, think of it from the Lord’s perspective. Seeing your husband through God’s eyes—not just as your husband, but as God’s child, a son whom the Lord loves —can be a great revelation. If someone called and asked you to pray for his or her son, you would do it, wouldn’t you? Well, God is asking.

There is a time for everything, it says in the Bible and it’s never more true than in marriage, especially when it comes to the words we say. There is a time to speak and a time not to speak, and happy is the man whose wife can discern between the two.

Anyone who has been married for any length of time realizes that there are things that are better left unsaid. A wife has the ability to hurt her husband more deeply than anyone else can, and he can do the same to her. No matter how much apology, the words can not be erased. They can only be forgiven and that’s not always easy. Sometimes anything we say will only hinder the flow of what God wants to do, so it’s best to, well, shut up and pray.

This is an excerpt from, The Power of a Praying® Wife, written by Stormie Omartian, published by Harvest House. This is one of my (Cindy’s) favorite books! As Stormie said it so well: “I can think of no better way to truly love your husband than by lifting him up in prayer on a consistent basis. It is a priceless gift that helps him experience God’s blessings and grace.” With real-life illustrations, Stormie includes sample prayers and “power tools” —verses that inspire and encourage —to help wives rest assured in God’s promises of restoration, renewal, and growth in marriage.

— TO HELP YOUR FURTHER —

The following is are two links to articles to read, which may inspire you to pray for your husband in a different ways than you might have otherwise thought:

10 Things Praying for Your Husband Does for You (the Wife)

31 Days of Praying for Your Husband

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Comments

550 Responses to “The Power Of A Praying Wife”
  1. Georgann says:

    Hello! It’s refreshing to see that others understand how hard it is sometimes to pray for those who have hurt us. I’ve been praying for my husband for 30 years. My children are grown now but I remember when they were little and their dad was mean my kids got to where they would say “Don’t tell us to pray for him!” We’d prayed for him so many times. He use to drink until this past Feb. He was a very mean drunk, especially to me, and he drank every night. I never stopped praying although it was hard to imagine him actually not drinking, I knew that God had the power. One day out of the blue, he quit. Just like that. After 25 years. I know it was Divine Intervention and I thank God daily. I don’t know why God waited so long, the effects of his drinking will linger for my family for ever but I have faith that God will help us to use these things from our past for our good and the good of His kingdom. There is a lot of hurt and pain that we are all still dealing with, would you lift us up in prayer please? Thank you.

    • Kate says:

      (USA)  Praise the Lord! You give me hope, Georgann. God bless you and your family. Healing is one aspect of Jesus’ ministry that has never ceased, and it is still available to us. I pray that you be encouraged in all the places where you are discouraged and that the Lord Jesus touch you in all of the places where you need healing, and all of the places in your beloved children’s hearts and in all of the places in your husband’s heart. Another book I would recommend besides Stormie’s fantastic book is by Neil T. Anderson, called “The Bondage Breaker”. It not about healing but about spiritual warfare.

      Also, at my church, in addition to our fantastic rector, we are blessed to have a semi-annual guest speaker from Canada, Father Todd Atkinson. He is a man of incredible gifts, and his sermons on healing are some of the best I’ve ever heard. I hope you will be blessed by them as well. Free podcast available here:
      http://www.standrewsgainesville.org/guest_sermons/ God bless you and your whole family!

    • Helen says:

      (CANADA)  Thank you for sharing that!! Powerful witness!

    • Monika says:

      (USA)  Sometimes God allows storms to rage to allow the mountains in our life to shape our character and faith. I don’t know why God waited to deliver your husband from drinking BUT I am convinced that your husband being delivered, is only the beginning of your testimony. You see God wants to do something great in the lives of you and your family and all those prayers will come and are coming to pass. Your children will lead happy and whole lives and so will you and you will do it in -spite of all the enemy has tried to bring against you.

      When the 3 Hebrew boys were in the fiery furnace the Bible says that not even their clothes smelled of smoke. God didn’t bring you through that to allow defeat in any area of you or your children’s lives. God also said in His word in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”

      God is going to use you and your family to be a testimony and witness to others in so many ways. Your family has proven that prayer changes things, that families that pray together stay together, that the effectual prayers of the righteous availeth much. Don’t be surprised when you begin to meet others who are headed into the storm you just came out of. The Bible says that God won’t put more on us than we can bear, you and your children are stronger for this. Expect God to bring you out. Expect God to heal you. Expect your children to rise above their hurt.

      My sister I feel that God is greatly going to use you and your family. You will have an “in-spite of” praise and testimony. God will heal you in-spite of, you will be whole in-spite of, you will be healed in-spite. And just like the Hebrew boys God will get the glory because you won’t look like or even appear as though you have been through the fiery furnace. Be Blessed. This is just the beginning.

      Daniel 3:26-28, “Nebuchadnezzar then approached the opening of the blazing furnace and shouted, ‘Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out! Come here!’ So Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came out of the fire, and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them. Then Nebuchadnezzar said, ‘Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the king’s command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God.”

    • Hope says:

      (NIGERIA)  Thank you for your faith… You are so beautiful. God will make you forget the past… I am blessed.

    • Debbie says:

      (USA)  I too have prayed for over 30 years. I need your prayers.

      • Debbie J says:

        (USA) I, too am a Debbie, and I too have been praying… nearly 35 years. I will commit to pray for YOU! Don’t lose hope. I was on the verge today, till I found this page. God wants their restoration more than we do! It’s hard, so hard… but God STILL works miracles in our lives. Hold on, sister…

    • Phil says:

      (UGANDA)  Praise the LORD, I am a husband of three years. After reading this article I realized that maybe some where along the way I must have hurt my wife after confessing that her friend looked attractive in my eyes, though I managed to fight it and conquered the fantasy with success. I did not realize that confessing would hurt her.

      However, two weeks ago we visited her aunt in the neighborhood with her brother who had just returned from Quatar. We then met with her cousin who had just returned from the USA for good after becoming a total failure and alcoholic who broke many girls hearts in the US, promising them marriage and not fulfilling his promises. We chatted till late in the night about USA and many other things. She then traveled for two weeks with her brother who had returned from Quatar to visit her farther.

      The next day early in the morning of which I was also skeptical about but nevertheless, two nights ago after her return from visiting her dad, while having a bedroom late night chat after getting intimate she out of the blue tells me that her cousin from the USA was supposed to marry her and that in her culture it was ok and allowed. I told her in mine it wasn’t and that it was incest. She should rethink her statement. She then said it was a joke so I took it lightly. But yesterday as I was driving home after work it crossed my mind and I just could not stop thinking about it. Why would somebody play around with what the LORD has given you?

