The following are “Real Life” testimonies from people who have dealt with the heart-break of what Emotional Infidelity can do to a marriage.
We believe you will learn through what they have to say and will prayerfully find hope through reading their stories. Pray, read, and Learn. We pray you will!
EMOTIONAL INFIDELITY TESTIMONIES
• Allowing Wrong Thoughts is a Dangerous Step to Take
• I Didn’t Want My Husband Anymore
• Could I Forgive His Emotional Affair?
If God has given you a testimony which you could share with others, that may help them and encourage them somehow, we would love to hear from you— even if your testimony isn’t very long in length.
Please share your testimony with us by going to the CONTACT section and clicking on “Contact Us” and then writing it out for us there.
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(USA) Hi Chris, still out there? Just checking to see how you are doing.
(UNITED STATES) In the midst of the mess, we hear of the bad things, so I am trying to make sure that I tell of the blessed things that has happened in me and my spouse’s life to help give reassurance and hope to those waiting for their breakthrough. My husband has finally listened to God’s voice and says that he is so glad that I continued to pray satan out of his life and his lifestyle.
Since my husband has been back home we had to start counseling to try to understand the emotional affair that he had and to explore how to keep things from not going that way again. Our pastor is seeing us on a regular basis and we have also made arrangements to start going to marriage retreats that are available with other churches here. When I told him about Bob and Charlene and how their ministry has helped me reveal some things to myself about me and that everything was not on his back as to why things were not going the way they should in our family, he now wants to meet them.
We never knew that there was such a powerful ministry here and I am always impressed on how they realize that Florida is a popular vacation spot and a place where most people travel and is a perfect place to start a marriage ministry that is just as bold as they are to sponsor billboards for prodigals. So in addition to us hitting the coast, we plan on taking that 2 hour trip to visit their ministry… mainly to meet the man and woman of God that is helping those who are praying and seeking for restoration in their marriages as well as keeping the focus on God who is a healer above all healers. The kids are excited about his return and I am too. Thank you Lord, for hearing me and the kid’s prayers.
(USA) Can I first say I thank God for this website? It has been great support for me knowing that I am not alone in the struggles I am having in my marriage. Today my flesh is telling me to just walk way but my spirit is telling me to cry out to the Lord and let him handle it. My husband is a Christian, but I think satan has him blinded. He does not see how his relationship that he has with this woman is damaging and has damaged my trust and has broken the foundation of our marriage.
I have asked him to stop talking, texting and end all forms of communication with her. We have had many discussions regarding this person yet she is still in his life. I am tired of this. In every other area of our marriage my husband is great, he is loving,supportive, attentive,thoughtful and kind. But I feel all of that is fake because he will not end or has not ended this relationship which he refers to as “just friends”. He will not go to counseling because he says this is not a problem.
I think it is a very big problem when another woman calls your husband, sweetie, baby, my boo, handsome, tells him she misses him and that she loves him. And has done nothing to stop it. How is it that your spouse, whom you share your time, money, life, body etc with tells you that you are not allowed to go through their cell phone? His favorite line is “you are always looking for stuff” meaning that I looking for things to accuse him of.
I thank God for the positive people that know my situation (few trusted believers) who are helping me pray through this, but I am embarrassed to keep coming to them about the same thing. I have warned my husband via the Word that God is not mocked and he his going to have to give an account for what he is doing and so will she, she knows how I feel about her, yes we have spoken and is supposed to be married. Where is her husband in all of this? I would like to know. I know that God is terrible in his judgment. You don’t want the ones you love to suffer under the hand of God but if that is what it takes for them to come to repentance then what can you do but ask God to have mercy.
Pray for me. My husband continues to lie to me. Every time I think it is over. I find out they are still in communication.
Hi Mae, I don’t know if you will read this or not, your comment was a few years ago now. My husband and me have been together for 12 years. We have been married for almost 7 years. He had a nervous breakdown around Christmas time. He started an emotional affair with a woman he works with who is 23 years older than him. It turned into a physical affair, which he felt really bad about, still hasn’t apologised to me, though. Now he says they’re just friends, but friends do not text for the amount of time that they do, first thing in the morning, on and off during the day, every night, plus working together and seeing each other twice a week out of work.
I am feeling so hurt by it, but if I say anything about it he flies into a temper and scares me. I am sure the Devil has him blinded to what is going on. He has shut out all of our Christian friends and will only talk to her. He doesn’t see the problem and tells me I’m trying to push his friend away. Worst of all he is trying to get me to be friends with the woman. A couple of our trusted Christian friends know about this, but I feel so lost. This woman is coming between us in our marriage and my husband can’t see it.
