Decades of Marriage: What I’ve Learned

Marriage Learned AdobeStock_69789537 copyToday, March 18, Cindy and I (Steve) are celebrating our anniversary. We married each other on March 18, 1972. (You can do the adding yourself.) I remember thinking as I stood watching Cindy walk down the aisle, “Whoa! I am the luckiest guy on earth!” Even as I write this I can close my eyes and see my beautiful redhead walking toward me. Tears fill my eyes because I’m so grateful for the years God has given us together in this journey of life. We’ve sure learned a lot —thank God! Without God’s help we probably wouldn’t have made it this far.

I can’t condense everything I’ve learned in 45 years of marriage here, but here are a few:

What I’ve Learned

  • I’ve learned …a wedding is a party. It’s a great party, but it doesn’t make a marriage. A marriage is journey filled with tremendous highs and horrible lows. But if we plow through the lows and NOT give up, it’s a GREAT journey. It has been that for us, with all the highs and lows included. We have learned through them.
  • I’ve learned …that those tremendous highs came because of God. We know we would have never survived those horrible lows without Jesus Christ at the center of our lives.
  • I’ve learned …whatever successes I’ve had in this life came because of my relationship with God. I’ll never be the man, nor the husband God wants me to be if I don’t continually turn to Him. But turning to Him does not make a good marriage. I’ve had to APPLY what God has taught me.
  • I’ve learned …I CAN change. This happens as long as my spirit is open, looking to God to help me to change when I know I should. [NOTE: It starts with a humble/broken heart and PRAYER.]


  • I’ve learned …how important it is to have the last words you speak to one another when you part during the day and before you go to sleep at night be, “I LOVE YOU!” (Remember, we are never promised another day, hour, or minute of life.)
  • I’ve learned … that vacuuming, washing the dishes, filling Cindy’s car with gas, rubbing her feet when they hurt are all forms of true love that touches her heart☺. [NOTE: I get extra “points” when I watch romantic movies (chick flicks) with Cindy.]
  • I’ve learned … that by showing Cindy how much I CHERISH her it continually strengthens our relationship even after 45 years of marriage. [For more on how to do this see Marriage Insight: Do You Cherish Your Spouse.]
  • There’s one thing I’ve/we’ve learned through these 45 years together that has had the single greatest impact: We are committed to pray together as a couple every day. Prayer is what has held us together when everything else was pulling us apart at the seams. Prayer has been the healing balm when one of us “hurt” the other. It is the unifying force in our marriage. If there’s nothing else you take from these things I’ve “learned,” husbands —take this and start today!

We Still Do…

Lastly, Cindy:

“I Steve still take you, Cindy, to be my wife every day God gives me breath. I will give thanks to God every day we have together to share in this life. It doesn’t matter what comes I will continue to cherish you for the person God made you to be. And I PROMISE you I will ALWAYS work to be the husband God wants me to be for you. May we, together, reveal and reflect the love of Christ through our marriage relationship to everyone God brings into our lives.”

To those who read this Insight, we pray. “May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy.(Colossians 1:11)

Steve and Cindy Wright

— ALSO —

For a little background on our love story please read:


And then, while we rest on our “laurels” of being married so many years, here is a couple who have been married much, much longer. They have been married almost 85 years (and counting). Here is an article with some of their marriage tips:


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5 responses to “Decades of Marriage: What I’ve Learned

  1. May God continue to bless you Steve and Cindy. What a tremendous pleasure it is for me as a relatively new bride to hear of and see the Hand of God in your lives. Keep walking in Christ as He allows you all to bless the world through your work. Blessings be upon you.

    1. Thanks Cassie, we really appreciate it! I pray the Lord blesses your marriage as He has ours.

  2. Here are a few of the (many) comments we received through emails, which were sent directly to our ministry (although we prefer people to comment directly on this web site). However, these comments were so kind, and some of them even gave marriage tips:

    — My name is Sors the Afrikaans for George. We married on 24 December 1964. So with our 5 Children their wives and ten Grandchildren we could commemorate a wonderful, blessed 52 years. I am just going to underline your inspirational letter to say that we agree God bless. Thank you for sharing. Love from someone who is loved by Father God just as He loves Jesus and you and Cindy as well.

    — Sarah wrote: Thank you so much. I pray that when I get marry, my relationship with my husband will be extra ordinary by the power of God.

    — Lindiwe From South Africa wrote: Blessed day Men and Women of the Most High God, Wishing you a blessed anniversary. You are a blessing to God’s Kingdom. May the Almighty continue use you as His vessels of honour and give you more wisdom as you continue with His Mission in this planet earth.

    — Karin (and Victor) from Namibia wrote: Congratulations and may God’s favour rest on you for many more years. Our 45th wedding anniversary is coming up, on 15th June. Thank you for your weekly teaching, encouragement and motivation.

    — Cathy from RSA wrote: Congratulations….you are truly an inspiration, God has used you to work miracles in our marriage. May He continue blessing you with wisdom in your ministry.

    — Peter from South Africa wrote: Hi Steve & Cindy, Thank you for sharing your life, it has been inspirational for me & My wife, We thank God for your Life. We wish you a Joyful and God filled 45th anniversary, continue being God’s vessel of Love shown to us young Couples so that we continue worshiping him in Spirit and truth.

    — Thega & Sashni from South Africa wrote: Wow …Steve & Cindy, congratulations on your 45 years anniversary. May God continuously bless you both for your sharing and for keeping the covenant. One of life’s many lessons is manners, while we remember to say please when we want something, too often we forget to say thank you. With this in mind I just want to say thank you for sharing the experiences you had and the wisdom. I am so overwhelmed with happiness because after 18 years of marriage my wife started classes 2 years ago and is going to be baptized, confirmed & receive Holy Communion on the 15/04/2017. You guys are awesome, love and God bless.

    — Naomi wrote: Dear Steve and Cindy, Congratulations!!! May God continue to strengthen and sustain your marriage as you allow Him to use you to strengthen other marriages. God bless you beyond measure.

    –Thana and Dirk from South Africa wrote: Steve and Cindy congratulations and may God bless you with many more blessed years together. You really are an inspiration to us.

    – Marcella from Namibia wrote: Hi Steve and Cindy, Let me rather be late than never in wishing you a happy and blessed anniversary, may there be many happy returns. You are a good example to me, i am learning a lot from your postings, keep on shining and may the Lord enlarge your territory. Be blessed.

    — From Oyinkansola: Happy wedding anniversary!!!!!!! Thank you for sharing so much yet little of your love journey. I always have and still look forward to starting mine. God bless and keep you both. Love you loads.

  3. Hi, my name is Glenn. It’s a Sunday afternoon here in North Arkansas. My wife is taking a nap and I’m working on my Memoirs and some material for my ministry to couples. Our focus is on couples 20-38. I’ve seen over 9,000 people by appointment over the past 32 years.

    Jo Ann and I have been married 55 years, and I can say with a clear conscience that our relationship has never been in trouble. We have had sadness and anger, but never even considered separation. I attribute our wonderful marriage to just a few fundamental things. 1.) Neither of us was ever in a physical relationship with any other person. 2.) We have been faithful to each other with no compromise. When we married, we made a vow that we would never place the other ahead of God. This has been difficult but to the most part we have kept it. 3.) We have said and done things that hurt each other, but quickly apologized.

    Our Ministry to couples has been messy, but great. As my bride of 55 years sleeps, and I realize we are both living in the Sundown of life, I have two major regrets. 1.) Our time together has been fleeting, and too short. 2.) I wish I had given her more of me and not so much to other people. God’s amazing grace has sustained us through it all.