      I came to understand that she was confessing her feelings for her cousin indirectly. That meant that the husband the LORD had given her (me) is not what she wanted but the other cousin whom the LORD is preparing for another marriage is whom she wants, making me feel that I am not the only man in her life and that I have to compete with her cousin for affection and love. I tried to pray about it last night when I got home but just couldn’t make a prayer since I am reading the Power of a Praying Husband. I ended up opening the Bible and reading the book of 1 Kings.

      Trying to understand the story in the Bible, I couldn’t look her straight in the eye with or without a smile. I have always stopped her from going to spend the night at her aunties home because I had a feeling something was not right and now I believe I was right. As recovering alcoholic I was to believe that the more you distance yourself from the programme the closer you get back to the bottle. So I also have to believe that the more you distance yourself from your spouse, especially a young, as we are, the closer you get to somebody else and fall into temptation which I confess that I have encountered, but kept away.

    • Cerene says:

      (USA) I’m thankful that your husband has changed his ways and your family is finally sober. That’s what God wanted for him and for your family. It is certainly a divine blessing that God’s will has finally been received in your home and for your family.

      For other women and families going through this, please know that abuse is never ok. It’s ok to pray for her husband every day and night and still get you and your children and herself to a safer environment. A time of separation and reflection, with reconciliation after your husband has shown fruits of repentance, may even be what he needs to realize his actions and stop the abuse. As parents, we owe our children safety and stability.

      I grew up in an alcoholic home and the pain and suffering it caused was not of God. Alcoholism is a curse leveled on the children of the home. Kids suffering, grandchildren suffering, great-grandchildren suffering, all for not actions that are not of God, sins that should not be tolerated. There is a link on this site for abused women. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, click on it and get some help. If not for you, for your kids. It has taken me so many years of hurt and pain, filled with prayer and pastoral counseling, to overcome just a little of the abuse that occurred in my home.

      Please don’t sentence your kids to a life of hurt, pain, guilt, and shame. God does not condone that. It is not His will. I truly believe it is allowing Satan to have a stronghold in your home. Satan knows the words of God and it uses them against you, just as He tried to use them against Christ. It is only through knowing who you are in Christ, knowing He died to free you from bondage, that He would never condone you being abused back in bondage, that you can fight the evil one. May God strengthen you to do what is right.

  2. LT says:

    Hi – this response is for Georgann – firstly, I agree, it IS hard to pray for someone who has hurt you (and continues to do so or, in your case, has done so for many years/decades). I empathize with your situation and am ELATED to hear God divinely intervened on your behalf, to help your husband with his problem. I pray for your healing, that of your children as well as your husband (alcoholism is a symptom of something deeper).

    I assume you experienced verbal (perhaps even physical) abuse. I came to this site b/c I experienced abuse from my spouse as well. It went on for 12 years and I thought that was a long time until I read your comment. Dig through the articles here on abuse and healing from it – they are WONDERFUL tools. You might also want to check other Christian websites for abuse….but only Christian resources.

    If you have a study group or women’s prayer group you can meet with I highly suggest you meet with them – not to husband bash but to lift him up in prayer as well as the whole family and experience God’s healing power in your life.

    God has changed my marriage but I tell you – it was NOT at all the way I envisioned. It was hard. But it’s worth it- Praise God. I pray for your whole family!

    With love, your Christian sister, LT

  3. Georgann says:

    Dear LT, Thank you for your kind words and prayers. It is very uplifting and encouraging for me to know someone is praying. I’m happy to know your marriage was healed and is okay now. I long for Christian fellowship, but I can’t pursue it at the moment. I read everything Christian I can find, Joyce Myers, TD Jakes, Beth Moore, etc….. and of course, the Bible, daily as well as Oswald Chambers devotional,”My Utmost For His Highest”. I can not imagine life without God.

    I have an area I struggle with harder than anything, I lie to my husband. We work together, so we’re together 24/7 and it’s so hard. He’s critical and demanding. But if a problem arises, especially financially I try to hide it to keep him from getting upset and it usually turns out to be a big huge mess.

    I have made such an awful mess of things right now, behind on taxes, checks bounced… it’s so humiliating. For the last couple of months it’s been so stressful, things have just snowballed, everyday it’s worse and worse. I get angry because I need to talk to my husband but I just can’t, I know his reaction. Yesterday he found out some of it. A vendor brought in a check and it’s been insane every since.

    At first i was relieved, I thought it was all going to come out, the whole mess, and we could deal with it, but I just cannot make myself tell him anything he doesn’t find out on his own. I just can’t. He’s wanting to see records, etc. of proof of what’s been paid and what hasn’t and I’m a total wreck around him. In my heart I know God is in control and He’s working on both of us and I know I should trust God more than I fear my husband’s wrath but it’s so hard.

    Please continue to pray for us, I’m getting through one minute at a time! I believe with all of my heart that my Lord is with us and trying to correct years of dysfunction. I’m just so ashamed, my husband doesn’t agree with my time I spend in the word, etc. He thinks I’m fake about it. What is my behavior saying to him? I can’t believe I’ve said all of this, I usually say nothing to anyone! I just need prayer so badly, we both do. You seem genuinely sincere and have a heart like Jesus. Thank you again for your prayers and kindness, In His Love, Georgann

    • SANDY says:

      (USA)  Wow, I thought I was the only one. I have been in an abusive relationship with my husband as well (he was with drugs and alcohol and women). I also kept praying to the point I threw in the towel. Things got even worse. I had the beating, verbal but I didn’t want to give up. He is the father of my kids and I felt as though I had to continue praying. I also get scared trying to tell him things that I mess up even to this day.

      He finally gave up the drugs, alcohol and women for God. After 10 years he is a new man. But I still have the scars that are planted in my heart. I try and try to change (trying to fall in love again), but I keep remembering the past and still feel the pain inside. Also, I keep lying too when things (finances) hit the wall. I thank you for expressing yourself and keep the faith. We are here for one another and like LT said we shouldn’t bash our men, but keep praying. God does hear our prayers, now for the healing process. I need to learn to let go of control. And let God take control. I pray for each of you and your families. Keep your head up and thank you again for the encouragment.

  4. LT says:

    (USA) Hi Georgann, I wanted to get back to you, albeit a little overdue, on your last comment. Well, you’ve already seen your sin and your heart has already convicted you on your lying. Good for you! That is God at work in you!

    My suggestion on that one is: you know it’s wrong. You also know that your husband will most likely react in a way that is unpleasant (anger, hostility, yelling, etc.) However, we as Christians, are we not called to do the right thing in the eyes and the law (the Word) of God? Yes. And you already know what that is because you have pointed it out in your comment. Recognizing sin is the first step. God has already guided you to step one. Therefore, trust Him to guide you through the remaining steps.

    Tell God in your honest prayers that, God, I know my husband will react harshly but I will tell him the truth in all matters because it is what you, God, desire.