There is nothing that I can say to him that will make him rethink his ways. I’m praying that the Lord will show him that what he’s doing is wrong and is hurting me, although at the moment he doesn’t seem to care how I feel. It’s heartbreaking.
(USA) Hi Mae, why haven’t you told her husband yet? I did that. My Husband confessed he had an emotional affair, but as it turned out it was a full blown affair and yes I told her husband bringing it to an end. I still don’t trust him this is his second affair that I’m aware of. I would do that first and see if that crumbles the relationship.
(USA) Hi Lessonlearned. That is the problem. I don’t know if she has a husband. That may have been another lie. If I could I would have contacted him. It is amazing. I log on to this site for inspiration often. Nothing has really changed. I am still going through. He continues to hide his phone from me. If he takes a shower, goes in the bathroom or the next room he takes it.
I am going to try a few more options like a Couples seminar and counseling for myself and ask someone who I know he trusts, and will listen to, to talk to him. If there are no changes well, I feel like I have some very tough decisions to make. I love him, I want a life with him. We were planning to start a family, but how can I build on a foundation that is broken?
Like I said before, other than this he is a wonderful young man and it will hurt me so deeply, but I feel his is not honoring our vows. We both promised to “forsake all others.” Not to the extreme where you can’t talk to the opposite sex, but you know, have respectful boundaries. Respecting your spouse. I will continue to pray for God’s guidance but I am almost at the end of my rope. October will be one year since I confronted him about this “person” and nothing has changed. Really it has gotten worse. Pray for Him and pray for me.
(USA) Hi Mae, finding out if she’s married shouldn’t be that hard. Do you have access to his phone bill? What I did was get her number then went to the web site to Anywho Reverse Phone Search, typed in the number, got names and the address. I found out she was married, called her husband and told him what was going on. That squashed that relationship.
My husband would also protect his cell phone. But I was too blind at that time to see what was going on. Just found out recently it wasn’t just a buddy kind of friendship. The signs are everywhere. Check his under clothes too. I don’t think this "friendship" can be just a friendship when hes hiding his phone from you, and her calling him pet names. I would log everything, but do get a hold of the phone bill. If your name is also on the account, set up an online account. You will have access to the bill without him knowing.
(USA) Hi Lessonlearned. It is amazing how women turn into detective mood when we have been hurt. I believe God has wired us that way. Just searching for the truth that our husbands won’t give us. I don’t understand if you don’t want to be with me then just say so. Or if you have fallen and have gotten caught, just be honest. If you want the relationship tell the truth then your spouse can make have a clear mind as to how to proceed. It’s not to say he or she won’t still leave but at least save them from additional hurt from lying and most importantly, God only can work with you when you are honest. There can be no restoration without confession. God himself requires that of us before we have a relationship with him. Then if God requires that and a marriage is a reflection of God’s relationship with us/his church than the same goes for the spouse.
Well, I have all the evidence I need. I can put something in front of his face and he will not tell the truth. And the spirit is telling me that is his problem he has to deal with God about. Honestly, I believe most of us are guilty of a lie once in a while. It doesn’t make it right. But my husband has lied to me too many times regarding this “friend”. The other night was enough for me. Therefore I am preparing to leave today.
I don’t want a divorce. I love my husband very much and I really hope it does not lead to that. I feel like I have to do something to let him know you can’t just disrespect me with this “friend” and think it is okay. I am keeping my heart open to hear God and will do my best to keep the lines of communication open between he and I but I have to be clear with him as long as she is in his life then we can’t be together.
I am trying to brace myself for the painful days ahead. I don’t want to face them but I can’t go on like this. One day and one prayer at a time. Please, please pray for me that God’s will be done in my marriage. And I will the same for all of you.
(USA) Hi Mae, I’ll be praying for you. I think you are doing the right thing. Tough love. I swore after his second affair I would not stay with him, but we have 2 young children and I can’t bare to see their world crumble over his immature actions. What makes this so hard is the woman he had the affair with was a friend of mine who does daycare at the school my children attend. To save the marriage we are considering moving North where my husband is from. I told him I’m afraid though if it happens again then I’m stuck out there with no support system.
