There’s a war being waged against our marriages. And it’s something we need to be aware of and combat in whatever way we can. This is something that Cindy and I have been aware of for a number of years. The enemy of our faith would like nothing better than to get us to wage war against each other and ultimately, bring our marriage down. The same is true for your marital relationship. We must be aware of these attacks on our marriages.
The more and more divorce “casualties” and crippled Christian marriages there are around, the better it is for those who are working for the Powers of Darkness. There IS a war going on to attack our marriages. There’s no doubt about it.
“Our enemy has a very determined agenda, and destroying your marriage is high on his list of things to do. Too many believers are losing this battle, not because it cannot be won, but because they cannot see the path to victory. The good news is that for every marriage killer and for every mountain the enemy builds to discourage you, a Savior stands ready to help you.” (Jentezen Franklin)
The War and Attacks on Marriages
I was recently thinking of an analogy to explain this war. I was thinking of how a Navy War Ship is always in harm’s way when it’s at sea. That’s its job. Every sailor on board knows there are enemy subs, ships and planes that COULD attack them at any time.
So, they train on:
(1) How to avoid those circumstances (to the best of their ability).
(2) They also train to know what they must do IF and WHEN they are attacked. This helps to minimize the risk of loss of life or sinking their ship.
The comparative picture I get is that a Christian married couple, from the moment the vows are finished, is in harm’s way for the rest of their lives together. A big problem with this is that we don’t recognize this fact. So, we go along as if all is well. But it isn’t. The enemy of our faith will try to torpedo and sink the marriage at every opportunity.
If we learn to stay out of the “dangerous waters” (temptation, etc.) as much as possible we lower the chances of being sunk. But we must also develop a “survival strategy” —in advance of an attack. This way we have the procedures in place for how we will respond when the enemy slips through our protective barriers and our marriage is “hit” with life-threatening torpedoes.
Attacks on Our Marriages are Real!
Here are a few things to prayerfully consider as you live out your life together as husband and wife:
“Don’t assume it can’t happen to your marriage. When things are going well, it’s easy to think that things will always be great. Unfortunately, if you’re not constantly trying to keep your marriage in tiptop shape, it won’t be. Life happens. Feelings happen. Stuff happens. …My absolute number one tip is to be aware of the fact that safeguarding your marriage needs to be a major priority. Don’t assume it can’t happen to your marriage.” (Whitney Shayo)
“Because every husband and wife has a sin nature, they will tend to struggle against themselves and against one another. Dan Allender says, ‘marriages suffer under the freight of the Fall.’ There are many challenges, such as work, time, and in-laws, that can eat away at a relationship and cause each to forget he or she is made in the image of God and that their calling is to assist the other in bringing out the glory of God. Allender goes on to say, ‘We struggle with sin in every dimension of every relationship, but in marriage we struggle with it more intensely and with more potential for damage.” (H. Norman Wright)
“Always keep in mind that the enemy of your soul is also the enemy of your marriage and the enemy of your communication. Disrupting lines of communication between a husband and wife is a common tactic. Ask God to keep you both aware of the enemy’s hand trying to stir up strife and misunderstandings. Don’t allow it to happen. If it already has, declare that because God is for you, no one can be against even the two of you.” (Stormie Omartian)
Proactively Combating These Attacks
We encourage you to be pro-active, rather than just reactive as to the threats that are posed against your marriage. Get on your knees together and determine that nothing is so great that God is not greater still. Nothing can attack you that you won’t stand together and fight it as a united team. Consider how the following warning can apply to your marriage as it is attacked during times of suffering:
“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” (1 Peter 5:8-9)
Determine the weak areas of your marriage. Then find ways to come together —learning relationship skill sets that you can. As you do this your marriage will be all the stronger!
And even if your marriage is in trouble now, don’t live in defeat.
“The enemy may have devastated you or your marriage. Your spouse may have cheated on you. Your spouse may have said or done something hurtful or shocking. Fight for what’s left. God can heal your marriage. God can restore your marriage. And God can renew your marriage. Fight for what’s left.” (Jentezen Franklin)
Look to the Lord to help you in your marriage. Don’t let the enemy of our faith or our sinful natures defeat us and our marriages. When we stand with God, we are stronger than any problem that attacks us or our marriage!
Steve and Cindy Wright
— ADDITIONALLY —
To help you further, we give a lot of personal stories, humor, and more practical tips in our book, 7 ESSENTIALS to Grow Your Marriage. We hope you will pick up a copy for yourself. (It’s available both electronically and in print form.) Plus, it can make a great gift for someone else. It gives you the opportunity to help them grow their marriage. And who doesn’t need that? Just click on the linked title or the picture below:
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