    Georgann, my dear sister, the Bible says God has not given us a spirit of fear, but, rather, of a sound mind. (II Timothy 1:7) Pray beforehand, each time you must share news that your husband may not react well to. God can give you the strength and keep you out of fear. Fear is of Satan. If you lie, knowingly, then Satan has won. If you fear, Satan has won. Don’t let Satan win.

    The Bible also says be wise as a serpent, harmless as a dove. (Matthew 10:16) In the case where you know your husband will react wrongfully/sinfully, and you don’t have to tell him, then let him discover things on his own. If it’s not your job to report daily, then don’t. That is not lying.

    Only you know whether you are lying or not. It’s hard for me to tell without all the details but I think both scriptures, above, will help you in your dilemma. God is with you!! You need not fear. If you do, then fervently pray to God to help you overcome that. But also do so knowing that Christians will suffer, from time to time, just as Christ did. This is what he said to us.

    If you are faced with a conversation where you have no choice but to tell the truth and you get a harsh reaction, then you know you did so because you were standing up for Christ! And that is worth it, in the long run, every time! Suffering for Christ is what all Christians will face, from time to time. (I Peter 4:12-13; see also I Peter 5:9, Acts 5:41, Romans 5:3, II Corinthians 1:5; all of these talk about suffering for righteousness’ sake, for doing the “right” thing, even though it is hard and the consequences may be hard).

    My last note is on you meeting with other believers. Georgann, the Bible commands us to meet with other believers. Hebrews 10:25. This is where you will draw strength, especially during hard times. And it is also where you will learn more about God’s word. If you are not meeting because of physical circumstances (long hours at work or car trouble, etc.) then pray for God to fix that problem so that you can meet with other believers.

    If you are not meeting with others, because your husband tells you not to, then you must put God first, before your husband. Women are to submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5), unless it conflicts with the Word of God. At that point you must put God first. If this is the case, then pray for God to change your husband’s heart and mind on letting you meet with other believers.

    I continue to lift you up in prayer. Please let us know how your journey of faith continues.

    • Maricon says:

      (PHILIPPINES)  Truly inspiring… I’d love to hear it more from you… Thank you so much for sharing.

    • Eunice says:

      (KENYA) Hi Georgina, First God loves you so much. Trust in the Lord always. Pray for your husband. Tell God to take away all the anxiety in you. When you read the Bible, it teaches you so many things. The Holy Spirit of God takes control. He starts teaching you and helping you in the areas where you feel they are a burden to you. Stop lying to your husband and tell him the truth. Talk to him even if doesn’t want to listen but pray first so that God can help you. You will see how God will make him listen to you and bring peace and love in your family. Pray to God that he fills your husband with peace and love in your heart. God bless you.

  5. Georgann says:

    (US) Hi LT. I know it’s taken me a while to answer, I come to this site almost nightly, tho and read your post and the verses. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for such loving and wise council. It’s been hard to write about all of this. I’m still dealing with the “mess” but feel God is really teaching me a very important lesson. I hate to admit it to myself or to you but the fact is, I fear my husbands wrath more than I trust God.

    I read the Bible nightly and nightly I realize the Lord’s love for me and my husband, His faithfulness. His promise is that the fire will not consume me but I can’t bring myself to do or say anything that brings out the “green eyed monster.” I have tried. One time in particular a matter needed dealing with that was a result of my mismanagement and I sucked it up and blurted it out, (it took me hours) and the reaction from him was the same, explosive and mean.

    I feel that God was making a point to my husband, I’ve tried and tried to explain to him how his actions and his words affect me and he is in such deep denial, he refuses to accept the possibility that his behavior is anything other than how someone “like me” has to be treated.

    I told him that I was sorry that I had been honest with him about the situation, that I would rather try to deal with things on my own than go through the same torrent of insults, etc…. I know by your words of reminder of God’s Word, that it was right for me to tell him, tho regardless of his reaction. It’s just very very hard.

    Since then there have been some other issues tho that have come up that I didn’t discuss with him that I should have and I get so disgusted with myself. I know my lack of faith and my disobedience is costing me and my family and I feel so badly about it. I am praying continually. I know that the Lord knows the whole situation and He knows better than I myself why I am the way I am. I thank Him daily for His unfailing and unwavering love.

    When we do have to deal with some of the problems I have caused with the business I feel so bad for my husband. We’re having to deal with so many other issues right now, I feel so disappointed to be an added cause of stress to him. I have always longed to be his “helper” and a blessing to him so far I haven’t done so well. I remind myself daily that I am a work in progress!

    I’ve been thinking a lot said about fellowshipping with other believers. I use to pray about this pretty often. I haven’t so much lately but will begin again. I long for the companionship of other believers. Sometimes when browsing on the web I see pictures of friends laughing, crying, and I get envious, I know I shouldn’t, God agrees that I would benefit from a church home. He knows my need so I leave it to His timing to supply a way. My husband doesn’t want me to go to church. But I will earnestly begin again praying to the Lord about it. I would love to go, I would love the fellowship, the Bible Study… I have to go now, please accept my sincere thanks for taking the time to discuss this with me.. God Bless, Georgann

    • Helen says:

      (CANADA)  Thanks again for your honest sharing, you are a blessing to all who read your posts!

    • Sheryl says:

      (USA)  Georgann, I’m Sheryl and I have gone thru hard, hard times with my husband of 30 years and putting God first ..if you are still online, I would love to talk to you. ox

  6. Zukiswa says:

    (SOUTH AFRICA) Hi LT, Your mails are so inspiring. I am separated with my husband, but I’m still trusting God. Pray with me. Thanx

  7. Sue says:

    (USA) I just recently started praying for my husband it seems hopeless, but I continue and will get into more detail later!

    • SMV says:

      (USA)  I have been married to my husband for 20 yrs but separated from him on and off for 3 years- and leagally now since Nov. He has been accusing me of unfaithfulness and it got so horrible I couldn’t take anymore. I had so much hope in the beginning of our troubles and was standing on scripture -praying and doing whatever I could possibly think of to make him believe. But it has gotten worse and worse.

      Basically I had given up and have been a complete basket case of sadness and pain and even stopped praying and going to church because it hurt so much since I wasn’t seeing any change……BUT GOD HAS MOVED AGAIN ON MY HEART TO TRY AGAIN! Its almost funny because our situation is ridiculously horrible when you just look at it and know all the facts but …..NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD! I can see now, that especially during these last 6 mos. I had given up- just laid down and died- took all my “armor” off and let the devil have his way. God is so so so good to rekindle that spark of hope again in my heart and to draw me again to his word and to begin standing on HIS PROMISES again for my marriage- no matter what… period.