I guess one good thing came out of it she is now working things out with her husband. I just don’t understand how men & women can so easily sleep or have an interest in someone who is married. I asked my husband why a married women with a family; he said it was easier because they are less demanding than a single woman. I told him to get out when I thought he was having an emotional affair he agreed to leave, but then told me it was an emotional affair.
So hard as it was I was willing to work it out, until his story just wasn’t panning out. See, he was protecting her and lying to me. So it was like going through it all over again. I did confront her and she tried to lie to me but I told her I knew everything that happened and I was going to call her husband & tell the Pastor, which I did. I think she was very remorseful. But all the lies she told me when I confided in her makes it a challenge to forgive. I know I have to and believe me I work on it daily.
I know I would never do that to another woman, but I’m a sinner too in other ways and God sees sin as sin he doesn’t label it like we do. I wish you well Mae; that pain is terrible. Just know I’m here if you need to talk. Take care.
(USA) I was blessed to come upon this site. My husband of 26 years had an emotional affair with a coworker. He talked of her constantly and even made me start to like her as a person. When he kept talking about switching jobs and taking her with him, I grew concerned. Then he gave her roses and told me about it. He then told me she reciprocated with a single rose.
To make a long story short, she called even when on vacation with her husband, and he even left our table on our anniversary to speak with her on the phone. But he insists it was only friendship. The most he has ever said is that he is sorry “it” bothered me, and finally did admit he “became too friendly.” But that is it.
It is a year to the day he gave her roses. My heart hurts as much as it ever did. He has left that job and did promise to have no communication with her. I do not know however, if that is true with emails and cell phones and all… I learned a few months ago she left her husband while my husband is her “best friend.” She is now divorced.
He is pleasant. But when I told him I would like to have roses some day, he threw a fit and said he will leave if I don’t trust him.
I don’t know where I stand, really. I think about the hurt all the time and find it impossibile to enjoy myself at all. When and how can I get over this? Thank you. Tess
(US) The “I had an Emotional Affair” My feedback: this “Alex” was no friend and acted unbiblically. If one sees a brother offended, or overtaken in a fault – what Scripture says is “go to his in-laws and tell all.” So the author is publically humiliated –though he didn’t commit adultery, while the wife looks like a martyr and the in-laws (likely) look down their noses at the husband forever, when in fact they were a large part of the problem with the marriage. What a crock!
This so called friend was totally out of line. No one in the church today knows how to handle things biblically so they do the best they can with “leaning on their own understanding.”
Furthermore, while not condoning the author’s actions –how in the world could his wife expect to continue cutting him off emotionally and sexually and expect any other result? What a crock again!
Frankly the whole article was poorly done and unbiblically resolved. It irritated me. Had I been in the author’s place, the first thing I would have done is let this Alex know that he was an untrustworthy, unfaithful friend. Obviously, being faithful was something he was good at. Maybe his church should look at discipline for his being a gossip.
(USA) I posted my comment back in August regarding my situation. I am disappointed to say that nothing has changed. I am in no way disappointed in God. I believe prayer works and I will continue to pray. I did leave for like two days; he asked my to come back and he said he chose me over the other person.
However, that is what he said with his lips. I know for a fact the is still in communication with her. And I can not say that at this point their “friendship” is an just emotional one. But through it all I am CONFINDENT in Christ. I know that I have the Truth which is the word of God on my side no matter how he lies to me. I don’t care how he thinks he is getting by but he must come to repentance if he wants the power of God to be active in his life. Satan has a stronghold on him that only God can break.
I love him dearly and he really is a great guy but he needs deliverance. I begin to read a book called Sarced Marriage I love it. Marriage is a tool to make you Holy. So I am going to trust God to help me make the right decisions. Please pray for me and him as I do for you all. Thank you.
(USA) I am one of these men you gals talk about. I fell in love with someone about a year ago. I am married for over 20 years. I separated from my wife for 4 months but I came back last month. My relationship with the other woman was most awesome but over time she became a user of my money, time and emotions. I am now depressed.
(USA) David, Perhaps the other was always a user of your money time and emotions, and it didn’t register until you were low. Let it go and take care of yourself.
(USA) I’m trying so hard to get over my husband’s emotional affair with a co-worker… I just feel lost, alone, extremely depressed… He was so defensive when I found out – citing the usual “she’s just a friend – am I not allowed to have any friends?!” He turned his daughter against me & even had her call his “friend” to confirm that I was just “way too jealous.” It’s been a terrible year. I lost a husband, a step daughter, and a grandson.