      My friend told me about this book today- what timing! I can’t wait to get it. I told her I am done being the “VICTIM” -(although, yes, I have been affected) but realize that the real victim is my husband’s mind that the devil is wanting to destroy (and with it our marriage and family). I have begun praying EVERYTIME he comes to my mind, even at my work. And instead of asking God why he is doing/saying all the negative I am lifting him up to JESUS and praying LIFE, godly charater and angelic protection over him and basically calling him into rightousness…by faith!!

      It looks impossible in the natural, but my GOD is a God of miracles- of forgiveness- of mercy- of redemption- of reconcilliation- ….!!!!! I am not allowing my mind to accept a “plan B- well if it doesn’t work out” kind of thinking anymore. I want to grow with God during this time as well as ask him to forgive me for my responses in the past to my husband in how I dealt with the accusations. I know this will be hard but the Lord is on my side and I know I am praying HIS will for us!

  8. Deborah says:

    (USA) I came across this, I believe, by God’s intervention. My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years. We both were married previously and have 3 children from each of those marriages. He is 10 yrs older so his children are all adults, mine are still teens.

    My husband is a co-pastor in our small church and we have always made it a point to pray and study the word together, yet also having our private time with the Lord as well. Recently I was injured and I am unable to work temporarily which has put a burden on my husband.

    He has always been a very good father and husband. Never has he raised his voice in anger nor a hand to me or my children. I thank God for such a good man that he has given me. Recently he has closed himself off a little bit, immersed himself into his job to provide putting in 20 hours of overtime every 2 weeks, which causes his body to be fatigued and he’s very tired. He misses Bible study, and has forgotten our prayer and study time we do together. He rushes off early to work to get those extra hours, returns late nightly. He has pulled away from the intimate part of our marriage. I feel to blame. I feel I am just a burden to him. I have become so terribly depressed feeling very unloved and undesirable. Please tell me, how I can approach this sensitive issue? My husband is not very open when it comes to talk about being intimate.

  9. Cheral says:

    (SOUTH AFRICA) Hi Deborah,

    I’ve only seen your message just now Deborah. We’ve just been through something similar in fact. Lift him up in prayer, consistently. Leave little notes for him. Please don’t feel depressed, unloved or undesirable. If you were the very last person left on earth, Jesus would still have died on the cross for you. You are so special Deborah, try to see the special things that God is doing for you, because once you can connect to His Joy, you’ll see how things will start improving. Your husband is just tired … and losing out on his daily prayer time and Bible study etc is what’s making him feel depressed, which probably looks like he’s “pulling away”. Please keep on praying. The devil knows you are both vulnerable now and will start throwing rocks to crack your bridge. JUST PUSH THROUGH.

    Deborah, you are NOT burden on your hubby. It’s just a trial that you two have to get through together. So try to reject the devils way of thinking, and let the Joy of God carry you through. You two already have something that others don’t. One thought though — perhaps your feelings of guilt, depression, inadequacy etc are what’s pushing your hubby away. You’re amazing. Please remember that. You are truly an amazing woman … so try not to let this trial become much bigger than it really is. I love you, and am praying for you sister.

  10. LT says:

    (USA) Hi Cheral (and Deborah), Cheral, I couldn’t have said it better myself! Everything you say is right on! It’s taken a LONG time filled with trials for many recent months for me to finally get in touch with the joy and peace that God brings. I think this world tells us we are inadequate and after so many years, we just believe it.

    The Bible does say otherwise though. God does love each and everyone of us. And, also, through the wonderful messages I’ve received from other beautiful Christian brothers and sisters, I’ve been told they love me, too. Just like Cheral loves you. That’s always comforting.

    Yes, Deborah – listen to Cheral’s very sound and Godly wisdom and advice. She is truly dead on. Not just about God loving you but also about the situation you are in. I agree completely, your husband is probably pulling away just from stress and tiredness. And your illness is a trial. That’s all. It’s something God is allowing to strengthen you. You’ll be much stronger when you come through and you will. It’s not a deal-breaker. God will allow the trial to end on His perfect timing. You are in my prayers, With love, LT

  11. LT says:

    (USA) Hi Zukiswa, Thank you, so much, for your kind words. I have gained a lot of trust, understanding and knowledge because of my walk with God, through all the trials He allows to happen in my life. I share that here for anyone who might benefit from it. I am glad that you are helped by my comments. The Holy Spirit guides me to write what I write to others – that is why you are inspired by it – they are God’s words to me, and through me.

    I will certainly keep you in my prayers, and all the other beautiful people I’ve been in touch with through this web site, including Cindy Wright.

    Zukiswa, your words touched my heart! Here is a great verse that I would like to share with you; it is one I think of when I think of all the wonderful people who minister on this web site, including people who write in like you and Georgann: "I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (Philippians 1:3-6)

  12. Straube says:

    (THE NETHERLANDS) Hello sisters around the world. Wow, it is great to read your incredible stories. I see that we women go through a lot. That is exactly the reason why we need to be powerful women. I was most hit by the story of Georgann. I did not yet read the book the power of a praying wife, but want to do so. But I read other books that helped me to focus on my relationship with God. For instance I read Boundaries in Marriage. And this book really helped me to get clear that when I know my own boundaries. I am responsible for telling people that they are crossing my boundaries.

    I am not letting anyone cross my boundaries. I have a right to live and of a free space where i can live in. My husband …..our marriage was also in physical danger. There were a couple of times when he hit me hard, and it confused me and I thought this was the only time he did it — he will never do this again. But next time he did the same thing. Until I left my husband and told him the only way I come back is when you get help otherwise our marriage is over. And if he didn’t seek help I would have done this. Because I believe we do not have to be faithful to our husbands when we are in physical danger. God doesn’t want that for us.

    Our husbands have choices, and they can choose to get help for this behavior. When he chooses to hit you he chooses to be unfaithful to you. He is then breaking the promise to you. It is not the other way around. He really needs help when he hits you because he can not change his own behavior by himself. More often they were in abuse themselves before they do things like that. They had wrong examples.

    In my situation my husband knew that he had to do something and found help. He went in a group of abusing man and learned more about abuse. We have both still a lot to learn, also for me with my sharp tongue, but God changed our marriage so much that it gives me faith to carry on. Boundaries are also there for a reason. And you need to tell people about your boundaries, because they can’t tell by themselves. They need you to say they crossed the line.

    You also need someone you trust and who knows your husband. I pray you find someone close by who can help you stay save and be your friend. I do not know why I found this website and found your writings, but I do know I serve an awesome God who does not have any boundaries around the globe (like the lines of country’s). Lots of love. I pray for you all. God is an awesome God.

  13. Lissy says:

    (KENYA) Hello, I just stumbled on this website as I am in some kind of despair. My fiancee has become quite selfish.This made me do something drastic and now my family does not really approve of our relationship. I somehow overreacted which is now causing damage for us. I have always read the prayers in Stormie’s book and always pray for my fiance’s priorities… God seems to answer my prayers then pulls back! I don’t understand! We love each other and are working on this but my actions have made everyone meddle into our life!