When I had evidence that they had been “sexting” each other, he finally confessed. He gave me the expected “I love you – I want you – I’ll give her up”, I wanted to believe. He even promised me that he had told his daughter the truth (which, if he had, she would have been the first to call to apologize for calling the other woman – hasn’t happened, so just another lie). Unfortunately, every 2-3 months, they’re back at it – February was the last time I caught him.
A marriage without trust is hell. We are still together for now, but (I think) only because of my 3 daughters and newborn granddaughter. To be perfectly honest – even though I can’t imagine my life without him – if I could pay our mortgage and afford to take care of the girls and make my car payment – I think I would tell him to leave.
I’ve been a single mom before, but not with a mortgage – and I don’t want my girls to lose their first “real” home. My sister calls me crazy for going through it, but my “mother instinct” tells me to make sure my girls have a home. He promised to find another job and get away from his “best friend” a year ago… guess it’s convenient to blame it on the economy and stay close to her at work.
In the meantime, every day of my life (he usually works 6-7 days a week) I have to deal with the fact that he’s spending the majority of his life with her…
(SOUTH AFRICA) I never thought, in a million years, that I would spend a Saturday night reading through blogs like this trying to make sense of what my marriage has become after 26 years of assuming that we were in a great relationship. A week ago a filthy sex charged sms was sent, in error, to my sisters phone. She showed me in disgust and I did not think anything more of it. The next morning my 24 year old son picked up that the sms came of his dad’s phone, my husband. I still thought, impossible it must be a network error, we live in Africa this type of thing happens.
When I contacted vodacom to investigate and to trace it, my husband owned up. He first lied to me telling me that it was meant for me which was impossible. Then he confessed a bit more… he apparently picks up young college girls from the townships and then they swap cell numbers. They then, for the lift or some airtime engage in phone sex. I then did a 7 month itemized billing request on his phone and was horrified to see this is done on a daily basis and there are so many women. I asked him if he had a physical relationship with any of these women as Aids is rife in SA and I will now have to be tested. He denied this categorically and insists its only phone sex.
I then managed last night to get hold of the latest girl he has been texting and she said to me it is my husband, not her as she only wanted a lift. She said he harrasses her and told her he is divorced and he would like to have an affair with her. She also told me he phoned her from another number yesterday as he told her his phone is being investigated. This girl is only about 17 years old and my husband is 49??? I confronted my husband and he said he did use another phone but this was to tell her to stop bothering him. I asked him why used another phone if you are coming clean. He said he did not want to upset me further.
I am devastated and do not know what to do. This has been carrying on for about 8 months. I suppose I could ask for older billings to see how long. My husband has been sleeping elsewhere for the past few days but now has to come home tomorrow. I have begged him to go elsewhere and I noticed he is now shifting the blame to me saying our sex life was insufficient, which is not true. He initially admitted he has a problem; he has now changed his stance. He also cannot seem to understand that even though he did not have physical sex with all these women, his sms’s certainly implied that this is what he wants. The fact that these girls are so young shocks me to the core. All I want is for him to go far away. Financially he can afford to do this. I know once he is back home I am really going to battle to get him out. I am just tooo angry to deal with this rationally at the moment. All I do is investigate these calls. Can anyone help me out there?
(USA) I had become suspicious of my husband’s activities with a member of his church, but when I confronted him, of course he denied it all. I finally found the evidence I needed (cell phone bill and emails) then again confronted him, at which time he confirmed the adultery. We are Christians and my husband is active in the ministry at his church. The other woman is part of his ministry team, and I do know her well. Additionally I’m battling uncurable cancer and have felt so alone in this battle. I have had no support from my husband, nor anyone else to lean on. I left my family, friends and supporters to move 2500 miles to marry him. I guess I feel somewhat like Elizabeth Edwards. However in my case no child is involved.
I have forgiven my husband, but I still suffer from anger, betrayal, hurt and mistrust. I do not throw it up in his face, badger him with questions, or try to punish him. I’m deeply bothered though by his attitude that he “made a mistake”, so I should forgive him and all is good. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way and I still have to work through the hurt and betrayal. His first wife cheated on him, told him how good it was then decided to leave him 20 years ago. He told me how hurt and worthless that made him feel and how he even considered suicide. During our courtship we promised each other that we would not bring that kind of pain into our marriage.