  14. Bridget says:

    (SOUTH AFRICA)  Hi everyone, This is my first time entering this website. Infact, I saw Stormie’s book a while ago before I got married. I’m now married for exactly a year and I’m already having problems in my marriage. Currently, I’m going through a dark cloud and needed a lot of support from my partner. He does not drink nor does he smoke and he’s 10 yrs older than me, which scares me even more because then I do not have an excuse as to why he is failing to be supportive to me at a time when I needed him the most.

    I felt a lot of disappointment and found myself wondering if he is the life partner that I thought him to be. He hasn’t even had time to notice how much I needed him because he’s been consumed in his own life and friends. When I spoke to him to try and explain to him my disappointment and pain that I’m going through right now…NOTHING changed.

    I feel that maybe he got married to the idea of marriage and not to me. That is the only thing to me right now that explains his behaviour. I, on the other hand thought I was marrying the man of my dreams who’ll always be there for me at a time of need. I think, we might love each other but unfortunately either have different understanding of what marriage is or just do not have the same goal in mind.

    Sadly so, I feel that I’m ready for a seperation. I feel that I should give him time to re-focus or decide if marriage is the right path for him because right now…I don’t think it is… I’m at a cross-road because I’ve been experiencing his unavailability to me for a while now but have been trying to be understanding and compromised. I really have to wonder if he’ll ever be available for me and if by that time I’d still love him the way I do…

  15. LT says:

    (USA) Hi Bridget, Sorry to hear of your marital disappointments. Please look at the following link, from this website: http://www.marriagemissions.com/category/emotionally-distant-spouse/

    The one, REALLY important thing (among many) I learned through this website (and that I’ve had to share with many female friends and sisters in Christ because they had unrealistic expectations of their husbands) is that no one person can fulfill all your emotional needs, including your husband. Only Christ can truly fulfill you in a way that is far surpassing of anything human, physical, or Earthly.

    My strong sense, as a Christian who has walked this walk for a while now, from reading what you’ve written and your dilemma is that God is telling you, through this current trial right now, that you need to get closer to God. You have not found true and total fulfillment from Christ, otherwise you wouldn’t be looking to your husband to fill the void. Your husband should be there for you and be a life partner, but he cannot fill ALL your voids – only Christ can.

    This trial is being allowed, by God above, right now because Christ wants you to get to know him better and be filled, from within, with His love. Divorce (and even separation) is not the answer unless you are being abused and your physical safety is an issue, and it does not sound like that is the case from what you describe.

    Divorce is a sin, unless someone is unfaithful or an unbelieving partner leaves the marriage. In any other case, divorce is not allowed. See I Corinthians 7. Separation is acceptable, but only if both parties agree to it and it is done for the express purpose of prayer and there is a date set for both spouses to return to live under the same roof.

    It is when we are broken that we fall to our knees. Matthew 5 says blessed are the poor in spirit. When we are poor in spirit (which is what you are right now) we call and cry out to God and it is then that he can answer us and be assured that we are listening. God does hear your prayers and your calls right now. Of this, in my heart, I am certain.

    Dearest Bridget, Seek God to fill your needs at this trying time in your life. When two individuals are filled with God from within- that is when they can have a truly Godly marriage. Instead of focusing on your husband’s sins or shortcomings, focus on your relationship with Christ and it is there that you will find true and everlasting peace and fulfillment. I speak as a formerly abused wife who found comfort, solace, safety and solution in Christ, not anywhere else. And I am still married, as well. With love and I’ll keep you in my prayers, LT

  16. Rachael says:

    (SOUTH AFRICA) Dear LT – your response to Bridget’s letter has encouraged me a lot and has strengthened me. I as well am married for a year now – I feel pregnant in the first month of our marriage – and now God as blessed me with a baby boy. He is 2 months old now and my husband has not shown much interest in me or the baby. In my heart I know he loves us but I don’t understand why we are at the bottom of his priority list – work, friends etc comes first. I can’t even remember when last we have spent quality time together. I want to say thanks for your encouraging words to Bridget, it also applies to me. I NEED to put GOD first in my life and seek him for HE is my strength and Joy. I cannot depend on my husband to fulfill all my needs.

  17. LT says:

    (USA) Hi Rachael, Firstly, congratulations on the birth of a beautiful baby boy!! Wow!

    As a mom myself, I can confirm, regardless of how much or how little support you have from those around you (unless you just have about 5 nannies with you), the first 6 months are SOOOO tiring and hard. Between hormones, tiredness and the overwhelming task of a job you’ve never had before and have no qualifications for, it’s hard. Just hang in there.

    Actually – it was motherhood itself (as well as a husband that could be very unloving) that helped me die to self, more than anything else, because I had a little one depending on me and I had to learn how to do everything, including going to the bathroom, differently. I always came last. Men do not really know what it’s like for new moms.

    Try to get together with your girlfriends or female relatives as much as you can. There is nothing wrong with trying to share your thoughts with your husband. If you think he’ll hear you on it, you can tell him you need him more.

    We women (and moms) have these dreams of us all being together as a happy family, all the time, the minute the baby is born and we feel up to it – I had those dreams, too, but that didn’t happen as much as I wanted either.

    It is hard but as you said yourself, God is our strength. Keep tapping into that and walking in the faith of that and you’ll get past all the problems. With love, LT

  18. wendy says:

    (SOUTH AFRICA) Hi Bridgette, I just want to say that I know exactly what you going through. Many times I’ve wanted to throw in the towel. I’ve just made a choice to cry out to the Lord for help.They say your 1st year is the hardest and most difficult, if you survive it, you can survive anything. Just remember your promise before God and know that you were joined for a purpose which Satan is not pleased about; that’s why he will try to destroy your union. Pray my sister. Things have gotten a lot better for us. I’m now expecting our first baby, and have been married for 14months.

  19. LT says:

    (USA) Hi Wendy, That is such a beautiful testimony!

  20. Jodie says:

    (USA) I have read some of the comments that are here and they are really inspiring to me. My husband does things that I don’t want to say and I really get frustrated when he comes home high honestly I don’t want to let him in the house. But he is a great father and a great husband and a wonderful friend. I pray for him all the time that is of course when I am not mad at him. I know from personnel experience that GOD can and will break any addiction there is because I used to do drugs even after I was saved but I went to church one day and asked the lord to baptize me with HIS HOLY SPIRIT and when HE did WOW!!!! I have never been the same and I have never did any drugs since or had any cravings for them.

    I also used to smoke cigarettes and I prayed for many years that GOD help me stop smoking and one day again I just quit PRAISE GOD!!!!!! But I only could do the things with GOD. I have a really hard time not losing my temper with my husband because I know that GOD has a special plan for him and I know that he can be more than what he is being now.

    It is hard for me to accept all the excuses my husband has. Because I know if he would truly seek God and give his life to HIM than he (my husband) could get a revelation of who he is to our FATHER JESUS CHRIST. Pray for us. Thanks in HIS name. JODIE

  21. LT says:

    (USA) Hi Jodie, That is an awesome testimony AND I love the story about your baptism of the Holy Spirit. If only more people out there knew that this was possible. I honestly think that there are a lot of God followers out there who may not have God’s Holy Spirit, but either aren’t aware of that or (even worse) think they already do.

    It’s inspiring to read your story. I’m sorry your husband has not come to God in the same level you have, but one thing I’ve learned is that, if someone isn’t seeking, you can’t really make them see God AND it’s possible it’s not God’s time for them yet. I will certainly keep you in my prayers, however, and your husband. Even if he isn’t seeking God as strongly as you, there’s nothing wrong in praying for him!

    I myself got an "extra portion" of God’s Spirit about a year ago. It was nice before I got that, but since I got more of it (which was not a concept for me until someone mentioned it was possible) – I had the same reaction – WOW! I wish everyone could experience that. God bless, LT

  22. Jodie says:

    (USA) Thanks for your response. I know that my timing for my husband to truly seek GOD and to truly turn his life over to HIM is not going to be the same as GOD’S timing but its very hard to be patient. I don’t want my children to ever know what their dad does. I grew up in a home with parents who were on drugs and selling them. I don’t want my children to ever have to experience that and I don’t want them to ever have to look at their dad differently than they look at him now. I want them to always look up to their dad the way they do now. And I don’t want them to grow up and use what their dad is doing as an excuse for them to do it. Do you know what I mean?

    You know, I know that all of this is in GOD’S hands at all times, and in GOD’S timing, not mine, things will change. I am involved with the jail ministry. This is where we go in to the jails and tell the girls and guys of GOD’S great love and his forgiveness and what HE has done for us on the cross. Anyway, I think that with GOD’S help, my husband would be awesome in this ministry because of the testimony he is going to have once he truly seeks GOD and gives GOD his whole heart, soul, and mind to him.

    I think that you have to have been there to know what it’s like in jail. I have been in jail before only for a weekend but that was long enough for me. And I also have done my fair share of partying too. So the girls in jail can really relate to me. I give GOD thanks because, even though at the time I did not want to be in jail, now I have a amazing testimony to tell them and I also have a heart for them. SO I think that GOD lets some things happen for a reason –not that HE makes bad things happen because our GOD is a loving and good GOD. I just think he lets things happen because he knows the end results. PRAISE GOD!!! So maybe GOD is letting my husband go through and struggle with what he is struggling with, because GOD knows the end results. I just pray that GOD will break these addictions in my husband, sooner rather than later. IN HIS NAME, JODIE

  23. cecilia says:

    (RSA) This is the first time I have entered this website. I really thank God that I found people who listen and support us throughout our difficulties. It’s been 2 years since we got married but my husband has changed a lot. He is so harsh and always angry. He makes no time for me and is very quiet. He no longer goes to church and doesn’t want to pray with me. I am so hurt and I don’t know what to do. Every time I try to talk about this, he gets angry and tells me things will be fine. I have been praying and waiting since August last year. Things seem to be getting worse. I want out of the marriage but I didn’t know how. Every time I thought of packing my bags and going, my heart tells me that I love him and I always feel pity for him. Please pray with me. I really want my marriage to work.

  24. Cindy Wright says:

    Dear Cecilia, You sound like a very loyal and loving wife. Your husband is very blessed to have you. I pray someday he realizes the gift you are to him. He has the potential to learn things he never could have learned if he didn’t have you. That’s one of the reasons God said, “It’s not good for man to be alone.” God recognizes the gifts that a wife brings into the relationship.

    As I read and prayed over your note, a few thoughts came to mind that you might prayerfully consider. The first thought is that your husband obviously knew how to WIN your heart and cause you to fall in love with him in the first place, but he doesn’t seem to know how to KEEP your heart and TEND TO ITS NEEDS now that he has it. He had enough knowledge and energy to know what he wanted and how to get it (you). He fell in love with you and did what it took to win your heart. But beyond that, he’s obviously clueless.

    I doubt that he realized how complex you were as a woman and how you would challenge him and it angers him because he is confused as to what to do with the needs you now express. Your needs are different than his and he’s doesn’t understand this (and right now his mind may even be closed to learning what is beyond his own understanding– but don’t underestimate what God can do in you and through you as you follow the Lord’s leading). Your husband tries to quiet you because he doesn’t want to hear your discontentedness — after-all, it’s a reflection on him and makes him uncomfortable in all his confusion over this situation. Plus, his needs are different than yours. Shortsightedly, he thinks yours should be the same as his. That’s why he says “things will be fine.” He probably thinks that eventually you will settle in to see that his way is the best way and then the problem will be solved, as far as he is concerned. It’s obvious that he doesn’t understand you as a woman or all of what it takes to make a marriage good. Marriage is a partnership, with each bringing their own gifts into it, to make it work the best it can. And your giftedness is different than what he thought, or now thinks, he could embrace. He doesn’t realize what God can do in and through you as you put your hand into His.

    There could be many different reasons why your husband doesn’t know how to show you the love and attention you need. It doesn’t mean that his love for you isn’t deep inside of him, but it may be that he doesn’t know how to properly express it and live it out over the long term (most everyone can do things over the short term). It could be that he was never taught how to be a good husband and/or he never had it modeled for him. Part of the mix of all of what is happening, could be a cultural attitude he has picked up, and/or he has a personality that is relationally-challenged when it comes to interacting in a marriage partnership, as a good marriage demands.

    There are many other reasons why all of this could be. But the fact is that you have a problem here, and you need God to teach you how work within this situation. This is where prayer comes in. Not only do you need to pray for your marriage and for your husband’s spiritual growth, but you also need wisdom as to how to make the best out of this situation, step-by-step, day-by-day — whatever comes your way. God can use you in miraculous ways if you open yourself up to what He can do.

    Your marriage journey will be different than what you ever thought it would be … but then it is with all of us. However, your life is not over. We serve a God who works miracles and can give you wisdom for your particular marriage and wisdom as to how to bring the best out of your husband as well as your partnership. But you need to be very prayerful and deliberate in how you interact with your husband. He doesn’t even realize the treasures you could open up for him in his life. But God knows, and He understands your husband. Go with God, and let the Holy Spirit guide you as your Wonderful Counselor. Don’t look at how other marriages work for them, learn from them what you need to, in order to make YOUR marriage work. Glean and adapt what you can use for your marriage. Our web site, and other things and people God brings your way, will help you as you open your mind and spirit. And don’t limit the time and effort it will take. You will be pushed to your limits at times. However, you can know that God will give you the strength and insight you need as you call upon Him in every situation. Keep in mind that God is “able to do exceedingly above all we ever ask or think” — and that promise is for you as well as it is for everyone else.