The problem I’m having is that I told my husband that in order for us to move on, heal and restore our marriage he would have to remove himself from the other woman and drop all contact with her. That meant he would have to give up his ministry work where she is involved, the Church, Bible study, etc. He balked at this for weeks, but I could not stand handling the burden of their infidelity on me any longer and went to talk to the pastor. I felt like here I was, the victim, but I was shouldering all their sin because no one else knew about it and he wanted to perserve his reputation. The pastor agreed with me that they should not work together and removed them from thier ministry work. He told my husband that his priorities were to be God, then his wife before the ministry and that he needed to work on restoring and healing the marriage. This put my husband in a funk and he took to bed and eating junk because he felt he had nothing in his life to do. I was made to feel guilty… that I was the reason he lost his ministry. After he popped out of his funk, we began working on restoration, but on a weekend trip we took to get away from it all, I caught him making a phone call to her, which put us back at square one.
I love my husband and want our marriage to survive, but he doesn’t seem to understand that I don’t need depression and anxiety in my life while dealing with cancer. After counseling, the pastor has given his okay for my husband to again start up his ministries, and wants us to become a ministry team. I do not want to see or be around the other woman who still goes to that church. It will just conjure up bad feelings, delay the healing process and cause additional anxiety. I’m willing to attend another church, the mega-church we attended until 2 years ago, but my husband wants to stay at the smaller church, where he has a position and can do God’s work.
I’m standing on God’s word for healing, “by his stripes we are healed.” However, until that healing is manifested, I’m doing what I can to stay as positive as I can and not knealing down to depression and hopelessness. Dealing with the cancer, the infidelity and the continuing connection with the other woman is just a lot for me to bear.
By the way, he told me the reason he strayed was that we had grown apart over the years and he didn’t feel we could get back together. However he never mentioned this nor did he come to me to get things back on track.
Please keep us in your prayers! We seem to be doing better except for him wanting to go back to the church where the other woman is.
(USA) I have a situation and would welcome any feedback from people who have walked this road as well. My pastor husband and I have been married for almost 19 years. The past several years have been a struggle financially, emotionally and otherwise. This left us very distant and I found myself building walls and shutting him out. We just were not there for each other, and often times, I was mean and cruel to him.
About 6 months ago, he began becoming emotionally connected to one of the leaders of our small church. I did not know it at the time, but he was confiding in her intimate things about what was going on with him and also with our marriage. He has told me that this went on for a couple of months, but then he came to his senses and told her that it was not right and I guess so-called ‘ended’ the emotional affair.
Shortly after this, God began to transform and heal our marriage. But in this healing process, I have learned of his emotional involvement with this other woman. He adamently assures and reassures me that there is nothing going on between them anymore and that it was a bad choice he made in a very dark and lonely time in his life. I believe him, because I too have had an emotional connection with someone many years ago. I have forgiven him and we are doing better than we have in many years.
But, here’s the problem… this woman is still a leader in our church. We still have regular contact with her and her family. I feel awkward and uncomfortable everytime we are around her. I feel myself watching them to see if I detect a connection still there. He is very careful to keep their relationship distant and conversations are mainly based on ministry topics. But she is a close family friend and her family and our family are often at the same events, as well. It is very difficult for me to deal with. I keep thinking it will get easier, but it hasn’t.
I believe my husband is staying away from her and totally committed to me and our family, but I have a really hard time having her be a part of our life. What should I do? Is it unrealistic of me to demand that she not be part of our lives? I don’t even know if this is possible. Help!
(US) I feel very much in your same situation. Always err on the side of forgiveness, but be very wise. Our family’s contacts have diminished dramatically and my husband understands if I have to leave the room or sanctuary at church. He doesn’t expect me to always be the one holding the brave face. But he does remind me of the fact that his was emotional, and not the all consuming type… we caught it early. But it’s still hard to hear him perform a wedding and hear the part of “forsaking all others…” Sometimes I think I need counseling… sometimes I think I just need to lean on Holy Spirit more. God bless you.
(US) My pastor husband of 22 years… 20 in ministry chose to ignore warning flags and followed his sin to an emotional attachment with our children’s director. What was so bad is that he and her husband were close friends. I appreciated her as a hard worker on my husband’s staff. She began talking to him, just like any other member would, about her marriage problem. What made them both ignore the red flags was that the staff had all been working together to begin running to all get fit and encourage our church members to do the same. This meant they had something in common. I did not think it was wrong since they weren’t alone, there were other staff running too. Now I realize that ANY activity which fosters companionship between two married people who are not married to each other is simply dangerous.