    Live out what it says in Proverbs 3: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.”

    I pray God’s blessing upon you and your journey. I pray for you what it says in Philippians 1:9-11 … “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ — to the glory and praise of God.”

  25. Ceclia says:

    (RSA) Cindy you have explained this situation as if you are with us everyday. I thank God for making it so clear to you. I didn’t know how to explain. Our God is good all the time. Thank you for the response. It gives me peace and I will never stop praying. I know that God will answer my prayers in HIS own way. I believe that God has a purpose with my life and it’s not a mistake that I am with my husband. I believe that God will make a way. I will stay on my knees until I find joy, peace, happiness and love in my marriage. I won’t give up because my God is faithful and HE promises that He will NEVER leave us nor forsake us. I will pray no matter what. Thank you for everything. I can see God is in control of my situation through your response. May God richly bless you.

  26. Tarisai says:

    (ZIMBABWE) It’s my first time joining in the discussions and I must say God had a reason for me to open this website. I identified quite a number of issues that used to affect me also in my marriage. I’ve been married for five years and the first four years were difficult. At one point I thought of separation and I had this independence in me. I then read a book on the power of prayer and I started praying to God that I wanted him to save my marriage. I prayed for my husband and told God that I needed him in my marriage and I needed to see the good things in my husband and learn to rekindle what we once had.

    I also had the habit of saying whatever I felt regardless of what my husband felt and caused a lot of problems. In fact it made things worse. But all those things are now things of the past since a I started a relationship with God. Now I’m able to keep quiet where I’m required, because I asked God to open my mouth only when it’s necessary. The few times that we now disagree, I usually keep quiet and just pray to God and the next few minutes or days I see a change in my life.

    I have also seen a change in my husband. Our relationship has greatly improved. I always thank God for the moment that I got to know him better and praise him. My verse that strengthens me more is Philippians 4 vs 13 where it says "I can do all things possible through Christ who strengthens me’. I say to all of you with problems everything is possible through Christ. The loving marriage you desire is possible through the Lord. Tell the Lord your problems and let him take control of your life and you will enjoy your marriage. Don’t limit God every thing is possible. Bridget, I know how you feel for I once felt that way but you can enjoy your marriage just take it to the Lord and don’t limit him and he will bless. Keep on praying.

  27. Hendy says:

    (NAMIBIA) My first time visiting this site. My name is Hendy, from Namibia. I have similar problems with my husband, have been married for a year and a half. We’ve been blessed with another baby again. There are other children too. My husband hasn’t been respecting me, just going without saying where he is heading too. I couldn’t handle this and was talking about it. He is taking alcohol, although he was saved but has back-slidden.

    It became so worse now that I suspect that he is seeing another woman also. He is a very loving, kind and a good husband which any woman can cry for, but only his alcohol and the friends make my life so unbearable. I made a mistake by losing my standing with God because of him. I tried to fix things myself. I’ve realized yesterday that he acquired a second mobile number, to use while away from home, that’s why I couldn’t reach him since the number I know was constantly off! This hurt so much, but with God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE, IF YOU BELIEVE!

    It is hard yes, but I keep on praying. I don’t know how long this will be, but I’ve moved out of the house yesterday, upon finding out about the other woman!! I feel so much betrayed but although it’s hard, I must concentrate on God FROM NOW ON. I’ve neglected my calling, and it might have cost me my marriage! Please learn from my mistake, I pray God for mercy because I still love my HONEY.

    Please pray with me. I will give feedback after God has intervened. Keep on praying for your husbands, it might not be easy but you stand by your calling!!! Know that every woman throughout the world has to be on her knees to save her children and marriage, and the governments. We are the power-sources, stay plugged in!! Be blessed

  28. Emmaculate says:

    (ZIMBABWE) This is my first time on this website. My friend emailed me about this web address after realizing what I have been going through in my marriage for the past three years. My husband does have another woman and child outside our marriage. He also does have other children from previous relationships. He always claims that he loves me. It hurts a lot. Until last year I had lost my faith for quite a number of years. When I decided to go back to church and to start reading the Bible, I felt the power of God working in me. He uplifted me spiritually, I wasn’t working and I got a job. There was a calmness in which I didn’t experience before.

    But the main reason is that my husband’s attitude is still the same and as I am writing this I am thinking of a separation. I have heard enough of his lies. He can go for days without even bothering to come home. I used to get so worked up with his behavior but now I have given up. I hope I get strength from the Lord and from you my friends. Let’s keep praying for each other and give each other strength in these trying times. God Bless

  29. Sue says:

    (SOUTH AFRICA) Hi everyone, I have started reading this book too, a long time ago. And well, I just started slipping away from God more and more, and yet when I think back, while I was praying I can see were God changed my husband. But what I didn’t cover in prayer, has not changed. Today, about 2 weeks ago my husband and I have come to cross roads once again. I have been praying day and night that God will restore my marriage and that we will be reconciled and that God should use me as the tool of reconciliation. However, I have been so "busy" with praying "God please bring us back together again" that I never realized until Monday that what God really wants is for ME to draw closer to HIM. And what a difference that has made.

    God is busy at work within me, and I hope and pray that my husband will see the transformation within in me and we could be reconciled. I love my husband very much, but I love and need God so much more. I just hope that Gods will in my life is what I want too. I don’t want to lose my husband. Someone said to me today "STOP TELLING GOD HOW BIG YOUR STORM IS, START TELLING YOUR STORM HOW BIG YOUR GOD IS".

  30. Tarisai says:

    (ZIMBABWE) Hie everyone. After reading the mails above I noticed that as women we should pray for our husbands, families and each other too. I noticed that in this world we are fighting with the devil and principles of darkness Ephesians 6vs 10-18. The devil is there and if we are not strong in prayer we won’t conquer. The Lord says in Jeremiah 32 vs 27 " “Behold I am the Lord the God of all flesh, is there anything too hard for me."

    I say to all of you is if you read this verse carefully the Lord is telling us to take all our problems to him because there is nothing too hard for him. In Philippians 4 vs 13 he says again that I can do all things possible through Christ who strengthens me. We are able to conquer the devil through prayer and when we pray let us claim the promises in the Bible and you will see what the Lord does. Everything is possible through the Lord. There is nothing that the Lord has no solution for, and we should not tire to pray. The Lord will answer our prayers.

    If you read Psalms 91, the whole chapter, it strengthens you further as it shows that the Lord is there when we think he is not there. Like I highlighted above, we need to pray ladies and we should have faith to believe what you are praying way before the Lord has answered. I think our biggest weakness is not to have faith when praying and setting limits for God that my problem is too big for the Lord. I agree with Sue that we should tell the problem how great our Lord is and seek his power to lead us and deliver us from problems.

    Ladies let us also pray for each and most importantly let us pray with faith for our husbands and children. Don’t give up. The Lord wants people who are patient and persevere up to the end.

    I just want to share with you what happened to me today. I told my husband that I had forgotten to give him some cvs and I would give it to him in the evening. He did not hear clearly what I had said so that it generated into an argument and he started shouting. I did not say anything hurtful and kept quiet and he went on and on about the issue. When I got to work, I prayed and said “Lord, I believe I did not say anything hurtful but if I did or if he did, please help each one of us reflect on the conversation and that person should be able to ask for forgiveness.” 30 minutes later my hubby phoned and apologized for shouting at me. He has never apologized before. It was the first time and I knew that I had not said anything bad for I have learned to keep quiet in arguments until I have cooled down and then I will say words that will not hurt anyone. I said to the Lord thank you for replying my prayer. It made me realize that the Lord is there and is always listening to us. Some prayers are answered instantly, some take time, but what we should never forget is the Lord hears us and will answer our prayers. God Bless

  31. Mary says:

    (ZAMBIA) Tarisai, your comment just came in at the right time. I had an argument with my husband 4 days ago, and we haven’t really been on speaking terms. I take it he is in the wrong and he thinks I was in the wrong. I have had too much bitterness in my heart. However, I have quoted the scriptures you put down and I will read them through and pray that God grants me a forgiving heart.

    The situation at home has been stressful, but I will learn to persevere and be patient with my husband and also pray for him to realize his faults too. Thank you! God bless you and all the women at prayer!!!

  32. Sue says:

    (SOUTH AFRICA) Hi Tarisai, I have found so much encouragement in your letter, but the best of all that I want to share with all you ladies is this, God is powerful !

    It has been almost a month since I wrote my previous comment, and to tell the truth, my husband and I have "separated" since then. By "separated" I mean, we still live in the same house just different bedrooms. I have been praying as Stormie suggested in her book day and night, and I just want to share with each of you what has happened. I truly believe that DIVORCE is NOT an option for any of us, as we are children of God. Therefore I have been praying "as if" my husband and I have been united. I have been through Stormie’s book 3 times and will continue reading it and praying along the same lines.

    My husband and I were not on talking terms when I wrote my previous comment, but we are on talking terms again. Believe it or not our sex life is great, but we aren’t "together" anymore as he says. And he has to keep reminding himself that! My husband is a wonderful person, and would be a great witness – he just has that type of personality that draws people to him – but unfortunately he does not know the Lord as his personal Saviour, but that is going to change VERY soon. I know that God is up to something!!!!

    This last week we have been spending time together as friends and lovers, and I can see that God is changing things between us. Previously where things would have bothered me, now I just couldn’t care less cos I know that it is God’s problem not mine. The Lord is in control. What I really want to say is that PRAYER CHANGES THINGS !!! It really does. I know how much I have grown in the last 3 weeks, its amazing! The Lord is the first thing I think of in mornings when I wake up and the last thought I have at night before I fall asleep.

    I just want to say thanks to those of you who have prayed with me for our marriage to be renewed, restored and transformed. God is breathing HIS LIFE into our marriage! God has given each of us so much to be thankful for. At the moment I am thankful that God will restore and renew my marriage and that my husband will accept God into his life. The power of the Holy Spirit can transform anything or anyone to where God wants them to be, in order to enable us to HEAR HIS VOICE! God bless

  33. Tarisai says:

    (ZIMBABWE) I was so happy when I read about what the Lord has done in Sue’s marriage. The Lord is good and will always be. Sue, this is just the beginning of something big that the Lord wants to do in your life. Keep on praying and he will guide you. Remember the Israelites, the Lord removed them from the house of bondage and placed them in a country of honey and milk and that is exactly what the Lord is doing in your marriage. I will keep on praying for you and the rest of the women out there for our marriages to work and above all to work in God’s direction so that we have Godly marriages.

    Mary, the situation that you have we all have gone through, but what you need to do is keep on praying and through faith everything is possible. God will answer your prayers and give you the most enjoyable marriage. I’m glad that you believe in perseverance, which is important. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and your soul and he will deliver you from pain.

    Ladies, let us all pray for each other and let the Lord strengthen and refine our marriages. God bless and enjoy the Easter holidays and remember Christ died for us because he loves us. If we truly love our husbands we should keep on praying and remember not to say anything hurtful in the heat of the moment, but to calm down first and ask God for advice on how to deal with the situation. That is also the sacrifice that Jesus made for us

  34. Anne says:

    (CANADA) Hi everyone this is my first time on this site. I’ve read a lot of encouraging things and I agree us women need to get down on our knees and pray for our marriages and husbands. I’m reading Stormie’s book now. This is the 2nd time. The 1st time I didn’t comprehend the magnitude of that book since I was still in my "honeymoon" stage.

    I’ve been married for 2 yrs now and things went from great to almost ending the marriage. We grew distant and I felt my husband didn’t provide for my emotional needs. The more I talked, the more he withdrew. He told me his needs and I was always defensive. Then another woman came into our marriage and that destroyed me. When I confronted him, he lied, shut down, and became cold and distant. He moved out of the room and said the marriage was over. The pain was so much. Then I called out to God. At first I couldn’t feel Him and I realized I had to ask for forgiveness.

    I asked God to show me what I did wrong, and that is when He directed me to read the book again. And oh my, what I learned from that chapter of the wife, is how much I disrespected my husband! I cried out to God to forgive me and that’s when I started realizing that God had to change me first before He would change my husband. It was still a painful time and my faith was tested. Satan didn’t want me to prevail. I knew it was a battle.

    When I had gotten to the point where I had had enough, I decided to leave and that is when God opened the door. My husband wrote me an email and said he was sorry and wanted to work on the marriage. I hadn’t seen that coming… but God is great.

    We have since seen our pastor and have asked each other for forgiveness. It’s not easy because he’s still struggling with a lot of things and I still get angry about the affair. I just want to hurt the other woman. Just pray with me so that I may forgive her and find healing. This is where patience and perseverance comes in. I always read the book of James 1:2-3. I would like to suggest some books that are helping me now:

    1. Praying Through the Deeper Issues of Marriage (Stormie Omartian).
    2. How to Save Your Marriage Alone (Ed Wheat)
    3. Love and Respect (Dr Emerson Eggerichs) This book is great! If you can get your husband to read it, that would be great. Mine doesn’t read books, but I’m praying.

    Thank you all so much. It’s nice to communicate with women who are fighting for their marriages because some of the advice I’ve been getting, was to leave my husband. But God told me otherwise. Let’s continue to pray for each other and support each other. May God bless you all you’re all truly strong women.

  35. LT says:

    (USA)  Thank you Anne for your lovely testimony!

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