Within 2 months I already had that gut feeling. But here’s a twister for you. My husband has always struggled with jealousy and I abhor how he would treat me at times with ridiculous questions and even false accusations. That made me quiet my gut when I probably should have questioned. However, one weekend I was trying to be kind and he was all jumpy. I knew then. He started in on me how I am not his cheerleader enough. Although I know I am not always the wife I should be, we truly weren’t having major problems. We had just had a beautiful vacation with our family. Imagine my grief when I found he had texted her a few times during our vacation.
Long story short, we tried to work through it, he truly had a contrite spirit. At the time both couples met and we all agreed that it we had caught it at the beginning and felt ok to work through it. Big problem: the emotional adulterers are so ashamed of their sin that they don’t want to talk about it… which is just what the injured party needs. Now two years later, I have more ill feelings for the woman because whenever I tried to talk to her, although she would admit it was sin, she always seemed to defend… as if I were calling her a slut or something. I am not sure now if it is even Biblical for them to still be working at the same place. But what pastor wants to leave a congregation in the middle of a building program?
My husband has done so much to assure me of his shame for his sin, his love for me, and really does a great job. I must admit, I feel very loved and cherished by him. He put up many protective hedges. The staff doesn’t even go out together anymore for birthdays, etc. But the woman does not help me feel secure and so it is awkward now because our church is not huge and I just really don’t like her or even want to be in her presence. I feel so judged by her because I still insist on hedges and call her out if she crosses them. That makes me unforgiving, I guess. So now I struggle with am I really unforgiving and holding grudges or am I doing the right thing. I just pray our building gets completed and miraculously paid for shortly so we can leave. As unethical as I think it is for them to work together, I also think it is unethical for a leader to leave a congregation in the middle of a building program. I keep praying that i can love like Jesus.
Bless your heart, Peg. I’m so sorry you have had to go through this in your marriage. I’m so sad for you. As a Pastor’s wife, I GREATLY encourage you to contact the ministry of Thrivingpastor.org, which is a ministry of Focus on the Family, specifically there to minister to pastors and their families. I believe they will be able to help you to work through a lot of this in the way you need. It seems that you have done many things that are good and sound in helping your marriage to recover, but there may still be more that they can suggest in their counsel to you.
Please know, though, that it is not “unforgiving” to insist that hedges NOT be crossed. Please go into the “Bitterness and Forgiveness” topic of this web site to read through the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation and trust issues. There is a lot of misunderstandings, in this issue. Your making sure this woman doesn’t cross over the protective hedges that need to be in place so the affair is no longer fed, is wise, not unforgiving. You are being cautious, as you should be, and wise in being alert to any type of connection that could be fed. And considering that this is all new and fresh, it’s not surprising that you are struggling with raw feelings. All of this needs time and work, on both yours and your husband’s parts to work through them so that they don’t sabotage your relationship.
Having “no contact” is best for all parties involved, but because of the circumstances, I understand your hesitancy. Still, the Thriving Pastor ministry may be able to help you think everything through in an even deeper way. I hope so, I pray so. I also pray for you and your husband –that God will help to unite you in tenderness of love for one another, so you value each other and your marriage, in growing ways more than ever before. I pray too, that God infuses hope into your hearts that you will eventually experience better days –ones that will bring smiles to both of your hearts together.
(US) I appreciate your comments and direction because I know I have a root of bitterness. It really is hard to separate protectiveness and bitterness because I am not openly hateful…I still volunteer in the children’s ministry. I was extremely gracious when we first found out and now I feel that the grace extended was cheapened by my observation that she doesn’t seem to understand that her friendship was a springboard for the emotional affair. We have had open communication for a while because I made sure. Now I am just tired of being the one to make sure things are right when I didn’t bring this into our lives. I have since stopped trying to keep contact open, I am letting her be the one to make the effort. Unfortunately, she makes no effort and that feels like a double whammy. It makes me wish I had let her have it when when we first found out instead of being so gracious.
In the meantime, I am not acting bitter at church, it is not their fault at all. We have a loving congregation who knows my husband had a problem with lust…he confessed and was forgiven. I just can’t talk about this to my closest dearest friends because they know he sinned against me but they don’t know with whom and I dont want to do that to her family. But I know I am getting frailer inside because I have begun to hate myself since I cannot seem to love like Jesus and behave as if it never happened. I am so aware of I Corinthians where love keeps no record of wrong…sorry…needed to vent.